I am so happy that you found this website and that you feel like you can talk to us. Talking about your feelings to “a true companion” who will listen patiently and sympathetically can bring a measure of relief. (Proverbs 17:17) Putting experiences and feelings into words often makes it easier to understand them and to deal with them. And if the listener is another bereaved person who has effectively dealt with his or her own loss, you may be able to glean some practical suggestions on how you can cope. When her child died, one mother explained why it helped to talk to another woman who had faced a similar loss: “To know that somebody else had gone through the same thing, had come out whole from it, and that she was still surviving and finding some sort of order in her life again was very strengthening to me.” What if you are not comfortable talking about your feelings? Following the death of Saul and Jonathan, David composed a highly emotional dirge in which he poured out his grief. This mournful composition eventually became part of the written record of the Bible book of Second Samuel. (2 Samuel 1:17-27; 2 Chronicles 35:25) Similarly, some find it easier to express themselves in writing. One widow reported that she would write down her feelings and then days later read over what she had written. She found this a helpful release. Whether by talking or writing, communicating your feelings can help you to release your grief. It can also help to clear up misunderstandings. A bereaved mother explains: “My husband and I heard of other couples that got divorced after losing a child, and we didn’t want that to happen to us. So any time we felt angry, wanting to blame each other, we would talk it out. I think we really grew closer together by doing that.” Thus, letting your feelings be known can help you to understand that even though you may be sharing the same loss, others may grieve differently—at their own pace and in their own way.
It is so difficult to find the "right" words. I want to comfort you but don't know what words might be comforting. The one thing I want to do is to send a (((((HUG))))) the second thing I have learned is to talk to someone that cares. Don't bottle it all up and just suffer.
Talking can be a helpful release. Following the death of all ten of his children, as well as some other personal tragedies, the ancient patriarch Job said: “My soul certainly feels a loathing toward my life. I will give vent to [Hebrew, “loose”] my concern about myself. I will speak in the bitterness of my soul!” (Job 1:2,18, 19;10:1) Job could no longer restrain his concern. He needed to let it loose; he had to “speak.” Similarly, the English dramatist Shakespeare wrote in Macbeth: “Give sorrow words; the grief that does not speak whispers the o’er-fraught heart and bids it break.”
I will listen anytime you need me to...
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Welcome to Online Grief Support - A Social Community
"I am so sorry Mary Kay. Our hearts were broken when we lost our dad. My sister-in-law had told us to prepare that tears and grief would come in waves...out of nowhere. One of my cousins had lost her dad before us and she spoke some wise words to us:…"
"Welcome, Mary Kay, I am so deeply sorry for your loss. I can relate to everything you wrote about the loss of your beloved dad, except I was alone with him in the hospital when he passed away. It's the worst thing in the world to lose the…"
I am a newbie. I lost my father on May 22nd at 2.22am. He was 92 years old. Loosing him is the hardest thing I have ever gone through. I really miss him. We were able to have a funeral for him but there were so many…"