I am 39 years old. I was married for 14 years, recently divorced. Was blessed with two beautiful children Robbie and Josie. My miracle babies, my life was complete. I enjoy being a mom and spending time with our family.
About my Loss:
The evening of July 16, 2005 was the worst day of my life. My daughter Josie who was 2 and 1/2 years old was hit by a truck and killed. Her brother Robbie was 4 yrs old at the time and was there with me and witnessed the most horrifying accident ever. I died that night and have not been the same since. I asked my brother and his family to please take my son as i totally lost my mind. Here it is 8 years later and im still very much lost with no direction on how to get back on track. I have no closure with Josie, they took that from me and for that i am very much full of hate. I am mad at the world. I havent been able to pull myself together to be the mom that my son needs. I had to ask of my brother and his wife to please adopt my son for me as i didnt know it would turn out like this. There's nothing more painful than the death of a child but to be so emotionally wrecked over what i witnessed that night that i cant bring myself to parent the living child, that is the worst feeling in the world. I feel like such a failure. My son is now 12 years old and is now starting to ask so many questions. So ive set some new goals for the new year. Ive applied for my housing, im back in counseling, taking my prescribed meds, and am working on starting a new life so i can be that mom that my son needs and deserves. I miss both my babies so so much, I apologize to my daughter everyday and now ive made a promise to her that i will forgive myself and get my life back for my son and i. I love and miss you Josie so much and i promise that Robbie and i will be a family again ok and soon. Your very much missed and loved by everyone babygirl, especially by your brother Robbie and your mommy.
You need to be a member of Online Grief Support - A Social Community to add comments!
"Thank you, Fran. My family leaves me pretty much alone and we all went through losing Mom together but that was over 30 years ago. I somehow survived that loss and the pain then was beyond belief. This, this loss is almost…"
"I am so sorry to hear about your mom. And wish you strength going forward, as it will be a tough journey. I hope that they find the horrible person and bring them to justice.
Unfortunately unless they go through a death they have no idea what you…"
Yesterday was my Mom's 1st death anniversary.Last year ,she was brutally assaulted and died after fighting for life after 40 days.I have Friends & family who were by our side when mom was in hospital.After her death gradually, everyone seems to have forgotten, everyone has moved on.I was hurt when my closest friend didn't come over as she felt,I would be in a sad mood.Another friend had a similar excuse.They think it is alright to remember her, but I should get over the loss.I have relived…See More
"Hi Carl, my younger sister died unexpectedly 3 weeks ago and I'm utterly desolate. She was only 22 and the closest person to me in the world. I'm in this bubble of shock/denial/grief and already I can see life moving on around me; already…"
"Hey Karen T., so sorry never saw the post that you fell, I'm so sorry...that SUCKS! Hope you are feeling a little better. I think if you need the meds to feel better then that is all that matters. How is your son doing now?"
"John, unless someone has been thru what we are living thru, they have no idea! I admit that until it happened to me, I thought grief would only last a month or two. I'm hitting 4 months this week and still feel like I have no real direction, no…"
"Its tough Tina and as the second year begins, it sort of gets a bit tougher as there is no history of the month in the previous year. Trying to function individually is how I am doing it too. I stopped feeling bad about people not…"
"Yes Sarah it is almost like a parent is on vacation sometimes and maybe it helps a bit to think this way, just to absorb the shock. Tips ? The only thing I can suggest if possible is to postpone any major plans for at least two years so like 6…"
"Its been 18 months and I am breathing but its a grind. I just came back to my parents house and while there is pain, the personal items and all are a source of comfort and sometimes feel that its all still there and yet i cried a lot in the…"
"I know that this post is kind of old but I saw it today and felt the need to add a comment. Stephanie,you are stronger than you give yourself credit for! It can be very hard working paycheck to paycheck,and trying to get in school on top of that.…"
"Mom passed on January 2013. I can relate to many of you who posted before. I am not very close with the rest of the family, and I'm not married or have kids. So the loss of the most important person in my life changed everything.
I still feel…"
I lost my dad almost a year and half ago. He went to heaven after fighting kidney failure for about a year. It seems like some days are tougher than others. It still seems like he is just "on vacation" some times and that he will call soon. I am getting married next month and am struggling with his absence. Is there ways to make this easier? Any tips? I still find myself crying at random when I think that he won't be there and he is actually" gone" from this world. I find myself thinking about…See More