Richard Rivera
  • Male
  • Union City, NJ
  • United States
Share on Facebook
Share

Richard Rivera's Friends

  • KIM Montgomery
  • irina s
  • Nora
  • Jackie cooke
  • emma
  • Elynn m
  • Doug
  • Brenda Ann

Richard Rivera's Groups

Richard Rivera's Discussions

LIVING ALONE CAN BE LETHAL
2 Replies

I've been having many fainting spells. I can't cook as I leave the oven on and collapse and forget it's still on. This morning I fainted and cracked my pinky toe ( and slammed my head too). I decided…Continue

Started this discussion. Last reply by Jackie cooke Jun 17.

YES, IT DOES FEEL LIKE THE FIRST DAY
3 Replies

I can't stop thinking of my wife Annette. The hell feels like the first day. I woke thinking I shouldn't make any noise because I might wake her up. Then suddenly I realize she's not her

Started this discussion. Last reply by Nora Jun 16.

TO REMARRY OR NOT?
9 Replies

Loneliness is killing me every day and night. all I could think about about is being with my wife Annette and yet I know I will never remarry. I know myself too well and my wound is too deep. Just…Continue

Started this discussion. Last reply by Jean Jun 13.

WE JUST CAN'T WAIT TO BE WITH OUR LOVED ONES
4 Replies

All I am doing right now I'm sitting on the edge of the bed in the dark room waiting to pass out.And I am still terrified every night and day thinking where will I be, why can't I just die right now…Continue

Started this discussion. Last reply by Nora Jun 5.

Gifts Received

Gift

Richard Rivera has not received any gifts yet

Give a Gift

 

Richard Rivera's Page

Latest Activity

Jackie cooke replied to Richard Rivera's discussion LIVING ALONE CAN BE LETHAL
"Hi richard, that's really scary, this is probably a stupid question but can you not get some sort of panick button? Shirls brother has epilepsy and he has a button that contacts emergency if he falls or collapses, he doesn't even have to…"
Jun 17
Nora replied to Richard Rivera's discussion YES, IT DOES FEEL LIKE THE FIRST DAY
"Every day is like I don't know what to do. I only know that I should find a job but I forget about it on my way to the desk, do something like a robot, pet my dogs - useless, aimless existence... Absolutely everything that belongs to…"
Jun 16
Nora replied to Richard Rivera's discussion LIVING ALONE CAN BE LETHAL
"Let me know how you are doing.  It is hard. I know: I don't have anybody at all - just my 2 dogs."
Jun 16
Richard Rivera posted a discussion

LIVING ALONE CAN BE LETHAL

I've been having many fainting spells. I can't cook as I leave the oven on and collapse and forget it's still on. This morning I fainted and cracked my pinky toe ( and slammed my head too). I decided to re-set the toe myself to avoid going to the hospital.Hurt like hell and I'm still in pain. I made arrangements with my brother that if he calls me and I don't respond within 48 hours that I may be injured , unconscious or worse - dead. That he may need to call an ambulance just as a precaution.I…See More
Jun 16
Jackie cooke replied to Richard Rivera's discussion YES, IT DOES FEEL LIKE THE FIRST DAY
"I had a dream last night about Shirl, I knew in the dream that I only had a day with her and then she would die. I was holding her and we were both sobbing then I must have woke up. Richard it feels like she died again last night, I'm sobbing…"
Jun 16
JO B replied to Richard Rivera's discussion YES, IT DOES FEEL LIKE THE FIRST DAY
"it will evry day i hell"
Jun 15
Richard Rivera posted a discussion

