Peggy
  • Female
  • Kingston, Ontario
  • Canada
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Peggy's Friends

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  • Jay Zimmermann
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  • Kimberly
  • Joseph
  • Paula Marie
  • Lori Eckenrode
  • Shannie L.
  • Linda Engberg
  • kathleen akin
  • bluebird

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Latest Activity

Peggy left a comment for L.O
"I know the only way I could describe how I felt at the beginning was that I felt like I'd had a limb ripped off of my body.  No surgery, just torn away.  You're a team, it's a small team, only 2 members but still, 1/2 of the…"
Jan 3
L.O left a comment for Peggy
"Thank you Peggy, im not sure how i came across this site but im glad i have somewhere to talk. I do have lots of support from family and friends but i feel they dont understand as they all still have their partners. I lost my father almost 5 years…"
Jan 3
Peggy left a comment for L.O
"Oh sweetie, you're not single, you're a widow.  He was your partner and had he not died, you'd be getting married.  I'm so so sorry for your loss.  I cannot even imagine how difficult it must be for you with your…"
Jan 3
Peggy replied to L.O's discussion lost my soulmate in the group Lost My Spouse...
"I'm very very sorry for your loss.  I lost my husband suddenly in August 2015.  A friend of mine who had lost her husband unexpectedly a couple of years before I did, sent me a really helpful book and I've sent it to a number of…"
Jan 3
Peggy commented on Jon-Paul Ackerman's group Lost My Spouse...
"Stewart, thank you so much for your post.  You're an inspiration! It takes time and a lot of work but I too believe that you can get through this (although I always say you never get over it).  Since I lost my husband in 2015…"
Dec 20, 2017
Peggy left a comment for Kay
"I'm so sorry for your loss Kay.  I lost my husband in 2015 and while I know you never ever get over a loss like this, you can get through it. I hope you find some folks here who lost someone in similar circumstances.  Talking to…"
Dec 18, 2017
Peggy left a comment for Aaron Hoenig
"I'm so very sorry for your loss Aaron.  I lost my husband to cancer as well.  He died in August 2015.  It's early days right now and I hope you are feeling well supported by your family and friends.  Should you ever…"
Dec 16, 2017
Peggy and Jay Zimmermann are now friends
Feb 8, 2017
Peggy left a comment for Jay Zimmermann
"Well Jay, unfortunately, we're all uniquely qualified to help each other out because we actually understand what it feels like to lose the most important person in your life.  I kept thinking it felt like a limb had been ripped off of my…"
Feb 8, 2017
Jay Zimmermann left a comment for Peggy
"Thank you Peggy for being so kind and understanding.  You seem to really get what it was like with me."
Feb 8, 2017
Peggy left a comment for Jay Zimmermann
"I am so very sorry for your loss Jay.  I lost my husband suddenly as well, in August 2015.  We had been together for 16 years (married for the last 6).  We weren't a same sex couple but we were married by a humanist…"
Feb 8, 2017
Peggy commented on Jon-Paul Ackerman's group Lost My Spouse...
"I received your request Michael and just sent you a note."
Dec 9, 2016
Peggy and Michael are now friends
Dec 9, 2016
Peggy commented on Jon-Paul Ackerman's group Lost My Spouse...
"Michael, I had a lot of anxiety after my husband died and my doctor put me a low dose of an anti-anxiety med for a few months.  He died in August, I was on the meds from October to March.  I asked to come off of them because I was troubled…"
Dec 9, 2016
Louise replied to Peggy's discussion Sharing this on behalf of new member Brittany in the group Traumatic, Sudden Loss
"Oh Peggy, I am so very very sorry for your loss. To lose your soulmate is a crushing pain, sometimes you feel like you can't breathe and everyday is hard. I am so sorry you are going through this. I lost my husband suddenly 2 months ago, we had…"
Dec 2, 2016
Peggy added a discussion to the group Traumatic, Sudden Loss
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Sharing this on behalf of new member Brittany

