Peggy
  • Female
  • Kingston, Ontario
  • Canada
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Peggy's Friends

  • Jay Zimmermann
  • Michael
  • Kimberly
  • Joseph
  • Paula Marie
  • Lori Eckenrode
  • Shannie L.
  • Linda Engberg
  • kathleen akin
  • bluebird

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Peggy and Jay Zimmermann are now friends
Feb 8
Peggy left a comment for Jay Zimmermann
"Well Jay, unfortunately, we're all uniquely qualified to help each other out because we actually understand what it feels like to lose the most important person in your life.  I kept thinking it felt like a limb had been ripped off of my…"
Feb 8
Jay Zimmermann left a comment for Peggy
"Thank you Peggy for being so kind and understanding.  You seem to really get what it was like with me."
Feb 8
Peggy left a comment for Jay Zimmermann
"I am so very sorry for your loss Jay.  I lost my husband suddenly as well, in August 2015.  We had been together for 16 years (married for the last 6).  We weren't a same sex couple but we were married by a humanist…"
Feb 8
Peggy commented on Jon-Paul Ackerman's group Lost My Spouse...
"I received your request Michael and just sent you a note."
Dec 9, 2016
Peggy and Michael are now friends
Dec 9, 2016
Peggy commented on Jon-Paul Ackerman's group Lost My Spouse...
"Michael, I had a lot of anxiety after my husband died and my doctor put me a low dose of an anti-anxiety med for a few months.  He died in August, I was on the meds from October to March.  I asked to come off of them because I was troubled…"
Dec 9, 2016
Louise replied to Peggy's discussion Sharing this on behalf of new member Brittany in the group Traumatic, Sudden Loss
"Oh Peggy, I am so very very sorry for your loss. To lose your soulmate is a crushing pain, sometimes you feel like you can't breathe and everyday is hard. I am so sorry you are going through this. I lost my husband suddenly 2 months ago, we had…"
Dec 2, 2016
Peggy added a discussion to the group Traumatic, Sudden Loss
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Sharing this on behalf of new member Brittany

A message from Brittany to all members of Traumatic, Sudden Loss on Online Grief Support - A Social Community! Hello everyone, my name is Brittany. I am new to this and not quiet sure how this works. My therapist pointed me in this direction so i thought i would give it a try. I am 24 years old from Wisconsin. I met my boyfriend, Kyle, last March through a mutual friend. We clicked instantly. He was tall, buff and had the most amazing eyes. I felt butterflies in stomach right when i saw him.…See More
Dec 2, 2016
Peggy replied to ShingingLight1967's discussion Living in the house in the group Lost My Spouse...
"My husband died without a will but we didn't have to do probate.  I applied to be trustee of his estate (did it on my own without a lawyer, saved SO much money).  He really didn't have an estate to speak of so everything passed…"
Nov 14, 2016
Peggy replied to ShingingLight1967's discussion Living in the house in the group Lost My Spouse...
"You should do what you want to do. You should do what you know is best for you. My husband died in August 2015 and in March 2016 I sold our house.  I moved back into a much smaller house that we had (it was a rental property) and haven't…"
Oct 27, 2016
Peggy replied to Cyndi W's discussion The day my world Stopped in the group Lost My Spouse...
"I'm sorry that on top of losing your husband, you have deal with the questions and scrutiny too.  Unfortunately, there is no hand book to deal with this, any of us who have lost our spouses suddenly like you did will tell you that. …"
Oct 27, 2016
Peggy replied to Kimberly's discussion Not sure where to start here... in the group Lost My Spouse...
"Good for you.  Just focus on you and your son for now.  Everyone else can sort their own stuff out, that's not your responsibility.  I have to say, yesterday it was 14 months since Mark died and I still have a hard time believing…"
Oct 17, 2016
Peggy replied to Kimberly's discussion Not sure where to start here... in the group Lost My Spouse...
"You're right, you can't control their actions.  You can only control your reaction to them.  What I found, and what you may find helpful, was I decided to become very selfish.  I put myself first and did whatever I needed to…"
Oct 17, 2016
Peggy replied to Kimberly's discussion Not sure where to start here... in the group Lost My Spouse...
"Kimberly, I'm so sorry for your loss.  My husband died suddenly in August 2015.  I did sleep a lot afterwards, I felt lucky that I could as I know many folks suffer from insomnia.  The first few weeks after he died, I know now…"
Oct 14, 2016
Peggy replied to Maxey's discussion The Real Me is Gone! in the group Lost My Spouse...
"Barbara, it's been almost 14 months since I lost my husband.  Like you, I miss him every day and wish he were still here but I've made my peace with the face that he's not.  He's gone, he's not coming back,…"
Oct 12, 2016

Profile Information

About Me:
Dog lover (all breeds), BSL opponent, feminist, survivor, LGTBQ ally, atheist, sometimes blogger, amateur photographer, music nerd, geeky girl... I often feel like I have a long way to go and a short time to get there.
About my Loss:
My husband Mark died suddenly on Sunday, August 16, 2015. He had cancer (he died from complications caused by colon cancer which had metastasized to his liver). 8 weeks after being told he'd have 3 to 5 years he passed away. We were together for 16 years.

