Crystal K
  • Female
  • Honolulu, HI
  • United States
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Latest Activity

Marine Marietta replied to Crystal K's discussion Its hard accepting my mother's death in the group I miss my Mom!
"Hi everyone. Thank you all for your sharing,I dont feel alone because I identify with you all. I am deeply greatful. My dear mother passed 20th September. I was angry with my sister because of how she treated my mother. I begged my mother to live…"
Thursday
Crystal K updated their profile
Wednesday
Crystal K commented on Julie Dolsey-Weiss's group Traumatic, Sudden Loss
"Thanks Stewart. I know I couldn't have known she was gonna die. Nobody did.  I try to tell myself that on my bad days. But grief is a funny thing. We know that our thoughts are irrational and doesnt' make sense, but we…"
Oct 13
Crystal K joined Desiree's group
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When will the ache subside?

A group for people who have lost loved ones with prolonged suffering. For those of us who have seen that the end is coming, and had to watch the ones we love creep toward it.
Oct 12
Crystal K commented on Julie Dolsey-Weiss's group Traumatic, Sudden Loss
"Lost my mom suddenly three months ago. She had kidney failure but was hospitalized for a foot infection and found out she had end stage heart failure and died from it within a week. I feel angry at everything and…"
Oct 12
Crystal K joined Julie Dolsey-Weiss's group
Oct 12
Bryan Kelly Reeves left a comment for Crystal K
"just your story, why your are here, what you battle (anger, fear, etc)"
Oct 9
Crystal K commented on Jennifer L Gebhardt's group caregiver
"I understand how you feel Jennifer.  I too was my mom's caregiver for the last three years.   I am grateful for the time with her and that I was able to take care of her like she did me, but I am angry that no one really helped…"
Oct 9
Crystal K left a comment for Bryan Kelly Reeves
"Hi Bryan, saw your comment. what type of project are you doing?"
Oct 9
Bryan Kelly Reeves left a comment for Crystal K
"Id love yo exchange stories sometime. Also Im working on a project for my masters degree and need to have contact with 5 people and ask them a few questions."
Oct 9
Crystal K commented on Karen's group I miss my Mom!
"This weekend was harder than most. My mom's medical records from when she was hospitalized came in. And all the feelings of guilt and regret came flashing back.   Turns out the silent heart attack she had days before she went to the…"
Oct 9
Crystal K joined Jennifer L Gebhardt's group
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caregiver

I was a caregiver to my mom for just over 4 years. She moved in with me after finding out she had breast cancer. I went to every single Dr appointment with her, every chemo, radiation and to her head shaving. I have 3 sister's and 1 brother but they didn't do anything to help. I felt so alone during the last few months of my mother's life that it's hard not to be angry at my siblings for not helping more. I look in every room of my home and see mom everywhere. I feel lost without her here. See More
Oct 9
Crystal K commented on Karen's group I miss my Mom!
"Its been three months now since my mom died. I'm slowly getting used to life without her, although its a much sadder, darker life.   Just wanted to share something with everyone going through this.. In the first few weeks after my…"
Oct 5
Crystal K commented on Karen's group I miss my Mom!
"Brett I feel your pain.   Sometimes I dream that my mom is still alive and I'm so happy that she is just to wake up and find out it wasn't real.   Its been getting better or should I say more bearable. The first month I…"
Oct 2

Profile Information

About my Loss:
I lost the most important person to me 10 days after my 25th birthday- my mom. Still dealing with all the emotions that come with such a significant loss. Its hard, very hard. Life feels empty. I don't enjoy much anymore. Any joy I have is overcast with a dark cloud of sadness. I'm angry, and sad. I think the pain is even more significant because I have lost other loved ones within 5 years and I feel like I'm just too young to go through so much loss.

I lost my very close uncle in 2012 when I was 20. Lost my cousin in 2013, and my grandmother who was a 2nd mom to me in 2014. Now I have lost my mom, just 3 years after my grandmom. I was heartbroken when my grandma died. Now I don't know what the word is to describe the amount of pain and abandonment I feel from losing my mom. Feel like I don't have anyone to rely on. Never was close to my dad. Sisters moved out 10 years ago so although I love them, I am not very close as I once was.

If it was possible I would exchange places with her in a heartbeat, not because of how painful it is- but so she could've lived longer and enjoyed her grandchildren (my sister's kids). She was such a selfless mother, grandmother, sister, caretaker- that she did not deserve to go out the way she did.

Comment Wall (3 comments)

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At 9:33pm on October 9, 2017, Bryan Kelly Reeves said…

just your story, why your are here, what you battle (anger, fear, etc)

At 5:16pm on October 9, 2017, Bryan Kelly Reeves said…

Id love yo exchange stories sometime. Also Im working on a project for my masters degree and need to have contact with 5 people and ask them a few questions.

