Lani M.
  • Female
  • Arcadia, CA
  • United States
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Latest Activity

William Gardener left a comment for Lani M.
"Hello lani I am sorry about your loss and would like to know you better?     I pm’ed you already "
Jul 6, 2020
Lani M. commented on Jon-Paul Ackerman's group Lost My Spouse...
"I lost my husband 7 1/2 months ago and it seems like a lifetime ago. I understand and share the pain and loss that most of you feel and I wish I could be with my lost love, too. I know that I will join him again but in the meantime I know that I am…"
Jun 25, 2020
Lani M. commented on Jon-Paul Ackerman's group Lost My Spouse...
"I know Christmas is hard on all of us who have lost our beloved spouse but I try to keep in mind that they are in a good and beautiful place. I know that someday I will join Jim when God is done with me here on Earth. I truly believe that I have…"
Dec 25, 2019
morgan left a comment for Lani M.
"Lani, You have hit the nail we all wanted to miss.  Nothing can hurt this bad.  Nothing.  I could never have imagined I would be as devastated, and for as long, as I have been.  I have yet to be able to reconcile the anguish.…"
Dec 1, 2019
Lani M. joined Jon-Paul Ackerman's group
Dec 1, 2019
Joe Kelly left a comment for Lani M.
"Lani, I wish I could give some comforting advice, but I know it's going to be hard.  I lost my wife Jan. 21, 2018 to cancer. Join the "Lost My Spouse" group and read through some of the posts there.  We share our feelings of…"
Dec 1, 2019
Lani M. left a comment for Lani M.
"How do I handle the holidays alone for the first time in 45 years?"
Nov 30, 2019
Lani M. is now a member of Online Grief Support - A Social Community
Nov 9, 2019

Profile Information

About Me:
I am a 68 year old retired rodeo photographer
About my Loss:
I lost my husband and life partner to cancer on Oct. 31. We had been married for 43 years and had never been apart for more than a week in all that time. I miss him so much and it hurts like nothing I have ever known.

Comment Wall (4 comments)

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At 3:04am on July 6, 2020, William Gardener said…

Hello lani I am sorry about your loss and would like to know you better?

    I pm’ed you already 

At 11:49pm on December 1, 2019, morgan said…

Lani,

You have hit the nail we all wanted to miss.  Nothing can hurt this bad.  Nothing.  I could never have imagined I would be as devastated, and for as long, as I have been.  I have yet to be able to reconcile the anguish.  I don't understand how its possible to be so shattered when I was living a life with joy and happiness, comfort and contentment.  The early years of grieving are so raw and will consume your strength daily.  No one really wants to admit it but there is no timeline for when the pain is supposed to ease. When you experience the pain of the greatest loss ever it is impossible to describe to anyone who has never lost their spouse and had a good marriage.  Here we know the pain.  We are all too familiar with it.  Each of us are in a different timeline but I can advise you to not expect too much of yourself.  As for the holidays, it depends. 

My husband was diagnosed with stage 4 on the day after Xmas so I've just decided it is easier for me not to celebrate the season, at all.  I have no children so I have no obligatory events to go to.  Even so I still spend from before Thanksgiving up through the end of January when he died, crying and trying to bear with the noise of everyone else who still have something to celebrate.

Just go easy on yourself.  Dont do anything you don't want to do  Don't feel pressure.  Hang onto what Joe says if you can...... "(your husband)will be there for you when your time comes and you both will spend eternity in joyful bliss."  Just keep telling yourself that over and over and over.  And do whatever you can to distract yourself from thinking.  Its about the only way to get through the moments of each day.  We all post periodically and come here to read.  You may end up doing the same thing.  But guaranteed each of us know your pain and we are all sorry you have had to find us here.......

morgan

At 2:20pm on December 1, 2019, Joe Kelly said…

Lani,

I wish I could give some comforting advice, but I know it's going to be hard.  I lost my wife Jan. 21, 2018 to cancer. Join the "Lost My Spouse" group and read through some of the posts there.  We share our feelings of grief and hopes of someday being reunited with our Loves when it's our time to join them.  That will happen someday.  Believe it.  He is still with you but in a different realm that we can't see.  Trust that he is watching over you and will be there for you when your time comes and you both will spend eternity in joyful bliss.

Joe

 

At 11:01pm on November 30, 2019, Lani M. said…
How do I handle the holidays alone for the first time in 45 years?
 
 
 

Latest Activity

Liv replied to Liv's discussion New to this severity of grief
"Hi everyone, sorry I haven't written in a while. I've needed to express my feelings so many times this week, but somehow I've been at a total loss for words. I guess I should start at the beginning. A week ago, I moved in to my dorm…"
1 hour ago
Robyn P Bass is now a member of Online Grief Support - A Social Community
3 hours ago
Diana, Grief Recovery Coach replied to Ninja's discussion Guided Meditation Zoom Meeting
"You get a big thumbs up from me and I will attend.  "
9 hours ago
Nicky updated their profile
9 hours ago
Nicky replied to Ninja's discussion Guided Meditation Zoom Meeting
"Hello.....Ninja, I would be interested for sure depending on how long the meditation would be. Great idea btw, and thx for offering this. "
9 hours ago
Nicky commented on Diana, Grief Recovery Coach's group Zoom Grief Support
"Good article Diana. I feel blessed that I had a job with a small agency and the staff were supportive and amazing. Even tho this is true, maybe eventually things could have Turned out differently. But because I was in a car crash 8 months after my…"
9 hours ago
Penny Caywood commented on Diana, Grief Recovery Coach's group I love my Dad.
"The relationship with my father was more than strained, for many years. I came from a dysfunctional family that is over 5 miles long. I hated my father for years. I don't want to get into the specifics as to why. Let's just say, "The…"
11 hours ago
Penny Caywood joined Diana, Grief Recovery Coach's group
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I love my Dad.

For everyone that has lost their Dad.
11 hours ago

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