So so sorry for your loss and that you feel "stuck". It is good that you are reaching out to talk about how you feel. Every person grieves differently, in their own way and their own time. I lost my daughter for a time while…"
I was a mother and a grandmother. I have been a caregiver to my siblings since the age of 10. I have been married to the father of my daughters for 38 years. I helped raised my sisters then my own children and then I helped raised all 4 or my grandchildren. I had been unhappy in my marriage throughout the whole 38 years and had planned on leaving the marriage and my home when my daughter got diagnosed. So I stayed and I was her sole caregiver 24/7. My daughters death reminded me of how truly short life is. After her cremation and celebration of life I had to leave for my own peace of mind. Of course that goes with out saying that although my other daughter and her father were supportive of my decision to leave some family and friends felt the need to tell me I was a horrible excuse for a mother and grandmother as my daughter and my grandchildren are also grieving I was going out of my mind. I have always put everyone else's needs before my own and now of course I am also grieving the loss of my child. Right now I am just stuck. Still wanting to keep everyone happy which I know is impossible. Everyday I wish for this all to be a dream, however it is my nightmare. I joined this group because I needed a place to come together with mothers who know exactly what I am going through.
About my Loss:
My daughter was 32 when she was diagnosed with stage 4 cervical cancer which has already spread to her lungs. She began treatment in July of 2017 and there was nothing left for the doctors to do. She turned 33 at the end of July one day before being allowed to leave the hospital after a month stay. She died on January 15th, 2018.
Comment Wall (1 comment)
You need to be a member of Online Grief Support - A Social Community to add comments!
So so sorry for your loss and that you feel "stuck". It is good that you are reaching out to talk about how you feel. Every person grieves differently, in their own way and their own time. I lost my daughter for a time while her life style put her life in jeopardy leaving every family value we had ever taught her. I felt like I was going to sink into a black hole which was my broken heart and disappear forever. The expressions "heavy hearted", "pain of heart" and "broken hearted" took on a reality. I could feel the weight of my own heart in my chest. I had pain right where my heart is located in my body, and that my heart was literally shattered. I had no idea what I was doing or what I should be doing. I felt so lost I couldn't take care of anyone, not even myself.
My heart breaks for you..... I will listen anytime you need to talk.
No comments yet!
Welcome to Online Grief Support - A Social Community
"I would say that your mom was fortunate that she did not suffer that way. Sometimes a person will suffer for years before they die. I am certainly glad that I got to be with my mom at the end and tell her that I loved her every day, but it was…"
"I know you know I did not mean it in that way, but of course not, my question, should I be thankful she did not suffer and lay in a bed and me have to watch her suffer and be able to do nothing as so many had to do on this site. But as you…"
Should I be thankful? My mom died in an instant she was herself until the last minute. Some say I’m lucky I didn’t have to watch her suffer. But my mom used to always say we suffer everyday in this earth.
I would have been…"
"Thanks Theressa. Yes hope the questions will be answered. In my country, lot of importance is given to Karma and it is believed that whatever you sow and you will reap the same. Not sure how this karma cycle is analyzed and who decided if this was a…"
"Yes Avi That’s what we all have to do we have to go on with our lives it’s so much easier said than done I cry sometimes uncontrollably I have hope that one day every question or any uncertainty we have will be answered"
"Same Brett, yesterday out of the blue driving home from work I burst into tears saying mom why didn't you wait for me to get there before you went in cardiac arrest, well now isn't that stupid on my part.
I feel that I am a…"
"I'll keep going though. I'll keep praying. I'll keep putting one foot in front of the other, but I do not seem to get anywhere.
I will always pray for a wink or a nod. Just something to let me know that the Lord is walking with…"
"Guys, my heart is just broken. So broken. It's not because of some kind of change. It's just three years of sadness that continues to pull me down, and makes me feel that there is very little hope. I am a very spiritual person. When lie…"
Thank you for your response, and for providing the link to your post about your NDE as well as describing it in more detail here. Although it's terrible that you were in that accident, in a way it was a blessing for you, in that it allows…"
"2012 September 30th. This fight is real. My only son was shot in the head. The girl and her brother were in the house when it happened. The told police that they were playing with the gun. Well a sister and brother will die and go to hell or heaven…"