I am 21 years old. Young, Not in College, Career Driven and completely lost.
About my Loss:
My brother killed himself in late January. It was sudden. My family knew something was wrong but not to the extent that it led to. He didn't leave a letter or anything.
It was extremely difficult for me because of the fact he was my half brother in a different state. I never knew he was dealing with depression, something that I too was (and still am) struggling with for a long time. He also messaged me prior to his passing but I never replied to his message. I didn't even read it. I still won't.
I now sit with the regret that I never messaged him when I grew up. He used to call me everyday after school when I was in Elementary/High School. Meanwhile I barely even know anything about my brother.
Lots of questions remain. Did I ever feel like a real sister to him? My other brothers? If I had replied, would it have changed anything? Would I have been able to save him?
Grief has not been easy. I join today in search from some light in the dark.
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