Doug
  • Male
  • Port Royal, PA
  • United States
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Unbearable loneliness
3 Replies

I have been struggling with a Major Depressive Disorder for a very long time and have been to numerous psychiatrists searching for help all to no avail. Some time ago I found out that for a period of…Continue

Started this discussion. Last reply by Maggi Crowston-Boaler Apr 29.

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Latest Activity

Doug replied to Cathy 's discussion My brother's death cirrhosis
"Hello Nancy, I don't know how both you, and Cathy, can carry on as well as you have after losing someone you loved so much? It's unbelievable to me that your husband's doctor could be so inept as to never test his liver function,…"
17 hours ago
Doug joined Diana, Grief Counselor's group
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I love my Dad.

For everyone that has lost their Dad.
Jul 16
Doug joined Steph's group
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How to move on...

How to move on after the loss of your significant other? Is this possible? When? Navigating through this process while also dealing with your grief. See More
Jul 16
Doug replied to Cathy 's discussion My brother's death cirrhosis
"Hello Morgan, I send my sincerest condolences to you for your loss and thank you for your kind words. I didn't share it in my post with Cathy, but when I was released from prison in 2006, I had moved to a new state because of an invitation by a…"
Jul 13
Cathy and Doug are now friends
Jul 13
Doug replied to Cathy 's discussion My brother's death cirrhosis
"Cathy, Please accept my deepest condolences on your brother's passing. When I first read the title of your post, "My brother's death cirrhosis", I can't begin to tell you how badly it affected me. Please let me explain, I,…"
Jul 13
Doug replied to Richard Rivera's discussion GETTING WEAKER NOT SURE HOW LONG
"Richard, I'm very sorry to hear about all that you're going through and I wish there was something I could do to ease your pain. Have you gone to a doctor or the emergency room at your local hospital yet? I can completely understand when…"
Jul 5
Doug replied to Clem's discussion Heroin finally won in the group Losing Someone to Drug Overdose
"Clem, There are no words that could assuage the pain you're going through. If there were I would certainly offer them to you.Your son sounds like he was a terrific guy and had to deal with more than he should have with the addiction as well as…"
Jun 12
Doug joined Laura Rozier's group
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Losing Someone to Drug Overdose

If you've lost someone you loved due to them overdosing on drugs, let's talk about it here.See More
Jun 12
Doug replied to Richard Rivera's discussion Anyone also form the New Jersey area?
"Hello,I no longer live in New Jersey, but spent a great portion of my life growing up there in places like Marlton, Edison, Medford. Mostly in South Jersey though. I have often thought of the same thing you have as I have some health issues and as a…"
Jun 3
Doug replied to Richard Rivera's discussion LIVING ALONE WITH NO ONE TO SPEAK TO? HOW??
"I know, and can feel, your unbelievable pain first hand. As I'm typing this, the need to end my own suffering today is as strong as it's ever been. There are no words adequate enough to lessen the pain you're feeling now, none.…"
Jun 1
Maggi Crowston-Boaler replied to Doug's discussion Unbearable loneliness
"October 22nd, 2012, my elder son was told he had late-stage Hodgkin's Lymphoma. Massive tumour on his right lung. Inoperable. Long story short: he went through HELL and he died just a month later. No counselling has ever been offered. I've…"
Apr 29
AnneJ replied to Doug's discussion Unbearable loneliness
"Doug, when some of us get to that stage of life where we're looking in the rear-view mirror, it is so brutal. The transplant staging is very transparent and explanatory; it's done by numbers and the reasons are not factored in, just if the…"
Apr 13
morgan replied to Doug's discussion Unbearable loneliness
"Doug,  I just read your post and I am so sorry that you have such a heavy burden of what life was and is.  Since my husbands death I've been on a quest to answer so many questions that seem to lead me to dead ends.  I can wonder…"
Apr 12
Doug posted a discussion

Unbearable loneliness

I have been struggling with a Major Depressive Disorder for a very long time and have been to numerous psychiatrists searching for help all to no avail. Some time ago I found out that for a period of about twelve years I had Hep C and never knew that I had it, until I began feeling sick everyday. I went to a doctor and was told that in the time I didn't know I had it, the virus had ravaged my liver and that my only hope was a transplant. My insurance company agreed that as a last ditch effort…See More
Apr 12
Doug replied to Kaitlyn W's discussion When Grief Overcomes You
"Hello Kaitlyn, I am terrible sorry for your loss and I think I know the pain you're going through because my Mom was diagnosed with this unbelievably cruel disease and after a heartbreaking struggle she passed away in November, 2008. I will…"
Mar 27

Profile Information

About Me:
I have a difficult time explaining things about myself and I'm not sure why. At times I feel incredibly immature and overly emotional. It seems as if all my emotions are abnormal. By that I mean that compared to other people, my emotions seem to be extreme.
About my Loss:
You may find this strange and maybe not even possible, but the loss hasn't happened yet, but it will in the near future. Yet I still feel extremely sad and depressed and I've been that way for a very long time. My Mom died a few years back from Alzheimer's and my Dad provided her care until the very end. Now my Dad is suffering from Alzheimer's also and the fear I have of losing him is very real and unbelievably painful. I've waited too long to tell him exactly how I feel and the things I've always wanted to tell him, but put off.

