"My daughter, Shelby, died 15 Feb 2017 of an overdose from a variety of opiods. These things are so dangerous, and it's so easy to get them. Since i've been in Canada, my ex wasn't even going to let me know she'd died,…"
"Tomorrow will be one month since I lost my 2nd brother to a drug overdose. My youngest brother overdosed in Oct 2014. I keep pretending to all that I am okay, holding it together for my parents and my daughter but I am so far from okay. I am so…"
"I am so sorry for everyones loss. In 2009 I lost my 32 year old daughter to a heroin overdose. My path of grief recovery has been long and sad, if there is such a thing as recovery. My first year I was suicidal. Because I am a writer, I have…"
Sara's dad's girfriend called me and read off a list of songs they want to play during the memorial. All were good and I added Stairway to Heaven. I also wanted to make sure that Over the Rainbow by IZ was on there. I have played it so many times that I know it by heart. Her dad is doing the eulegy and giving those who want a chance to say something the time to do that. I want to speak but dont know how I will feel then. I hurt more than I thought I did. Thiss is so painful.
Hospice has been so helpful. Sara is now on Morphine and is finally in no pain. She is resting comfortabely and able to sleep. It is now just a matter of time as her organs have begun to start going into failure. The wait is tortuous. I think I have been blocking out the pain and I feel like I might crumble soon. I want to thank you for your support and comfort.
Thank you Laura. I am on an anti depressant and have anxiety pills that I only take when absolutly necessary. I too am not a religious person but I am a spirtual one. I send you my prayers, love, and light.
Hi Laura, I thank you for your concern and am sorry that it took so long to ger back to you. I am sorry for your pain as well. The meeting with Hospice went as well as could be expected. Sara's dad and stepmother were there as well as myself and my son. They are going to make it as comfortable as they can and have several people involved in her care. We were told that at this point her organs have begun to shut down but they give us no timeframe. I am grateful for Hospice as they are a wonderful organization. Sara too was so far into her addictions that no one could help her. When she had that final asthma attack her lungs were so tight that the medics could not get a tube down for oxygen to go in. We were told that the drugs that she took that night made it impossible for her to get through it as the drugs caused such as they depressed of body and the ability for her body to take the attack. When it happened she screamed for me and I went to her she was trying to breathe with her breathing machine and wasn't getting any air. She said I'm dying, I'm dying and and I had already called 911. Then she looked at me and told me she loved me and fell into my arms. The squad got there then and they couldn't revive her. They started chest compressions and kept it up all the way to the hospital which allowed a tiny bit of air into her lungs but she was basically without oxygen for over ten minutes. They still have her on a ventiator and a feeding tube. As far as brain activity, she is still in the coma and cannot get by without the vent and feeding tube. She can't see and probably can't hear. I know that hearing is the last sense to go but there is no sign of her hearing. Her organs are shutting down but I don't know how long it will take until she goes. I have be mourning since the day it happened and now I feel like I am stone. I have panic attacks all of the time. I don't know why I feel like it's not real. Everyone says I am so strong but I'm not. Thank you for listening to me and for being interested.
Hey Laura, you are welcome. I didn't write it but I found it on another site. When I first found it, I printed copies and handed them out to many people I knew.....especially the ones that kept asking me if I was "ok" or over my son yet!
Hi Laura, I'm off to meet with Hospice and I am scared. I know it will be okay but I am nervous. I do have a list of questions for them so I will know better as to what to expect. Just wanted to update you and I will let you know what happened later.
We have already had expert after expert and they all say that she just wouldn't be there. If they could strap her into a chair she would not be able to function, think, talk or do anything pertaining to any form of life. She is just a shell of her former self. She is wasting away as she is so thin and has lost so much weight. It has come down for me that I want to let her go mercifully. He dad struggles with this. He doesn't want her to have to go on like this but he has a hard time with finallity. He says, and he is right, that she would not want this. She was without oxygen for over ten minutes and just isn't there. She would never come back in any form. We will talk with Hospice tomorrow and I have a list of questions for them. I am sure this will help. I do know that if we took her off of the ventilator she would have to be moved to another facility as the nuring home she is in doesn't do that. But that's not really here nor there. You have quickly become a blessing to me.
