Peggy
  • Female
  • Kingston, Ontario
  • Canada
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Peggy's Friends

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  • Jay Zimmermann
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  • Joseph
  • Paula Marie
  • Lori Eckenrode
  • Shannie L.
  • Linda Engberg
  • kathleen akin
  • bluebird

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Latest Activity

Peggy left a comment for L.O
"I know the only way I could describe how I felt at the beginning was that I felt like I'd had a limb ripped off of my body.  No surgery, just torn away.  You're a team, it's a small team, only 2 members but still, 1/2 of the…"
Jan 3
L.O left a comment for Peggy
"Thank you Peggy, im not sure how i came across this site but im glad i have somewhere to talk. I do have lots of support from family and friends but i feel they dont understand as they all still have their partners. I lost my father almost 5 years…"
Jan 3
Peggy left a comment for L.O
"Oh sweetie, you're not single, you're a widow.  He was your partner and had he not died, you'd be getting married.  I'm so so sorry for your loss.  I cannot even imagine how difficult it must be for you with your…"
Jan 3
Peggy replied to L.O's discussion lost my soulmate in the group Lost My Spouse...
"I'm very very sorry for your loss.  I lost my husband suddenly in August 2015.  A friend of mine who had lost her husband unexpectedly a couple of years before I did, sent me a really helpful book and I've sent it to a number of…"
Jan 3
Peggy commented on Jon-Paul Ackerman's group Lost My Spouse...
"Stewart, thank you so much for your post.  You're an inspiration! It takes time and a lot of work but I too believe that you can get through this (although I always say you never get over it).  Since I lost my husband in 2015…"
Dec 20, 2017
Peggy left a comment for Kay
"I'm so sorry for your loss Kay.  I lost my husband in 2015 and while I know you never ever get over a loss like this, you can get through it. I hope you find some folks here who lost someone in similar circumstances.  Talking to…"
Dec 18, 2017
Peggy left a comment for Aaron Hoenig
"I'm so very sorry for your loss Aaron.  I lost my husband to cancer as well.  He died in August 2015.  It's early days right now and I hope you are feeling well supported by your family and friends.  Should you ever…"
Dec 16, 2017
Peggy and Jay Zimmermann are now friends
Feb 8, 2017
Peggy left a comment for Jay Zimmermann
"Well Jay, unfortunately, we're all uniquely qualified to help each other out because we actually understand what it feels like to lose the most important person in your life.  I kept thinking it felt like a limb had been ripped off of my…"
Feb 8, 2017
Jay Zimmermann left a comment for Peggy
"Thank you Peggy for being so kind and understanding.  You seem to really get what it was like with me."
Feb 8, 2017
Peggy left a comment for Jay Zimmermann
"I am so very sorry for your loss Jay.  I lost my husband suddenly as well, in August 2015.  We had been together for 16 years (married for the last 6).  We weren't a same sex couple but we were married by a humanist…"
Feb 8, 2017
Peggy commented on Jon-Paul Ackerman's group Lost My Spouse...
"I received your request Michael and just sent you a note."
Dec 9, 2016
Peggy and Michael are now friends
Dec 9, 2016
Peggy commented on Jon-Paul Ackerman's group Lost My Spouse...
"Michael, I had a lot of anxiety after my husband died and my doctor put me a low dose of an anti-anxiety med for a few months.  He died in August, I was on the meds from October to March.  I asked to come off of them because I was troubled…"
Dec 9, 2016
Louise replied to Peggy's discussion Sharing this on behalf of new member Brittany in the group Traumatic, Sudden Loss
"Oh Peggy, I am so very very sorry for your loss. To lose your soulmate is a crushing pain, sometimes you feel like you can't breathe and everyday is hard. I am so sorry you are going through this. I lost my husband suddenly 2 months ago, we had…"
Dec 2, 2016
Peggy added a discussion to the group Traumatic, Sudden Loss
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Sharing this on behalf of new member Brittany

A message from Brittany to all members of Traumatic, Sudden Loss on Online Grief Support - A Social Community! Hello everyone, my name is Brittany. I am new to this and not quiet sure how this works. My therapist pointed me in this direction so i thought i would give it a try. I am 24 years old from Wisconsin. I met my boyfriend, Kyle, last March through a mutual friend. We clicked instantly. He was tall, buff and had the most amazing eyes. I felt butterflies in stomach right when i saw him.…See More
Dec 2, 2016

Profile Information

About Me:
Dog lover (all breeds), BSL opponent, feminist, survivor, LGTBQ ally, atheist, sometimes blogger, amateur photographer, music nerd, geeky girl... I often feel like I have a long way to go and a short time to get there.
About my Loss:
My husband Mark died suddenly on Sunday, August 16, 2015. He had cancer (he died from complications caused by colon cancer which had metastasized to his liver). 8 weeks after being told he'd have 3 to 5 years he passed away. We were together for 16 years.

