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Kirsti lisa michels
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hi tammy,
im so sorry for your loss,melanoma is nasty cancer,ive been looking to talk to someone who has been through this too! i watched my mum go through it for 5 years and she passed away this past feburary,im only 19 and she was only 45 and its…
This is for anyone who has lost somone to cancer. I lost my adopted Mom to breast cancer some years ago. She was everything I could have asked for. She loved me because I was just me. She also loved my family and children as if they were her own.
i lost my mum nearly a year ago to cancer,i was her carer for her last few months,always with her,i new she was bad but i never thought she would actually die,even when i saw a document from her doctor saying she has less then 3 months i still didnt…
If you have that hole in your heart that you get when you lose the woman that you shared a body with....
Profile Information
- About my Loss:
- i lost my mum to metastatic melanoma not long ago,its coming up to the first anniversery of her death! i was 18 when i lost her,i knew she was really sick but i just never thought she would actually die i just always though nah stuff like this doesnt happen to us she will be fine because she is my mum and she as to be fine.... in the last months of her life i wasnt working and became her carer,doing things a 18 year old shoulnt be doing,but i did it because i love her, me and my brothers and dad slept at the hospital the night before she died, my poor dad had to wake me and my brothers up by saying "your mother is gone" i thought i was dreaming i started yelling out "no,no she is not,no,no" but there she was in her hospital bed no longer breathing. ever since that day i have changed,i feel empty, and i cry alot,when i think of what happend i get so mad and take it out on other people. i just dont understand why this happend! i miss her so much she was the head of this family,she always had all the answers,and now i can just tell my dad is so lost,my brothers never speak about what happened, i just wish she was here to make it all better. i try really hard to warn my friends and family about the dangers of the sun and always tell them to put sunscreen on but they either dont take me seriously,and one of my friends even laughs at me when i tell her too. i dont understand how people can see how sick my mum was and that she died from this and not take it seriously! .. im just so mad and so lost,i need my mum she is suppossed to be here to see me and my brothers grow up,this just isnt fair!
Comment Wall (4 comments)
- At 4:46am on January 26, 2010,
Rochelle Kramer said…
- I dont know how it is to have to take care of others after my mom passed. But, I can feel your pain. I lost my mom at 17, its been 3 years and I still have trouble dealing. I know how it is to be confused, not able to sleep, stressed, no one to turn to. its fustrating. Especially when you have friends saying that they are there for you but when you try talking about it, the room gets quiet, they get weird. I know how it feels to be too young to be going through this. 1 year is still pretty fresh. I am hoping that you get something from this...but what I've learned is to take the good with the bad....and seriously TAKE the good. you deserve it! im sure your mom would want you to enjoy the good in life.
- At 11:07pm on January 21, 2010,
beverly ann hurst said… - i know what you're going through. i held my mother's hand,while she took her last breathe. i want to say things will get better in time,but i haven'tgot to that stage yet.i'm sorry for your lose. may god spend be with you.
- At 9:45am on January 10, 2010,
Diane Lamas said…
- Dear Kirsti,
I can only imagine how difficult it must be to have lost your mum at such a young age. My mom passed recently, on Nov. 22nd at the age of 81, and she had many conditions which put her at risk but still it was a real shock when it happened. And it does leave a big hole as our mom's are the one person who has been with us from the moment of our conception.
Your Mom is with you still but she is not in a body like we are anymore, so she isn't suffering anymore, but those left behind are.
I may not be able to say much to you that will help your pain right now, but you aren't alone, so many people have lost their mom's and others that they love and need so much. Sometimes it's hard but one thing I've learned is that it's important to try and think positively and not let yourself fall into a negative spiral, and I know it's hard not to have it happen sometimes, but perhaps talking to a bereavement counselor will help and also know that you are stronger than you think you are and so are your dad and your brothers. It is just going to take time and please give yourself the time and be gentle with yourself as much as possible.
Perhaps in a bereavement group you may find a young person like yourself who is going through the same thing and together you may be able to help each other get through this time. Just try to remember your Mum doesn't want you to be sad or to suffer, but she is no longer suffering and that is one good thing out of it all.
I hope I have helped in some small way. Please take care of yourself and know that your Mum's love is shining down on you now and always just like always. You can picture it shining down on you as a beauiful golden light that goes with you everywhere.
Hugs,
Diane
- At 9:40am on January 10, 2010,
Money Jensen said…
- I'm sorry for your loss. i was 19 when my mother and sister passed. i felt the same way, lost and angry at the world. It will take a long time to feel somewhat normal again. i hope that you too can regain some of your sanity it took a long while for me to not be so moody. it's hard to lose a parent so young. if you would like to talk email me any time.
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Latest Activity
If you have that hole in your heart that you get when you lose the woman that you shared a body with....
