I lost my boyfriend of 6 years to suicide by hanging(I knew him for 9)...he was a marine who did 2 tours and had some significant issues. I found him unfortunately. It was an amazing relationship at first but got to a point where anger started coming out little by little especially when drinking was involved. I decided to tell him I'm leaving bc everyday I was scared and nervous of what the night would bring and a few weeks after telling him this he took his life. I dont remember much of the first couple months after that. It was a lot of sobbing and sleeping but now its been a year and a half im still having issues of meeting men. I compare them to him and each time they don't come close so I back out. I never went to therapy for this so I'm not sure if that was a mistake or not but it's all taking a toll and I cant stop thinking about him dying, his funeral, his 2 little boys and how our relationship took him away from them. I'm full of guilt and shame, I loved him so much, I just don't see how I will love someone like him again.
You need to be a member of Online Grief Support - A Social Community to add comments!
"Good article Diana. I feel blessed that I had a job with a small agency and the staff were supportive and amazing. Even tho this is true, maybe eventually things could have Turned out differently. But because I was in a car crash 8 months after my…"
"The relationship with my father was more than strained, for many years. I came from a dysfunctional family that is over 5 miles long. I hated my father for years. I don't want to get into the specifics as to why. Let's just say, "The…"