Megan
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About my Loss:
I had just turned 23 years of age when my mom was diagnosed with liver cancer. She was only 57 years young. I remember the day she called me crying and said "I have liver cancer baby" and I just responded with silence at first then I spoke "Its okay we are going to fight mom"...I took care of her. I could see her deteriorate from the chemotherapy and the cancer spreading. I remember having an awful feeling the day she was told chemotherapy isn't working anymore and that theres nothing more they could do and in home hospice would take over from here. Her eyes and skin were so yellow from jaundice. She passed away 3 weeks later. She was such a fighter. She was still working 3 weeks before she died. She slept with me in my bed so I could monitor her and we would listen to a song she loved every night holding hands. I did everything by myself. I did not have support from my family. They are so mean to me. Always have been. I remember my mom was outside the front on the stairs sitting down with me and she cried because she didnt want to leave me in this world alone because she knew how mean they were to me. She was more worried about me than herself. She did absolutely everything for everybody. I was the last person she saw when she passed. She woke up and just did a grunt/yell and looked into my eyes and a tear fell down her cheek and I wiped it and she started breathing slowly 4 times and then she just stopped. I love her so much and I miss her so much and I feel stuck with grieving...I can't stop thinking about her..I remember asking her when we were in the car if she knew she was going to have cancer if she would have still had me and she said yes because I love you so much. I don't talk much about this to anyone.. In fact I avoid it but I need some support..in some way.

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Speed Weasel posted a blog post

Assumptions

An assumption is an unexamined belief: what is thought to be true without ever really realizing that we think in that way. For better or worse, understanding starts with entertaining the idea that something is true.  Truly profound thoughts generally come to light from the relaxation of these (flawed) assumptions.  This is where I find myself today...Perhaps, one of the more significant drivers to pushing down the loss and grief at the time of the accident, ignoring it and mindlessly walking…See More
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Mar 13
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Speed Weasel posted a video

Sun Keeps Risin'

Provided to YouTube by The Orchard EnterprisesSun Keeps Risin' · Lissie · Elisabeth Corrin Maurus · Martin CraftMy Wild West℗ 2015 Lionboy RecordsReleased on...
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Speed Weasel posted a blog post

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