Peggy
  • Female
  • Kingston, Ontario
  • Canada
Share on Facebook
Share

Peggy's Friends

  • Jay Zimmermann
  • Michael
  • Kimberly
  • Joseph
  • Paula Marie
  • Lori Eckenrode
  • Shannie L.
  • Linda Engberg
  • kathleen akin
  • bluebird

Peggy's Groups

Gifts Received

Gift

Peggy has not received any gifts yet

Give a Gift

 

Peggy's Page

Latest Activity

Peggy commented on Jon-Paul Ackerman's group Lost My Spouse...
"I received your request Michael and just sent you a note."
Dec 9, 2016
Peggy and Michael are now friends
Dec 9, 2016
Peggy commented on Jon-Paul Ackerman's group Lost My Spouse...
"Michael, I had a lot of anxiety after my husband died and my doctor put me a low dose of an anti-anxiety med for a few months.  He died in August, I was on the meds from October to March.  I asked to come off of them because I was troubled…"
Dec 9, 2016
Louise replied to Peggy's discussion Sharing this on behalf of new member Brittany in the group Traumatic, Sudden Loss
"Oh Peggy, I am so very very sorry for your loss. To lose your soulmate is a crushing pain, sometimes you feel like you can't breathe and everyday is hard. I am so sorry you are going through this. I lost my husband suddenly 2 months ago, we had…"
Dec 2, 2016
Peggy added a discussion to the group Traumatic, Sudden Loss
Thumbnail

Sharing this on behalf of new member Brittany

A message from Brittany to all members of Traumatic, Sudden Loss on Online Grief Support - A Social Community! Hello everyone, my name is Brittany. I am new to this and not quiet sure how this works. My therapist pointed me in this direction so i thought i would give it a try. I am 24 years old from Wisconsin. I met my boyfriend, Kyle, last March through a mutual friend. We clicked instantly. He was tall, buff and had the most amazing eyes. I felt butterflies in stomach right when i saw him.…See More
Dec 2, 2016
Peggy replied to ShingingLight1967's discussion Living in the house in the group Lost My Spouse...
"My husband died without a will but we didn't have to do probate.  I applied to be trustee of his estate (did it on my own without a lawyer, saved SO much money).  He really didn't have an estate to speak of so everything passed…"
Nov 14, 2016
Peggy replied to ShingingLight1967's discussion Living in the house in the group Lost My Spouse...
"You should do what you want to do. You should do what you know is best for you. My husband died in August 2015 and in March 2016 I sold our house.  I moved back into a much smaller house that we had (it was a rental property) and haven't…"
Oct 27, 2016
Peggy replied to Cyndi W's discussion The day my world Stopped in the group Lost My Spouse...
"I'm sorry that on top of losing your husband, you have deal with the questions and scrutiny too.  Unfortunately, there is no hand book to deal with this, any of us who have lost our spouses suddenly like you did will tell you that. …"
Oct 27, 2016
Kimberly and Peggy are now friends
Oct 17, 2016
Peggy replied to Kimberly's discussion Not sure where to start here... in the group Lost My Spouse...
"Good for you.  Just focus on you and your son for now.  Everyone else can sort their own stuff out, that's not your responsibility.  I have to say, yesterday it was 14 months since Mark died and I still have a hard time believing…"
Oct 17, 2016
Peggy replied to Kimberly's discussion Not sure where to start here... in the group Lost My Spouse...
"You're right, you can't control their actions.  You can only control your reaction to them.  What I found, and what you may find helpful, was I decided to become very selfish.  I put myself first and did whatever I needed to…"
Oct 17, 2016
Peggy replied to Kimberly's discussion Not sure where to start here... in the group Lost My Spouse...
"Kimberly, I'm so sorry for your loss.  My husband died suddenly in August 2015.  I did sleep a lot afterwards, I felt lucky that I could as I know many folks suffer from insomnia.  The first few weeks after he died, I know now…"
Oct 14, 2016
Peggy replied to Maxey's discussion The Real Me is Gone! in the group Lost My Spouse...
"Barbara, it's been almost 14 months since I lost my husband.  Like you, I miss him every day and wish he were still here but I've made my peace with the face that he's not.  He's gone, he's not coming back,…"
Oct 12, 2016
Peggy commented on Denise's blog post Today is not a good one
"I'm sure that the counseling will help.  Although it's so painful, what you're experiencing is really normal.  I still find myself getting upset when I talk about Mark to folks who didn't know him.  I think…"
Jun 22, 2016
Peggy replied to Denise's discussion My husband died yesterday in the group Lost My Spouse...
"Hang in there Denise.  Sometimes you just have to sit and breathe deeply."
Jun 22, 2016
Peggy replied to Denise's discussion My husband died yesterday in the group Lost My Spouse...
"Denise, I'm so glad that you are letting folks help you.  Just getting through your day when you're grieving like you are is exhausting.  I found that I was so weary from just doing regular things.  A wonderful friend of…"
Jun 21, 2016

