"One gets over the loss of a wallet, or a watch. But a loved one – they never leave you. You never get over. You get through."

 – Ziva David, "NCIS"

I constantly think about the timeline where you are here – what if you were here in this moment, doing this with me, sharing this, talking, laughing together. I contrast it to the moment as it is, without you, my whole life without you. I've wondered why I do that, and asked if I'm just trying to torture myself. But I've felt like there's something there, something to see. Maybe it's a way to try to grasp your loss – the enormity of it, and what it did to me, what it did to my life. And I've…

Nothing left to do

when you know that you've been taken.

Nothing left to do

when you're begging for a crumb.

Nothing left to do

when you've got to go on waiting

for the miracle to come..

When you've fallen on the highway

and you're lying in the rain,

and they ask you how you're doing

of course you'll say you can't complain.

If you're squeezed for information,

that's when you've got to play it dumb.

You just…

I have always believed, and I still believe, that whatever good or bad fortune may come our way we can always give it meaning and transform it into something of value. Neither for myself nor for others will I ever abandon this belief.



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God does not send us despair in order to kill us; he sends it in order to awaken us to new life.



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We must become so alone, so utterly alone, that we withdraw into our innermost self. It is a way of bitter…