I am 39 years old. I was married for 14 years, recently divorced. Was blessed with two beautiful children Robbie and Josie. My miracle babies, my life was complete. I enjoy being a mom and spending time with our family.
About my Loss:
The evening of July 16, 2005 was the worst day of my life. My daughter Josie who was 2 and 1/2 years old was hit by a truck and killed. Her brother Robbie was 4 yrs old at the time and was there with me and witnessed the most horrifying accident ever. I died that night and have not been the same since. I asked my brother and his family to please take my son as i totally lost my mind. Here it is 8 years later and im still very much lost with no direction on how to get back on track. I have no closure with Josie, they took that from me and for that i am very much full of hate. I am mad at the world. I havent been able to pull myself together to be the mom that my son needs. I had to ask of my brother and his wife to please adopt my son for me as i didnt know it would turn out like this. There's nothing more painful than the death of a child but to be so emotionally wrecked over what i witnessed that night that i cant bring myself to parent the living child, that is the worst feeling in the world. I feel like such a failure. My son is now 12 years old and is now starting to ask so many questions. So ive set some new goals for the new year. Ive applied for my housing, im back in counseling, taking my prescribed meds, and am working on starting a new life so i can be that mom that my son needs and deserves. I miss both my babies so so much, I apologize to my daughter everyday and now ive made a promise to her that i will forgive myself and get my life back for my son and i. I love and miss you Josie so much and i promise that Robbie and i will be a family again ok and soon. Your very much missed and loved by everyone babygirl, especially by your brother Robbie and your mommy.
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"Hi denise , hows today , any better? doubt it somehow,so hard , i go from one emotion to other , will miss him so much ,made me realsise just how much i did for him and im gonna have so much time on my hands , i look around our home and everything…"
spent my morning moving bist of furniture and thinsg as the corner of the room was like a hospital, made no difference though , in my minds eye I can see him there every time i enter , i know its a memory but so hard , then i pulled up the…"
"Dear Janet, I have not come to this site as often but noticed your post in the sidebar. I am sorry your multiple losses. Our family too had multiple losses in one year. I was thinking perhaps that the NDERF site by Dr. Jeffrey Long might help you in…"
"I can definitely understand why you would be scared just overall. To have an inanimate object fly at you on it's own and then the different dogs in the different houses all growling and uneasy about something they are obviously seeing. To me,…"
"bean semil weid thngs altly lk mnt sarse wenn no 1s usd it or orth smells lk thm rud 1s u cud ay
evn smells of srtn obaco u cud say
evn smells of s[irt alcol stuff i wud not evn tuch u cd say im a beer drnkt or bt of win 1 but thes smells can…"
I received 1 message from you regarding talking privately and having received abusive comments here. That is a shame and I'm surprised that the person wasn't penalized...or maybe he/she was?
I am surprised that we live fairly…"
when he passed last saturday the Gp was on holiday , so no death certificate available for another week, I blew my top mildy at receptionist so another Gp rang to say sorry, felt a bit sorry for him really, he was so kind .... ,id made…"
"Hi Denise ,thanks for your reply , went to sisters today , she tries to say right things but irritated me so much , meant well, but wouldnt say we are that close anyway, were growing up but to much pain happened between the family and we are in…"
Yesterday, I had to pick up copies of George's death certificates and it totally devastated me. It did not bother me when I received the copies, I pretended that it did not bother me because I put the copies face down in the back of the car and did not look at them until later that night. I have not read the whole certificate but after I skimmed it looking at the cause of death I fell apart but I forced myself to hold it together until I started sobbing while watching TV with our daughter. I…See More
"Val, thank you for your reply. I am so sorry for your loss. Our worlds were turned inside out almost a week ago and from what I keep reading, time will help and even during this last week I have had periods where I am ok and then other times I am…"
lost my husband last saturday at home, had 7 extra months which gave us time to adjust (if thats possible) and was with him and know he heard me and hes still with me . Have had several strange occurences , they say coincidence is w…"
"Hi Mary! So glad to find you who understand what I wrote about! Yes, we have grief and miss our loved ones, but we also have the good things that God gives us. How sad that your guest wasn't open to the experience of the service you brought her…"
"Susan, I love reading your post, you have a wonderful way with words. I came to this site looking for answers. The Grief Share group I attended was disappointing. It was held at a church but they seemed to avoid the mention of God.…"