"i miss mom so mush i do"
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Ghost
- Female
- Columbus, GA
- United States
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- About Me:
- My name is Ghost, thats what everyone calls me any way. I just turned 20 years old, sadly just a few short days after my mothers passing...
Ive moved around alot since I was 18. Im kind of an adventurer. I live in georgia currently with my two room mates.
Im a witch, for lack of a better name. Im highly intuitive and no I dont ride a broom stick. But I do worship nature and the universe. Im guided by it.
Ive been a raver for a long time, I enjoy hard bass and the nights I cant remember with the friends I cant forget. Im a dancer. The Melbourne shuffle to be exact.
- About my Loss:
- When I was 15 my mom sat my two little sisters and I on the couch and with a tear in her eye... announced she was diagnosed with lung cancer. The doctors gave her special care and good hopes... she was young enough and otherwise healthy. A healthy eater and obsessed with working out.
Sadly just as we thought she beat it, her limbs slowly stoped working after she and I fell off our bicycles one day after her initial recovery. She couldnt walk.... or write her own name. I remember her falling countless times. At this point I was 17 and her right hand man.... best friends.... I helped her do everything I could... as it turned out the tumble off the bicycle had revealed two brain tumors...oh my god... this is kind of hard to write... yet ill continue.
She recieved cyber knife treatment along with radiation and an actual brain surgery. The truama to her brain had given her massive bipolar and because of this... she had kicked me out of the house at 18 during one of her episodes. She was in the process of divorcing my dad and was extremely paranoid and angry. So our relationship suffered and I wish... I wish it hadnt... I love her so much.... my mom was always my world.... we were so close growing up.
Eventually she moved to rhode island when I was 19. Rhode island is our home state. She took my sisters and left. I helped her move all her stuff on the truck.... it was hard to say good bye then... I couldnt imagine not being in the same state as her.... even if we wernt in the same house. How foolish was I, to feel such pain then... at least I could call her.
Time went on and she was in remission when in September I got a phone call telling me she had three months to live... at the begining of october my aunt called me to tell me she was in hospice... I got on a plane the next day and spent every day by her bed side... just like I did when she was recovering from cancer the first time....
While in hospice she was so beautiful. I thought to myself. How could someone who is dieing be so beautiful? She was always beautiful.... right to the end...
I put my head on her hand... cuz I wanted to always remember my mothers warmth... she couldnt talk because of the morphine.. to communicate she lifted her eyebrows or made little noises. I wish before she passed I couldve heard her say "I love you" one more time. I know she loves me though....where ever she is what ever she is doing.
When she passed. I felt relieved, I didnt cry... I was in some sick way happy. She was suffering so much.
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Hi Ghost, how are you doing? My name is Juliana, I really want to have a good friendship with you. I have something very very important I really want to discuss with you alone okay. Please my dear, I want you to write me back through this my email address okay: juliana4love_rubaian@outlook.com