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Peggy's Blog

Seven Months

This was originally posted on my blog on Wednesday, March 16 - http://bit.ly/1UmVKZ6

I have been writing online/blogging since 2000. Videos and podcasts are not things I have a lot of experience with. Except for a review of a coffee maker I did over a year ago, I have never made a video of myself. I felt the urge to do this earlier this evening after I visited the other house for the last time (the sale closes tomorrow). I wasn't sure if I…

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Posted on March 18, 2016 at 12:00pm

walloped

This was originally posted yesterday on my blog, http://bit.ly/1PFYfkY

So far this winter, thank goodness, the weather has been good to us.  Before I moved back into the city, there was only one day that was a little scary as far as winter driving went.  One day between November and mid-January?  I can't complain, and I won't.  Prior to this year, I had almost no winter driving experience.  Mark always drove when the…

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Posted on February 18, 2016 at 5:30am

Five months

My husband died 5 months ago today.



For the first time since he died I am alone in our house. Earlier today I dropped my beloved doggies off to be boarded for 2 days while I move house. I cried in the van after I dropped them off. We haven't had a night apart since Mark died.



I am sitting here surrounded by chaos. Tomorrow morning I will be surrounded by dear friends and my wonderful family. They are helping me with wave one of the move (boxes and misc stuff) and movers… Continue

Posted on January 16, 2016 at 7:04pm — 2 Comments

Reflections on a shitty week



This was published earlier today on my blog (http://bit.ly/1Oud2wh).  Thought I would share it here too as it deals with death and widowhood.



I shouldn’t say that the entire week is shitty because it’s not over yet.  This leads me to wonder what next?  What other horrible news can I wake up to, tomorrow morning?  Which of my favourite musicians or actors or writers have died?  Which of my friends or relatives has…

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Posted on January 14, 2016 at 8:24pm — 3 Comments

Comment Wall (9 comments)

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At 1:51pm on February 8, 2017, Jay Zimmermann said…

Thank you Peggy for being so kind and understanding.  You seem to really get what it was like with me.

At 10:50pm on May 14, 2016, Jason said…
Thanks again I think I am going to try to sleep now hope you all have a good nite
At 10:39pm on May 14, 2016, Jason said…
Thank you very much as if it's not hard enough not talking to anyone is making it very hard I haven't got a clue what I am doing so I thank you for listening
At 9:32am on March 30, 2016, Joseph said…

Hi Peggy, thanks for the friend request. I am three weeks in today.  Lost my beautiful boy to lung cancer in just over 2 months.  We had an extraordinary relationship for more than 34 years.  I feel like the smallest most insignificant creature in the world.  A few months ago I could accomplish anything.  Today just breathing is a struggle.  Your generosity of spirit has helped a bit.  Also, sister, I grieve for your loss.  The love in his eyes is striking and the joy on your face is lovely to behold.  I hope there words are a comfort and not painful.  Keep writing and reaching out.  You are a missionary.

At 4:57pm on February 18, 2016, kathleen akin said…

Hi Peggy. thanks for the friend request. :)

At 2:07pm on December 24, 2015, Elaine Henderson said…
Thank you Peggy for reaching out....the pain is unimaginable, especially at this time of the year....appreciate your welcome message.
At 9:46am on December 14, 2015, Hilary Christene said…

Aww, Peggy. There is so much love emanating all through these pictures of your life together. Mark's eyes are so kindly and warm. Sending love your way. <3

At 1:54pm on December 10, 2015, Shannie L. said…

Peggy,

Thanks for your quick reply.  I was touched to see you'd written back so quickly.  I've never thought of cancer as a thief, but you're right.  It stole my mom and won't give her back.  Her illness was so brief and her death so quick that we didn't really "do" cancer.  No chemo, no radiation, never got plugged into the support networks.  It's kind of hard for me to relate to those who had a more typical experience with cancer death.  

Part of me considers that a blessing.  Mom hated doctors and hospitals and could not tolerate any medications.  She wouldn't even take Tylenol.  She would never have been able to endure any cancer treatment.  We knew she was sick for a year or so but the stubborn woman flat out refused to go to the doctor.  On the other hand, she might still be alive.  The second guessing kills me.  