A message from Brittany to all members of Traumatic, Sudden Loss on Online Grief Support - A Social Community! Hello everyone, my name is Brittany. I am new to this and not quiet sure how this works. My therapist pointed me in this direction so i thought i would give it a try. I am 24 years old from Wisconsin. I met my boyfriend, Kyle, last March through a mutual friend. We clicked instantly. He was tall, buff and had the most amazing eyes. I felt butterflies in stomach right when i saw him.…See More
Dec 2, 2016

Profile Information

About Me:
Dog lover (all breeds), BSL opponent, feminist, survivor, LGTBQ ally, atheist, sometimes blogger, amateur photographer, music nerd, geeky girl... I often feel like I have a long way to go and a short time to get there.
About my Loss:
My husband Mark died suddenly on Sunday, August 16, 2015. He had cancer (he died from complications caused by colon cancer which had metastasized to his liver). 8 weeks after being told he'd have 3 to 5 years he passed away. We were together for 16 years.

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Peggy's Blog

Seven Months

This was originally posted on my blog on Wednesday, March 16 - http://bit.ly/1UmVKZ6

I have been writing online/blogging since 2000. Videos and podcasts are not things I have a lot of experience with. Except for a review of a coffee maker I did over a year ago, I have never made a video of myself. I felt the urge to do this earlier this evening after I visited the other house for the last time (the sale closes tomorrow). I wasn't sure if I…

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Posted on March 18, 2016 at 12:00pm

walloped

This was originally posted yesterday on my blog, http://bit.ly/1PFYfkY

So far this winter, thank goodness, the weather has been good to us.  Before I moved back into the city, there was only one day that was a little scary as far as winter driving went.  One day between November and mid-January?  I can't complain, and I won't.  Prior to this year, I had almost no winter driving experience.  Mark always drove when the…

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Posted on February 18, 2016 at 5:30am

Five months

My husband died 5 months ago today.



For the first time since he died I am alone in our house. Earlier today I dropped my beloved doggies off to be boarded for 2 days while I move house. I cried in the van after I dropped them off. We haven't had a night apart since Mark died.



I am sitting here surrounded by chaos. Tomorrow morning I will be surrounded by dear friends and my wonderful family. They are helping me with wave one of the move (boxes and misc stuff) and movers… Continue

Posted on January 16, 2016 at 7:04pm — 2 Comments

Reflections on a shitty week



This was published earlier today on my blog (http://bit.ly/1Oud2wh).  Thought I would share it here too as it deals with death and widowhood.



I shouldn’t say that the entire week is shitty because it’s not over yet.  This leads me to wonder what next?  What other horrible news can I wake up to, tomorrow morning?  Which of my favourite musicians or actors or writers have died?  Which of my friends or relatives has…

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Posted on January 14, 2016 at 8:24pm — 3 Comments

Comment Wall (10 comments)

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At 1:02pm on January 3, 2018, L.O said…

Thank you Peggy, im not sure how i came across this site but im glad i have somewhere to talk. I do have lots of support from family and friends but i feel they dont understand as they all still have their partners. I lost my father almost 5 years ago at first i was a mess but i got through it as i had my partner by my side, this pain im feeling is totally different to what i felt with my dad as i feel i have nowhere to go with it. We have six children together oldest is fourteen, youngest is ten months and i keep telling myself and our children that hes now our guardian angel watching over us and our angel baby x

At 1:51pm on February 8, 2017, Jay Zimmermann said…

Thank you Peggy for being so kind and understanding.  You seem to really get what it was like with me.

At 10:50pm on May 14, 2016, Jason said…
Thanks again I think I am going to try to sleep now hope you all have a good nite
At 10:39pm on May 14, 2016, Jason said…
Thank you very much as if it's not hard enough not talking to anyone is making it very hard I haven't got a clue what I am doing so I thank you for listening
At 9:32am on March 30, 2016, Joseph said…

Hi Peggy, thanks for the friend request. I am three weeks in today.  Lost my beautiful boy to lung cancer in just over 2 months.  We had an extraordinary relationship for more than 34 years.  I feel like the smallest most insignificant creature in the world.  A few months ago I could accomplish anything.  Today just breathing is a struggle.  Your generosity of spirit has helped a bit.  Also, sister, I grieve for your loss.  The love in his eyes is striking and the joy on your face is lovely to behold.  I hope there words are a comfort and not painful.  Keep writing and reaching out.  You are a missionary.

