Debbie Kelly
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  • Shelby, OH
  • United States
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Brenda Ann left a comment for Debbie Kelly
"Dear Debbie, I have thought about how you can help and the best information I can suggest is what I read in a brochure WHEN Someone You Love Dies under the subheading  Releasing Grief​—How? - Talking can be a helpful release.…"
Apr 22
Brenda Ann left a comment for Debbie Kelly
"Something else that can facilitate the release of grief is crying. There is “a time to weep,” says the Bible. (Ecclesiastes 3:1, 4) Surely the death of someone we love brings on such a time. Shedding tears of grief appears…"
Apr 22
Debbie Kelly is now a member of Online Grief Support - A Social Community
Apr 14

Profile Information

About Me:
I am the mother of a beautiful daughter who recently lost her husband. He was 42, she is 38.
About my Loss:
My son-in-law passed away 2 months ago today after a 19 day stay in ICU. He was 42 years old. My daughter, age 38, is, of course, grief stricken beyond words. She keeps everything bottled up inside and I have no idea how to help her even though I'm sure that I can't help her. But at least maybe I can try to understand some of what she is going through. I have been reading many of these posts and my heart is hurting so very much for my daughter's pain and, now, for these women that. Such a horrific, terrible, incredibly life-altering impact when your beloved spouse, your best friend, your confidant leaves you alone in this world.

Comment Wall (2 comments)

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At 10:43am on April 22, 2018, Brenda Ann said…

Dear Debbie,

I have thought about how you can help and the best information I can suggest is what I read in a brochure WHEN Someone You Love Dies under the subheading 

Releasing Grief​—How? - Talking can be a helpful release. Following the death of all ten of his children, as well as some other personal tragedies, the ancient patriarch Job said: “My soul certainly feels a loathing toward my life. I will give vent to [Hebrew, “loose”] my concern about myself. I will speak in the bitterness of my soul!” (Job 1:2, 18, 19; 10:1) Job could no longer restrain his concern. He needed to let it loose; he  had to “speak.” Similarly, the English dramatist Shakespeare wrote in Macbeth: “Give sorrow words; the grief that does not speak whispers the o’er-fraught heart and bids it break.”

So talking about your feelings to “a true companion” who will listen patiently and sympathetically can bring a measure of relief. (Proverbs 17:17) Putting experiences and feelings into words often makes it easier to understand them and to deal with them. And if the listener is another bereaved person who has effectively dealt with his or her own loss, you may be able to glean some practical suggestions on how you can cope. When her child died, one mother explained why it helped to talk to another woman who had faced a similar loss: “To know that somebody else had gone through the same thing, had come out whole from it, and that she was still surviving and finding some sort of order in her life again was very strengthening to me.”

This is a journey that each person takes in their own way and in their own time. 

At 10:43am on April 22, 2018, Brenda Ann said…

Something else that can facilitate the release of grief is crying. There is “a time to weep,” says the Bible. (Ecclesiastes 3:1, 4) Surely the death of someone we love brings on such a time. Shedding tears of grief appears to be a necessary part of the healing process.

One young woman explains how a close friend helped her to cope when her mother died. She recalls: “My friend was always there  for me. She cried with me. She talked with me. I could just be so open with my emotions, and that was important to me. I didn’t have to be embarrassed about crying.” (See Romans 12:15.) Nor should you feel ashamed of your tears. As we have seen, the Bible is filled with examples of men and women of faith​—including Jesus Christ—​who openly shed tears of grief without any apparent embarrassment.​—Genesis 50:3; 2 Samuel 1:11, 12; John 11:33, 35. - Be this friend for your daughter.... I can see by your words you love her dearly.

I will listen anytime you need to talk.

Brenda

 
 
 

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Monty replied to Pamela philipp's discussion FAILING in the group Lost My Spouse...
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Virginia G commented on Karen's group I miss my Mom!
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Virginia G commented on Karen's group I miss my Mom!
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Brett Bowman commented on Karen's group I miss my Mom!
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Theresa commented on Karen's group I miss my Mom!
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Profile IconAshley Gatehouse, Maria Allen and Lori Gersbeck joined Online Grief Support - A Social Community
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Lori Gersbeck joined Julie Dolsey-Weiss's group
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Orphaned Adults

This group is for adults who have lost both parents and are struggling with coming to terms with this impact, which is harder then you realize till it happens to you.
Friday
Fran replied to Pamela philipp's discussion FAILING in the group Lost My Spouse...
"You are not a failure! You are a survivor. It's hard to continue a life that was balanced and enriched by a truly loved spouse.  Just do what helps YOU go on."
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Crystal Parker posted photos
Friday
Brett Bowman commented on Karen's group I miss my Mom!
"Virginia, my dad was horrible. My mom and my brothers and sister moved to NC where mom had family. I was six. We found a little house to rent. We had left all of our furniture at our house in Ky. I remember the day the moving truck came to our new…"
Friday
Brett Bowman commented on Karen's group I miss my Mom!
"Bluebell, I do not know if you have the same symptoms that I did. It was scary. I was in my shower one day. I was looking at my bottle of shampoo and I couldn't remember what to do with it. And then when I reached for it, it was like my arm was…"
Friday
Virginia G commented on Karen's group I miss my Mom!
"Pamela, Those are hurtful things you had to deal with.  I am so fortunate that drinking was never a frequent activity with most of my family.  The only thing I can say is this.  I am the one feeling guilty, desperately hoping my Mom…"
Thursday
BLUEBELL commented on Karen's group I miss my Mom!
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Thursday
Virginia G commented on Karen's group I miss my Mom!
"Brett, the dr may realize that he didn’t tell me what was going on in the hospital and that’s why I have all the questions.  I blame myself for getting upset with him, then not seeking him out but he might feel responsible. I…"
Thursday
Pamela philipp commented on Karen's group I miss my Mom!
"Virginia yes I will tell you what she lied about who my father is my mother told me the man who is on my birth certificate was my father but he told me I was not his daughter and I look like my so called step father who raised me since I was a baby…"
Thursday
Virginia G commented on Karen's group I miss my Mom!
"Bluebell, Are you having more symptoms to make you think this?  Or is it from the anxiety of the one you had?  Did they say how long it would take for it to resolve?  "
Thursday

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