Crystal K
  • Female
  • Honolulu, HI
  • United States
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  • Frances Koonce
  • Avi
  • Joy
  • BLUEBELL

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Latest Activity

Crystal K commented on Karen's group I miss my Mom!
"Sending hugs to everyone today and tomorrow. Another year without my mom :( Missing her so much. "
Dec 31, 2018
Crystal K commented on Karen's group I miss my Mom!
"Hi guys just sending my love and prayers to everyone this holiday season. These times can be especially difficult. Im glad Thanksgiving is over. It wasnt a good day for me. My aloha to everyone ❤️❤️❤️ "
Nov 23, 2018
Crystal K commented on Karen's group I miss my Mom!
"Hi guys, its been awhile since I posted. Been really busy with work- guess thats a good thing because it means less time for me to dwell on things. My sister just found out she’s pregnant with her fourth kid. Really happy and excited for her,…"
Oct 22, 2018
Crystal K is now friends with Frances Koonce and Avi
Aug 18, 2018
Crystal K commented on Karen's group I miss my Mom!
"The indifference is hard. I hate it when people ask me how Zim doing or how lifw is... I just want to scream at them “how do you think it is!” My boss constantly asks me and everytime I just respond with a “fine” or…"
Aug 13, 2018
Crystal K commented on Karen's group I miss my Mom!
"Hi guys I know I havent posted recently but I do keep up with all your posts. Still battling the same things. Ive decided to see a therapist to help me deal through my emotions.  thinking of you all ❤️"
Jul 23, 2018
Crystal K commented on Karen's group I miss my Mom!
"Hi everyone, wanted to share this with you guys. Today is the one year anniversary of my mom’s death-and coming across this has helped make today a little more bearable. "
Jul 9, 2018
Crystal K commented on Karen's group I miss my Mom!
"Hi everone, wanted to share  this with you guys. Its made today (the  1 year anniversary of my mom’s death) a lot easier. "
Jul 9, 2018
Crystal K commented on Karen's group I miss my Mom!
"Now Im more worried about my anger/resentment issues because its gotten to a point where I am so envious of others and Ive also avoided contact with family members because I havent forgiven them. And I know they must be going through their own guilt…"
Jul 1, 2018
Crystal K commented on Karen's group I miss my Mom!
"Brett, yes we do torture ourselves with guilt but like you said its so hard not too... I too feel so guilty over little things... I feel guilty just smiling sometimes... You’re right I do go longer periods now without thinking about my mother,…"
Jul 1, 2018
Crystal K commented on Karen's group I miss my Mom!
"Thank you guys. Happy birthday to your mom Theresa.  Brett, I am dreaming of my mom less and less frequent. I wonder if it is our memories with them fading :(   I thank God for pictures but sometimes I know I am slowly losing the…"
Jun 28, 2018
Joy left a comment for Crystal K
"Hi Crystal, happy birthday. My birthday is also tomorrow and I also dream of my mom occasionally. I dreamed of her last night. She's been gone a little over a year and it's not gotten any better for me. I'm functioning, but I think of…"
Jun 28, 2018
Crystal K commented on Karen's group I miss my Mom!
"Hi guys, sorry I've been MIA for a while. You guys give me a lot of comfort but sometimes even being here is hard, talking to each other about our moms. Bluebell, just read what you are going through! I hope you are feeling better!  I…"
Jun 28, 2018
Crystal K commented on Karen's group I miss my Mom!
"Sorry for the typos. Using my phone. "
Jun 11, 2018
Crystal K commented on Karen's group I miss my Mom!
"Hey all, how are you guys doing? Havent checked in in awhile, been pretty busy with work.. Guess its a good thing cause then Im not thinking about my mom constantly.. I wonder, when do we become comfortable when we’re alone? I feel like when…"
Jun 11, 2018
Crystal K commented on Karen's group I miss my Mom!
"Brett you always bring light to our darkest thoughts. I am so thankful to know you. I wrill try to tell myself that from now on, that my mom would want me to live. "
May 25, 2018

Profile Information

About my Loss:
I lost the most important person to me 10 days after my 25th birthday- my mom. Still dealing with all the emotions that come with such a significant loss. Its hard, very hard. Life feels empty. I don't enjoy much anymore. Any joy I have is overcast with a dark cloud of sadness. I'm angry, and sad. I have lost others but nothing could prepare me for this.
Now I don't know what the word is to describe the amount of pain and abandonment I feel from losing my mom. Feel like I don't have anyone to rely on. Never was close to my dad. Sisters moved out 10 years ago so although I love them, I am not very close as I once was.

If it was possible I would exchange places with her in a heartbeat, not because of how painful it is- but so she could've lived longer and enjoyed her grandchildren (my sister's kids). She was such a selfless mother, grandmother, sister, caretaker- that she did not deserve to go out the way she did.

Comment Wall (4 comments)

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At 6:36pm on June 28, 2018, Joy said…

Hi Crystal, happy birthday. My birthday is also tomorrow and I also dream of my mom occasionally. I dreamed of her last night. She's been gone a little over a year and it's not gotten any better for me. I'm functioning, but I think of her all day every day.

