Richard Rivera
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  • Union City, NJ
  • United States
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TODAY DECEMBER 2nd IS MY FIRST YEAR WITHOUT ANNETTE

Has a year really gone by that fast? I'm sitting outside, the sun is out and TV's weather beutiful. Only I sit alone. Annette and I sat next to each other every day and talked about how the birds…Continue

Started Dec 2, 2017

LOOKING FOR CHILDLESS WIDOW/ERS IN THE HUDSON COUNTY, NEW JERSEY AREA

I  trying to find a grieving group where the members DO NOT HAVE support via family members. Their relatives, their children etc...I'm trying to start a group for those like myself who have no…Continue

Started Nov 30, 2017

MADNESS TAKING ITS TOLL
6 Replies

This December 2nd will mark the first full year of my wife's death. I am still alone. In the dark. ANd I'm more terrified than I've ever been in my life. A full year and each day feels like the first…Continue

Started this discussion. Last reply by Richard Rivera Nov 29, 2017.

TIMES HAVE GOTTEN WORSE... WISH IT WEREN'T SO..
3 Replies

It's been a while since I posted anything. I think I needed to tell others what's been going on since my beloved wife Annette died last December 2nd. We had no children, no friends or relatives. All…Continue

Started this discussion. Last reply by Richard Rivera Oct 25, 2017.

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Latest Activity

Robin M Bond replied to Richard Rivera's discussion TO REMARRY OR NOT?
"Hi there, it is very difficult to live alone and spend a whole life in loneliness. I think in every phase of life you need someone who cares for you, make you smile and love you. I think you need to take the help of professionals who can help you…"
Apr 12
Kelley J Lopez replied to Richard Rivera's discussion FIRST BIRTHDAY ALONE...
"I am sorry to hear this. But I wish you happy birthday and good wishes for you."
Jan 10
Richard Rivera posted a discussion

TODAY DECEMBER 2nd IS MY FIRST YEAR WITHOUT ANNETTE

Has a year really gone by that fast? I'm sitting outside, the sun is out and TV's weather beutiful. Only I sit alone. Annette and I sat next to each other every day and talked about how the birds chirp led and squirrels could race past us. Arrying thief munchies to their nests.All that is gone. I sit alone, my breathing today is at it's worse. Even when we were obese we suffered together. It made us appreciate life so much more. Now the pain of grief and body makes life beyond unfulfilling.…See More
Dec 2, 2017
Richard Rivera posted a discussion

LOOKING FOR CHILDLESS WIDOW/ERS IN THE HUDSON COUNTY, NEW JERSEY AREA

I  trying to find a grieving group where the members DO NOT HAVE support via family members. Their relatives, their children etc...I'm trying to start a group for those like myself who have no children, no family or friends. Who have fallen through the cracks and wonder why they keep suffering alone.Tragic tho a loss is, imagine being so alone in the world and in mental and physical pain with little or no hope left -- and no one to help.I want to start a support group for those who have…See More
Nov 30, 2017
Richard Rivera replied to Richard Rivera's discussion MADNESS TAKING ITS TOLL
"David: I have yet to get the bloodwork results back. I ned to contact the doctor for the follow up this week. I don't know, I keep begging Annette to forgive me, take me with her. I continue even with the first full year of her death I scream…"
Nov 29, 2017
David Heggi replied to Richard Rivera's discussion MADNESS TAKING ITS TOLL
"Hello Richard, Sorry you're not doing well. Hopefully the results of your bloodwork will give your provider somewhere to begin with treatment - what do they say? What kind of work do you do?  If you can't do it anymore, aren't…"
Nov 29, 2017
Richard Rivera replied to Richard Rivera's discussion MADNESS TAKING ITS TOLL
"David Thank you for responding to my post I don’t know why I am in the condition that I am in but hopefully the bloodwork will be more detailed as always time is running out I could no longer carry this weight of 459 pounds my knees are…"
Nov 29, 2017
David Heggi replied to Richard Rivera's discussion MADNESS TAKING ITS TOLL
"Bless you Richard, You're pulling all my strings. I too cry out for my beloved to come for me and not leave me behind; it's been my worst nightmare. Is there some physical malfunction the reason for your weight gain?  What does your…"
Nov 28, 2017
Richard Rivera replied to Richard Rivera's discussion MADNESS TAKING ITS TOLL
"I keep screaming into the night. I cry out to Annette to come for me. I beg her not to leave me behind. I wait and wait. My health is such that my morbid obesity has gotten even worse. I have over 15 pounds of lymphatic fluid increase in just a few…"
Nov 28, 2017
David Heggi replied to Richard Rivera's discussion MADNESS TAKING ITS TOLL
"I'm so sorry, Richard The loss of your dear Annette would be more than enough to handle.  You also have health and financial problems, and a job you dislike - all so overwhelming. I understand how you want it all over and be with your…"
Nov 27, 2017
Richard Rivera posted a discussion

