Meghan Kuhlman
  • Female
  • Virginia Beach, VA
  • United States
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When will I ever stop hurting?
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I can't take it no more. I am just completely hurt. I just want my dad back. All I think about is how my father won't see me graduate high school in June, I also think about how I won't have him to…Continue

Started this discussion. Last reply by dream moon JO B Feb 4, 2015.

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About Me:
I am only 18 years old and just recently lost my father from cancer.
About my Loss:
I was daddy's little girl, it hurts so bad not having him with me. He found out he had cancer 2 month before he past away.
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At 8:39am on February 21, 2015, Fran said…

Just wondering how you're doing Meghan. You're in my thoughts and prayers.

At 4:33pm on February 4, 2015, Fran said…

Meghan,

No matter what any of us say, no matter what anyone says, you ARE going to hurt and in some ways that's ok. It means you really loved your dad. It sounds like he loved you just as much since he relied on you to help him, esp. thru those last months. It sounds like you were very close. He would want you to go to school and do the very best you can so you can graduate. You need to make him proud! It won't be easy. Many days it's all you can do to get out of bed, much less go to school....but, if he were alive,I'm betting he would urge you to go to school. Do you have plans for after graduation? College? A job?

At 6:53pm on February 2, 2015, Roger said…

Hi Meghan, I am so sorry for the loss of your Dad. My wife passed away February 9, 2013. Two years in a few days. She was diagnosed with breast cancer in 2007. Had surgery and chemo, radiation therapy. We had hopes it was all behind us. But in January 2010 it showed up again. This time in her spine. The next 3 years were a almost constant array of chemo,( she had 8 different kinds) surgeries and more radiation. They would try one chemo for several months. When it stopped working, they would put her on the next one. Each one we had such hope that it would halt the cancers spread. However with each new scan, it had spread to some where else. Some women can live many years, even though they are stage iv. However hers, like your Dads was aggressive.  It's unimaginable to me that at your young age losing your Dad.  I too struggle with the " WHY" question. I have heard it said, That the why question. Will go unanswered on earth and unasked in heaven. That we will know the answer immediately when we get there. I will pray that God will comfort you. Fill you with the certainty that your Dad is watching you from heaven. Pleased that you are his daughter

At 6:12pm on February 2, 2015, Fran said…

Meghan,

You have my deepest sympathies!

My daughter is 23. She lost her father Nov. 6, 2014. He was diagnosed with lung cancer in March. Her reaction has been anger. She's mad that he was diagnosed and that he died. She was his "Princess". She watched him wither from a hale 230 lb, 6 foot man down to 155 lbs when he died. It's been very difficult for her.

My son is 25. His reaction has been to do everything his father did. To be the repairer of all that breaks. To maintain the house in addition to working...He took over his father's office, so that he can surround himself with memories.

Everyone reacts differently to death. You have the right to hurt. You have the right to cry. You have the right to be angry. Hopefully, with time, the pain won't be so sharp. Just know that you are not alone. Talk about your dad, to your family and friends. Encourage them to talk about him, share memories. Other people might not know how to talk with you, so you may need to lead them. Don't shut yourself off! You need to continue to "live". You would do him a great dis-service to give up. Honor and show how much you love your dad by being the best YOU you can be.

 
 
 

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