"i miss mom so mush i do"
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Debra Lynn Gomez
- Female
- Cincinnati, OH
- United States
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- About Me:
- I was a mother and a grandmother. I have been a caregiver to my siblings since the age of 10. I have been married to the father of my daughters for 38 years. I helped raised my sisters then my own children and then I helped raised all 4 or my grandchildren. I had been unhappy in my marriage throughout the whole 38 years and had planned on leaving the marriage and my home when my daughter got diagnosed. So I stayed and I was her sole caregiver 24/7. My daughters death reminded me of how truly short life is. After her cremation and celebration of life I had to leave for my own peace of mind. Of course that goes with out saying that although my other daughter and her father were supportive of my decision to leave some family and friends felt the need to tell me I was a horrible excuse for a mother and grandmother as my daughter and my grandchildren are also grieving I was going out of my mind. I have always put everyone else's needs before my own and now of course I am also grieving the loss of my child. Right now I am just stuck. Still wanting to keep everyone happy which I know is impossible. Everyday I wish for this all to be a dream, however it is my nightmare. I joined this group because I needed a place to come together with mothers who know exactly what I am going through.
- About my Loss:
- My daughter was 32 when she was diagnosed with stage 4 cervical cancer which has already spread to her lungs. She began treatment in July of 2017 and there was nothing left for the doctors to do. She turned 33 at the end of July one day before being allowed to leave the hospital after a month stay. She died on January 15th, 2018.
Groups
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I miss my Mom!
751 members
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LESBIAN ..GAY 2 SPIRITE…
15 members
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Sibling Loss
9 members
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Loss of a child In memor…
29 members
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Too Young To Die
17 members
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Losing a Sister
93 members
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Multiple Losses Group
324 members
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Grief Counseling
140 members
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Zoom Grief Support
39 members
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Orphaned Adults
80 members
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Sole Survivors
15 members
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Losing a sibling
62 members
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Being the Other Woman/Ot…
43 members
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Compounded grief with ex…
49 members
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Lost both parents
12 members
Latest Activity
My husband
"Thanks, Rosie. (I have memory problems and forgot about this site. I'm just seeing this now. April 6th)"
LESBIAN ..GAY 2 SPIRITED loss and grief
Anyone who has lost their gay partner..soon finds that there may be a few things that are different...such as sorting through things and feeling like an intruder because it is also family stuff etcSee More
Assumptions
An assumption is an unexamined belief: what is thought to be true without ever really realizing that we think in that way. For better or worse, understanding starts with entertaining the idea that something is true. Truly profound thoughts generally come to light from the relaxation of these (flawed) assumptions. This is where I find myself today...Perhaps, one of the more significant drivers to pushing down the loss and grief at the time of the accident, ignoring it and mindlessly walking…See More
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Dear Debra,
So so sorry for your loss and that you feel "stuck". It is good that you are reaching out to talk about how you feel. Every person grieves differently, in their own way and their own time. I lost my daughter for a time while her life style put her life in jeopardy leaving every family value we had ever taught her. I felt like I was going to sink into a black hole which was my broken heart and disappear forever. The expressions "heavy hearted", "pain of heart" and "broken hearted" took on a reality. I could feel the weight of my own heart in my chest. I had pain right where my heart is located in my body, and that my heart was literally shattered. I had no idea what I was doing or what I should be doing. I felt so lost I couldn't take care of anyone, not even myself.
My heart breaks for you..... I will listen anytime you need to talk.
Brenda