Debra Lynn Gomez
  • Female
  • Cincinnati, OH
  • United States
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Brenda Ann left a comment for Debra Lynn Gomez
"Dear Debra, So so sorry for your loss and that you feel "stuck". It is good that you are reaching out to talk about how you feel. Every person grieves differently, in their own way and their own time. I lost my daughter for a time while…"
Apr 21, 2018
Debra Lynn Gomez is now a member of Online Grief Support - A Social Community
Apr 17, 2018

Profile Information

About Me:
I was a mother and a grandmother. I have been a caregiver to my siblings since the age of 10. I have been married to the father of my daughters for 38 years. I helped raised my sisters then my own children and then I helped raised all 4 or my grandchildren. I had been unhappy in my marriage throughout the whole 38 years and had planned on leaving the marriage and my home when my daughter got diagnosed. So I stayed and I was her sole caregiver 24/7. My daughters death reminded me of how truly short life is. After her cremation and celebration of life I had to leave for my own peace of mind. Of course that goes with out saying that although my other daughter and her father were supportive of my decision to leave some family and friends felt the need to tell me I was a horrible excuse for a mother and grandmother as my daughter and my grandchildren are also grieving I was going out of my mind. I have always put everyone else's needs before my own and now of course I am also grieving the loss of my child. Right now I am just stuck. Still wanting to keep everyone happy which I know is impossible. Everyday I wish for this all to be a dream, however it is my nightmare. I joined this group because I needed a place to come together with mothers who know exactly what I am going through.
About my Loss:
My daughter was 32 when she was diagnosed with stage 4 cervical cancer which has already spread to her lungs. She began treatment in July of 2017 and there was nothing left for the doctors to do. She turned 33 at the end of July one day before being allowed to leave the hospital after a month stay. She died on January 15th, 2018.

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At 12:49pm on April 21, 2018, Brenda Ann said…

Dear Debra,

So so sorry for your loss and that you feel "stuck". It is good that you are reaching out to talk about how you feel. Every person grieves differently, in their own way and their own time. I lost my daughter for a time while her life style put her life in jeopardy leaving every family value we had ever taught her. I felt like I was going to sink into a black hole which was my broken heart and disappear forever. The expressions "heavy hearted", "pain of heart" and "broken hearted" took on a reality. I could feel the weight of my own heart in my chest. I had pain right where my heart is located in my body, and that my heart was literally shattered. I had no idea what I was doing or what I should be doing. I felt so lost I couldn't take care of anyone, not even myself.

My heart breaks for you.....  I will listen anytime you need to talk.

Brenda

 
 
 

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Latest Activity

Silke B. and Brenda Ann are now friends
2 hours ago
joe kelly updated their profile
17 hours ago
joe kelly joined Katherine Ellis's group
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Losing Someone to Cancer

This is for anyone who has lost somone to cancer. I lost my adopted Mom to breast cancer some years ago. She was everything I could have asked for. She loved me because I was just me. She also loved my family and children as if they were her own.See More
17 hours ago
Ann updated their profile
18 hours ago
M Adams commented on M Adams's blog post Super blood wolf moon - lunar eclipse happening now
"Watching it alone last night was sad but I’m glad to have seen it."
yesterday
Trina Mamoon left a comment for morgan
"Dear morgan, I wanted to let you know that I am thinking of you today (January 21st) on the seventh anniversary of the passing of the love of your life. I know that “life” as we live it now after the death of our beloved spouse is worth…"
yesterday
Alex is now a member of Online Grief Support - A Social Community
yesterday
Brenda Ann left a comment for morgan
"Dear Morgan, You said, ”What the hell happened to him.  Where is he?  I want to know and I know that is impossible.”  I noticed these 2 questions that you asked and noticed that you don’t feel it is possible to find…"
yesterday
Linda Engberg commented on Jon-Paul Ackerman's group Lost My Spouse...
"Joe, What a beautiful picture of you and your wife and your gravestones will hold both your bodies but you souls will be united in another realm. Morgan,  You will be in thoughts my tomorrow as you try to make it through the…"
yesterday
M Adams posted a blog post

Super blood wolf moon - lunar eclipse happening now

The moon should appear at its reddest at about 9:12 p.m., with the event lasting until about 10:40 p.m.Kelly encourages people to take a look.  "You know, stop and look up and really think about [how] we are on this huge planet, moving around in space and there's very few times that we can actually be reminded and feel the effects of that," she said.See More
yesterday
morgan commented on Jon-Paul Ackerman's group Lost My Spouse...
"This website is like a secret world we inhabit where the platitudes and scorn for not fitting in are understood as hogwash.  We know better than anyone on the outside of our grief how this has affected us.  I am so tired of being labeled…"
yesterday
Nancy commented on Jon-Paul Ackerman's group Lost My Spouse...
"Lovely pictures everyone.   Thank you for sharing.   I am in the same boat.  I just exist.   "
yesterday
joe kelly commented on Jon-Paul Ackerman's group Lost My Spouse...
"I,m grateful that I found this site.  It's sort of like besides my family, you all are the only friends I have left.  I do have a couple that are long distance, but don't get to see them very often.  All my so called local…"
yesterday
joe kelly commented on Jon-Paul Ackerman's group Lost My Spouse...
"Here's one of our permanent bed with names blocked out."
yesterday
joe kelly commented on Jon-Paul Ackerman's group Lost My Spouse...
"Linda, We went on that same excursion off a cruise in 2003.  Here is a pic that was taken on the ship when we renewed our vows at a ceremony performed by the Captain."
yesterday
Linda Engberg commented on Jon-Paul Ackerman's group Lost My Spouse...
"Morgan & Joe, Thanks for sharing your thoughts. You put into words the horror I go through everyday. Going on year 7 without my Husband Julian. He was my whole life and I want to be with him but I can't. If I didn't believe in God I…"
Sunday
morgan commented on Jon-Paul Ackerman's group Lost My Spouse...
"Joe, 49 years is a long time.  Long enough to embed yourself in each other and there is nothing that will soothe the tearing apart of that union.  I knew my husband for 55 (since 2nd grade) and we were together for 35.  Long…"
Sunday
joe kelly commented on Jon-Paul Ackerman's group Lost My Spouse...
"Morgan, Monday will be a very tough day for both of us. It's one year for me which seems like one long day, and six for you, which scares the hell out of me thinking about how long do I have to be here before I go to her. It seems like one long…"
Saturday
morgan commented on Jon-Paul Ackerman's group Lost My Spouse...
"Lets be honest. Death sucks. As I read the posts on here and I see how we struggle when we lose someone to death it boggles the mind how any of us keep moving. I keep saying to myself there is something I can do to make myself feel better and it…"
Saturday
Emma is now a member of Online Grief Support - A Social Community
Saturday

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