Doug
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  • Port Royal, PA
  • United States
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Unbearable loneliness
3 Replies

I have been struggling with a Major Depressive Disorder for a very long time and have been to numerous psychiatrists searching for help all to no avail. Some time ago I found out that for a period of…Continue

Started this discussion. Last reply by Maggi Crowston-Boaler Apr 29.

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Latest Activity

Doug replied to Cathy 's discussion My brother's death cirrhosis
"Hello Nancy, I don't know how both you, and Cathy, can carry on as well as you have after losing someone you loved so much? It's unbelievable to me that your husband's doctor could be so inept as to never test his liver function,…"
Jul 23
Doug joined Diana, Grief Counselor's group
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I love my Dad.

For everyone that has lost their Dad.
Jul 16
Doug joined Steph's group
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How to move on...

How to move on after the loss of your significant other? Is this possible? When? Navigating through this process while also dealing with your grief. See More
Jul 16
Doug replied to Cathy 's discussion My brother's death cirrhosis
"Hello Morgan, I send my sincerest condolences to you for your loss and thank you for your kind words. I didn't share it in my post with Cathy, but when I was released from prison in 2006, I had moved to a new state because of an invitation by a…"
Jul 13
Cathy and Doug are now friends
Jul 13
Doug replied to Cathy 's discussion My brother's death cirrhosis
"Cathy, Please accept my deepest condolences on your brother's passing. When I first read the title of your post, "My brother's death cirrhosis", I can't begin to tell you how badly it affected me. Please let me explain, I,…"
Jul 13
Doug replied to Richard Rivera's discussion GETTING WEAKER NOT SURE HOW LONG
"Richard, I'm very sorry to hear about all that you're going through and I wish there was something I could do to ease your pain. Have you gone to a doctor or the emergency room at your local hospital yet? I can completely understand when…"
Jul 5
Doug replied to Clem's discussion Heroin finally won in the group Losing Someone to Drug Overdose
"Clem, There are no words that could assuage the pain you're going through. If there were I would certainly offer them to you.Your son sounds like he was a terrific guy and had to deal with more than he should have with the addiction as well as…"
Jun 12
Doug joined Laura Rozier's group
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Losing Someone to Drug Overdose

If you've lost someone you loved due to them overdosing on drugs, let's talk about it here.See More
Jun 12
Doug replied to Richard Rivera's discussion Anyone also form the New Jersey area?
"Hello,I no longer live in New Jersey, but spent a great portion of my life growing up there in places like Marlton, Edison, Medford. Mostly in South Jersey though. I have often thought of the same thing you have as I have some health issues and as a…"
Jun 3
Doug replied to Richard Rivera's discussion LIVING ALONE WITH NO ONE TO SPEAK TO? HOW??
"I know, and can feel, your unbelievable pain first hand. As I'm typing this, the need to end my own suffering today is as strong as it's ever been. There are no words adequate enough to lessen the pain you're feeling now, none.…"
Jun 1
Maggi Crowston-Boaler replied to Doug's discussion Unbearable loneliness
"October 22nd, 2012, my elder son was told he had late-stage Hodgkin's Lymphoma. Massive tumour on his right lung. Inoperable. Long story short: he went through HELL and he died just a month later. No counselling has ever been offered. I've…"
Apr 29
morgan replied to Doug's discussion Unbearable loneliness
"Doug,  I just read your post and I am so sorry that you have such a heavy burden of what life was and is.  Since my husbands death I've been on a quest to answer so many questions that seem to lead me to dead ends.  I can wonder…"
Apr 12
Doug posted a discussion

Unbearable loneliness

I have been struggling with a Major Depressive Disorder for a very long time and have been to numerous psychiatrists searching for help all to no avail. Some time ago I found out that for a period of about twelve years I had Hep C and never knew that I had it, until I began feeling sick everyday. I went to a doctor and was told that in the time I didn't know I had it, the virus had ravaged my liver and that my only hope was a transplant. My insurance company agreed that as a last ditch effort…See More
Apr 12
Doug replied to Kaitlyn W's discussion When Grief Overcomes You
"Hello Kaitlyn, I am terrible sorry for your loss and I think I know the pain you're going through because my Mom was diagnosed with this unbelievably cruel disease and after a heartbreaking struggle she passed away in November, 2008. I will…"
Mar 27
Doug replied to Pamela philipp's discussion I am alone
"Pamela, I know exactly what you're saying as I have experienced the same thing. People grieve in different ways and some people take longer to get to the point where you can function normally. You're right, it's a lot easier just to…"
Oct 9, 2016

Profile Information

About Me:
I have a difficult time explaining things about myself and I'm not sure why. At times I feel incredibly immature and overly emotional. It seems as if all my emotions are abnormal. By that I mean that compared to other people, my emotions seem to be extreme.
About my Loss:
You may find this strange and maybe not even possible, but the loss hasn't happened yet, but it will in the near future. Yet I still feel extremely sad and depressed and I've been that way for a very long time. My Mom died a few years back from Alzheimer's and my Dad provided her care until the very end. Now my Dad is suffering from Alzheimer's also and the fear I have of losing him is very real and unbelievably painful. I've waited too long to tell him exactly how I feel and the things I've always wanted to tell him, but put off.