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Peggy's Blog

Seven Months

This was originally posted on my blog on Wednesday, March 16 - http://bit.ly/1UmVKZ6

I have been writing online/blogging since 2000. Videos and podcasts are not things I have a lot of experience with. Except for a review of a coffee maker I did over a year ago, I have never made a video of myself. I felt the urge to do this earlier this evening after I visited the other house for the last time (the sale closes tomorrow). I wasn't sure if I…

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Posted on March 18, 2016 at 12:00pm

walloped

This was originally posted yesterday on my blog, http://bit.ly/1PFYfkY

So far this winter, thank goodness, the weather has been good to us.  Before I moved back into the city, there was only one day that was a little scary as far as winter driving went.  One day between November and mid-January?  I can't complain, and I won't.  Prior to this year, I had almost no winter driving experience.  Mark always drove when the…

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Posted on February 18, 2016 at 5:30am

Five months

My husband died 5 months ago today.



For the first time since he died I am alone in our house. Earlier today I dropped my beloved doggies off to be boarded for 2 days while I move house. I cried in the van after I dropped them off. We haven't had a night apart since Mark died.



I am sitting here surrounded by chaos. Tomorrow morning I will be surrounded by dear friends and my wonderful family. They are helping me with wave one of the move (boxes and misc stuff) and movers… Continue

Posted on January 16, 2016 at 7:04pm — 2 Comments

Reflections on a shitty week



This was published earlier today on my blog (http://bit.ly/1Oud2wh).  Thought I would share it here too as it deals with death and widowhood.



I shouldn’t say that the entire week is shitty because it’s not over yet.  This leads me to wonder what next?  What other horrible news can I wake up to, tomorrow morning?  Which of my favourite musicians or actors or writers have died?  Which of my friends or relatives has…

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Posted on January 14, 2016 at 8:24pm — 3 Comments

Comment Wall (10 comments)

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At 1:02pm on January 3, 2018, L.O said…

Thank you Peggy, im not sure how i came across this site but im glad i have somewhere to talk. I do have lots of support from family and friends but i feel they dont understand as they all still have their partners. I lost my father almost 5 years ago at first i was a mess but i got through it as i had my partner by my side, this pain im feeling is totally different to what i felt with my dad as i feel i have nowhere to go with it. We have six children together oldest is fourteen, youngest is ten months and i keep telling myself and our children that hes now our guardian angel watching over us and our angel baby x

At 1:51pm on February 8, 2017, Jay Zimmermann said…

Thank you Peggy for being so kind and understanding.  You seem to really get what it was like with me.

At 10:50pm on May 14, 2016, Jason said…
Thanks again I think I am going to try to sleep now hope you all have a good nite
At 10:39pm on May 14, 2016, Jason said…
Thank you very much as if it's not hard enough not talking to anyone is making it very hard I haven't got a clue what I am doing so I thank you for listening
At 9:32am on March 30, 2016, Joseph said…

Hi Peggy, thanks for the friend request. I am three weeks in today.  Lost my beautiful boy to lung cancer in just over 2 months.  We had an extraordinary relationship for more than 34 years.  I feel like the smallest most insignificant creature in the world.  A few months ago I could accomplish anything.  Today just breathing is a struggle.  Your generosity of spirit has helped a bit.  Also, sister, I grieve for your loss.  The love in his eyes is striking and the joy on your face is lovely to behold.  I hope there words are a comfort and not painful.  Keep writing and reaching out.  You are a missionary.

At 4:57pm on February 18, 2016, kathleen akin said…

Hi Peggy. thanks for the friend request. :)

At 2:07pm on December 24, 2015, Elaine Henderson said…
Thank you Peggy for reaching out....the pain is unimaginable, especially at this time of the year....appreciate your welcome message.
At 9:46am on December 14, 2015, Hilary Christene said…

Aww, Peggy. There is so much love emanating all through these pictures of your life together. Mark's eyes are so kindly and warm. Sending love your way. <3

At 1:54pm on December 10, 2015, Shannie L. said…

Peggy,

Thanks for your quick reply.  I was touched to see you'd written back so quickly.  I've never thought of cancer as a thief, but you're right.  It stole my mom and won't give her back.  Her illness was so brief and her death so quick that we didn't really "do" cancer.  No chemo, no radiation, never got plugged into the support networks.  It's kind of hard for me to relate to those who had a more typical experience with cancer death.  

Part of me considers that a blessing.  Mom hated doctors and hospitals and could not tolerate any medications.  She wouldn't even take Tylenol.  She would never have been able to endure any cancer treatment.  We knew she was sick for a year or so but the stubborn woman flat out refused to go to the doctor.  On the other hand, she might still be alive.  The second guessing kills me.  

Mom was raised Baptist and my Dad was Episcopalian growing up.  By the time I'd come along, Mom was a 70s New Ager and Dad was agnostic.  We used to go the Unitarian Church, and as a kid I would tell adults who asked that I was a Unitarian when they asked about my religion.  I grew up in a very conservative area so was often directly asked about this.  Telling people I was a Unitarian killed two birds with one stone - it was an ok response to our family's religion and since most people have no idea what a Unitarian is, and most adults weren't willing to tell a kid this, they would stop asking me questions.  