At 7:23pm on September 20, 2017, Joy said…

Crystal, like you, I talk to my mom daily. Whether she can hear me is unknown. I do believe God hears me, so I ask him to tell my mom how much I love her, miss her and wish I could see her to give her a hug. I'd give up everything I own to see her again

 
 
 

Latest Activity

Profile IconAmy Cabrera, Brenda, Lisa and 8 more joined Online Grief Support - A Social Community
3 hours ago
Brett Bowman commented on Karen's group I miss my Mom!
"Theresa, you can never say it enough. I kept thinking that my mom had taken her last breath, and then she would take one more breath. I kept saying, "I love you mom." When she finally did take her last breath, I wanted her to take another…"
yesterday
Theresa commented on Karen's group I miss my Mom!
"God bless you Luisa, he will be there to give you strength tomorrow. For my mom she passed on the 19th of December, she was cremated on the following Monday, and I had to wait until after the Holidays to have her graveside service which was on New…"
yesterday
Brett Bowman commented on Karen's group I miss my Mom!
"Luisa, My mom's funeral was delayed because of her death date (Christmas Eve). We had to wait until everyone was back in town from their holiday visiting. I think, I try not to think too much about that time, that it was almost two weeks before…"
yesterday
Luisa Salter commented on Karen's group I miss my Mom!
"Hi everyone, just checking in. I'm sad to hear all the trouble with beloved pets recently. I'm so sorry. I know that some times when it rains it pours. Having a tough day today myself. I have to remind myself that God will give me what I…"
yesterday
Keith W Smith joined Karen's group
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I miss my Mom!

If you have that hole in your heart that you get when you lose the woman that you shared a body with....
Friday
JO B commented on JO B's group fur kids
"big miss she is "
Friday
Jane Stilwell replied to Jane Stilwell's discussion New Here in the group I love my Dad.
"I sure am glad you have him with you, at least until you're ready to scatter. That is beautiful. We did not have a special place, but I can think of one place I could go to that he liked to shoot guns at. Thank you for the idea. My boyfriend…"
Friday
Linda Engberg commented on Katherine Ellis's group Losing Someone to Cancer
"Janet, Sorry about you loss. It has been 4 years since I lose my wonderful Husband.The grief never goes away but just gets easier to bear. "
Friday
Dennis C. replied to Meghan Doyle's discussion Caregiver to my grandpa. Could hospice affected his passing?
"Meghan I am so sorry for your loss. And your entire experience in this terrible loss. I was the main caregiver for my father in law. He had Alzheimer’s and his situation was a long agonizing experience. At the end, he was in hospice at home…"
Friday
Emma Milner replied to Jane Stilwell's discussion New Here in the group I love my Dad.
"I also cared for my Dad so ive had to find an entire new rountine well try too. So not seeing him everyday and chatting to him is hard. My Dad was cremated too. I have his ashes with me but not sure when I'll feel ready to scatter them. Is…"
Thursday
Jane Stilwell replied to Jane Stilwell's discussion New Here in the group I love my Dad.
"I hate to hear about your dad :( We expected my dad's passing, but it definitely still sucks. I'm with you about it hurting more now. It's like, I find myself wanting to call and tell him so many things, especially about my daughter…"
Thursday
JO B commented on Katherine Ellis's group Losing Someone to Cancer
"honst ansr is no "
Thursday
Emma Milner replied to Jane Stilwell's discussion New Here in the group I love my Dad.
"Hey Jane Im new too. Im the exact same. I lost my dad on May 14th this yr unexpectadly. I found it easier to deal with then than I do now. I miss him more now than i did in them first few weeks after. I am too struggling with everything. Having a…"
Thursday
Jane Stilwell commented on Katherine Ellis's group Losing Someone to Cancer
"Does it ever get better? I miss my dad so much, it has been 5 months. My daughter will never even remember meeting him. It seems like cancer is EVERYWHERE."
Thursday
Jane Stilwell joined Katherine Ellis's group
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Losing Someone to Cancer

This is for anyone who has lost somone to cancer. I lost my adopted Mom to breast cancer some years ago. She was everything I could have asked for. She loved me because I was just me. She also loved my family and children as if they were her own.See More
Thursday
Jane Stilwell added a discussion to the group I love my Dad.
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New Here

Hey everybody,I am new to this group and to online forum in general. I am very much a pen and paper person but I need support that I can get at any time of day due to full time work and parenting!Dad died on May 2nd this year and after the initial pain I thought I would be ok. As it turns out, the grief has snuck up behind me and I am really missing the hell out of him. How do others deal with this?See More
Thursday
Jane Stilwell joined Jarvis's group
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I love my Dad.

For everyone that has lost their Dad.
Thursday
Profile IconJane Stilwell, Kendra Lansdale, Alyson Moore and 3 more joined Online Grief Support - A Social Community
Thursday
Marine Marietta replied to Crystal K's discussion Its hard accepting my mother's death in the group I miss my Mom!
"Hi everyone. Thank you all for your sharing,I dont feel alone because I identify with you all. I am deeply greatful. My dear mother passed 20th September. I was angry with my sister because of how she treated my mother. I begged my mother to live…"
Thursday

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