Debbie Kelly
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  • Shelby, OH
  • United States
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Brenda Ann left a comment for Debbie Kelly
"Dear Debbie, I have thought about how you can help and the best information I can suggest is what I read in a brochure WHEN Someone You Love Dies under the subheading  Releasing Grief​—How? - Talking can be a helpful release.…"
Sunday
Brenda Ann left a comment for Debbie Kelly
"Something else that can facilitate the release of grief is crying. There is “a time to weep,” says the Bible. (Ecclesiastes 3:1, 4) Surely the death of someone we love brings on such a time. Shedding tears of grief appears…"
Sunday
Debbie Kelly is now a member of Online Grief Support - A Social Community
Apr 14

Profile Information

About Me:
I am the mother of a beautiful daughter who recently lost her husband. He was 42, she is 38.
About my Loss:
My son-in-law passed away 2 months ago today after a 19 day stay in ICU. He was 42 years old. My daughter, age 38, is, of course, grief stricken beyond words. She keeps everything bottled up inside and I have no idea how to help her even though I'm sure that I can't help her. But at least maybe I can try to understand some of what she is going through. I have been reading many of these posts and my heart is hurting so very much for my daughter's pain and, now, for these women that. Such a horrific, terrible, incredibly life-altering impact when your beloved spouse, your best friend, your confidant leaves you alone in this world.

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At 10:43am on April 22, 2018, Brenda Ann said…

Dear Debbie,

I have thought about how you can help and the best information I can suggest is what I read in a brochure WHEN Someone You Love Dies under the subheading 

Releasing Grief​—How? - Talking can be a helpful release. Following the death of all ten of his children, as well as some other personal tragedies, the ancient patriarch Job said: “My soul certainly feels a loathing toward my life. I will give vent to [Hebrew, “loose”] my concern about myself. I will speak in the bitterness of my soul!” (Job 1:2, 18, 19; 10:1) Job could no longer restrain his concern. He needed to let it loose; he  had to “speak.” Similarly, the English dramatist Shakespeare wrote in Macbeth: “Give sorrow words; the grief that does not speak whispers the o’er-fraught heart and bids it break.”

So talking about your feelings to “a true companion” who will listen patiently and sympathetically can bring a measure of relief. (Proverbs 17:17) Putting experiences and feelings into words often makes it easier to understand them and to deal with them. And if the listener is another bereaved person who has effectively dealt with his or her own loss, you may be able to glean some practical suggestions on how you can cope. When her child died, one mother explained why it helped to talk to another woman who had faced a similar loss: “To know that somebody else had gone through the same thing, had come out whole from it, and that she was still surviving and finding some sort of order in her life again was very strengthening to me.”

This is a journey that each person takes in their own way and in their own time. 

At 10:43am on April 22, 2018, Brenda Ann said…

Something else that can facilitate the release of grief is crying. There is “a time to weep,” says the Bible. (Ecclesiastes 3:1, 4) Surely the death of someone we love brings on such a time. Shedding tears of grief appears to be a necessary part of the healing process.

One young woman explains how a close friend helped her to cope when her mother died. She recalls: “My friend was always there  for me. She cried with me. She talked with me. I could just be so open with my emotions, and that was important to me. I didn’t have to be embarrassed about crying.” (See Romans 12:15.) Nor should you feel ashamed of your tears. As we have seen, the Bible is filled with examples of men and women of faith​—including Jesus Christ—​who openly shed tears of grief without any apparent embarrassment.​—Genesis 50:3; 2 Samuel 1:11, 12; John 11:33, 35. - Be this friend for your daughter.... I can see by your words you love her dearly.

I will listen anytime you need to talk.

Brenda

 
 
 