Like you, I know when people make comments about Mom being in Heaven or God having a purpose they are trying to be comforting.  Their comments come from a loving heart.  But to me, it's like nails on a chalk board at this point.  I am out at work and in my personal life as an atheist, but it still doesn't always stop the comments.  I had a co-worker/friend say to me, "Well, you believe in God now that your Mom has died, right?"  It just makes me feel more alone.  

At 12:51am on December 10, 2015, Shannie L. said…

Hi Peggy,

Hm, not sure how to start.  But I read your story and wanted to reach out to you.  Mom mother died unexpectedly on September 26, 2015.  We had just found out she had cancer 16 days before that.  We never got all the tests done to get a prognosis or final diagnosis.  She was just gone so quickly.  

Some days I do ok, but recently I have been struggling.  I, too, am an atheist, which makes grieving complicated, I think.  Not grieving, really, but finding good support, understanding support, that isn't full of things I don't believe. So, I wanted to say hi, and see if you wanted to talk.  

 
 
 

Latest Activity

Darien commented on Cathy Richardson's group Being the Other Woman/Other Man
"Hello Krista,I'm afraid this forum isn't as active as some of us would like. I remember when I first came out here two years ago, raw with emotion. I still have times when I find myself still grieving, although it isn't as painful now…"
40 minutes ago
Theresa commented on Karen's group I miss my Mom!
"I understand Brett, but I don't want to be "checked out" They mess with your mind, I just want to be myself again."
4 hours ago
Silke B. commented on Kar's group Missing my Son or Daughter
"When the stars shine up in the sky, I miss you. When the sun rises & sets every day, I miss you. When the rain falls and everything looks bright and beautiful, I miss you. Every day, every hour, in every way, in everything I do, I miss you."
11 hours ago
Brett Bowman commented on Karen's group I miss my Mom!
"I also would like to hear from Bluebell."
13 hours ago
Brett Bowman commented on Karen's group I miss my Mom!
"Theresa, I finally came to the realization that what I was doing wasn't working for me. And I realized that taking an anti-depressant couldn't be any worse than crying all of the time, not sleeping, and destroying myself with guilt and…"
13 hours ago
Rebecca Clemens posted a blog post

Life without them

It's been 2 years and 2 months since I lost my dad, and 1 year and 3 months since u lost my grandmother. Sometimes I feel like they were never here, like this is normal life without them. Then I have moments when I want to curl up in a ball and just cry because it hurts so much to miss them. I try to remember the good moments but all I can think about is the last days.The other day I was at the hospital with a friend and when we walked in I saw my dad, like I was shook this older women was…See More
13 hours ago
Theresa commented on Karen's group I miss my Mom!
"Well it probably did help me but I gained about 20 pounds and I hardly eat anything because of my IBS so I don’t know what happened"
16 hours ago
Rebecca Clemens is now a member of Online Grief Support - A Social Community
16 hours ago
Avi commented on Karen's group I miss my Mom!
"Ok thanks Theresa. I sometimes want to try them but skeptical. "
17 hours ago
Theresa commented on Karen's group I miss my Mom!
"Avi I tried one Lexapro I did the pediatric does of 5mg"
17 hours ago
Avi commented on Karen's group I miss my Mom!
"Theresa, are you trying too many anti depressants?"
17 hours ago
Theresa commented on Karen's group I miss my Mom!
"Ok so my friend had to do the unthinkable, her dog is not suffering anymore.  But it just set off a crying spell with me. Maybe I need to go to the dr again, for the 10th time. So he can just look at me and say, do you want to try and…"
17 hours ago
Theresa commented on Karen's group I miss my Mom!
"Bluebell how are you?"
17 hours ago
Miriam updated their profile
yesterday
Virginia G commented on Karen's group I miss my Mom!
"Avi, I hope your Dad is doing well.  That must have been hard on you being in the hospital.  I am also sorry you are having more guilt like me.  It’s a horrible feeling.  Also one that others don’t understand."
yesterday
Monty replied to Pamela philipp's discussion FAILING in the group Lost My Spouse...
"Hi Im sorry for your loss no matter how long ago it is. i can only imagine the pain and emotions you are still going though. for me it was taking care of the kids and finding one thing to achieve (no matter how small) helped a lot. it was as small…"
Sunday
M Adams left a comment for Jarvis
"Thank you for creating this site, it is a lifeline for many people.  Hope your health is improving every day."
Sunday
Avi commented on Karen's group I miss my Mom!
"Hi All,  Hope every one is doing fine. Last week my father got an infection and was hospitalized so could not follow much here. Now he is better and recovering.  Virginia, you seem to be totally engrossed in the guilt which I can…"
Sunday
Virginia G commented on Karen's group I miss my Mom!
"My boyfriend finally gave up.  I don’t blame him at all. And Brett I will tell you I don’t deserve the prayers, pray for my Mom please."
Sunday
Virginia G commented on Karen's group I miss my Mom!
"So the dr talked to my therapist and he told her the same things he told me.  I had asked her to try to get more answers.  I actually feel worse because I had someone ask some doctors about using ventilators.  The oncologist told us…"
Sunday

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