"Thanks Morgan for commenting on my profile page. Wow...What u described that u go through every day of every year is exactly how I feel. I lost my girlfriend/fiance of 5 years to suicide. I know without a doubt in my mind that she is my soul mate so…"
If there was anything at all I could say, I would. No one who hasn't lost the love of their life can understand the amount of pain that stays with us for a very long time. I know at four years I was still banging…"
Jennifer is now a member of Online Grief Support - A Social Community
I am a deaf lesbian woman in need of a friend to talk to who understands the pain I am going thru.
About my Loss:
Lost my soul mate also deaf to suicide almost 2 years ago. Cant seem to get past this just seems lile every day gets harder and harder. The tears are just non stop everyday. I need help i dont know what to do to ease this pain.
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If there was anything at all I could say, I would. No one who hasn't lost the love of their life can understand the amount of pain that stays with us for a very long time. I know at four years I was still banging into walls essentially. It took me to get several months past five years before I didn't feel the helplessness of thinking will the pain ever stop. No the pain never stops but.....
I don't have the best news as I am now past the six year mark and the pain is still with me it just manifests differently. For me, what results from time passing is that my brain (on its own, or maybe by my training it) blocks the constant pain. I still get it intermittently (pretty much every day still) and it is bottomless. Excruciating. But it doesn't hang on me all day long.
My problem is I hate life. I hate opening my eyes every morning. I hate having to pout up with what I have to do on a daily basis. I want to join my husband because there is nothing for me here. But then, what if......that is the ONLY thing that has kept me halfway serving. What if......
All I can say is we all understand your pain. We can because we all feel the same way. We all just try to keep managing to cope There is no manual for how to survive the death of a loved one. Nothing other than feeling the pain. Its crappy encouragement.........wish I had better.......
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Welcome to Online Grief Support - A Social Community
"Thank you Kelly for a genuine and bright yet deep insight into how berievement has affected you. Children are resourcefull and it isn't till in later life that the death of a loved one creates a new reality. I've written a song about the…"
"Over the last couple of days, I've had some real negative thoughts, scary to say the least. I know I'll never see her here with me again, which I know but can't accept, but today I questioned is she here with me in spirit? …"
"Marita, not that I am glad to hear you suffer from anxiety and fear but thank you for at least sharing that you too are overwhelmed with living. At times I want to scream that the way I feel is not some cry for sympathy but more I am…"
You were the original poster who made it real for me that telling the truth about our pain was ok. That it was how this grief was going to be no mater how I might be told otherwise. And to know that your truth is that pretty…"
"Linda, yes, I too have the recurring thoughts my brain sends me that my husband is dead. It's not possible for me to accept it either. I know it as fact just as I know the sun shines, but when it appears in my brain I simply cannot…"
"As much as we all suffer, some may have an additional burden of having to go out into the real world and deal with people in business to survive. The impact of that makes it all that much more unbearable. While I'm not in that…"
"Same here, Marita. Things I would have been able to deal with before (either before I met my husband, or while he was here with me), I cannot handle at all now. Any tiny problem is insurmountable. Everything is.
Morgan, I am truly sorry you are…"
i live with constant fear and anxiety. Every time I am confronted with a new problem I break down because my husband is not here to support me, to comfort me, to love me and it is a reminder of my loss. When things become so…"
Rosaisela is now a member of Online Grief Support - A Social Community
My whole problem with myself is I just can't accept my Husband's death and there is a not a thing I can do about it. I want things back the way things were. So to avoid all my breakdowns I try to numb myself with beer. I don't…"
"Avi, I felt something very similar. After a year the pain and shock of mom's death had eased somewhat, but the guilt increased. I learned that grief is a process that has many different facets.
I am really amazed by the folks who seem to…"
"Terrible,horrible, crippling breakdown tonight. I know what triggered it and it is something I have struggled with all these years and the closer I get to trying to solve it the worse the breakdowns are becoming. Problem is I am still unable…"
"Avi, these anniversaries are so hard and confusing. My husband’s birthday was this Saturday, and Mother’s Day, the first since my dear mother died, was on the next day, Sunday. A hard weekend to get through. I want to…"