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Kirsti lisa michels
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hi tammy,
im so sorry for your loss,melanoma is nasty cancer,ive been looking to talk to someone who has been through this too! i watched my mum go through it for 5 years and she passed away this past feburary,im only 19 and she was only 45 and its…
This is for anyone who has lost somone to cancer. I lost my adopted Mom to breast cancer some years ago. She was everything I could have asked for. She loved me because I was just me. She also loved my family and children as if they were her own.
i lost my mum nearly a year ago to cancer,i was her carer for her last few months,always with her,i new she was bad but i never thought she would actually die,even when i saw a document from her doctor saying she has less then 3 months i still didnt…
If you have that hole in your heart that you get when you lose the woman that you shared a body with....
Profile Information
- About my Loss:
- i lost my mum to metastatic melanoma not long ago,its coming up to the first anniversery of her death! i was 18 when i lost her,i knew she was really sick but i just never thought she would actually die i just always though nah stuff like this doesnt happen to us she will be fine because she is my mum and she as to be fine.... in the last months of her life i wasnt working and became her carer,doing things a 18 year old shoulnt be doing,but i did it because i love her, me and my brothers and dad slept at the hospital the night before she died, my poor dad had to wake me and my brothers up by saying "your mother is gone" i thought i was dreaming i started yelling out "no,no she is not,no,no" but there she was in her hospital bed no longer breathing. ever since that day i have changed,i feel empty, and i cry alot,when i think of what happend i get so mad and take it out on other people. i just dont understand why this happend! i miss her so much she was the head of this family,she always had all the answers,and now i can just tell my dad is so lost,my brothers never speak about what happened, i just wish she was here to make it all better. i try really hard to warn my friends and family about the dangers of the sun and always tell them to put sunscreen on but they either dont take me seriously,and one of my friends even laughs at me when i tell her too. i dont understand how people can see how sick my mum was and that she died from this and not take it seriously! .. im just so mad and so lost,i need my mum she is suppossed to be here to see me and my brothers grow up,this just isnt fair!
Comment Wall (4 comments)
- At 5:46am on January 26, 2010,
Rochelle Kramer said…
- I dont know how it is to have to take care of others after my mom passed. But, I can feel your pain. I lost my mom at 17, its been 3 years and I still have trouble dealing. I know how it is to be confused, not able to sleep, stressed, no one to turn to. its fustrating. Especially when you have friends saying that they are there for you but when you try talking about it, the room gets quiet, they get weird. I know how it feels to be too young to be going through this. 1 year is still pretty fresh. I am hoping that you get something from this...but what I've learned is to take the good with the bad....and seriously TAKE the good. you deserve it! im sure your mom would want you to enjoy the good in life.
- At 12:07am on January 22, 2010,
beverly ann hurst said… - i know what you're going through. i held my mother's hand,while she took her last breathe. i want to say things will get better in time,but i haven'tgot to that stage yet.i'm sorry for your lose. may god spend be with you.
- At 10:45am on January 10, 2010,
Diane Lamas said…
- Dear Kirsti,
I can only imagine how difficult it must be to have lost your mum at such a young age. My mom passed recently, on Nov. 22nd at the age of 81, and she had many conditions which put her at risk but still it was a real shock when it happened. And it does leave a big hole as our mom's are the one person who has been with us from the moment of our conception.
Your Mom is with you still but she is not in a body like we are anymore, so she isn't suffering anymore, but those left behind are.
I may not be able to say much to you that will help your pain right now, but you aren't alone, so many people have lost their mom's and others that they love and need so much. Sometimes it's hard but one thing I've learned is that it's important to try and think positively and not let yourself fall into a negative spiral, and I know it's hard not to have it happen sometimes, but perhaps talking to a bereavement counselor will help and also know that you are stronger than you think you are and so are your dad and your brothers. It is just going to take time and please give yourself the time and be gentle with yourself as much as possible.
Perhaps in a bereavement group you may find a young person like yourself who is going through the same thing and together you may be able to help each other get through this time. Just try to remember your Mum doesn't want you to be sad or to suffer, but she is no longer suffering and that is one good thing out of it all.
I hope I have helped in some small way. Please take care of yourself and know that your Mum's love is shining down on you now and always just like always. You can picture it shining down on you as a beauiful golden light that goes with you everywhere.
Hugs,
Diane
- At 10:40am on January 10, 2010,
Money Jensen said…
- I'm sorry for your loss. i was 19 when my mother and sister passed. i felt the same way, lost and angry at the world. It will take a long time to feel somewhat normal again. i hope that you too can regain some of your sanity it took a long while for me to not be so moody. it's hard to lose a parent so young. if you would like to talk email me any time.
