RatherNotSay
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  • Houston, TX
  • United States
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Not really feeling anything

My family is made up of my mom, my 2 sisters, 1 adopted sister (who lives elsewhere), 2 kid brothers, B (a family friend who is more like a grandfather), my significant other, and Mike ( B's son, who…Continue

Started Sep 7

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RatherNotSay posted a discussion

Not really feeling anything

My family is made up of my mom, my 2 sisters, 1 adopted sister (who lives elsewhere), 2 kid brothers, B (a family friend who is more like a grandfather), my significant other, and Mike ( B's son, who also dated my mom). A couple months ago, a week before Mike's 40th birthday, he collapsed suddenly and started saying he was in pain and wanted to go to the hospital. (For Mike this is a big deal because he always refuses to go to the doctor ever since he had and got over cancer a few years ago.) I…See More
Sep 7
RatherNotSay is now a member of Online Grief Support - A Social Community
Sep 7

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About my Loss:
My family is large. Its my mom, me, my two brothers, two sisters, and adopted sister,an old family friend who is basically more like a grandpa to me, my significant other, and the family friends son, who is also an old family friend who also dated my mom and they still really cared about each other and were talking about being together forever. The son's name was Mike. Exactly a week before his 40th birthday he suddenly collapsed. I was at work at the time. My family called an ambulance but the ambulance driver told him it was a pinched nerve probably causing his extreme pain. The ambulance driver wouldn't take him to the hospital, only offered to load him into his vehicle for my family to take him. Mike was always stubborn about going to the doctor after he had cancer, and after the ambulance drive left he just refused to go. About six hours later, he collapsed again and was crying in pain. (I had just gotten home.) When I saw how he was deteriorating, I told my family we had to force him to go. We struggled to get him in the car (my sisters, my significant other and I, because my brothers are only 9 and 10 and my mom and B (the family friend)both have old injuries that prevent them from heavy lifting. Mike was at the first hospital for a few hours and we waited while they did surgery. Turns out he had a torn aorta. They took him by helicopter to another hospital where they had better ability to do the surgery. We followed (my mom, B, and I) and we met his brother in law and niece at the hospital. He was in surgery for hours and then they came out and said that sadly the surgery (which they told us had a less than 1% chance of be successful)was successful but they declared him brain dead. They let us say goodbye and then they took him off the machines.

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M Adams left a comment for clarinda sprankle
"Dear Clarinda, what a terrible loss -- my heart goes out to you.  One of my uncles recently had to move into assisted living for similar reasons, so his wife is now on her own in their apartment.  She seems to be coping, but I'm…"
14 hours ago
Survivor17 updated their profile
yesterday
Survivor17 is now friends with Michael and clarinda sprankle
yesterday
Linda Engberg shared Kristina Rose's photo on Facebook
yesterday
Linda Engberg commented on Jon-Paul Ackerman's group Lost My Spouse...
"Dear Morgan and Trina, Thanks for the two beautiful posts. We are so lucky to have this forum.It is a place we can come to and not be judged by the world for the way we feel. This is the only support we have to make it through our daily lives. Thank…"
yesterday
Trina Mamoon commented on Jon-Paul Ackerman's group Lost My Spouse...
"Dear morgan, Linda, John, Joe, Denise, JenShep, Monty, and all Those Others reading this, I empathize with you all. My heart goes out to you! I think one of the reasons that others who have not lost a spouse do not understand us is because as Linda…"
Wednesday
Trina Mamoon commented on Jon-Paul Ackerman's group Lost My Spouse...
"Dear morgan, Linda, John, Joe, Denise, JenShep, Monty, and all Those Others reading this, I empathize with you all. My heart goes out to you! I think one of the reasons that others who have not lost a spouse do not understand us is because as Linda…"
Wednesday
Virginia G replied to mindy's discussion Feeling pretty well depressed
"What about your past?  I have so many regrets about mine.  I think about my whole life and everything I did wrong and how I want to do it over"
Wednesday
Virginia G commented on Karen's group I miss my Mom!
"I am thinking God is trying to tell me I deserve to be alone.   Theresa I know the Doors but don’t like them.  Im old. And I think the penny was from your Mom. Brett, I liked your line, “honking load of crap”.   And…"
Wednesday
mindy posted a discussion

Feeling pretty well depressed

My depression has been at it worse since I lost my grandpa it will be two years March 25th and my past bothers me alot too See More
Tuesday
Kristen Harlow posted a discussion

Feeling alone

I’ve been through a lot. In 2014, my father became officially bedridden on Christmas day due to Frontotemporal dementia and my sister was diagnosed with stage 3 colon cancer. She went through operations, a colostomy bag, and 6 months of chemo. In 2015, my husband’s play went to Broadway, and for that play he was nominated for a Tony award, as was the play itself, the playwright, and 3 of the actors.We went to the Tony award ceremony on June 7, and the next day, out of the blue, he told me he…See More
Tuesday
Profile IconKristen Harlow, Susie A, Ginny Brown and 1 more joined Online Grief Support - A Social Community
Tuesday
morgan commented on Jon-Paul Ackerman's group Lost My Spouse...
"It isn't a secret how death affects many of us.  Its just avoided when the conversation comes up......For us it is as though we buried ourselves.  I think it is brave and necessary for those who have lost their beloved and still have…"
Tuesday
Linda Engberg commented on Jon-Paul Ackerman's group Lost My Spouse...
"Jen, You hit the nail on the head that all people on this site didn't have the kind of love we had with our spouses. They were our soulmates and we were as one."
Tuesday
JenShep commented on Jon-Paul Ackerman's group Lost My Spouse...
"I haven't posted in a while but I'm still in the same boat I was last time I posted and to come back here and read others' posts that sound so much like what I'm still going through is a bit of a comfort.  Joe, like you I…"
Tuesday
Linda Engberg commented on Jon-Paul Ackerman's group Lost My Spouse...
"Hi John, I still have the car my Husband and  bought in 2003. I keep it in tip top shape because it is still part of him and brings me comfort. After almost six years I still attend the annual workshop "Hope for the Holidays" given by…"
Tuesday
Theresa commented on Karen's group I miss my Mom!
"Avi I believe when you are talking to God your mom hears you she is right there. I also do not get any signals, but pay closer attention. I was praying to her one night because someone close to me is not well, and I said please mom help, please ask…"
Tuesday
Avi commented on Karen's group I miss my Mom!
"I also talk to God now at my home or in temple. It makes me feel that I am talking to my mom.  I did not receive any signals which make me feel that my mother is nearby but I still believe that she can listen me. "
Tuesday
Brett Bowman commented on Karen's group I miss my Mom!
"Theresa, I wish I could go to church with you. Church is very emotional for me. It's a combination of sadness and a feeling that I am close to my mom there. I cry a lot at church. Not out loud, but I try to sit in the back now. I don't…"
Tuesday
John T. commented on Jon-Paul Ackerman's group Lost My Spouse...
"A few days ago, our old car blew a head gasket on the freeway as I was on the way for a consultation with a doctor about skin cancer.  I am a baby about it even though it's not life-threatening.  Another of those times when I feel so…"
Tuesday

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