I am 39 years old. I was married for 14 years, recently divorced. Was blessed with two beautiful children Robbie and Josie. My miracle babies, my life was complete. I enjoy being a mom and spending time with our family.
About my Loss:
The evening of July 16, 2005 was the worst day of my life. My daughter Josie who was 2 and 1/2 years old was hit by a truck and killed. Her brother Robbie was 4 yrs old at the time and was there with me and witnessed the most horrifying accident ever. I died that night and have not been the same since. I asked my brother and his family to please take my son as i totally lost my mind. Here it is 8 years later and im still very much lost with no direction on how to get back on track. I have no closure with Josie, they took that from me and for that i am very much full of hate. I am mad at the world. I havent been able to pull myself together to be the mom that my son needs. I had to ask of my brother and his wife to please adopt my son for me as i didnt know it would turn out like this. There's nothing more painful than the death of a child but to be so emotionally wrecked over what i witnessed that night that i cant bring myself to parent the living child, that is the worst feeling in the world. I feel like such a failure. My son is now 12 years old and is now starting to ask so many questions. So ive set some new goals for the new year. Ive applied for my housing, im back in counseling, taking my prescribed meds, and am working on starting a new life so i can be that mom that my son needs and deserves. I miss both my babies so so much, I apologize to my daughter everyday and now ive made a promise to her that i will forgive myself and get my life back for my son and i. I love and miss you Josie so much and i promise that Robbie and i will be a family again ok and soon. Your very much missed and loved by everyone babygirl, especially by your brother Robbie and your mommy.
You need to be a member of Online Grief Support - A Social Community to add comments!
"Having a bad day. Well, really a bad bunch of days. Might as well call it a bad bunch of weeks. I keep obsessing on the fact that Rocky is really and totally GONE from my life. Just gone. For the rest of my days. I don't know what has see me…"
"My sister had a sign from my mom, who passed away unexpectedly. My sister was out of town, heard a knock on the door and mother calling her name. She got up to answer the door but no one was there. About a half hour later she got the news of our…"
This is for anyone who has lost somone to cancer. I lost my adopted Mom to breast cancer some years ago. She was everything I could have asked for. She loved me because I was just me. She also loved my family and children as if they were her own.See More
"I'm going to find out this month. It is my first without Rocky. I did nothing as far as decorating. I'm going to go spend it with my daughters in Ft Collins and I hope I "handle it" ok and not ruin it for anyone.
But it feels…"
"I guess I'm not the only one going through this at this time of the year. What is the deal with Christmas anyway? Why do we fall apart when we might have been feeling like we could see the light at the end of the tunnel in Oct? I know I always…"
"Thank you for your comments Anna I pray it gets better but after 14 yrs it feels like it never will. My prayers got out to all the other members here who are struggling especially hard through this holiday season."
"David, I'm so sorry. When I lost my mom I felt like I lost the one person in my life who actually really cared about me and cared about everything I did. I'm told it gets better, but I believe they mean we just get more used to it. I wish…"
"Hi, I am new too. I am so sorry about your best friend. Pray for strength. Scream/Cry do what you need to do. The link is to a song that means a lot to me. Listen to the music. Feel the lyrics. I hope it helps. It helps me everyday.…"
"It is almost another year of the anniversary of my dear mother Ellen's death caused by ALS. People say time heals.....that really is a lie. I still struggle every year with the huge hole her passing left in my life. I still cry thinking how…"
I found my friend's dead body on Dec 18 2016, which was, to put it simply, the most horrific thing I have ever seen. My Dad -- who was my Superman -- passed in his sleep on Dec 27 2016, 9 days apart. I think I said 7 days…"