At 9:33pm on October 9, 2017, Bryan Kelly Reeves said…

just your story, why your are here, what you battle (anger, fear, etc)

At 5:16pm on October 9, 2017, Bryan Kelly Reeves said…

Id love yo exchange stories sometime. Also Im working on a project for my masters degree and need to have contact with 5 people and ask them a few questions.

At 7:23pm on September 20, 2017, Joy said…

Crystal, like you, I talk to my mom daily. Whether she can hear me is unknown. I do believe God hears me, so I ask him to tell my mom how much I love her, miss her and wish I could see her to give her a hug. I'd give up everything I own to see her again

 
 
 

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Latest Activity

Nancy is now a member of Online Grief Support - A Social Community
yesterday
G B is now a member of Online Grief Support - A Social Community
Saturday
Dennis C. replied to Amy's discussion How do I get unstuck?
"Amy, I am so sorry for your loss. The journey of caregiving is extremely difficult. The loss of our especially loved dear ones is unspeakable. There are so many different ideas about what happens to us when we die. Religion teaches many different…"
Friday
Sue Toler commented on Karen's group I miss my Mom!
"I just feel like I am in a fog.  I have a little dog that is at least ten years old.  She adored my Mom & she has really grieved for her.  I know how you feel about your dog.  I worry about her.  She is all I have. …"
Thursday
Theresa commented on Karen's group I miss my Mom!
"Me too Brett, I sit here an look at my 12 year old Labrador and I know he is on borrowed time, and my heart breaks, losing him will be something that I am not looking forward to. As you said Brett, we have the live our lives until we are called…"
Thursday
Brett Bowman commented on Karen's group I miss my Mom!
"Yes, I was looking at something that popped up on my Yahoo news feed. It was an article naming 106 celebrities who have passed away in 2019. So many names and faces that I remembered. Now they are gone, and they aren't coming back. Their time…"
Thursday
Theresa commented on Karen's group I miss my Mom!
"Brett so true she was my security blanket I feel like I have no one to lean on that understood me like her You know what keeps coming in my mind. How true it is and scary that everything has a beginning and an end."
Thursday
Theresa commented on Karen's group I miss my Mom!
"I hear it all the time you don’t know how lucky you were that your mother wasn’t sick and you didn’t have to take care of her I say to them lucky I was lucky that my mother died and I was not right by her side to tell her I love…"
Wednesday
Brett Bowman commented on Karen's group I miss my Mom!
"M, the problem is that our security blankets were ripped away. Like you, sometimes I am glad to be sad. I feel like I am closer to my mom when I am crying. At least, her memory is fresher with me when I am in that zone. I feel like the hard reality…"
Jul 16
Brett Bowman commented on Karen's group I miss my Mom!
"Theresa, millions, billions of people have lost their moms. Sometimes someone will tell me that they have lost their mom, too, but they were able to deal with it, and they wonder why I haven't dealt with it as well. This may sound like an…"
Jul 16
M Adams commented on Karen's group I miss my Mom!
"Me too ...I was sitting marking a paper yesterday and suddenly realized that I can’t see or talk to my mother about this or anything else and the tears came.  But I’m glad to think of her, in a way I can be glad to be sad sometimes.…"
Jul 16
Theresa commented on Karen's group I miss my Mom!
"I sometimes will just be sitting down and I start to cry because I keep thinking I miss my mom so much my whole world is just not the same I think that I’ve become a different person it will be four years and I still cry I can’t put into…"
Jul 16
M Adams commented on Karen's group I miss my Mom!
"Definitely a colder world now.  I like the image of the security blanket — like, as we go forward, we will always keep it but eventually may be able to wash it, fold it nicely, and put it in some place of honour close at hand but without…"
Jul 16
Brett Bowman commented on Karen's group I miss my Mom!
"The world just became a colder place when my mom died. I just remember feeling like all was right with the world when my mom was in the next room. "
Jul 16
Sue Toler commented on Karen's group I miss my Mom!
"It is such a traumatic event, especially when you have had a wonderful Mom.  It is so hard knowing she is gone.  Knowing this is permanent.  There is no one that can fill the void she left.  My brother was close to Mom, but he…"
Jul 16
Cherie is now a member of Online Grief Support - A Social Community
Jul 15
Amy replied to Amy's discussion How do I get unstuck?
"I am not a believer and nor was he. We covered the bases just incase though. We were both raised Catholic. That is all besides the point though. "
Jul 15
Brett Bowman commented on Karen's group I miss my Mom!
"While I never forget that my mom is gone, for some reason it just hits me over the head sometimes. Just out of the blue I'll be like, "Mom is gone." It's horrible. It's ever present. And the thing is that it is always with…"
Jul 15
Sue Toler commented on Karen's group I miss my Mom!
"My Mom also.  I could always talk to her about anything & knew she was someone I could totally trust.  I am constantly thinking of something I want to share with her & then I remember she is gone.  I loved spending time with…"
Jul 15
Brett Bowman commented on Karen's group I miss my Mom!
"There is no doubt that it is anxiety. In fact, I think we are experiencing fight or flight. Since birth my mom had been my security blanket."
Jul 15

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