Jennifer
  • Female
  • Waterloo, IN
  • United States
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Latest Activity

Jennifer left a comment for morgan
"Thanks Morgan for commenting on my profile page. Wow...What u described that u go through every day of every year is exactly how I feel. I lost my girlfriend/fiance of 5 years to suicide. I know without a doubt in my mind that she is my soul mate so…"
Apr 19
morgan left a comment for Jennifer
"Jennifer,   If there was anything at all I could say, I would.  No one who hasn't lost the love of their life can understand the amount of pain that stays with us for a very long time.  I know at four years I was still banging…"
Apr 19
Jennifer is now a member of Online Grief Support - A Social Community
Apr 18

Profile Information

About Me:
I am a deaf lesbian woman in need of a friend to talk to who understands the pain I am going thru.
About my Loss:
Lost my soul mate also deaf to suicide almost 2 years ago. Cant seem to get past this just seems lile every day gets harder and harder. The tears are just non stop everyday. I need help i dont know what to do to ease this pain.

Comment Wall (1 comment)

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At 7:31pm on April 19, 2019, morgan said…

Jennifer,  

If there was anything at all I could say, I would.  No one who hasn't lost the love of their life can understand the amount of pain that stays with us for a very long time.  I know at four years I was still banging into walls essentially.  It took me to get several months past five years before I didn't feel the helplessness of thinking will the pain ever stop. No the pain never stops but.....

I don't have the best news as I am now past the six year mark and the pain is still with me it just manifests differently.  For me, what results from time passing is that my brain (on its own, or maybe by my training it) blocks the constant pain.  I still get it intermittently (pretty much every day still) and it is bottomless.  Excruciating.  But it doesn't hang on me all day long.  

My problem is I hate life.  I hate opening my eyes every morning.  I hate having to pout up with what I have to do on a daily basis.  I want to join my husband because there is nothing for me here.  But then, what if......that is the ONLY thing that has kept me halfway serving.  What if......

All I can say is we all understand your pain.  We can because we all feel the same way.  We all just try to keep managing to cope  There is no manual for how to survive the death of a loved one.  Nothing other than feeling the pain.  Its crappy encouragement.........wish I had better.......

 
 
 

Latest Activity

Profile IconRhys, Jessie Karen and Barbara joined Online Grief Support - A Social Community
2 hours ago
Aright updated their profile
Monday
Linda Engberg commented on Jon-Paul Ackerman's group Lost My Spouse...
"Hi Joe, I understand what you mean.  There will never be anymore of what we did together, IT IS FINISHED."
Oct 10
Mandy is now a member of Online Grief Support - A Social Community
Oct 10
Linda Engberg commented on Jon-Paul Ackerman's group Lost My Spouse...
Oct 9
Joe Kelly commented on Jon-Paul Ackerman's group Lost My Spouse...
"Strike those vacations below, they'll never be another one.  Went on a memorial cruise with my daughter and family four months after she passed because she was so looking forward to it.  It hurt enough to know they'll be no more."
Oct 9
Joe Kelly commented on Jon-Paul Ackerman's group Lost My Spouse...
"Yes Elynn, the loneliness.  That's painful.  They're not here and always was.  Our best friend, lover, and most precious thing we had.  We were lucky enough to spend the last 8 1/2 years together, joined at the…"
Oct 9
Elynn m commented on Jon-Paul Ackerman's group Lost My Spouse...
"I've had a rough few weeks.   August 31st would have been our 45th wedding anniversary.   September 27 was year 4 of my husband's passing.   It's pretty lonely around here.  Its difficult to talk…"
Oct 9
Joe Kelly commented on Jon-Paul Ackerman's group Lost My Spouse...
"Every day for me is the same day she passed.  Not a joyful or even an ok moment.  I spend a little time with the children and grands and do my best to hide my emotions, but they all know how I am inside, even the youngest grand at age 4…"
Oct 8
Profile IconDinah and Morgan A Conger joined Online Grief Support - A Social Community
Oct 8
Linda Engberg commented on Jon-Paul Ackerman's group Lost My Spouse...
"Morgan, I feel the same as you. My sweet dog Babie J is nearing the Rainbow Bridge. I wanted stay on this earth for her. Once she passes I will do nothing to save my own soul.  "
Oct 8
Brett Bowman commented on Karen's group I miss my Mom!
"Avi, I don't know if we can rethink our emotions that way. Our emotions are what they are, although reason can help us form our emotions and hopefully change them for the better. I don't know if my mom can hear me or not. I certainly…"
Oct 8
Avi commented on Karen's group I miss my Mom!
"How are you all doing?  I had bad last 2 days. Felt lot of guilt and cried. There were some moments which made me remember my mother.  Also I hear comforting words by a lady that people who have gone from this world can still feel your…"
Oct 8
morgan commented on Jon-Paul Ackerman's group Lost My Spouse...
"I wonder how i am managing.  Not well and to be onest today I wanted to just set a date with death. I am approaching seven years of being without him and though I function towards the outside world better and my crying has lessened but at the…"
Oct 7
Linda Engberg commented on Jon-Paul Ackerman's group Lost My Spouse...
"What a horrible price to pay for love. "
Oct 7
Profile IconZed and Amy joined Online Grief Support - A Social Community
Oct 4
Jodi Karron joined donna henderson's group
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for loved ones who have lost someone to suicide

if you have lost someone by suicide post your thoughts here.
Oct 3
Dayna posted a group
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Loss of a loved one to alcohol, substance abuse or suicide

If you have lost a loved one to alcohol, substance abuse or suicide please share your story or feelings here. Share the love and beauty of the one you lost. Losing someone any of these ways is not natural and can be hard to understand and ask why? I lost my Mother to an overdose 9 years ago. She also suffered from major depression. Her doctor got her hooked on pain medication and she was addicted most of my life. These doctors who were suppose to help her ended up killing her in the end. I also…See More
Oct 3
Profile IconBrandi and Jennifer Pollard joined Online Grief Support - A Social Community
Oct 2
Dayna commented on Kim Darichuk's status
"I am very sorry to hear about your Mom passing. I lost my Mother to an overdose 9 years ago and just my identical twin sister last month to an overdose. My mother and I were not as close as I would have liked. The disease kept her depressed and…"
Oct 2

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