YES, IT DOES FEEL LIKE THE FIRST DAY

I can't stop thinking of my wife Annette. The hell feels like the first day. I woke thinking I shouldn't make any noise because I might wake her up. Then suddenly I realize she's not her
Jun 15
Jean replied to Richard Rivera's discussion TO REMARRY OR NOT?
"What a lovely way to accept the things that happen to us and the ones we love. Your message is one of hope and happiness. I have been struggling with the loss of my mother and a best friend. Now a loss of a long time friend of 40 years to a…"
Jun 13
Jackie cooke replied to Richard Rivera's discussion TO REMARRY OR NOT?
"I agree Joanne, it wouldn't even be fair on anyone else as they could never even to start to compare to shirl. Iv never wanted or looked or thought about being with anyone else since I was 16 so if I haven't in 36 years I'm not going…"
Jun 12
bluebird replied to Richard Rivera's discussion TO REMARRY OR NOT?
"Exactly, joanne. That's how it is for me, too."
Jun 11
joanne replied to Richard Rivera's discussion TO REMARRY OR NOT?
"Bluebird i completely agree with you.x  I am one of those people that believe we have only one true love in our life time , I had mine and even though he may not be here with me, he his still mine, always will be mine. I have zero interest in…"
Jun 11
bluebird replied to Richard Rivera's discussion TO REMARRY OR NOT?
"Anne, You're right,but I wouldn't care if a great guy, kind and intelligent and good-looking, wanted to have a relationship with me (not that it's likely at this point anyway, but as a hypothetical). I have zero interest. I do not…"
Jun 11
AnneJ replied to Richard Rivera's discussion TO REMARRY OR NOT?
"Getting married isn't something you decide to do, that's for sure. At this stage of the game, half of us are extremely undesirable in terms of romantic attraction, and the other half of us don't exactly have the cream of the crop…"
Jun 11
bluebird replied to Richard Rivera's discussion TO REMARRY OR NOT?
"I will never marry again.  I will never date again, or develop any sort of romantic/sexual relationship with anyone else, ever.  The very idea is anathema to me.  My husband is my soulmate, and I never have and never will…"
Jun 10
Nora replied to Richard Rivera's discussion TO REMARRY OR NOT?
"I think, my dearest friends, that LOVE is the only base for any marriage. And LOVE just exists, it does not depend on our thinking about it, searching for it, even rejecting it. You cannot FIND love actually as it is always with you, inside your…"
Jun 9
Jackie cooke replied to Richard Rivera's discussion TO REMARRY OR NOT?
"Richard I to am struggling with the emptiness and loneliness but there is absolutely no way I could consider being with anyone else. As painful as this life is I do not want to replace Shirl. I wouldn't judge anyone or blame anyone for moving…"
Jun 9

Profile Information

About my Loss:
I lost my beloved Honey Bunny wife Annette on December 2nd, 2016. She died from complications from obesity. I myself am obese and heading down the same path. We had no children and I am alone. I live now in silence and devestated.

Comment Wall (5 comments)

You need to be a member of Online Grief Support - A Social Community to add comments!

Join Online Grief Support - A Social Community

At 5:22pm on May 18, 2017, beverly zuriff said…

Hi Richard,  I hope you are doing better today.  I know how terrible it is to lose the lose you love. Sometimes the grief is unbearable.  I wish I knew how to deal with this terrrible sadness.  I guess we just have to go through it, it's like a storm that has to end. Take care of yourself.   Bev   

At 4:03pm on May 16, 2017, beverly zuriff said…

Hi Richard,  I hope you can begin to accept what has happened to you.  I prey that for myself also.  Life without your love is terrible.  What can we do?  I guess, we try to accept what we cannot change, but for me, right now that doesn't seem possible.  I hope you  can find your way, I hope I can too.  I  keep thinking, "better to love and lost, than not to have loved at all".  Sounds good but doesn't work for me.

At 8:35pm on May 15, 2017, beverly zuriff said…

Yesterday, Richard, was a very sad day without my husband celebrating mother's day with me.  As I was lying in bed later in the day, I looke up at the ceiling and I saw a basket of beautiful flowers.  I never had hallucinations in my lifetime, and I don't know what a near death experience is, but I thought I would  share this with you.  Bev

At 8:17pm on December 25, 2016, morgan said…

Its what we all keep praying for Richard.  Just last night I took a sturdy cardboard box that a lamp had come in and I kicked it so hard and so long against the wall I thought I was going to pass out.  Some hours can be unbearable.  Some minutes we try to breathe.  Some days are measured knowing we are one day closer to not having to be here alone and hoping we are going to be embraced by our beloved again.  

Its alot of wishing and hoping......and in the interim praying it doesn't last long.  I haven't found an end to the suffering but I will say it varies in degrees.  And yes,  tearing you to pieces sounds all too familiar.  We just bear it.  Endure it.  And this time of year is definitely very very hard.  People who live in the old universe still celebrating while we are jumping off the bridge.  Soon we will be into January ..... try to find something to keep you busy Richard.  Its one of the ways to save your brain from totally going over.....distraction will help somewhat......take care Richard....

At 3:12pm on December 25, 2016, Richard Rivera said…
Today December 25th and I woke up screaming out my wife's name. I chased around the apartment and am in agony. There's no end to this suffering. What do I have? An apartment and a lousy job with silence and grief that's tearing me to pieces. I keep hoping I don't wake up. It is the only thing that I continue to pray for.

Richard Rivera's Blog

LOOKING TO SPEAK WITH SOMEONE HOW HAS HAD A RECORDED NDE

Hello:

I'm looking to (either in this forum or privately by email) to speak to those of you who have had a NDE. 

I wanted to understand certain aspects of the NDE and hope someone can clarify some questions I have.

I'd be forever grateful...