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Latest Activity

Trina Mamoon commented on Jon-Paul Ackerman's group Lost My Spouse...
"Dear bluebird, There are no words to offer you as you mark the fifth anniversary of your beloved husband's passing. I can only say that I feel deeply for you, and my heart aches at your pain. I know the feeling you are describing only too well.…"
9 hours ago
Amy Cowan joined Karen's group
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I miss my Mom!

If you have that hole in your heart that you get when you lose the woman that you shared a body with....
10 hours ago
MIchael Ortiz commented on Bethany's blog post Drowning...
"Its been 3 months since I lost my love. I had to do it alone. I hope you have family or someone you can just vent and they just listen.I still feel pain and ups and downs.One second I think I am better and boom.Have no clue what sets it off. Do what…"
11 hours ago
bluebird commented on Bethany's blog post Drowning...
"You aren't doing it to yourself -- your grief and your loss are doing it to you.  It sucks, but that's what grief and loss do.  It's quite common to feel that things are getting better for a while, and then find yourself…"
11 hours ago
Alice Thompson commented on Jon-Paul Ackerman's group Lost My Spouse...
"I'm so sorry, Bluebird. The mornings are a nightmare, I agree, but the late evenings, that prospect of slipping into unconsciousness (if only it could be permanent)can be such a relief. Your steadfast, committed love for your husband shines out…"
11 hours ago
Brett Bowman commented on Karen's group I miss my Mom!
"Crystal, you know that you are not being the least bit irrational. My mom died on Christmas Eve. We all knew that it would be mom's last Christmas. She called him and asked him when he was coming. He said, "I'm not. My roommate is…"
13 hours ago
Nancy commented on Jon-Paul Ackerman's group Lost My Spouse...
"Exactly bluebird."
14 hours ago
bluebird commented on Jon-Paul Ackerman's group Lost My Spouse...
"I have to say, Nancy, I envy you the 43 years. My husband and I were together for nearly 13 years, but married for only one week when he died (massive, unexpected heart attack).  But no matter how long a couple is together, when they are truly…"
14 hours ago
Nancy commented on Jon-Paul Ackerman's group Lost My Spouse...
"I'm exactly where you are bluebird. Only it's only been 4 months. We were married 43 years. Got married young. I know no other life."
14 hours ago
bluebird commented on Mike H.'s blog post Repost: Is It Wrong to Grieve?
"No, of course it is not wrong to grieve.  My husband died 5 years ago today, and I will never stop grieving.  The course of grief and the response(s) to it are different for each person, and no one should ever tell another that…"
15 hours ago
bluebird commented on Beckie Preston's blog post Lost
"Do you have family and/or friends you can turn to for help?  Do you intend to continue with your pregnancy, and, if so, do you plan to keep and raise the baby? I think the emotional support of loved ones would be very helpful to you right now,…"
15 hours ago
bluebird replied to Gabby Freeland's discussion I gave up before everyone else did
"I don't think you should feel bad.  When someone is ill for a long time, it's natural to start grieving quite a long time before that person actually dies.  Besides, you felt that way in part because you didn't want your mum…"
15 hours ago
bluebird commented on Jon-Paul Ackerman's group Lost My Spouse...
"Today marks exactly five years since my husband died.  I still wish I had died when he did. For me, it's not the nights that are the worst part, it's the mornings.  Of course I do miss him at night -- I miss cuddling with him, I…"
15 hours ago
Crystal K commented on Karen's group I miss my Mom!
"Had better days than today.  My sister decides to move to my mom's native home for six months with her kids to renovate the house and in my head I'm yelling at her 'what's the use now. she's dead.'  My mom…"
16 hours ago
Patty replied to Karen's discussion STUPID things people say... " Vent Here " in the group Missing my Son or Daughter
"Wow, that is one of the stupidest things I have ever heard.    "
yesterday
Patty commented on Karen's group Missing my Son or Daughter
"I just passed 7 years.  Everything Karen said below is ditto for me :'("
yesterday
Karen commented on Karen's group Missing my Son or Daughter
"Sadly I seldom come to this page... I am so sorry about that ---  -I just hit a wall at some point where I realized I had nothing helpful to share & did not want to add to anyones pain.  -Brad's 10 year anniversary is drawing…"
yesterday
Karen replied to Karen's discussion STUPID things people say... " Vent Here " in the group Missing my Son or Daughter
"All these years later ... And when I do leave my house (as I have become so recluse) ---- I still hear insensitive comments just last week - I was told that not only was this gods plan I agreed to it before I was ever born.   ---- Where do…"
yesterday
Karen is now friends with Judith Borenin and Rita Estes
yesterday
John T. commented on Jon-Paul Ackerman's group Lost My Spouse...
"It's amazing the power of food shared together has.  I have broken down in the grocery store many times, almost every time I went during the first year.  Some things I can't go near and others give me great comfort.  I…"
yesterday

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