RUTH
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  • ontario
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About my Loss:
My mother moved from PEI to Ontario in April 2011 to be closer to me, my two brothers, and her four grandchildren. Life was good and my mother had no health issues at all. We spent lots of time together doing various things. In March 2012 she became ill with a persistent cough and was having trouble keeping food down. After two visits to the medical clinic enough was enough...we went to the emergency department to get an x ray. Pneumonia was their conclusion but the dr on duty also noticed some nodules on her lungs...as my mother was not a smoker he didn't seem very concerned but did arrange for a specialist appointment for a follow up. That appointment was made for July 2012, there was nothing sooner. So off we went to take the medication for pneumonia with hopes that everything would be better. Two weeks later there was only a little improvement in her cough...she still had problems keeping food down and started to become short of breath. Off to the hospital again...the verdict at this visit was her heart was beating to fast and that's why she is short of breath and heart meds were now prescribed along with a new appointment to a cardiologist and various tests. After a serious of tests the dr said that medications should control her problem and we scheduled a follow up visit. May 6, my birthday, we had a family bbq and it was becoming more obvious that mom wasn't well and didnt seem to be improving much. She pretended she ate the food but my brother and I saw her throw it out, she didn't want us worrying about her. May 12th, we had planned months earlier that we would go see the Johnny Reid concert that was coming to town, mom was weaker and I didn't think she would be able to manage the walk. So since she insisted on going we bought her a wheelchair. For her to sit in it proved even more that she was not well at all. May 13th, Mothers Day, my children and I spent the day cooking with her, watching movies and enjoying the warm summer weather we were having. May 17th, when I called her in the morning I knew we couldn't wait any longer...the next dr appointment was only a week away but mom was so short of breath that she couldn't hide it anymore. By noon on the 17th, we were once again in the emergency department, checked right in as she was in excruciating pain and I thought she was having a heart attack. The doctor that seen my mother was very cold at first, and i got upset with him as he was acting as if her pain was not real. After another series of x rays, cat scans and other tests...my mother was diagnosed on May 17, 2012 with lymphoma. she never did get to leave the hospital after that day...only for short walks with me pushing her in a wheelchair outside. She tried everything she could to fight this demon that was living in her, the first round of chemo nearly killed her and she had to have a series of blood transfusions. Eventually there was nothing that could be done and she was transferred to a palliative care centre, for end of life care. The care was great, but the environment, families losing other family members daily was a horrible thing to have to watch. All the while you know that your time will eventually come...weeks went on and we basically moved into the room with her. We would take turns going home to run a few errands, make some food to feed all of us, back and forth, back and forth. We enjoyed and cherished every minute that we had as we also ached inside and slowly watched her fade away. I never did see my mother cry...she was brave and strong and again I know she didn't want us worrying about her. Finally, on August 10th, I knew the end was near...her breathing changed, she was in a come from the previous evening....this was to be our last day with mom. Shock is what I think we all felt, how could this be happening to her!? After a brave battle she passed away ...I am missing her so much although I know she is now at peace. Life just isn't the same...she was our angel...

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Latest Activity

Boots updated their profile
2 hours ago
bluebird and M Adams are now friends
11 hours ago
Carol Peckham Taylor left a comment for Greg Darby
"Sorry to hear of your loss. Taking baby step and present moment living will help, along with your family and close friends."
17 hours ago
Profile IconMiriam Holmes and Greg Darby joined Online Grief Support - A Social Community
yesterday
Shirelle posted a status
"My son died November 25 at 936 am and I have. Cried everyday I honestly don't know what to do I can't function at all what do I do?"
Friday
Profile IconKatherine A Pericas Geersten, nikita and Katrina joined Online Grief Support - A Social Community
Thursday
Sue M commented on Kar's group Missing my Son or Daughter
"Hello to all of you who are here for the same unimaginable reason as I am. I found this website last night after another night of going to bed where instead of sleep, pain sets in that I was able to escape from all day by being busy. Jess's…"
Jan 14
Sue M joined Kar's group
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Missing my Son or Daughter

For all of us that are suffering the loss a son or daughter.See More
Jan 14
Sue M updated their profile
Jan 14
Profile IconSue M and Christine joined Online Grief Support - A Social Community
Jan 14
Linda Engberg commented on Jon-Paul Ackerman's group Lost My Spouse...
"Joe, I have seven tattoos one for each year Julian has been gone. It is my way of honoring him  People make fun of me saying I am too old (71) to have them. Glad to hear I am not the only one still honoring their spouse after death."
Jan 13
Serenity replied to Linda Engberg's discussion Ending my Life
"Wow..you suicide yourself there us no place for you in heaven. You will find yourself again and life will go on without your dearly departed. Learn to love yourself find what you like to do there has to something. Think of it like this he…"
Jan 12
Serenity replied to Elynn m's discussion Lonely again
"It is a tradgedy to lose a loved one. But it does get better. Not everyday will be the same some days burn to the core more than others. Find a hobby or volunteer or help someone basically find something to do to ease the monotony of the day. In…"
Jan 12
Joe Kelly commented on Jon-Paul Ackerman's group Lost My Spouse...
"Thank you Linda.  It's beautiful for you to had done that.  I have tattoo of our names in a heart.  I wear two sets of our wedding bands on both pinkys and ring fingers.  We're still married and always will be forever.…"
Jan 12
Linda Engberg commented on Jon-Paul Ackerman's group Lost My Spouse...
"Joe, What a beautiful post. I have a tattoo on my shoulder of both our hands on our wedding day. I added my own words. God be with you."
Jan 12
Serenity is now a member of Online Grief Support - A Social Community
Jan 12
Rick Rilloraza left a comment for morgan
"Yes I still miss her terribly.  I am still sad and angry.  I was left with two boys ages 12 and 8 at that time.  What kept me going was making sure they were provided for and raised well.  I still have full on bawls when the…"
Jan 11
Joe Kelly commented on Jon-Paul Ackerman's group Lost My Spouse...
"Reliving two years ago.  Ten days till She took Her last exhaling breath in my arms.  She went knowing that we will be together forever and it can't come soon enough for me. Till then:"
Jan 11
morgan left a comment for Rick Rilloraza
"Rick, I am curious because I am within a week of being a widow of seven years how you are doing it allotter eight years?  Today, and more often lately (lets say for about the past six months) I have become more angry and more hateful of having…"
Jan 9
Profile IconShirelle, Rick Rilloraza, David Williams and 1 more joined Online Grief Support - A Social Community
Jan 9

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