@Mel &@Courtney - thx for the support. It helps coming here & reading posts by you all & others. It helps to know that I am not alone!
My brother died March 9, 2010. He was a big NASCAR fan. One Sunday a few weeks after he died, I was in bed and had been dozing off and on. The TV was on a channel that plays "whodunit" shows all day. I got up and went in to my office for a little wh…
My daughter, Lyndsey died on July 18, 2010 from injuries suffered in a motorcycle accident. She was 27 years old and left behind two children. In a blink of an eye, our world was turned upside down. I'm thankful that it was fast and she didn't linge…
For all of us that are suffering the loss a son or daughter.
@Mel YOur such an insperation when I come and read your posts...You have made it easy on me to have the fatih I do. I know that in time things will get better.....I am so glad that your doing good...and that you are talking to your dad in your own l…
Jan --
Thank you for your words....I try everyday to forgive myself and I also tell myself not to feel guilty, but it goes back to "I should of been there".
I sometimes think I need to find a griefing place here in town where I can sit down with p…
If you have that hole in your heart that you get when you lose the woman that you shared a body with....
Back in October 2009, my 21 yr old was riding his friend's motorcycle down a residential street when he was rammed into another car. Thank God the occupants of that car were not seriously hurt but unfortunately, my son sustained a massive brain in…
Greetings Amanda. Some people just dont realize how insensitive there comments are. I dont think they delibrately want to hurt us, they dont think before they speak. He who feels it, knows it. I had a parent from one of my children's class ask me if…
sorry to hear about your mom--and i tried reaching out to fred's friends but they are all couples now and dont want me around--especially since i am so sad and depressed all the time
I am creating this site for the many of us who have suffered several losses. I lost my mom, dad, grandma(2nd mom), grandpa, my beloved dog and divorce.
Many of us have lost more than one person or event.
Come share!
Useful Links
How to Write an Obituary How to Write a Eulogy Find A Grave Twinless Twins Dead or Alive Hospice My Loving Tribute Writing through Cancer
Healing Grief Support
One year of writing and healing at a glance
View my page on Hospice Community Forum Your donations benefit the entire community.
Visit My Loving Tribute
Healing Grief Support
One year of writing and healing at a glance
View my page on Hospice Community Forum Your donations benefit the entire community.
Visit My Loving Tribute
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Books
To One In Sorrow
Let me come in where you are weeping, friend,
And let me take your hand.
I, who have known a sorrow such as yours, can understand.
Let me come in--I would be very still beside you in your grief;
I would not bid you cease your weeping, friend,
Tears bring relief. Let me come in--and hold your hand,
For I have known a sorrow such as yours, And understand.
-Grace Noll Crowell
And let me take your hand.
I, who have known a sorrow such as yours, can understand.
Let me come in--I would be very still beside you in your grief;
I would not bid you cease your weeping, friend,
Tears bring relief. Let me come in--and hold your hand,
For I have known a sorrow such as yours, And understand.
-Grace Noll Crowell
The Light Beyond
The Gift That Freed Me To Give
A significant lesson for me has been understanding and accepting that our greatest gains often come through experiences in our lives that may be extremely painful. My father, Raphel Orval Beason, died less than four months before I was born at the age of 19 in an explosion at the Port Chicago U.S. Navy arsenal near Oakland, Calif. He was among 320 men killed on July 17, 1944, when two merchant ships blew next to...The loss of a son
Mother's Day will always be the anniversary of my son's death, no matter what date it falls on. May 9, 2010, the day I lost a piece of my heart. I have vivid memories of that day but they are brief glimpses only. He called that morning to tell me Happy Mother's Day Mom! I love you! I remember being 250 miles away from my home, my other child and my family. I don't know...Try tapping, it works wonders...
I don't often recommend specific methods to help with grief. But the self-help method I'm going to tell you about - EFT or Emotional Freedom Techniques - is well worth making an exception for. Basically, it involves tapping on the acupuncture points to tap into your body's own energy and healing power. If you think that sounds a little far-fetched and woo-woo, so did I. In fact, I starting doing EFT on myself for chronic...Daughter of Suicide
It has been 22 and a half years since my mother’s suicide in October 1987. I look at that number – 22 – and it startles me. It’s hard to believe that I have lived more of my life without my mother, than with her. During those first 10 years after her death I carried the heavy load of her suicide every waking moment. I struggled with my own depression and feelings of abandonment and...8 practical ways to help a grieving family
When a friend or family member experiences the death of a loved one, we quickly offer our condolences and help. Listed here are eight practical suggestions for helping a friend or family member that has just suffered a loss. 1. Offer to answer the telephone or answer emails at the family's home. Telephone calls and email can take up a considerable amount of time. Take messages and give information to friends and family. 2. Volunteer...Badge
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