"I was sitting outside and the gentleman and his wife saw me sitting and he said "oh by the way how's your wife doing?"
I told him that she had died and his face and her face went pale with Embarrassment. He kept apologizing over and…"
"Today is the first day of spring and when I woke up in the middle of the night, I found myself with the sensation of total isolation. I got my clothes on (it was about 3 AM in the morning) and I went outside in the middle of the night. there was no…"
"Today is Sunday, I'm sitting in Hoboken on the bench getting some fresh air.
I had a complete and absolute nightmare and I woke up screaming last night .
tomorrow I will go to the hospital and to find out about my test results.
"I went to the unemployment office today. I did the orientation and my unemployment will not be interrupted.
I am sorry to say that I will never be able to live without my wife a Annette.
I just wasn't built to last without her I know I…"
"Something else that I wasn't expecting. I found out that I'm talking to myself -- loudly to the point where someone asked me, while I was waiting for a cab "are you all right sir?" I asked why I wouldn't be and they said…"
"I got a call and exhaustionfrom the hospital. they want to do a second round of tests. so I have to go back this week. I'm getting incredibly weaker each day. I can't even walk any further now. I walk a few feet with blinding, intense pain…"
"Hi, Rich. Your story about the old man on the park bench touched me. Because you remember him, feel for him, understand about him. What a gift this is to give to him across all the years. Your heart is opening back up and that means Love will claim…"
Unfortunately my current landlord is someone who I've tried to be able to deal with in the past for getting things fixed and they took forever or never.
They know of my situation and my loss of Annette and even then they still…"
"I received a call this morning from social services and they said they are making up the checks for the two months back rent that I owe to the landlord. Even though they will be paying for it, im told I'm still responsible however for paying…"
"I just realized what my life is now. it's to have no one to say "I love you" to. to not feel the touch of each others hands. To not look into each other's eyes and say "I love you"
That's what so frightening. to…"
Thanks for the compliment. one thing that I am certain of, I don't think I could ever take medication for my depression and grief. I consider It a cheat. No pill should be used as a crutch. that's just my point of view. I keep…"
"Richard, it's good to hear that some progress was made. I agree with the others. Take care of yourself, because you are important. Thank you for openly sharing with us. (I find myself calling out for…"
"I just woke up around 5 o'clock. right now the strange thing is I woke up screaming out Annette's name.
Right now I'm so exhausted. it's not just lack of sleep but actual mental and physical exhaustion. It's so strange to…"
"Richard, I think I can speak for a lot of us here that are relieved that for the time being, as Bluebird so wisely advised, you get some help to at least try to be comfortable without an added layer of suffering. Bravo for getting out there…"
I lost my beloved Honey Bunny wife Annette on December 2nd, 2016. She died from complications from obesity. I myself am obese and heading down the same path. We had no children and I am alone. I live now in silence and devestated.
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Its what we all keep praying for Richard. Just last night I took a sturdy cardboard box that a lamp had come in and I kicked it so hard and so long against the wall I thought I was going to pass out. Some hours can be unbearable. Some minutes we try to breathe. Some days are measured knowing we are one day closer to not having to be here alone and hoping we are going to be embraced by our beloved again.
Its alot of wishing and hoping......and in the interim praying it doesn't last long. I haven't found an end to the suffering but I will say it varies in degrees. And yes, tearing you to pieces sounds all too familiar. We just bear it. Endure it. And this time of year is definitely very very hard. People who live in the old universe still celebrating while we are jumping off the bridge. Soon we will be into January ..... try to find something to keep you busy Richard. Its one of the ways to save your brain from totally going over.....distraction will help somewhat......take care Richard....
Today December 25th and I woke up screaming out my wife's name. I chased around the apartment and am in agony. There's no end to this suffering. What do I have? An apartment and a lousy job with silence and grief that's tearing me to pieces. I keep hoping I don't wake up. It is the only thing that I continue to pray for.
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I just read your post from yesterday. You are SO right!! I have some clothing of my mom's tucked away that I am keeping. One piece is a shirt she used to wear in the 60's that I remember so clearly from when I was a little girl. I…"
"I'm so sorry, Theresa. It's too bad the lot of us don't live nearer together so we could meet and support one another. One thing I've learned through this is that there are people in our lives who can be thoughtless and…"
I can relate so well to this. I can't tell you how many times I have said and felt these exact same things. I'd see a recipe that looked good and start to call my mom to tell her about it, I'd create a piece of art but she…"
"I went out shopping with a friend today. When I saw a pretty wind chime, I found myself thinking "Mom would like that". But there is no more Mom to get presents for. I miss her. I want her back. I wish this was all a very long, horrible…"
"It really helps to communicate with others who have experienced the same loss, so thanks to all who answered my post. Lenny, Connie and Kim - we all understand each other. Today was a better day for me - some days are like that.…"
"Dear Connie, Katherine and Kim
I fully understand the bereft feelings and I also have been anxious about precious moments of our daughters and where they will end up when we pass. The pain of losing our only child never ends , even when we appear to…"
I feel the very same way. I have everything form my son's baby things, through elementary and high school. He died at age 17 and never got to even graduate, drive a car by himself, well you know....I have things of mine I wanted…"
"I too have regrets and your post deeply resonated with me. I wish I spent more time with him. I wished I laughed more with him. I wish I talked to him more. It's too late now.
I will never be the same. I am trying to help myself in little…"
I am forced to do all of these things as quick as I can because I have to go back to work soon. I am trying to finish all of the paperwork. I was forced to do things quickly even though I am so emotionally distraught. My world stopped when…"
I am so sad that your husband died a sudden death. My partner and I had a conversation about what's the worst thing that could happen to him. We talked about it for hours and we cried a lot that night. In a way we were saying…"
"Catherine, I to lost my only child my son in 2014. im not doing good, I pray to die everyday. theres no life with out my son for me. shawn is the love of my life. my depression is getting worse, my loneliness emptiness. im so very…"
"Heather, yes I do, I have no one, my husband doesn't even want to hear me talk about it, he ignores me when I do
I have not had a dream about her yet
To me it seems like everyone thinks I should just move on, but I'm not ready, I have…"
"I do the same thing, at least several times a day. My Mom was a diabetic so I had to take the used testing strips back to the pharmacy the other day. I actually sat In the car hugging it, something of hers that I have to let go of and it made me so…"
"I just had to say when I get in bed at night I have such a hard time - I cry mostly every night and I remember that every night when i used to talk to my mom on the phone when we were hanging up she would say love you...And I think to myself who…"
"I lost my only son, aged 28, in November 2014. On the surface I am doing well, and I am functioning on a day to day basis just fine. But every day it replays in my mind how the police came to my door to say Scott had 'passed…"