Latest Activity

BLUEBELL commented on Karen's group I miss my Mom!
""Grief counseling is not a magic bullet. We will feel what we feel until we heal." So true Brett. The counselor I see periodically does not push the grief process or closure. He encourages me to talk if I want to and gently gives…"
5 hours ago
CYBERSIS updated their profile
9 hours ago
Brett Bowman commented on Karen's group I miss my Mom!
"Bulebell, I don't think it is inappropriate at all to say I love you to this group. I love everyone here. This is a group that understands because we are all experiencing tremendous grief. I am so tired of random people telling me that I need…"
yesterday
BLUEBELL commented on Karen's group I miss my Mom!
"My Mom was cremated and her ashes were laid to rest in the ocean per her wishes. She wanted no services or even a celebration of her life. We honored her wishes, But I wish I had a place at a cemetery where I could go visit her. I think it might…"
yesterday
Theresa commented on Karen's group I miss my Mom!
"Bluebell, that is how the whole first year was for me after my mom passed, it was just a blur..."
yesterday
Theresa commented on Karen's group I miss my Mom!
"Marie my thoughts and prayers are with you, Brett is right we remember our moms everyday the same way, but for me it makes me feel happy to go to her grave and bring a flower and tell her I love her, but I tell her I love her every day and…"
yesterday
BLUEBELL commented on Karen's group I miss my Mom!
"Marie D, Thank you for your condolences. I am heartbroken every minute of the day about it. A couple of days after it happened, I offered to pick up his ashes and death certificates. It is 2 in the morning right now, so I am doing that today and…"
yesterday
Brett Bowman commented on Karen's group I miss my Mom!
"Marie, I am glad to see you post again. Mother's Day is my mom's birthday. Last years Mother's Day was really hard. I don't think it will be as bad this year. Seconds, minutes, and hours pass, and then it's another day. I…"
yesterday
Marie D commented on Karen's group I miss my Mom!
"Hi Brett, I am here, still struggling with deep depression. I need your and others advice, how do you handle Mother’s Day? This will be the first one since Mom passed on Christmas Day. I am overcome with grief, and dread just thinking about…"
yesterday
Madeleine replied to Madeleine's discussion What would you do if you could have your lost loved one back for just five minutes?
"Thank you - I totally agree. They never really leave us."
yesterday
Madeleine replied to Madeleine's discussion What would you do if you could have your lost loved one back for just five minutes?
"Hi Morgan, I'm so very sorry for your loss and heartbreak. It makes me wonder if asking people to write to their lost one on my website is just too much for many. I really hope people's words can make readers feel less alone in their grief…"
yesterday
morgan replied to Madeleine's discussion What would you do if you could have your lost loved one back for just five minutes?
"Madeleine, what would I do if I could have my husband back for just five minutes? My first reaction would be to run into his arms, hug him and then make mad passionate love like we did so many times and then I would ask him if I could take the pills…"
yesterday
dream moon JO B updated their profile
yesterday
dream moon JO B replied to Madeleine's discussion What would you do if you could have your lost loved one back for just five minutes?
"noy let go but i no ther is afrer lifess coz thy can vist us is m ush is thy need 2 esplyyy wen we need thm "
yesterday
dream moon JO B commented on Jesse's Mom's group Signs from Our Loved Ones
"lst 4 wks iv bean goin 2 spirtalstt churshes lot of pepepel had mesagess off lovesd 1s thy hav evn off e pepeepl it die ovr 60 or 70 or80 yrs go "
yesterday
Brett Bowman commented on Karen's group I miss my Mom!
"My sister kept some of my mom's voicemail to her. There is no way that I could listen to it. She also took some video footage of her while she was on Hospice. Seeing those would be very painful. Like you, looking through a photo album is so…"
Tuesday
Crystal K commented on Karen's group I miss my Mom!
"This is just so hard and I know we are all going through it... I just wish they told me it was going to hurt this much- I would've spent every minute with my mom and learned everything about her :( "
Tuesday
Crystal K commented on Karen's group I miss my Mom!
"Thank you Brett. I do try to honor her but it is so painful.  I attended church service yesterday. I think I did pretty well.  No unexpected outbursts. But then I came home and found an old album of photos, saw a picture of me and my mom…"
Tuesday
AnneJ. commented on Virginia G's blog post Post traumatic stress disorder
"Virginia, personally I am convinced, looking back, that my brain put up a shield to protect my mind from the devastating scene of my husband of 20 years dropping to his death in the shower. I'm still 99% nuts and that's the truth.…"
Tuesday
Madeleine posted a discussion

What would you do if you could have your lost loved one back for just five minutes?

Hi, I'm new to this site and would love to share my new project inspired by the loss of my mom 24 years ago - www.yourjustfiveminutes.com.Just Five Minutes was created to help those dealing with grief reconnect to their lost loved one, either by dreaming the impossible, or by simply reading other peoples' words who may be experiencing a similar sense of loss as you.It asks one question: 'What would you do if... came…See More
Monday

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