At 4:57pm on February 18, 2016, kathleen akin said…

Hi Peggy. thanks for the friend request. :)

At 2:07pm on December 24, 2015, Elaine Henderson said…
Thank you Peggy for reaching out....the pain is unimaginable, especially at this time of the year....appreciate your welcome message.
At 9:46am on December 14, 2015, Hilary Christene said…

Aww, Peggy. There is so much love emanating all through these pictures of your life together. Mark's eyes are so kindly and warm. Sending love your way. <3

At 1:54pm on December 10, 2015, Shannie L. said…

Peggy,

Thanks for your quick reply.  I was touched to see you'd written back so quickly.  I've never thought of cancer as a thief, but you're right.  It stole my mom and won't give her back.  Her illness was so brief and her death so quick that we didn't really "do" cancer.  No chemo, no radiation, never got plugged into the support networks.  It's kind of hard for me to relate to those who had a more typical experience with cancer death.  

Part of me considers that a blessing.  Mom hated doctors and hospitals and could not tolerate any medications.  She wouldn't even take Tylenol.  She would never have been able to endure any cancer treatment.  We knew she was sick for a year or so but the stubborn woman flat out refused to go to the doctor.  On the other hand, she might still be alive.  The second guessing kills me.  

Mom was raised Baptist and my Dad was Episcopalian growing up.  By the time I'd come along, Mom was a 70s New Ager and Dad was agnostic.  We used to go the Unitarian Church, and as a kid I would tell adults who asked that I was a Unitarian when they asked about my religion.  I grew up in a very conservative area so was often directly asked about this.  Telling people I was a Unitarian killed two birds with one stone - it was an ok response to our family's religion and since most people have no idea what a Unitarian is, and most adults weren't willing to tell a kid this, they would stop asking me questions.  

Like you, I know when people make comments about Mom being in Heaven or God having a purpose they are trying to be comforting.  Their comments come from a loving heart.  But to me, it's like nails on a chalk board at this point.  I am out at work and in my personal life as an atheist, but it still doesn't always stop the comments.  I had a co-worker/friend say to me, "Well, you believe in God now that your Mom has died, right?"  It just makes me feel more alone.  

At 12:51am on December 10, 2015, Shannie L. said…

Hi Peggy,

Hm, not sure how to start.  But I read your story and wanted to reach out to you.  Mom mother died unexpectedly on September 26, 2015.  We had just found out she had cancer 16 days before that.  We never got all the tests done to get a prognosis or final diagnosis.  She was just gone so quickly.  

Some days I do ok, but recently I have been struggling.  I, too, am an atheist, which makes grieving complicated, I think.  Not grieving, really, but finding good support, understanding support, that isn't full of things I don't believe. So, I wanted to say hi, and see if you wanted to talk.  

 
 
 

