Debbie Kelly
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  • Shelby, OH
  • United States
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Brenda Ann left a comment for Debbie Kelly
"Dear Debbie, I have thought about how you can help and the best information I can suggest is what I read in a brochure WHEN Someone You Love Dies under the subheading  Releasing Grief​—How? - Talking can be a helpful release.…"
Apr 22
Brenda Ann left a comment for Debbie Kelly
"Something else that can facilitate the release of grief is crying. There is “a time to weep,” says the Bible. (Ecclesiastes 3:1, 4) Surely the death of someone we love brings on such a time. Shedding tears of grief appears…"
Apr 22
Debbie Kelly is now a member of Online Grief Support - A Social Community
Apr 14

Profile Information

About Me:
I am the mother of a beautiful daughter who recently lost her husband. He was 42, she is 38.
About my Loss:
My son-in-law passed away 2 months ago today after a 19 day stay in ICU. He was 42 years old. My daughter, age 38, is, of course, grief stricken beyond words. She keeps everything bottled up inside and I have no idea how to help her even though I'm sure that I can't help her. But at least maybe I can try to understand some of what she is going through. I have been reading many of these posts and my heart is hurting so very much for my daughter's pain and, now, for these women that. Such a horrific, terrible, incredibly life-altering impact when your beloved spouse, your best friend, your confidant leaves you alone in this world.

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At 10:43am on April 22, 2018, Brenda Ann said…

Dear Debbie,

I have thought about how you can help and the best information I can suggest is what I read in a brochure WHEN Someone You Love Dies under the subheading 

Releasing Grief​—How? - Talking can be a helpful release. Following the death of all ten of his children, as well as some other personal tragedies, the ancient patriarch Job said: “My soul certainly feels a loathing toward my life. I will give vent to [Hebrew, “loose”] my concern about myself. I will speak in the bitterness of my soul!” (Job 1:2, 18, 19; 10:1) Job could no longer restrain his concern. He needed to let it loose; he  had to “speak.” Similarly, the English dramatist Shakespeare wrote in Macbeth: “Give sorrow words; the grief that does not speak whispers the o’er-fraught heart and bids it break.”

So talking about your feelings to “a true companion” who will listen patiently and sympathetically can bring a measure of relief. (Proverbs 17:17) Putting experiences and feelings into words often makes it easier to understand them and to deal with them. And if the listener is another bereaved person who has effectively dealt with his or her own loss, you may be able to glean some practical suggestions on how you can cope. When her child died, one mother explained why it helped to talk to another woman who had faced a similar loss: “To know that somebody else had gone through the same thing, had come out whole from it, and that she was still surviving and finding some sort of order in her life again was very strengthening to me.”

This is a journey that each person takes in their own way and in their own time. 

At 10:43am on April 22, 2018, Brenda Ann said…

Something else that can facilitate the release of grief is crying. There is “a time to weep,” says the Bible. (Ecclesiastes 3:1, 4) Surely the death of someone we love brings on such a time. Shedding tears of grief appears to be a necessary part of the healing process.

One young woman explains how a close friend helped her to cope when her mother died. She recalls: “My friend was always there  for me. She cried with me. She talked with me. I could just be so open with my emotions, and that was important to me. I didn’t have to be embarrassed about crying.” (See Romans 12:15.) Nor should you feel ashamed of your tears. As we have seen, the Bible is filled with examples of men and women of faith​—including Jesus Christ—​who openly shed tears of grief without any apparent embarrassment.​—Genesis 50:3; 2 Samuel 1:11, 12; John 11:33, 35. - Be this friend for your daughter.... I can see by your words you love her dearly.

I will listen anytime you need to talk.

Brenda

 
 
 

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Profile IconMaria and Robyn joined Online Grief Support - A Social Community
1 hour ago
Brett Bowman commented on Karen's group I miss my Mom!
"Avi, I wish you more than 20-25 years. No girl should lose their daddy when she is still so young."
18 hours ago
Avi commented on Karen's group I miss my Mom!
"Yes Brett. A bit of rough phase but coping up to do things as mentioned by Selv. To do work to earn and other things.  One thing which is driving me is my angel (my 4 months daughter). Her name is Kiana and her smile is my driving force to…"
18 hours ago
Brett Bowman commented on Karen's group I miss my Mom!
"Avi, I feel like you are going through a rough time right now. You're not alone. One of the great things about a site like this is that you are a world away but I know who you are and I know that you are missing your mom just as much as I am.…"
yesterday
Avi commented on Karen's group I miss my Mom!
"Agree Brett. Completely. My mother used to worry about small things and I used to get irritated sometimes. But now I miss it"
yesterday
Brett Bowman commented on Karen's group I miss my Mom!
"My mom worried about every detail of my life. There are some who would say that is intrusive. I felt that she was just being a mom. I miss that so much. I had the flu last year. I was laying in that bed and all I could hear was silence. My mom would…"
yesterday
Avi commented on Karen's group I miss my Mom!
"Good morning Adams. It is 9:40 AM in India and I am at my job and trying to concentrate hard as my Mom always wanted.  I have almost stopped complaining of anything in life now as I have already lost my most precious gift. Now what ever I have…"
yesterday
morgan and joe kelly are now friends
Sunday
M Adams commented on Karen's group I miss my Mom!
"Avi, the fact that you were close enough with your mother to share your negative feelings about your job shows real intimacy, which I think is what loving mothers treasure above all else.  So hard accepting that we will not hear that beloved…"
Sunday
Profile IconCilvia and Aimee Hall Fuszard joined Online Grief Support - A Social Community
Sunday
Avi commented on Karen's group I miss my Mom!
"Even my mother always used to say that live your life fully but I was always complaining on some matters. She used to worry about me the most as I was not stable in my job and used to talk about quitting it often. She always used to say, love your…"
Sunday
Theresa commented on Karen's group I miss my Mom!
"Brett, my mom said those exact words....."
Saturday
morgan commented on Alice Thompson's status
"Alice,  I regret not getting it together to write on Dec 2nd as I recall that was your anniversary of your husbands death date.  I have just been swimming upstream through the rapids.  Each year during the "seasonal"…"
Saturday
Brett Bowman commented on Karen's group I miss my Mom!
"Your mom sounds a lot like mine. She also used to say, "I lived my life, now you have to live yours." "
Saturday
Theresa commented on Karen's group I miss my Mom!
"You know what when my mom could not be resuscitated, her eyes were wide open and looking toward the right towards me as I walked in, she saw me I know it.  I shut her eyes.  I wanted the hospital staff to leave me alone.  They were…"
Saturday
SeLV commented on Karen's group I miss my Mom!
"Let those tears flow.."
Saturday
Alice Thompson posted a status
"Still here; still missing my love with all my heart; hoping we can all get through another lonely holiday season."
Saturday
Brett Bowman commented on Karen's group I miss my Mom!
"SelV, your mom would have had it no other way. She saw you take your first breath. You saw her take her last. I experienced that as well. If I had my way, I would have gone before my mom. Is that selfish of me? Yes. I don't care. Losing mom was…"
Saturday
SeLV commented on Karen's group I miss my Mom!
"Dear all...the thought "What if I had died due to unforeseen circumstances and my elderly widowed mother had to grief my death?" crossed my mind many times. Knowing my mother, her world (of me and her) would have collapsed and she would…"
Saturday
Brett Bowman commented on Karen's group I miss my Mom!
"I think you're right, Theresa. We are a sad bunch. I think our moms would be touched that we love them so much, but they would probably also want us to be happy and move on. I just don't think that's possible, nor do I believe that my…"
Saturday

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