I lost the most important person to me 10 days after my 25th birthday- my mom. Still dealing with all the emotions that come with such a significant loss. Its hard, very hard. Life feels empty. I don't enjoy much anymore. Any joy I have is overcast with a dark cloud of sadness. I'm angry, and sad. I have lost others but nothing could prepare me for this.
Now I don't know what the word is to describe the amount of pain and abandonment I feel from losing my mom. Feel like I don't have anyone to rely on. Never was close to my dad. Sisters moved out 10 years ago so although I love them, I am not very close as I once was.
If it was possible I would exchange places with her in a heartbeat, not because of how painful it is- but so she could've lived longer and enjoyed her grandchildren (my sister's kids). She was such a selfless mother, grandmother, sister, caretaker- that she did not deserve to go out the way she did.
Comment Wall (4 comments)
You need to be a member of Online Grief Support - A Social Community to add comments!
Hi Crystal, happy birthday. My birthday is also tomorrow and I also dream of my mom occasionally. I dreamed of her last night. She's been gone a little over a year and it's not gotten any better for me. I'm functioning, but I think of her all day every day.
Crystal, like you, I talk to my mom daily. Whether she can hear me is unknown. I do believe God hears me, so I ask him to tell my mom how much I love her, miss her and wish I could see her to give her a hug. I'd give up everything I own to see her again
No comments yet!
Welcome to Online Grief Support - A Social Community
"Maybe open yourself up, try to ride that love and passion I see in you. You loved your husband so deeply, focus on that. Maybe we are still here because we need to evolve a bit more or do something that God wants us to do.
looking back I feel you…"
"If you focus on the light and the good, that’s is God! I have felt it, I don’t know anything about plans or why people get taken before others but I do know that wherever that next realm is I’m ready to go I am not…"
"That's great that you have no doubt about the existence of an afterlife. I doubt there's a god, but if there is one I'm not convinced it's a loving God, as it allowed my husband to die young(-ish) and one week after our wedding.…"
Over the years I have thought that Bluebird gets it much more than almost everyone who has written about this - at least from my point of view. At the root of this, I think, it's the absence of their presence that hurts so much. I…"
"bluebird I can’t help but hold out hope in reading all these entries from people that some of them made it to the next realm. That is the reason we don’t hear from some anymore, because they passed on with with their loved ones.
"Jeff, Amazing isn't it? I keep asking myself how it is I could still hurt so much from having my husband no longer with me on this earthly plane. Not because I don't know it isn't possible but more, what is it that…"
I believe that every consciousness/spirit/soul is immortal. I, or no one in our limited dimensional world can prove that right or wrong. I can't prove my OBE either. All I can do is share it. Your original post…"
Thank you. I hope with everything in my soul that you are right about that, and I wish I shared your faith in that regard.
If you and I have already discussed this, I apologise for repeating myself (my memory is not what it once was, and my…"
"I saw both of your posts on my profile. If nothing else, maybe rock-climbing and the like will help to distract you for a little while. And you're right, it is absolutely not fair that our beloved partners have died. I know that my husband and…"
"Hope these rituals bring comfort to you, Martee. I have kept the ashes of my husband as well, just don’t want to part with them. It has been more than three years since his death — but I don’t feel like there is a…"
"Reading your posts, and many who post here, I think you're going to be joyously surprised when you pass over.
"The worst thing about all of this is not knowing if my sweet, wonderful husband's soul still exists, as it…"
"So sorry for your loss and pain, my soulmate died 1/29/20, been so bad for me to. I don’t let people know too much, no way I want to be taken out of my house. I feel like some people just want to watch me crash and are more nosey than…"
Thank you for your posts. Even though you don't have absolute proof of an afterlife, your out-of-body experience seems to have provided you with some level of surety, which I think is wonderful, and I must admit I'm jealous of you for…"
It doesn't make it easier so to speak. What will help is when I allow my doctor to do some imaging, in the weeks or perhaps a couple of months ahead, I'll let him scan me, and since now I know something is spreading…"