Latest Activity

BLUEBELL commented on Karen's group I miss my Mom!
""Grief counseling is not a magic bullet. We will feel what we feel until we heal." So true Brett. The counselor I see periodically does not push the grief process or closure. He encourages me to talk if I want to and gently gives…"
5 hours ago
CYBERSIS updated their profile
9 hours ago
Brett Bowman commented on Karen's group I miss my Mom!
"Bulebell, I don't think it is inappropriate at all to say I love you to this group. I love everyone here. This is a group that understands because we are all experiencing tremendous grief. I am so tired of random people telling me that I need…"
yesterday
BLUEBELL commented on Karen's group I miss my Mom!
"My Mom was cremated and her ashes were laid to rest in the ocean per her wishes. She wanted no services or even a celebration of her life. We honored her wishes, But I wish I had a place at a cemetery where I could go visit her. I think it might…"
yesterday
Theresa commented on Karen's group I miss my Mom!
"Bluebell, that is how the whole first year was for me after my mom passed, it was just a blur..."
yesterday
Theresa commented on Karen's group I miss my Mom!
"Marie my thoughts and prayers are with you, Brett is right we remember our moms everyday the same way, but for me it makes me feel happy to go to her grave and bring a flower and tell her I love her, but I tell her I love her every day and…"
yesterday
BLUEBELL commented on Karen's group I miss my Mom!
"Marie D, Thank you for your condolences. I am heartbroken every minute of the day about it. A couple of days after it happened, I offered to pick up his ashes and death certificates. It is 2 in the morning right now, so I am doing that today and…"
yesterday
Brett Bowman commented on Karen's group I miss my Mom!
"Marie, I am glad to see you post again. Mother's Day is my mom's birthday. Last years Mother's Day was really hard. I don't think it will be as bad this year. Seconds, minutes, and hours pass, and then it's another day. I…"
yesterday
Marie D commented on Karen's group I miss my Mom!
"Hi Brett, I am here, still struggling with deep depression. I need your and others advice, how do you handle Mother’s Day? This will be the first one since Mom passed on Christmas Day. I am overcome with grief, and dread just thinking about…"
yesterday
Madeleine replied to Madeleine's discussion What would you do if you could have your lost loved one back for just five minutes?
"Thank you - I totally agree. They never really leave us."
yesterday
Madeleine replied to Madeleine's discussion What would you do if you could have your lost loved one back for just five minutes?
"Hi Morgan, I'm so very sorry for your loss and heartbreak. It makes me wonder if asking people to write to their lost one on my website is just too much for many. I really hope people's words can make readers feel less alone in their grief…"
yesterday
morgan replied to Madeleine's discussion What would you do if you could have your lost loved one back for just five minutes?
"Madeleine, what would I do if I could have my husband back for just five minutes? My first reaction would be to run into his arms, hug him and then make mad passionate love like we did so many times and then I would ask him if I could take the pills…"
yesterday
dream moon JO B updated their profile
yesterday
dream moon JO B replied to Madeleine's discussion What would you do if you could have your lost loved one back for just five minutes?
"noy let go but i no ther is afrer lifess coz thy can vist us is m ush is thy need 2 esplyyy wen we need thm "
yesterday
dream moon JO B commented on Jesse's Mom's group Signs from Our Loved Ones
"lst 4 wks iv bean goin 2 spirtalstt churshes lot of pepepel had mesagess off lovesd 1s thy hav evn off e pepeepl it die ovr 60 or 70 or80 yrs go "
yesterday
Brett Bowman commented on Karen's group I miss my Mom!
"My sister kept some of my mom's voicemail to her. There is no way that I could listen to it. She also took some video footage of her while she was on Hospice. Seeing those would be very painful. Like you, looking through a photo album is so…"
Tuesday
Crystal K commented on Karen's group I miss my Mom!
"This is just so hard and I know we are all going through it... I just wish they told me it was going to hurt this much- I would've spent every minute with my mom and learned everything about her :( "
Tuesday
Crystal K commented on Karen's group I miss my Mom!
"Thank you Brett. I do try to honor her but it is so painful.  I attended church service yesterday. I think I did pretty well.  No unexpected outbursts. But then I came home and found an old album of photos, saw a picture of me and my mom…"
Tuesday
AnneJ. commented on Virginia G's blog post Post traumatic stress disorder
"Virginia, personally I am convinced, looking back, that my brain put up a shield to protect my mind from the devastating scene of my husband of 20 years dropping to his death in the shower. I'm still 99% nuts and that's the truth.…"
Tuesday
Madeleine posted a discussion

What would you do if you could have your lost loved one back for just five minutes?

Hi, I'm new to this site and would love to share my new project inspired by the loss of my mom 24 years ago - www.yourjustfiveminutes.com.Just Five Minutes was created to help those dealing with grief reconnect to their lost loved one, either by dreaming the impossible, or by simply reading other peoples' words who may be experiencing a similar sense of loss as you.It asks one question: 'What would you do if... came…See More
Monday

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