Mom was raised Baptist and my Dad was Episcopalian growing up.  By the time I'd come along, Mom was a 70s New Ager and Dad was agnostic.  We used to go the Unitarian Church, and as a kid I would tell adults who asked that I was a Unitarian when they asked about my religion.  I grew up in a very conservative area so was often directly asked about this.  Telling people I was a Unitarian killed two birds with one stone - it was an ok response to our family's religion and since most people have no idea what a Unitarian is, and most adults weren't willing to tell a kid this, they would stop asking me questions.  

Like you, I know when people make comments about Mom being in Heaven or God having a purpose they are trying to be comforting.  Their comments come from a loving heart.  But to me, it's like nails on a chalk board at this point.  I am out at work and in my personal life as an atheist, but it still doesn't always stop the comments.  I had a co-worker/friend say to me, "Well, you believe in God now that your Mom has died, right?"  It just makes me feel more alone.  

At 12:51am on December 10, 2015, Shannie L. said…

Hi Peggy,

Hm, not sure how to start.  But I read your story and wanted to reach out to you.  Mom mother died unexpectedly on September 26, 2015.  We had just found out she had cancer 16 days before that.  We never got all the tests done to get a prognosis or final diagnosis.  She was just gone so quickly.  

Some days I do ok, but recently I have been struggling.  I, too, am an atheist, which makes grieving complicated, I think.  Not grieving, really, but finding good support, understanding support, that isn't full of things I don't believe. So, I wanted to say hi, and see if you wanted to talk.  

 
 
 

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Latest Activity

Profile IconAngela Dougall and Cindy Hand joined Online Grief Support - A Social Community
6 hours ago
Bailey Smith commented on Karen's group I miss my Mom!
"Thinking of my American friends on this site celebrating Thanksgiving. You are in my thoughts and prayers. Hugs"
yesterday
BLUEBELL commented on Karen's group I miss my Mom!
" Thank you for the big hugs and prayers Luisa. Stay safe on your journey. Thank you Theresa for reminding me that God is always with us. I will be praying for all of us as we get through this one day. Bluebell"
yesterday
Luisa Salter commented on Karen's group I miss my Mom!
"Bluebell big hugs and prayers sent your way! Big Hugs and prayers to all. I have been really irritable and emotional all week. Dealing with a lot of stress at work right now and somewhat dreading Thanksgiving. So we’re here, and Teresa’s…"
yesterday
BLUEBELL left a comment for Brett Bowman
"The holidays are coming up and the anniversary of your sweet Mother's death. How are you? Bluebell"
yesterday
Profile IconKathi, c Brielle, Cindy Linares and 2 more joined Online Grief Support - A Social Community
yesterday
Pol updated their profile
yesterday
Theresa commented on Karen's group I miss my Mom!
"So today is Thanksgiving, we will all get through this day and tomorrow will be back to normal, the next hurdle is Christmas. Its a tough month for me it will be 18 years on 12/14 for my dad and 2 years on 12/19 for my mom and my grandmom on…"
yesterday
Theresa commented on Karen's group I miss my Mom!
"Bluebell you are not alone God is right beside you always."
yesterday
Crystal K commented on Karen's group I miss my Mom!
"Let us all get through the next day and next few weeks... Been replaying videos of my mom all day.. miss her so much. First xmas without her, cant even bear to think about it."
yesterday
Sam Hayward updated their profile photo
yesterday
Sam Hayward commented on Jarvis's blog post After Death Communication
"I had a visual experience after my husband died. I was in bed at the time and could not get to sleep so I just lay on my back and stared up at the ceiling. Suddenly the room filled with a brilliant white light tinged around the edges with mauve. In…"
yesterday
BLUEBELL commented on Karen's group I miss my Mom!
"Again, thank you both for your kind words. I am feeling better already. I do not need much and I am grateful to you both for helping. Bluebell"
Thursday
BLUEBELL commented on Karen's group I miss my Mom!
"And I of you. It is good not to feel so alone. Bluebell"
Thursday
Bailey Smith commented on Karen's group I miss my Mom!
"Thinking of you Bluebell."
Thursday
Bailey Smith and BLUEBELL are now friends
Thursday
BLUEBELL commented on Karen's group I miss my Mom!
"Thank you Sherri. My best to you always Bluebell"
Thursday
Sherri commented on Karen's group I miss my Mom!
"Bluebell your in my thoughts I'm sending you a great big hug"
Thursday
BLUEBELL commented on Karen's group I miss my Mom!
"I am really hurting right now. A kind word to me would be very much appreciated. It does not have to be much. I just need to know I am not alone. Bluebell"
Thursday
BLUEBELL commented on Karen's group I miss my Mom!
"Bailey, I cannot speak for Sherri but my Mom passed away 9 months ago and I go through the same thing Bluebell"
Thursday

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