Profile Information

About Me:
Dog lover (all breeds), BSL opponent, feminist, survivor, LGTBQ ally, atheist, sometimes blogger, amateur photographer, music nerd, geeky girl... I often feel like I have a long way to go and a short time to get there.
About my Loss:
My husband Mark died suddenly on Sunday, August 16, 2015. He had cancer (he died from complications caused by colon cancer which had metastasized to his liver). 8 weeks after being told he'd have 3 to 5 years he passed away. We were together for 16 years.

Peggy's Photos

Loading…
  • Add Photos
  • View All

Peggy's Blog

Seven Months

This was originally posted on my blog on Wednesday, March 16 - http://bit.ly/1UmVKZ6

I have been writing online/blogging since 2000. Videos and podcasts are not things I have a lot of experience with. Except for a review of a coffee maker I did over a year ago, I have never made a video of myself. I felt the urge to do this earlier this evening after I visited the other house for the last time (the sale closes tomorrow). I wasn't sure if I…

Continue

Posted on March 18, 2016 at 12:00pm

walloped

This was originally posted yesterday on my blog, http://bit.ly/1PFYfkY

So far this winter, thank goodness, the weather has been good to us.  Before I moved back into the city, there was only one day that was a little scary as far as winter driving went.  One day between November and mid-January?  I can't complain, and I won't.  Prior to this year, I had almost no winter driving experience.  Mark always drove when the…

Continue

Posted on February 18, 2016 at 5:30am

Five months

My husband died 5 months ago today.



For the first time since he died I am alone in our house. Earlier today I dropped my beloved doggies off to be boarded for 2 days while I move house. I cried in the van after I dropped them off. We haven't had a night apart since Mark died.



I am sitting here surrounded by chaos. Tomorrow morning I will be surrounded by dear friends and my wonderful family. They are helping me with wave one of the move (boxes and misc stuff) and movers… Continue

Posted on January 16, 2016 at 7:04pm — 2 Comments

Reflections on a shitty week



This was published earlier today on my blog (http://bit.ly/1Oud2wh).  Thought I would share it here too as it deals with death and widowhood.



I shouldn’t say that the entire week is shitty because it’s not over yet.  This leads me to wonder what next?  What other horrible news can I wake up to, tomorrow morning?  Which of my favourite musicians or actors or writers have died?  Which of my friends or relatives has…

Continue

Posted on January 14, 2016 at 8:24pm — 3 Comments

Comment Wall (9 comments)

You need to be a member of Online Grief Support - A Social Community to add comments!

Join Online Grief Support - A Social Community

At 1:51pm on February 8, 2017, Jay Zimmermann said…

Thank you Peggy for being so kind and understanding.  You seem to really get what it was like with me.