MADNESS TAKING ITS TOLL

This December 2nd will mark the first full year of my wife's death. I am still alone. In the dark. ANd I'm more terrified than I've ever been in my life. A full year and each day feels like the first day I lost Annette.I go to a job so unfulfilling, where each day I get closer to being let go (for whatever reason). It's a matter of time. My health is now at a point where the fluid sack between my legs has actually grown. The pain is indescribable. I don't know how much longer I have left until…See More
Nov 27, 2017
Richard Rivera replied to bobby parks's discussion MY BELOVED WIFE
"Dear Bobby: I really do feel the agony and suffering you’re going through. I lost my wife December 2nd. We were childless. We had only each other. I live alone. No friends not even a goldfish. Despite your tradegy, you still have a son who so…"
Nov 6, 2017
Richard Rivera replied to Richard Rivera's discussion TIMES HAVE GOTTEN WORSE... WISH IT WEREN'T SO..
"Dear Anne/Morgan: As I write this, I've come back from another doctor visit. I'm told that my weight is so profound that only surgery will help me. Since my job doesn't cover the costs and I'm penniless I've decided to let…"
Oct 25, 2017
morgan replied to Richard Rivera's discussion TIMES HAVE GOTTEN WORSE... WISH IT WEREN'T SO..
"Richard, I don't know what to tell you other than my hope is that your wish comes true.  Sounds morbid but being at four years/ ten months I am ridiculously tired of getting beat up.  I keep smashing into the brick wall of having to…"
Oct 23, 2017
Richard Rivera posted a discussion

TIMES HAVE GOTTEN WORSE... WISH IT WEREN'T SO..

It's been a while since I posted anything. I think I needed to tell others what's been going on since my beloved wife Annette died last December 2nd. We had no children, no friends or relatives. All we had was each other. We were poor, but we were happy. We knew we had no one but each other. Many a time we were on the verge of eviction because we were both out of work. And I remember those days when we had no food in our fridge and went days without eating except milk and eggs.No one, no soup…See More
Oct 23, 2017

Profile Information

About my Loss:
I lost my beloved Honey Bunny wife Annette on December 2nd, 2016. She died from complications from obesity. I myself am obese and heading down the same path. We had no children and I am alone. I live now in silence and devestated.

Comment Wall (5 comments)

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At 5:22pm on May 18, 2017, beverly zuriff said…

Hi Richard,  I hope you are doing better today.  I know how terrible it is to lose the lose you love. Sometimes the grief is unbearable.  I wish I knew how to deal with this terrrible sadness.  I guess we just have to go through it, it's like a storm that has to end. Take care of yourself.   Bev   

At 4:03pm on May 16, 2017, beverly zuriff said…

Hi Richard,  I hope you can begin to accept what has happened to you.  I prey that for myself also.  Life without your love is terrible.  What can we do?  I guess, we try to accept what we cannot change, but for me, right now that doesn't seem possible.  I hope you  can find your way, I hope I can too.  I  keep thinking, "better to love and lost, than not to have loved at all".  Sounds good but doesn't work for me.

At 8:35pm on May 15, 2017, beverly zuriff said…

Yesterday, Richard, was a very sad day without my husband celebrating mother's day with me.  As I was lying in bed later in the day, I looke up at the ceiling and I saw a basket of beautiful flowers.  I never had hallucinations in my lifetime, and I don't know what a near death experience is, but I thought I would  share this with you.  Bev

At 8:17pm on December 25, 2016, morgan said…

Its what we all keep praying for Richard.  Just last night I took a sturdy cardboard box that a lamp had come in and I kicked it so hard and so long against the wall I thought I was going to pass out.  Some hours can be unbearable.  Some minutes we try to breathe.  Some days are measured knowing we are one day closer to not having to be here alone and hoping we are going to be embraced by our beloved again.  

Its alot of wishing and hoping......and in the interim praying it doesn't last long.  I haven't found an end to the suffering but I will say it varies in degrees.  And yes,  tearing you to pieces sounds all too familiar.  We just bear it.  Endure it.  And this time of year is definitely very very hard.  People who live in the old universe still celebrating while we are jumping off the bridge.  Soon we will be into January ..... try to find something to keep you busy Richard.  Its one of the ways to save your brain from totally going over.....distraction will help somewhat......take care Richard....

