Donna Doucette
  • Female
  • Salem, WI
  • United States

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  • Allen W Blanchard SR

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Donna Doucette and Allen W Blanchard SR are now friends
Feb 6
Donna Doucette left a comment for Allen W Blanchard SR
"Allen, I'm sorry for your loss.  I couldn't begin to imagine what you must be going thru. Losing a child is not the natural course of life, just isn't supposed to be this way. May God bless you."
Feb 5

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About my Loss:
My husband died about 1 1/2 years ago. He died a long painful death with brain tumors. He was so sick and it was so hard to care for him. He was so mean and so angry,when he passed I was almost relieved. I would like to see if anyone else experienced this.

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At 8:48pm on June 19, 2016, Susan said…

Donna, thank you for replying! I believe I can understand much of what you went through. I felt some relief mixed with the numbness when my husband died, too. The stress of walking on eggshells lessened a lot. For weeks I felt a numbness and expected him to come home any minute. But gradually my body was relaxing from the stress of dealing with him. My health was improving from the lack of stress and my Dr. appt's. showed it. My massage therapy app'ts. for fibromyalgia showed a much more relaxed body in places I couldn't control just by thinking about relaxing. I had systemic changes per my therapist who is excellent and has known me for about 24 years. I no longer take my muscle relaxer medication.

I am relieved to be out from under the abuse. I'm so much more peaceful and happier in my day-to-day living. I do miss the man I married very much. I miss the many good years and companionship we had when he was healthy. We shared many common interests. I only put up with the abuse because he was diagnosed with early onset dementia and was therefore sick and not in control.

But it changes how I grieve. I grieved tremendously prior to his death, not nearly so much after his death. I lost the man I loved prior to his death. Most people can't understand this because he kept up a front of friendliness to outsiders and was quite different at home. It was especially lonely for me because of this. Few people knew he was so different at home from the person he showed to the world.

Did any of this happen to you?


Latest Activity

Brett Bowman commented on Karen's group I miss my Mom!
"I'm glad that I was with my mom when she passed over. I was the last person that she saw and I was able to tell her that it was okay, but you bet I was haunted by all that I saw. There is no good way."
1 hour ago
BLUEBELL commented on Karen's group I miss my Mom!
"Actually, I am glad you did not see your Mom pass from this life to the next. I was there  for mine and it haunts me that I watched her struggled for breath. There are other things that happened before they took her away that I will never…"
2 hours ago
Theresa commented on Karen's group I miss my Mom!
"No she always used to say to me “you never know when it will be your time” I’m mad at myself for not being there and the reason was that I stopped at her house on the way to the hospital thinking they will have to get her settled…"
2 hours ago
Profile IconJade Rogers, Butterfly, Tammy* and 2 more joined Online Grief Support - A Social Community
3 hours ago
BLUEBELL commented on Karen's group I miss my Mom!
"I can relate. There is no definite diagnosis whether my Mom passed away from her heart condition or respiratory failure. I will never know. But there was nothing I could have done to prevent it. That was out of my control. I pray that you feel your…"
3 hours ago
Butterfly left a comment for Avi
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3 hours ago
Joy left a comment for Frances Koonce
"Thanks for your message Frances. I just saw it. I appreciate your kind words. God bless you.  I don’t post on this site likebI did when my mom first died. It’s still hard adjusting to her not being here.  Her death has helped…"
4 hours ago
Joy and Frances Koonce are now friends
4 hours ago
Theresa commented on Karen's group I miss my Mom!
"Bluebell, so glad for you I so wish I could have the same experience I finally after much though realized what it is that I am having a hard time with about my moms death.....why did she go in CA, I cry and realize that I will live with not knowing…"
4 hours ago
BLUEBELL commented on Karen's group I miss my Mom!
"I have made a decision to take baby steps to recover from the trauma of the bleed in my brain. The first step I am working on is thinking of myself as a whole person who has the desire and courage to return to living a life without thinking of…"
7 hours ago
Ginger commented on Susan Dee Leatham's blog post While I was sleeping
"Thanks Susan,for this very inspiring post, I lost my daughter on Feb. 18,2018 and reading this has given me so much more peace as I talk to her  everyday."
10 hours ago
bluebird replied to Elynn m's discussion Lonely
"I'm glad I was able to help a bit.  :)"
23 hours ago
Elynn m replied to Elynn m's discussion Lonely
"Thank you bluebird for the kind words.  That's a great idea to write to our friends.   I still send Christmas cards, and birthday cards, but I should send a card once in awhile too. Thank you for the advice."
bluebird replied to Elynn m's discussion Lonely
"I'm sorry you're feeling so down.  It's good that you have your children and your sister-in-law, but no one can take the place of your husband.  As far as your friends, it's quite possible that they just don't know…"
Donna Barringer updated their profile
Profile IconDonna Barringer and Angel Moore joined Online Grief Support - A Social Community
Crystal K and Avi are now friends
Linda Engberg commented on Jon-Paul Ackerman's group Lost My Spouse...
"Hi Elynn and Monty I have this picture right by my computer. It really helped me accept the fact that I will never stop grieve fro my Husband. I find no comfort with family and Friends, just my sweet little dog Babie J."
Elynn m commented on Jon-Paul Ackerman's group Lost My Spouse...
"thank you Monty for your comments.  I try to remind myself that friends don't know what they r doing, and they don't know what to say.   I know that everyone will face this at some time, but I cannot say that to friends,…"
Monty commented on Jon-Paul Ackerman's group Lost My Spouse...
"Hi Elynn sorry so to hear of your loss and how your feeling. My wife passed December last year and i have also found that people have stopped calling and don't come around. I too am feeling isolated and alone. Luckily for me i have my sister…"

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