Joel
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  • United Kingdom
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Latest Activity

Joel and dream moon JO B are now friends
Apr 7
Joel commented on Katherine Ellis's group Losing Someone to Cancer
"Hi all. I was just wondering if there is any other Gay Men Widows on this support Group. The death of my partner Gareth has almost been 3 years June this year. I’m still grieving. The grieve the 1st year was me just sad depressed lonely I had…"
Apr 7
Joel joined Katherine Ellis's group
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Losing Someone to Cancer

This is for anyone who has lost somone to cancer. I lost my adopted Mom to breast cancer some years ago. She was everything I could have asked for. She loved me because I was just me. She also loved my family and children as if they were her own.See More
Apr 7
Joel left a comment for Joel
"Hi all. I was just wondering if there is any other Gay Men Widows on this support Group. The death of my partner Gareth has almost been 3 years June this year. I’m still grieving. The grieve the 1st year was me just sad depressed lonely I had…"
Apr 7
Joel is now a member of Online Grief Support - A Social Community
Apr 7

Profile Information

About Me:
I’m 47 years young Gay Man
About my Loss:
Lost my Partner to Multiple Myeloma Type of Cancer. 2017

Comment Wall (1 comment)

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At 9:45am on April 7, 2020, Joel said…
Hi all. I was just wondering if there is any other Gay Men Widows on this support Group. The death of my partner Gareth has almost been 3 years June this year. I’m still grieving. The grieve the 1st year was me just sad depressed lonely I had a friend stay with me the first two weeks after the funeral I really needed that. But then when he left to go home the reality sets in evan more the years daily and nightly the stages of grieve the guilt,Anger all off the stages come flooding in. Know one tells you how to cope with such a loss. Year went by with me just existing really. Gareth has 4 children from another relationship long time ago. So I focused on them fir almost a year plus I travelled back and fourth to Jamaica 3 -4 times somewhere we both went. It took my mind of the grieve. However I have found now after almost 3 years I was just running away from the truth the grieve. I do say to people I was still grieving but I needed go through this my way. The anniversary’s come and go quickly. I noticed I drank a lot more 3-4 times per week to get through the pain loneliness. Not good for your health I know but the alternative was anti depressants and I don’t like them. I would say if it gets too much for anyone to seek medical advice and try the medication as I do know it eases and helps the suffering. So cut long story short I’m a Gay Widow suffer with OCD. I feel I don’t have a future now as I feel I focused and gave all my energy to Gareth fir the 12 years we were together. I really don’t think I would be up for all that again. No way. And I know people say get out there enjoy your life he wouldn’t want you to be sad and Lonely and I understand that how every I really don’t want it. I have had feelings fir people don’t get me wrong do I know it can happen. I personally just don’t want to. I promote anyone if they do get a chance to have happiness again go for it. Anyway I think I’ve gone on enough hope you guys find your peace and happiness again. It’s only us that can do it. Yes support is great and that’s why I felt I needed to get on this group just in the end it comes down to us to get back on our feet and put one step in-front of the other easier said than done I know.
 
 
 

Latest Activity

Christina Powell left a comment for Eva
"I am very sorry for you, too, Eva....and I appreciate so much your reply.  It is the first I have gotten so far, though I admit I’ve been too upset lately to check on this.  My mother and I had always been so close, I really feel…"
yesterday
Profile IconDeidre DeMier and Christian Miller joined Online Grief Support - A Social Community
Tuesday
Christian Miller added a discussion to the group Multiple Losses Group
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My Story

When I was twelve my mother was murdered then my beloved sweet grandmother died when I was 18. My maternal grandfather died when I was 22. My maternal grandmother died when I was 33 and my final living parent/grandparent died when I was 35.  I lived with a lot of loss most of it came at a sudden clip.  I'm left with incredible feeling of loneliness even though I've been married for 20+ years and have two wonderful children.  It's tough to share my true feelings with my wife because it's so hard…See More
Tuesday
Christian Miller added a discussion to the group surviving family members' murders
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My Story

When I was twelve years old, my mother was brutally murdered during a robbery of our home.  I came within minutes of finding her body but by sheer chance I didn't.  It has been over 35 years since that day but it still effects my life today.  As a child, I went through the trial of the man convicted of killing my beautiful mother then as a man I went through his parole process finally his death from illness in prison. See More
Tuesday
Christian Miller joined Susie H's group
Tuesday
Christian Miller joined Julie Dolsey-Weiss's group
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Multiple Losses Group

I am creating this site for the many of us who have suffered several losses. I lost my mom, dad, grandma(2nd mom), grandpa, my beloved dog and divorce.Many of us have lost more than one person or event.Come share!See More
Tuesday
Christian Miller updated their profile
Tuesday
Eva joined Katherine Ellis's group
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Losing Someone to Cancer

This is for anyone who has lost somone to cancer. I lost my adopted Mom to breast cancer some years ago. She was everything I could have asked for. She loved me because I was just me. She also loved my family and children as if they were her own.See More
Saturday

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