Richard Rivera
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  • Union City, NJ
  • United States
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FIRST BIRTHDAY ALONE...
5 Replies

Today is Tuesday, September the 5th. My birthday is tomorrow, Wednesday the 6th. It is the first without my beloved wife. The agony and loneliness is too much to bear. I continue to decline in health…Continue

Started this discussion. Last reply by Richard Rivera Sep 6.

FINALLY LOSING IT
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It's been 8 months since my wife died in my arms. Annette's life was so intertwined with mine that her not being here has led me not to care. The silence has killed me. I still stagger to work --…Continue

Started this discussion. Last reply by Richard Rivera Aug 24.

WHERE AM I? WHEN DOES IT END?
4 Replies

I have fought to keep what little there is left of my sanity. Annette being gone has caused profound pain mentally and physically. I know many here know what I'm talking about. I wake up and STILL…Continue

Started this discussion. Last reply by Richard Rivera Aug 7.

TERRIFIED AGAIN SO VERY ALONE
2 Replies

I am trying so hard to deal with the loneliness the fear of being so very alone in the house with no one to speak to. I feel like I'm drowning in the dark and I can't Escape. Last night I had, for…Continue

Started this discussion. Last reply by Richard Rivera Jul 12.

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About my Loss:
I lost my beloved Honey Bunny wife Annette on December 2nd, 2016. She died from complications from obesity. I myself am obese and heading down the same path. We had no children and I am alone. I live now in silence and devestated.

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At 5:22pm on May 18, 2017, beverly zuriff said…

Hi Richard,  I hope you are doing better today.  I know how terrible it is to lose the lose you love. Sometimes the grief is unbearable.  I wish I knew how to deal with this terrrible sadness.  I guess we just have to go through it, it's like a storm that has to end. Take care of yourself.   Bev   

At 4:03pm on May 16, 2017, beverly zuriff said…

Hi Richard,  I hope you can begin to accept what has happened to you.  I prey that for myself also.  Life without your love is terrible.  What can we do?  I guess, we try to accept what we cannot change, but for me, right now that doesn't seem possible.  I hope you  can find your way, I hope I can too.  I  keep thinking, "better to love and lost, than not to have loved at all".  Sounds good but doesn't work for me.

At 8:35pm on May 15, 2017, beverly zuriff said…

Yesterday, Richard, was a very sad day without my husband celebrating mother's day with me.  As I was lying in bed later in the day, I looke up at the ceiling and I saw a basket of beautiful flowers.  I never had hallucinations in my lifetime, and I don't know what a near death experience is, but I thought I would  share this with you.  Bev

At 8:17pm on December 25, 2016, morgan said…

Its what we all keep praying for Richard.  Just last night I took a sturdy cardboard box that a lamp had come in and I kicked it so hard and so long against the wall I thought I was going to pass out.  Some hours can be unbearable.  Some minutes we try to breathe.  Some days are measured knowing we are one day closer to not having to be here alone and hoping we are going to be embraced by our beloved again.  

Its alot of wishing and hoping......and in the interim praying it doesn't last long.  I haven't found an end to the suffering but I will say it varies in degrees.  And yes,  tearing you to pieces sounds all too familiar.  We just bear it.  Endure it.  And this time of year is definitely very very hard.  People who live in the old universe still celebrating while we are jumping off the bridge.  Soon we will be into January ..... try to find something to keep you busy Richard.  Its one of the ways to save your brain from totally going over.....distraction will help somewhat......take care Richard....

At 3:12pm on December 25, 2016, Richard Rivera said…
Today December 25th and I woke up screaming out my wife's name. I chased around the apartment and am in agony. There's no end to this suffering. What do I have? An apartment and a lousy job with silence and grief that's tearing me to pieces. I keep hoping I don't wake up. It is the only thing that I continue to pray for.

Richard Rivera's Blog

LOOKING TO SPEAK WITH SOMEONE HOW HAS HAD A RECORDED NDE

Hello:

I'm looking to (either in this forum or privately by email) to speak to those of you who have had a NDE. 

I wanted to understand certain aspects of the NDE and hope someone can clarify some questions I have.

I'd be forever grateful...

Thanks

Richard Rivera

Posted on May 15, 2017 at 2:40pm — 4 Comments

 
 
 

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Louise replied to Ashley Lounsbury's discussion I lost my daddy to suicide.
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Louise posted a blog post

Does Counselling Really Help?

I’ve not been on here for a while, it’s been so hard just trying to get through the days; keeping myself busy, trying desperately hard not to think about things and often failing miserably. I’m so tired of feeling so shitty all the time. I had my first session with a counsellor today, after feeling initially nervous and not wanting to say much everything came out and I cried like a baby. I feel absolutely drained now and very emotional. So my question is this, does counselling really help or…See More
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Linda Engberg commented on Jon-Paul Ackerman's group Lost My Spouse...
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""All I want, like most of the rest of you, is to reunite with my husband.  I want to know he is ok.  I want to hold him again.  I want his love.  The sooner the better." Morgan's words, simple yet so profound,…"
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morgan commented on Jon-Paul Ackerman's group Lost My Spouse...
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morgan replied to Ashley Lounsbury's discussion I lost my daddy to suicide.
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Ashley Lounsbury posted a discussion

I lost my daddy to suicide.

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"I'm the same way bluebird"
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bluebird commented on Jon-Paul Ackerman's group Lost My Spouse...
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bluebird commented on Jon-Paul Ackerman's group Lost My Spouse...
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Paul commented on Jon-Paul Ackerman's group Lost My Spouse...
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bluebird commented on Jon-Paul Ackerman's group Lost My Spouse...
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Paul commented on Jon-Paul Ackerman's group Lost My Spouse...
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Marine Marietta posted a group
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Elderley Abuse Mum died

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Sunday

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