Thanks

Richard Rivera

Posted on May 15, 2017 at 2:40pm — 4 Comments

 
 
 

Latest Activity

bluebird commented on Constance May's blog post Just now joining to see what it's about.
"There are a lot of people on this site in the same or similar position; I hope that you will find some comfort here."
6 hours ago
bluebird replied to Darlene's discussion My grief has made me feel numb from the neck down, has anyone else felt this?
"I prefer not to feel anything, now. It's not healthy, I know, but it's my preference."
6 hours ago
bluebird commented on Jon-Paul Ackerman's group Lost My Spouse...
"Kim, Yes, grief is unbelievably exhausting. I am simultaneously always tired, and unable to sleep without pills.  When I have stuff I have to do, like doing the laundry or grocery shopping, it takes me hours to work up to doing it. I can manage…"
6 hours ago
morgan commented on Jon-Paul Ackerman's group Lost My Spouse...
"Melissa, I remember the early days.  I remember wondering about bills and what was I going to do and how was I going to do it because all I wanted to do was lay in the fetal position on my bed and cry and yet I had to go to work and on and on…"
6 hours ago
Joy joined Niecy's group
Thumbnail

Compounded grief with existing anxiety and depression.

During the tragic loss of a loved one or having gone through several tragedies , be it death of a loved one, divorce , personal health issues, or getting older , ect. Sometimes the stress and depression compounded by grief can be debilitating and it may have us feel as if we are mourning our own deaths while we are grieving the loss of our loved ones , We feel as if our own lives are over , Being in this mode can make recovery a longer more confusing process for some. It can be uncomfortable to…See More
6 hours ago
KIM Montgomery commented on Jon-Paul Ackerman's group Lost My Spouse...
"Can some please tell me, is grief truly exhausting.  It seems like I can barely stay awake when I get home.  I get up at 4:45 in the morning and at work by 5:45.  I usually leave around 2:45, hoping to have some energy to do things at…"
8 hours ago
Theresa commented on Karen's group I miss my Mom!
"i just past the one and a half year mark and my mom's birthday would be next week she would've been 94 I've been having a bad week I guess that happens I just miss her so much I feel so all alone."
9 hours ago
Ericka replied to Jules's discussion Lost without my husband in the group Lost My Spouse...
"Jules I understand some of what you're going through.  Yesterday would have been our 14th wedding anniversary. Instead, it was a day of pure misery.  It's only been six weeks since my 47-year-old husband passed away from…"
13 hours ago
Ericka joined Jon-Paul Ackerman's group
13 hours ago
morgan left a comment for Julianna Jenkins
"Its a long time to have your brain wired to someone else's.  I find I am still struggling pretty much daily, sometimes moe severe than others.  Right now I am going through having to pack up and move from one place I lived to another…"
14 hours ago
morgan left a comment for Jennifer Shepard
"Jenifer. I lost my love to stage IV caner and we had 27 days from diagnosis to death.  He was 63 and in 2 days would have been his 68th birthday.  No kids and one cat who belonged to him and stayed with me afterwards until she too died.…"
14 hours ago
morgan left a comment for Adria Manary
"Adria, I lost my husband over four years ago and I am not inspired.  I am just going through the necessary motions.  People want me to feel or they encourage me that I hopefully will find something that will bring back my spark.  Its…"
14 hours ago
morgan left a comment for Larry Piersa
"Be there.  Let her call and cry to you.  Dont offer advice.  Tell her how sorry you are this is happening to her but you will be there for her whenever or for whatever she wants or needs and do that.  Let her exhaust her…"
14 hours ago
Belle Merc replied to Janet Shores Hoogendyk's discussion Murder, Suicide, And living in fear in the group Multiple Losses Group
"June 23/17 - Dear heart, I cannot imagine the pain you are in with all that loss and horror.  I hope I can communicate with you in the future, I am also grieving many losses.  I am an Ordained Minister and I believe in the power of prayer…"
14 hours ago
Belle Merc joined Julie Dolsey-Weiss's group
Thumbnail

Multiple Losses Group

I am creating this site for the many of us who have suffered several losses. I lost my mom, dad, grandma(2nd mom), grandpa, my beloved dog and divorce.Many of us have lost more than one person or event.Come share!See More
14 hours ago
Belle Merc updated their profile
15 hours ago
Joy replied to Joy's discussion Missing mama every day! in the group Adult Daughters grieving the death of her Mother
"Thanks for the kind words Dennis. My belief in God and life after this one ends is what keeps me going."
15 hours ago
Dennis C. replied to Joy's discussion Missing mama every day! in the group Adult Daughters grieving the death of her Mother
"Joy I am very sorry for your loss. I believe that one day we will be reunited with our loved ones. Until then I rely on that belief to keep me looking forward and hopeful. This certainly doesn't take our pain away, but it does keep us focused…"
15 hours ago
Profile IconDennis C. and Joy joined Tonya's group
Thumbnail

Adult Daughters grieving the death of her Mother

This group is for adult daughters trying to cope with losing her Mother
15 hours ago
Joy commented on Karen's group I miss my Mom!
"It's been a month since I buried mama. The world seems surreal to me now that she's gone. I love her so much. I refuse to use the past tense because to me love never dies. I know grief is a process, but one I'd rather not have to…"
15 hours ago

© 2017   Created by Diana, Grief Counselor.   Powered by

Badges  |  Report an Issue  |  Terms of Service