At 10:50pm on May 14, 2016, Jason said…
Thanks again I think I am going to try to sleep now hope you all have a good nite
At 10:39pm on May 14, 2016, Jason said…
Thank you very much as if it's not hard enough not talking to anyone is making it very hard I haven't got a clue what I am doing so I thank you for listening
At 9:32am on March 30, 2016, Joseph said…

Hi Peggy, thanks for the friend request. I am three weeks in today.  Lost my beautiful boy to lung cancer in just over 2 months.  We had an extraordinary relationship for more than 34 years.  I feel like the smallest most insignificant creature in the world.  A few months ago I could accomplish anything.  Today just breathing is a struggle.  Your generosity of spirit has helped a bit.  Also, sister, I grieve for your loss.  The love in his eyes is striking and the joy on your face is lovely to behold.  I hope there words are a comfort and not painful.  Keep writing and reaching out.  You are a missionary.

At 4:57pm on February 18, 2016, kathleen akin said…

Hi Peggy. thanks for the friend request. :)

At 2:07pm on December 24, 2015, Elaine Henderson said…
Thank you Peggy for reaching out....the pain is unimaginable, especially at this time of the year....appreciate your welcome message.
At 9:46am on December 14, 2015, Hilary Christene said…

Aww, Peggy. There is so much love emanating all through these pictures of your life together. Mark's eyes are so kindly and warm. Sending love your way. <3

At 1:54pm on December 10, 2015, Shannie L. said…

Peggy,

Thanks for your quick reply.  I was touched to see you'd written back so quickly.  I've never thought of cancer as a thief, but you're right.  It stole my mom and won't give her back.  Her illness was so brief and her death so quick that we didn't really "do" cancer.  No chemo, no radiation, never got plugged into the support networks.  It's kind of hard for me to relate to those who had a more typical experience with cancer death.  

Part of me considers that a blessing.  Mom hated doctors and hospitals and could not tolerate any medications.  She wouldn't even take Tylenol.  She would never have been able to endure any cancer treatment.  We knew she was sick for a year or so but the stubborn woman flat out refused to go to the doctor.  On the other hand, she might still be alive.  The second guessing kills me.  

Mom was raised Baptist and my Dad was Episcopalian growing up.  By the time I'd come along, Mom was a 70s New Ager and Dad was agnostic.  We used to go the Unitarian Church, and as a kid I would tell adults who asked that I was a Unitarian when they asked about my religion.  I grew up in a very conservative area so was often directly asked about this.  Telling people I was a Unitarian killed two birds with one stone - it was an ok response to our family's religion and since most people have no idea what a Unitarian is, and most adults weren't willing to tell a kid this, they would stop asking me questions.  

Like you, I know when people make comments about Mom being in Heaven or God having a purpose they are trying to be comforting.  Their comments come from a loving heart.  But to me, it's like nails on a chalk board at this point.  I am out at work and in my personal life as an atheist, but it still doesn't always stop the comments.  I had a co-worker/friend say to me, "Well, you believe in God now that your Mom has died, right?"  It just makes me feel more alone.  

At 12:51am on December 10, 2015, Shannie L. said…

Hi Peggy,

Hm, not sure how to start.  But I read your story and wanted to reach out to you.  Mom mother died unexpectedly on September 26, 2015.  We had just found out she had cancer 16 days before that.  We never got all the tests done to get a prognosis or final diagnosis.  She was just gone so quickly.  

Some days I do ok, but recently I have been struggling.  I, too, am an atheist, which makes grieving complicated, I think.  Not grieving, really, but finding good support, understanding support, that isn't full of things I don't believe. So, I wanted to say hi, and see if you wanted to talk.  

 
 
 

Latest Activity

Panda commented on Karen's group I miss my Mom!
"Really missing my mom right now :/ she was the only one in my fd up family. And what hurts even more was I only really knew her for two weeks before she died cuz I got taken from her when I wasnt even two years old and when I turned 18 and had the…"
18 minutes ago
Panda joined Karen's group
Thumbnail

I miss my Mom!