At 3:12pm on December 25, 2016, Richard Rivera said…
Today December 25th and I woke up screaming out my wife's name. I chased around the apartment and am in agony. There's no end to this suffering. What do I have? An apartment and a lousy job with silence and grief that's tearing me to pieces. I keep hoping I don't wake up. It is the only thing that I continue to pray for.

Richard Rivera's Blog

LOOKING TO SPEAK WITH SOMEONE HOW HAS HAD A RECORDED NDE

Hello:

I'm looking to (either in this forum or privately by email) to speak to those of you who have had a NDE. 

I wanted to understand certain aspects of the NDE and hope someone can clarify some questions I have.

I'd be forever grateful...

Thanks

Richard Rivera

Posted on May 15, 2017 at 2:40pm — 4 Comments

 
 
 

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Brett Bowman commented on Karen's group I miss my Mom!
"I was thinking about this today. If I could have my mom back for just one month I would dote on her till the cows came home. The truth is my mom wouldn't have liked that. She didn't like to be doted on. At the end she was very appreciative…"
1 hour ago
BLUEBELL commented on Karen's group I miss my Mom!
"Thank you for your post Brett. It not only will help Virginia, it is helping me too. Bluebell"
12 hours ago
Brett Bowman commented on Karen's group I miss my Mom!
"Virginia, our stories are very similar. I was my mom's caretaker as well. I was diagnosed with PTSD after she died. When we have PTSD we can turn just about everything into a worst case scenario. It is so easy to look back and question…"
12 hours ago
BLUEBELL commented on Karen's group I miss my Mom!
"Hi Virginia and welcome. May I ask when your dear Mom passed away? Bluebell"
14 hours ago
Virginia G commented on Karen's group I miss my Mom!
"And speaking of therapists, I have ptsd, and sometimes I feel like I don’t fully realize what happened.  I sort of get numb at times and feel guilty about it.  I asked my therapist if it means I don’t care about my Mom.…"
21 hours ago
Virginia G commented on Karen's group I miss my Mom!
"Hi, just joined the group.  Wanted to comment on Brett’s point about people getting tired of hearing about grief or not understanding it.  I feel like I want to talk about my Mom constantly, whether it’s good times or bad.…"
21 hours ago
Virginia G joined Karen's group
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I miss my Mom!

If you have that hole in your heart that you get when you lose the woman that you shared a body with....
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Andrew posted a blog post

Lost a great friend.

I recently received news that my best friend passed away from heroin laced with fentanyl at age 31 on jan 10th. I was in shock and felt like i was in a bad dream. I hadn't heard from him in almost 6 months and figured he was out slamming dope because in the past he would tend to avoid me and my mother (who was like a 2nd mom to him) because he didn't want us seeing him strung out and didn't want to ruin our relationship of trust. May 15th, i arrive home from a job interview and check facebook…See More
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morgan replied to monty thompson's discussion My wife passed 5 days before christmas in the group Lost My Spouse...
"Monty, I want to let you know that everything you are feeling is normal even though it seems so difficult compared to what we thought we had and what we knew.  The death of our spouse is the most difficult thing we will ever face, bar none.…"
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Jen H replied to monty thompson's discussion My wife passed 5 days before christmas in the group Lost My Spouse...
"Hi Monty, I lost my husband New Year’s Eve and have a 4 year old. It is extraordinarily hard to put on the happy face, be everything she needs, keep productive at my job, keep the house going and all the other needs of life covered. Bless you…"
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monty thompson added a discussion to the group Lost My Spouse...
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My wife passed 5 days before christmas

Hi AllMy name is Monty and i have become single parent of two special needs boys when i lost my wife and life partner of 25 years, 5 days before Christmas.My wife had Myotonic Dystrophy and other the last 2 years she had really declined both in her ability to look after herself, our boys, happiness and quality of life.i tried all i could to try and encourage her to be the best she could given her condition.   Unfortunately this was not enough to stave off a simple cold turning bad overnight and…See More
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CYBERSIS commented on Ginger's blog post No Title
"Really sorry for your loss. How awful to lose a child. I guess some people are really uncomfortable with grief and just don't know what to say.  I know exactly the loss you feel. I lost my mother in October. I saw her and talked to her…"
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Alice Thompson commented on Jon-Paul Ackerman's group Lost My Spouse...
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