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Latest Activity
why do we have to go through such bad times with grief. i miss my doug and all his funny little sayings that put a smile on your face he was truly a beatiful person inside and out life is just never going to br right again its been 5mo and i feel li…
Just to keep you all posted I am still heartbroken over the loss of my husband, Dan, and I still have crying spells, sadness, lonliness, depression and the pain of a breaking heart. I try not to think of him, I just wish I knew if I am doing a good…
Hi,
I am so sorry for your loss as well. He was so young to have gone through this and it hasn't even been a month but it's good you found this support group so soon. May God be always with you and your family and give you strength and peace in some…
We lost our little Kai Pie a few days after his first birthday. Kai was delivered 14 weeks early. After 11 months in the NICU, he was finally was ready to come home, but in hindsight, the steroids were already turning on him. Kai was only home for a…
For all of us that are suffering the loss a son or daughter.
For seventeen months, Sherry came into our home each weekday. She made Len’s breakfast and lunch. She made sure he took his meds. She helped him clean up and dress. She massaged. She made him stand up and walk around the couch. She laundered and cha…
Hello Lisa - People who have not lost there soul mate have no idea what we are going through and can be so insensitive. It has been 2 months since Vern has died and I tried to show people that I have gotten it together but then I had a melt down at…
Hello, I'm so sorry for your loss, my son experienced a similar situation, he was 26 years old, and passed away on February 24, 2010, he also had esophgeal cancer and was diagnosed in August of 2008. I feel your pain, my child his gone, my first bor…
At the age of 61, my husband passed away on January 22, 2010 from complications of esophageal cancer. I say that because the first 28 radiation treatments he got in 2008 got rid of the esophageal cancer but he had a reoccurance on the area between h…
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How to Write an Obituary How to Write a Eulogy Find A Grave Twinless Twins Dead or Alive Hospice My Loving Tribute Writing through Cancer
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Healing Grief Support
One year of writing and healing at a glance
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Books
To One In Sorrow
Let me come in where you are weeping, friend,
And let me take your hand.
I, who have known a sorrow such as yours, can understand.
Let me come in--I would be very still beside you in your grief;
I would not bid you cease your weeping, friend,
Tears bring relief. Let me come in--and hold your hand,
For I have known a sorrow such as yours, And understand.
-Grace Noll Crowell
And let me take your hand.
I, who have known a sorrow such as yours, can understand.
Let me come in--I would be very still beside you in your grief;
I would not bid you cease your weeping, friend,
Tears bring relief. Let me come in--and hold your hand,
For I have known a sorrow such as yours, And understand.
-Grace Noll Crowell
The Light Beyond
Living your life backwards
Ben's first duty as a new pastor was to conduct a funeral service for Albert, a man who had died in his eighties. Since he didn't know the deceased, he invited members of the congregation to say a few kind words about Albert. No one budged. "Many of you knew Albert for years," Ben prompted them. "Surely someone can say something nice." After an uncomfortable pause, a voice from the back of the room said,...Bereavement Overload - Coping With Multiple Losses
How can anyone cope with the death of more than one family member when those deaths occur in a short period of time? What happens to the person who is grieving the death of a loved one, then loses a job, and has to move from their home or apartment because of financial conditions? Multiple losses occur more frequently than most people realize and they can complicate the mourning process. To begin with, it is...7 powerful ways to deal with grief
An interesting article just came in from the singer and songwriter Barbara Lewis, and I though it was so helpful to those coping with the loss of a loved one that I am reproducing it here: As a long-time performer - singer/songwriter - many events from my private life have appeared in songs. When my brother took his own life, and many years later, when my beloved husband of thirty years suddenly died, I brought...How to find the perfect funeral poem
Reading poems at a funeral can provide comfort to those who are suffering from the the loss of a loved one. Poets have the gift of being able to use words to give expression to the most sublime sentiments of the heart, and many of the most famous poets in history have used their talents to write about death and dying. Some poems about death can be dark, with emphasis on the misery of the...Losing my wife during child birth and looking after my 4 young children
My name is Steve Carter and I live in Glengormley Northern Ireland. I am writing to you today to tell you my story about my lovely wife and my fantastic children. I find writing this helps me through the heart ache and pain that I have suffered over the last 10 months. This is my story... I met my wife Denise while we were both travelling around the world. I was on my sixth year...Badge
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