Lisa S
  • Female
  • Murrieta, CA
  • United States
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  • Amy Gregory
  • Ashley Nicole

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About Me:
I am a 43 year old wife and mom to 2 kids (16 & 13)
About my Loss:
Mine is a unique situation. My father committed suicide when I was 21 (convicted rapist), my mother and I have had a strained relationship since she sent me to live with my father at the age of 12. I met my "true" parents at the age of 18 when I met my future mother and father in-law. They were the most supporitive, loving parents I could have ever dreamed of. And they were the best grandparents any grandchild could ask for. Our life was not perfect, but very rich in love, support and friendship. In 2006, after a 6 month battle with colon cancer, my father in law passed at the "youthful" age of 67. In 2009, after a 12 month battle with Uterine cancer, my mother in law passed at the "youthful" age of 67. They were both in EXCELLENT health and so happy in their life with us and their 2 sons, 2 daughter in laws, and 3 grand kids. They were my kids full time day care providers while my husband and I were at work (by their choice - they would not have it any other way). They were our friends, we often dinnered together and planned every vacation together. My mother in law was also my best friend and closest ally...she was the "mom" I never had. My sadness and grief is so child like, it is overwhelming at times. My husband and brother in law are having just as hard of a time even after the years that have passed. They show it more in anger. I don't feel that there is anyone that really understands, friends don't even ask anymore about it. I am in the process of reading The Orphaned Adult, which has really helped me to feel sane. My husband and I agree that we feel like we have also lost precious years of our childrens young lives as we have tried to numb ourselves to get through the severe sense of loss we feel. I am a logical person, and I know that we all will die. Why is it so hard to just be thankful for the time we were so blessed. That is what my mind tells me, but my heart just can't seem to adjust.

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Latest Activity

Speed Weasel posted a blog post

Assumptions

An assumption is an unexamined belief: what is thought to be true without ever really realizing that we think in that way. For better or worse, understanding starts with entertaining the idea that something is true.  Truly profound thoughts generally come to light from the relaxation of these (flawed) assumptions.  This is where I find myself today...Perhaps, one of the more significant drivers to pushing down the loss and grief at the time of the accident, ignoring it and mindlessly walking…See More
Mar 13
Profile IconCari Jo Converse, Jennifer and James D. Thornsberry joined Online Grief Support - A Social Community
Mar 13
Profile IconMarina Dsouza, Leah, Sandra M Aaron and 5 more joined Online Grief Support - A Social Community
Mar 5
esther joined HollowHeart's group
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Sibling Loss

This group is for anyone that has lost a brother or sister. Sibling loss is often minimized and people don't realize how devastating losing a sibling can be. I lost my older sister and my life will never be the same. She was my only sibling, I looked up to her, I went to her for everything. I lost my past, present and future. It is traumatic.See More
Mar 4
Speed Weasel posted a video

Sun Keeps Risin'

Provided to YouTube by The Orchard EnterprisesSun Keeps Risin' · Lissie · Elisabeth Corrin Maurus · Martin CraftMy Wild West℗ 2015 Lionboy RecordsReleased on...
Feb 26
Speed Weasel posted a blog post

Triggers Continue to Surface

Late February is a challenging time of year for me.  Jen’s birthday is the 23rd and serves as an annual reminder of all of the potential that was lost…Her’s (mainly), mine, the world’s honestly.  This year she would be 52…It is increasingly hard to imagine, through all of the iterations possible, what she could have become, what was to be her (significant) impact on the world.That being said, things, emotions, have largely settled down since I committed a potential version of what could have…See More
Feb 15
Michelle joined Gyla Lynn Darden's group
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Loss of a child In memory of my son or daughter

This group focuses on healing ourselves and each other over the death of a child and welcomes a Christian atmosphere to help with the healing process. I welcome all of those grieving.See More
Feb 8
Tammy McLaughlin and Rosie are now friends
Jan 30

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