Donna Doucette
  • Female
  • Salem, WI
  • United States
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Donna Doucette and Allen W Blanchard SR are now friends
Feb 6, 2018
Donna Doucette left a comment for Allen W Blanchard SR
"Allen, I'm sorry for your loss.  I couldn't begin to imagine what you must be going thru. Losing a child is not the natural course of life, just isn't supposed to be this way. May God bless you."
Feb 5, 2018

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About my Loss:
My husband died about 1 1/2 years ago. He died a long painful death with brain tumors. He was so sick and it was so hard to care for him. He was so mean and so angry,when he passed I was almost relieved. I would like to see if anyone else experienced this.

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At 8:48pm on June 19, 2016, Susan said…

Donna, thank you for replying! I believe I can understand much of what you went through. I felt some relief mixed with the numbness when my husband died, too. The stress of walking on eggshells lessened a lot. For weeks I felt a numbness and expected him to come home any minute. But gradually my body was relaxing from the stress of dealing with him. My health was improving from the lack of stress and my Dr. appt's. showed it. My massage therapy app'ts. for fibromyalgia showed a much more relaxed body in places I couldn't control just by thinking about relaxing. I had systemic changes per my therapist who is excellent and has known me for about 24 years. I no longer take my muscle relaxer medication.

I am relieved to be out from under the abuse. I'm so much more peaceful and happier in my day-to-day living. I do miss the man I married very much. I miss the many good years and companionship we had when he was healthy. We shared many common interests. I only put up with the abuse because he was diagnosed with early onset dementia and was therefore sick and not in control.

But it changes how I grieve. I grieved tremendously prior to his death, not nearly so much after his death. I lost the man I loved prior to his death. Most people can't understand this because he kept up a front of friendliness to outsiders and was quite different at home. It was especially lonely for me because of this. Few people knew he was so different at home from the person he showed to the world.

Did any of this happen to you?

 
 
 

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Virginia G replied to Pamela philipp's discussion Defeated
"I feel the same.  The website doesn’t help because we aren’t talking and around people in person.  That isn’t even enough when people are willing to talk and most don’t have time for me."
1 minute ago
Brett Bowman commented on Karen's group I miss my Mom!
"You are right. I became conditioned with my mom. Every health crisis that my mom would have was traumatic for me. And then there would be that ray of light. I would have mom safe at home once again. I developed some false hope. But as time passed…"
3 hours ago
M Adams commented on Karen's group I miss my Mom!
"Baby steps is such a good metaphor — I think when we’ve been traumatized by terrible loss, many of us lose our resilience, and basically have to baby ourselves, setting very tiny goals and challenges, slowly working our way forward.…"
13 hours ago
Brett Bowman commented on Karen's group I miss my Mom!
"Theresa, it's hard for me to be positive about anything. I always feel like something bad is right around the corner. That's because every time I thought mom was safe and had cleared another hurdle, something else would go wrong. It's…"
yesterday
joe kelly commented on Jon-Paul Ackerman's group Lost My Spouse...
"It's been a little bit since I shared but it seems like I'm just stuck, out of sync with everything included myself in a way.  It's been like one long endless day.  I don't know how to explain it even.  I'm…"
yesterday
Linda Engberg commented on Jon-Paul Ackerman's group Lost My Spouse...
"Monty, For some of us, we will always remain out of sync with the rest of world. We, like myself. live in our own universe."
yesterday
Theresa commented on Karen's group I miss my Mom!
"Brett you are right that is the "dark" side, it scares me too That is so great about the phone call from the directors at the center, that must have made you feel like a million bucks.   You are making a positive impact, I know…"
yesterday
Brett Bowman commented on Karen's group I miss my Mom!
"Avi, I actually looked up the EquoVox. I couldn't find an English link for it. I'll keep looking. I'm just really curious how it works. And I want you to make your own decisions. I just want you to be happy."
Saturday
Brett Bowman commented on Karen's group I miss my Mom!
"M, I'm half Catholic, and Theresa is 100% Catholic. This is a huge part of Catholicism. Ouiji boards just scare the crap out of me. I listened to a lecture series from a Vatican exorcists. There was a question and answer period. Someone asked…"
Saturday
M Adams commented on Karen's group I miss my Mom!
"Brett, it gives me such a lift to hear about your new gig — sounds perfect! Lucky kids too, great when they can connect with an adult who also makes them laugh.   Your comment re the spirit world app that Avi came across brought back a…"
Friday
Brett Bowman commented on Karen's group I miss my Mom!
"Avi, things like that scare the crap out of me. I mean, how do you know that you are actually communicating with your mom, and not something bad? I believe that you may open yourself to something that may attach itself to you. That's just…"
Friday
Brenda Ann left a comment for Lisa
"Dear Lisa, I send you my heartfelt condolences as well as a welcome to our website. It is a safe place to come and talk or vent about your loss. Talking is very helpful in sorting out how to move forward. I would like to share a paragraph from what…"
Friday
P updated their profile
Friday
Theresa commented on Karen's group I miss my Mom!
"No we should not, God is the only communicator Avi, you are right. We should not disturb the deceased, they are in peace, it is us who are not in peace. I still struggle everyday, I just have come to recognize that this is my new life.  "
Friday
Linda Engberg commented on Jon-Paul Ackerman's group Lost My Spouse...
"Monty, I m sure everyone on our forum had a very bad day. I just kept myself very busy all. Since I live in Florida and it is in the 70's I worked outside all day long. I feel Julian is with when I am outside. He knew I just loved the outdoors…"
Friday
Avi commented on Karen's group I miss my Mom!
"Hi Friends,  Few days back I came to know an app EquoVox which can help you communicate with your loved ones who are deceased. It seems be fake to me but have seen some videos on you tube people claiming its real. Did anybody on this group…"
Friday
Profile IconValerie Groh, diane, Lisa and 6 more joined Online Grief Support - A Social Community
Thursday
Linda Engberg commented on Jon-Paul Ackerman's group Lost My Spouse...
"Trina, It is so true, my Julian and I celebrated everyday of our life together like you an Joseph. We were Blessed."
Thursday
Trina Mamoon commented on Jon-Paul Ackerman's group Lost My Spouse...
"Linda, thank you for the post. The words ring very true. Today is Valentine’s Day, but fortunately for me, Joseph and I didn’t always celebrate on this day. We didn’t feel that we had to show our love and devotion on a specific day…"
Thursday
Linda Engberg left a comment for Lisa
"Welcome to Online Grief Support it is a great community."
Thursday

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