Thank you Laura for your compassionate comment. No, there is no greater pain than losing a child. My daughter, Sara, has no chance of recovery at all. I have been grieving since this happened on Dec. 15, 2013. There is very little or no brain activity at all. Hospice is meeting with the family tomorrow to discuss our options. I am scared even thought I know what is best for Sara. I will be praying for you.
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Welcome to Online Grief Support - A Social Community
Our group is run through Kaiser and we meet every week. It helps. I am actually thinking about individual counseling as well. Today was a really rough day. I do know I have to come to work. Working from home I just want to…"
I have been thinking about you and getting a job. How is that going? I think I remember you saying that you had to leave your job because they did not give you enough time off when your husband died? Of course I do not want to over step…"
How often do you have meetings?
I found a group but they only meet eery 3 weeks. I am not sure yet.
Thank you for sharing your daughter's experience. Steve's daughter was really grieving at the beginning but now she only…"
"Went to the 2nd session of support group. Grief is grief and hurts no matter what the loss. It hurts, you feel alone. I have learned one thing from group is we are not alone. There are 2 different groups those that are…"
"I had that feeling when my nephew called me and told me his brother had killed himself one year after my brother (their father) died. It was a weird sensation I have never felt before. From the top of my head all the way to my feet just a rush of ?…"
I just found some thought that actually explains how I feel now:
Sounds familiar? Grieving and trying to be nice, crying and smiling to look nice next minute...
It is a great movie anyway - watch when you can."
"Thank you, Jackie.
Those horrible panic attacks just visit us often. Suddenly the whole world is turning black and no oxygen anymore.
Jackie, I accept you as acting Steve - I hope he does not mind - and I really appreciate your support - I know you…"
"Hi, Kim. Please don't feel sorry about discussing different topics; it's how our minds work and your words are a comfort to so many. Just knowing someone feels the same, hurts the same, has the same inner voice... the empty bed, the…"
"I try not come on here in the early morning as I start work early so I can go home early. That was my routine. We would get up in the morning, have a cup of coffee and I would go off to work. I looked forward to going home a little…"
"Nora, you are a beautiful women with a beautiful heart. Steve loved you very much but remember you were a success before you met him and not because of him. We need to give ourselves time to grieve it's only been 3 months, who knows if we will…"
"Ladies, I just had one more pain caused by simple actions that I even did not pay attention to before.
Well, I sat to start looking for a job. It was already hard as I have a "meeting people & leaving the house" anxiety. Also, it…"
"I too feel exactly as everyone here has discribed it. Four months in.. Lost the love of my life. I feeling like the walking dead.. I function because I am expected to. I go to work because I haven't any choice. I have to sell my house.( for…"
Having a glass of wine for my mom tonight and trying to wrap my head around the fact that she's been gone for a year. A whole year. A year without daily emails just so I'd wake up to an email every morning. A year without daily Skype chats just to catch up even though nothing much ever changed. A year without an e-card for every random holiday. A year without hearing about the dumb things my dad was or wasn't doing. A year without my best friend. A year without my mom.See More
I am the producer of a nationally televised crime docu-series. I am currently developing a new series focusing on unsolved cold cases, where the perpetrator is known but remains uncharged, many times because they are already in prison for life for another crime. That should not deter anyone else from getting justice. We will bring in outside, independent cold case detectives to rework cases to see if we can help. The series will underscore the hope, strength and tenacity of the families and…See More
"I really hate to reply to this thread as I am four years and almost five months into the loss of the love of my life and I can hardly stand the roller coaster I am on. I am careening off the tracks "again" and I come here to reassure…"
"Thank you all for the kind support here. It does help. I too feel lost at time. This morning I was up at 3:30 watching TV; my alarm goes off at 4:45, no sense in trying to go back to sleep. Like some one else said on here, my…"
"Hi Kim, your not alone, as Nora's says every word you say matches how I feel. I have lost my best friend, soul mate, partner, my lover. Now I'm alone with my dog and cat. OVer 70 people and the funeral but none of them ring or call. People…"