I am 39 years old. I was married for 14 years, recently divorced. Was blessed with two beautiful children Robbie and Josie. My miracle babies, my life was complete. I enjoy being a mom and spending time with our family.
About my Loss:
The evening of July 16, 2005 was the worst day of my life. My daughter Josie who was 2 and 1/2 years old was hit by a truck and killed. Her brother Robbie was 4 yrs old at the time and was there with me and witnessed the most horrifying accident ever. I died that night and have not been the same since. I asked my brother and his family to please take my son as i totally lost my mind. Here it is 8 years later and im still very much lost with no direction on how to get back on track. I have no closure with Josie, they took that from me and for that i am very much full of hate. I am mad at the world. I havent been able to pull myself together to be the mom that my son needs. I had to ask of my brother and his wife to please adopt my son for me as i didnt know it would turn out like this. There's nothing more painful than the death of a child but to be so emotionally wrecked over what i witnessed that night that i cant bring myself to parent the living child, that is the worst feeling in the world. I feel like such a failure. My son is now 12 years old and is now starting to ask so many questions. So ive set some new goals for the new year. Ive applied for my housing, im back in counseling, taking my prescribed meds, and am working on starting a new life so i can be that mom that my son needs and deserves. I miss both my babies so so much, I apologize to my daughter everyday and now ive made a promise to her that i will forgive myself and get my life back for my son and i. I love and miss you Josie so much and i promise that Robbie and i will be a family again ok and soon. Your very much missed and loved by everyone babygirl, especially by your brother Robbie and your mommy.
You need to be a member of Online Grief Support - A Social Community to add comments!
"Ambreen, It hasn't even been a month for you and I can promise you that you are still in shock. It may not feel like it. First, I just want to tell you that I am so sorry for your loss. This Christmas eve will make two years for me. It all…"
lost my mother on 24 nov 2017 , now 3 weeks have been passed . My mother was diagnosed with stage 4 lung cancer , It was a great shock for me , She never ever smoked and she didn't have any symptoms . I was very closed to my mother and my father has been passed away 4 years ago When she was diagnosed with cancer , I thought that some miracle would happen , I started adding anti cancer dietary elements in her diet , giving her drugs with an ambition of fighting with her disease . But h…See More
"This is so hard for me! I miss my mama so much and it does not seem anybody understands but this group! I am going to my baby half sister this year for Xmas. By my father's 2nd marriage . She lost her own mother many yrs ago. I am trying to…"
"I am so sorry. I lost my precious Mother on Valentines day of this year. It is shattering. Do not deny yourself the right to grieve to please others. They think they are helping, but in reality, they hurt for you and are trying to make it better.…"
I lost my mother on 24 nov 2017 , now 3 weeks have been passed . My mother was diagnosed with stage 4 lung cancer , It was a great shock for me , She never ever smoked and she didn't have any symptoms . I was very closed to my mother and my father has been passed away 4 years ago When she was diagnosed with cancer , I thought that some miracle would happen , I started adding anti cancer dietary elements in her diet , giving her drugs with an ambition of fighting with her disease . But…See More
"I'm so very sorry for your loss Aaron. I lost my husband to cancer as well. He died in August 2015. It's early days right now and I hope you are feeling well supported by your family and friends. Should you ever…"
"Dear Nat, I’m so very sorry you had to lose your beloved husband. I wish you strength and comfort as you make your way through these early days and nights. There are many kind souls on this site who know about deep pain, and I recommend…"
Kay, nat, Ambreen and 5 more joined Online Grief Support - A Social Community
"Bluebell, my thoughts and prayers are with you. My brother called me the other day and he said are you ok? There is a twenty year age difference between us, so we are not that close and he lives five hours away. I said to him, yes I though you would…"
"Another bad day. I was shopping for Christmas cards and gift bags when without warning, I broke down in tears at the register. Thank goodness the cashier was a sensitive caring person and did not just blow me off. She said "Your Mom will always…"