If you have that hole in your heart that you get when you lose the woman that you shared a body with....
23 minutes ago
KIM Montgomery commented on Jon-Paul Ackerman's group Lost My Spouse...
"Today is an especially rough day, can't really nail it down to one thing.  So many things going through my head.  I have had 2 weeks to my self to process everything that has happened in since my husband's diagnosis and passing.…"
2 hours ago
Hannah updated their profile
3 hours ago
Profile IconRilo, Rachel, Denise and 8 more joined Online Grief Support - A Social Community
3 hours ago
Linda Engberg commented on Katherine Ellis's group Losing Someone to Cancer
"Morgan, You said it perfect, there is nothing worth living for without my Husband to share it with."
5 hours ago
Theresa commented on Karen's group I miss my Mom!
"Its been one year and seven months it has not changed, but it does get "softer", you'll know what I mean. Every night I tell her I love her and I would love to hear her voice one more time.  "
7 hours ago
BLUEBELL commented on Karen's group I miss my Mom!
"And same here. I have bad days and tolerable days. I am having a real hard time without my Mom right now. Life just does not make sense anymore. But I keep going on through the motions of  living, hoping this deep sense of loss will ease…"
15 hours ago
KIM Montgomery replied to KIM Montgomery's discussion Grief in the group Lost My Spouse...
"Nancy, yes it sounds like there were a lot of similarities in our situations.  I married late and so we would have celebrated our 16th wedding anniversary on August 16th of this year.  Jack's birthday was 12/29/2017. Cancer took my…"
16 hours ago
Doug replied to Cathy 's discussion My brother's death cirrhosis
"Hello Nancy, I don't know how both you, and Cathy, can carry on as well as you have after losing someone you loved so much? It's unbelievable to me that your husband's doctor could be so inept as to never test his liver function,…"
17 hours ago
Esther and Michael Thompson are now friends
18 hours ago
Esther commented on Katherine Ellis's group Losing Someone to Cancer
"Today has been waves of numb detachment for me... I try to be positive and hopeful but sometimes we can't force it and must just tolerate the sadness"
18 hours ago
JO B commented on Katherine Ellis's group Losing Someone to Cancer
"sorry for evry 1 it goin thru hell i am  i feal k im livin in hell coz of all bad shit wev had coz of loss"
21 hours ago
Michael Thompson commented on Katherine Ellis's group Losing Someone to Cancer
"Morgan, how beautifully written...And spot on!"
21 hours ago
Joy commented on Karen's group I miss my Mom!
"Same here. As you said some days are tolerable while others are still bad. I try to keep myself distracted, but memories of my mom invade my thoughts throughout the day."
21 hours ago
morgan commented on Katherine Ellis's group Losing Someone to Cancer
"I have been struggling along trying to improve upon what I was left to deal with without my husbands unfailing support for four and half years.  I still want to die.  Everyday.  And of course he would want for me to not have to suffer…"
21 hours ago
Theresa commented on Karen's group I miss my Mom!
"Just wanted to see how everyone is doing, I have bad days and tolerable days. Its still very difficult, I miss her so much."
21 hours ago
Nancy replied to KIM Montgomery's discussion Grief in the group Lost My Spouse...
"Hi Kim.  We have a lot of similarities.  Lost my husband to an aggressive cancer May 10th.  We had his celebration of life May 19th and it was truly a celebration with music, stories, food, a bonfire.  Just what he would've…"
23 hours ago
Nancy commented on Katherine Ellis's group Losing Someone to Cancer
"I don't think you are being an A hole.  I just think maybe you've had more time to clearly think and grieve.  I hope to get to the point where I can live my life without despair every waking moment as well.  I appreciate…"
yesterday
Michael C. Ramsey commented on Katherine Ellis's group Losing Someone to Cancer
"Not trying to be an A-hole here folks but, C'mon waiting/wanting to die? My Andrea is gone almost 3 years and she is always on my mind. I have good days and bad days BUT I try to live whatever days I have left the way she would want me to. She…"
yesterday

© 2017   Created by Diana, Grief Counselor.   Powered by

Badges  |  Report an Issue  |  Terms of Service