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Latest Activity

Panda commented on Karen's group I miss my Mom!
"Really missing my mom right now :/ she was the only one in my fd up family. And what hurts even more was I only really knew her for two weeks before she died cuz I got taken from her when I wasnt even two years old and when I turned 18 and had the…"
26 minutes ago
Panda joined Karen's group
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I miss my Mom!

If you have that hole in your heart that you get when you lose the woman that you shared a body with....
30 minutes ago
KIM Montgomery commented on Jon-Paul Ackerman's group Lost My Spouse...
"Today is an especially rough day, can't really nail it down to one thing.  So many things going through my head.  I have had 2 weeks to my self to process everything that has happened in since my husband's diagnosis and passing.…"
2 hours ago
Hannah updated their profile
3 hours ago
Profile IconRilo, Rachel, Denise and 8 more joined Online Grief Support - A Social Community
3 hours ago
Linda Engberg commented on Katherine Ellis's group Losing Someone to Cancer
"Morgan, You said it perfect, there is nothing worth living for without my Husband to share it with."
5 hours ago
Theresa commented on Karen's group I miss my Mom!
"Its been one year and seven months it has not changed, but it does get "softer", you'll know what I mean. Every night I tell her I love her and I would love to hear her voice one more time.  "
7 hours ago
BLUEBELL commented on Karen's group I miss my Mom!
"And same here. I have bad days and tolerable days. I am having a real hard time without my Mom right now. Life just does not make sense anymore. But I keep going on through the motions of  living, hoping this deep sense of loss will ease…"
15 hours ago
KIM Montgomery replied to KIM Montgomery's discussion Grief in the group Lost My Spouse...
"Nancy, yes it sounds like there were a lot of similarities in our situations.  I married late and so we would have celebrated our 16th wedding anniversary on August 16th of this year.  Jack's birthday was 12/29/2017. Cancer took my…"
16 hours ago
Doug replied to Cathy 's discussion My brother's death cirrhosis
"Hello Nancy, I don't know how both you, and Cathy, can carry on as well as you have after losing someone you loved so much? It's unbelievable to me that your husband's doctor could be so inept as to never test his liver function,…"
17 hours ago
Esther and Michael Thompson are now friends
19 hours ago
Esther commented on Katherine Ellis's group Losing Someone to Cancer
"Today has been waves of numb detachment for me... I try to be positive and hopeful but sometimes we can't force it and must just tolerate the sadness"
19 hours ago
JO B commented on Katherine Ellis's group Losing Someone to Cancer
"sorry for evry 1 it goin thru hell i am  i feal k im livin in hell coz of all bad shit wev had coz of loss"
21 hours ago
Michael Thompson commented on Katherine Ellis's group Losing Someone to Cancer
"Morgan, how beautifully written...And spot on!"
21 hours ago
Joy commented on Karen's group I miss my Mom!
"Same here. As you said some days are tolerable while others are still bad. I try to keep myself distracted, but memories of my mom invade my thoughts throughout the day."
21 hours ago
morgan commented on Katherine Ellis's group Losing Someone to Cancer
"I have been struggling along trying to improve upon what I was left to deal with without my husbands unfailing support for four and half years.  I still want to die.  Everyday.  And of course he would want for me to not have to suffer…"
21 hours ago
Theresa commented on Karen's group I miss my Mom!
"Just wanted to see how everyone is doing, I have bad days and tolerable days. Its still very difficult, I miss her so much."
22 hours ago
Nancy replied to KIM Montgomery's discussion Grief in the group Lost My Spouse...
"Hi Kim.  We have a lot of similarities.  Lost my husband to an aggressive cancer May 10th.  We had his celebration of life May 19th and it was truly a celebration with music, stories, food, a bonfire.  Just what he would've…"
yesterday
Nancy commented on Katherine Ellis's group Losing Someone to Cancer
"I don't think you are being an A hole.  I just think maybe you've had more time to clearly think and grieve.  I hope to get to the point where I can live my life without despair every waking moment as well.  I appreciate…"
yesterday
Michael C. Ramsey commented on Katherine Ellis's group Losing Someone to Cancer
"Not trying to be an A-hole here folks but, C'mon waiting/wanting to die? My Andrea is gone almost 3 years and she is always on my mind. I have good days and bad days BUT I try to live whatever days I have left the way she would want me to. She…"
yesterday

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