"Thank you for taking the time to read. My name is Danielle and at 22 years old I had thought I met the man of my dreams. Sure he had a past run in with drugs but he was going through a divorce, had a daughter and I excepted him for the person he…"
"i've been in NC now, for a lil over three weeks. i just got back from the tree lighting/holiday parade for the community here, and i had a really tough time. All i had to do was sit down and Shelby's death hit me all over…"
"About four days left here in Canada, for me. My current husband knows of all my feelings regarding my need to get back to North Carolina, so i can try to reconnect with my son, and visit with my grandson--make sure he's safe and doing…"
Sara's dad's girfriend called me and read off a list of songs they want to play during the memorial. All were good and I added Stairway to Heaven. I also wanted to make sure that Over the Rainbow by IZ was on there. I have played it so many times that I know it by heart. Her dad is doing the eulegy and giving those who want a chance to say something the time to do that. I want to speak but dont know how I will feel then. I hurt more than I thought I did. Thiss is so painful.
Hospice has been so helpful. Sara is now on Morphine and is finally in no pain. She is resting comfortabely and able to sleep. It is now just a matter of time as her organs have begun to start going into failure. The wait is tortuous. I think I have been blocking out the pain and I feel like I might crumble soon. I want to thank you for your support and comfort.
Thank you Laura. I am on an anti depressant and have anxiety pills that I only take when absolutly necessary. I too am not a religious person but I am a spirtual one. I send you my prayers, love, and light.
Hi Laura, I thank you for your concern and am sorry that it took so long to ger back to you. I am sorry for your pain as well. The meeting with Hospice went as well as could be expected. Sara's dad and stepmother were there as well as myself and my son. They are going to make it as comfortable as they can and have several people involved in her care. We were told that at this point her organs have begun to shut down but they give us no timeframe. I am grateful for Hospice as they are a wonderful organization. Sara too was so far into her addictions that no one could help her. When she had that final asthma attack her lungs were so tight that the medics could not get a tube down for oxygen to go in. We were told that the drugs that she took that night made it impossible for her to get through it as the drugs caused such as they depressed of body and the ability for her body to take the attack. When it happened she screamed for me and I went to her she was trying to breathe with her breathing machine and wasn't getting any air. She said I'm dying, I'm dying and and I had already called 911. Then she looked at me and told me she loved me and fell into my arms. The squad got there then and they couldn't revive her. They started chest compressions and kept it up all the way to the hospital which allowed a tiny bit of air into her lungs but she was basically without oxygen for over ten minutes. They still have her on a ventiator and a feeding tube. As far as brain activity, she is still in the coma and cannot get by without the vent and feeding tube. She can't see and probably can't hear. I know that hearing is the last sense to go but there is no sign of her hearing. Her organs are shutting down but I don't know how long it will take until she goes. I have be mourning since the day it happened and now I feel like I am stone. I have panic attacks all of the time. I don't know why I feel like it's not real. Everyone says I am so strong but I'm not. Thank you for listening to me and for being interested.
Hey Laura, you are welcome. I didn't write it but I found it on another site. When I first found it, I printed copies and handed them out to many people I knew.....especially the ones that kept asking me if I was "ok" or over my son yet!
Hi Laura, I'm off to meet with Hospice and I am scared. I know it will be okay but I am nervous. I do have a list of questions for them so I will know better as to what to expect. Just wanted to update you and I will let you know what happened later.
We have already had expert after expert and they all say that she just wouldn't be there. If they could strap her into a chair she would not be able to function, think, talk or do anything pertaining to any form of life. She is just a shell of her former self. She is wasting away as she is so thin and has lost so much weight. It has come down for me that I want to let her go mercifully. He dad struggles with this. He doesn't want her to have to go on like this but he has a hard time with finallity. He says, and he is right, that she would not want this. She was without oxygen for over ten minutes and just isn't there. She would never come back in any form. We will talk with Hospice tomorrow and I have a list of questions for them. I am sure this will help. I do know that if we took her off of the ventilator she would have to be moved to another facility as the nuring home she is in doesn't do that. But that's not really here nor there. You have quickly become a blessing to me.
Thank you Laura for your compassionate comment. No, there is no greater pain than losing a child. My daughter, Sara, has no chance of recovery at all. I have been grieving since this happened on Dec. 15, 2013. There is very little or no brain activity at all. Hospice is meeting with the family tomorrow to discuss our options. I am scared even thought I know what is best for Sara. I will be praying for you.
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Welcome to Online Grief Support - A Social Community
I am so sorry for your loss. The journey of caregiving is extremely difficult. The loss of our especially loved dear ones is unspeakable.
There are so many different ideas about what happens to us when we die. Religion teaches many different…"
"I just feel like I am in a fog. I have a little dog that is at least ten years old. She adored my Mom & she has really grieved for her. I know how you feel about your dog. I worry about her. She is all I have. …"
"Me too Brett, I sit here an look at my 12 year old Labrador and I know he is on borrowed time, and my heart breaks, losing him will be something that I am not looking forward to.
As you said Brett, we have the live our lives until we are called…"
"Yes, I was looking at something that popped up on my Yahoo news feed. It was an article naming 106 celebrities who have passed away in 2019. So many names and faces that I remembered. Now they are gone, and they aren't coming back. Their time…"
"Brett so true she was my security blanket
I feel like I have no one to lean on that understood me like her
You know what keeps coming in my mind. How true it is and scary that everything has a beginning and an end."
"I hear it all the time you don’t know how lucky you were that your mother wasn’t sick and you didn’t have to take care of her I say to them lucky I was lucky that my mother died and I was not right by her side to tell her I love…"
"M, the problem is that our security blankets were ripped away.
Like you, sometimes I am glad to be sad. I feel like I am closer to my mom when I am crying. At least, her memory is fresher with me when I am in that zone.
I feel like the hard reality…"
"Theresa, millions, billions of people have lost their moms. Sometimes someone will tell me that they have lost their mom, too, but they were able to deal with it, and they wonder why I haven't dealt with it as well. This may sound like an…"
"Me too ...I was sitting marking a paper yesterday and suddenly realized that I can’t see or talk to my mother about this or anything else and the tears came. But I’m glad to think of her, in a way I can be glad to be sad sometimes.…"
"I sometimes will just be sitting down and I start to cry because I keep thinking I miss my mom so much my whole world is just not the same I think that I’ve become a different person it will be four years and I still cry
I can’t put into…"
"Definitely a colder world now. I like the image of the security blanket — like, as we go forward, we will always keep it but eventually may be able to wash it, fold it nicely, and put it in some place of honour close at hand but without…"
"It is such a traumatic event, especially when you have had a wonderful Mom. It is so hard knowing she is gone. Knowing this is permanent. There is no one that can fill the void she left. My brother was close to Mom, but he…"
Cherie is now a member of Online Grief Support - A Social Community
"While I never forget that my mom is gone, for some reason it just hits me over the head sometimes. Just out of the blue I'll be like, "Mom is gone." It's horrible. It's ever present. And the thing is that it is always with…"
"My Mom also. I could always talk to her about anything & knew she was someone I could totally trust. I am constantly thinking of something I want to share with her & then I remember she is gone. I loved spending time with…"