Courtney Boyke
  • Female
  • Cheyenne, WY
  • United States
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About Me:
I have a wonderful husband and 3 beautiful girls, 2 are mine by blood the 3rd is my step daughter. I have 2 dogs and I love to workout and be outside. Love being with my family.
About my Loss:
My grandmother(was more like my mom) was the healthiest 70 year old I have known, Didn't take medication on a regular biases she took vitamins for almost everything and ate very well. She traveled, Hunted and gardened. She didn't act her age she acted like she was in her 20's and looked like she was in her 40's. About a year maybe year and 1/2 ago we found out she had a heart arrhythmia and she had surgery for an ablation, everything went well and was going great afterword. After taking a British ails trip she came home very tired (kind of expected) she still went about doing everything normal but with a slag. couple weeks after her trip she went to take a bath after being out in the garden all day. I thought it had been to long for normal bath went to check on her and had found her unconscious face in the water. trained as a CNA I had pulled her out and started CPR until the EMT's showed. I know I was trained for this but the entire time I kept telling the dispatcher to just keep coaching me to keep me focused and it helped. My husband had helped me call 911 and my kids were in the other room watching a movie and had herd everything they hadn't seen but I was so worried they had. I have had nothing but flashbacks, Nightmares and a lot of nights its harder to even lay down for bed. Eating is a new chore on my list for doing everyday.
Are You a Service Provider? If Yes, please tell us about your service.
I am a CNA.

Not Sure whats going on

I'm not really sure if this is in my head or if they are truly acting this way. I live in my grandmothers house (That's another story). When my aunt and uncle came over the last couple times to go throw my grandmothers things to separate they both seamed to act like i was the problem and i didn't want to look at me or even really speak to me. when they did speak to be it was more like i had done something to make them upset. they have also treated me as if i am just clamming everything of hers to be mine and they must remove anything without asking anyone anymore because i might sell it or i don't know. I am not one to sell things or do anything out of line so i am not sure as to what is going on. i know this is there mothers home and stuff i have no intention on just taking, i have been very calm and reasonable when it comes to separating her things between everyone. I wouldn't do anything like that and my grandmother knew that as well. but again i cant tell if I'm just overreacting and making things up in my head or if they really have a grudge against me with everything that has happened. To be honest it feels like they think i had something to do with her passing away.

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Latest Activity

Monty replied to Pamela philipp's discussion FAILING in the group Lost My Spouse...
"Hi Im sorry for your loss no matter how long ago it is. i can only imagine the pain and emotions you are still going though. for me it was taking care of the kids and finding one thing to achieve (no matter how small) helped a lot. it was as small…"
8 hours ago
M Adams left a comment for Jarvis
"Thank you for creating this site, it is a lifeline for many people.  Hope your health is improving every day."
9 hours ago
Avi commented on Karen's group I miss my Mom!
"Hi All,  Hope every one is doing fine. Last week my father got an infection and was hospitalized so could not follow much here. Now he is better and recovering.  Virginia, you seem to be totally engrossed in the guilt which I can…"
14 hours ago
Virginia G commented on Karen's group I miss my Mom!
"My boyfriend finally gave up.  I don’t blame him at all. And Brett I will tell you I don’t deserve the prayers, pray for my Mom please."
yesterday
Virginia G commented on Karen's group I miss my Mom!
"So the dr talked to my therapist and he told her the same things he told me.  I had asked her to try to get more answers.  I actually feel worse because I had someone ask some doctors about using ventilators.  The oncologist told us…"
yesterday
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yesterday
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yesterday
Brett Bowman commented on Karen's group I miss my Mom!
"Theresa, since talking to you last I have been searching for a natural solution to your issue. There are new supplements since I went through this about a year and a half ago, but my best advice would be to talk to your doctor about trying a new…"
yesterday
Theresa commented on Karen's group I miss my Mom!
"Hi everyone, I have been reading, going through a tough time with my friend her dog is getting ready to go to the rainbow bridge and that set me into anxiety.  My stomach is flaring up no matter what I eat.  I started to think about my mom…"
yesterday
Profile IconAshley Gatehouse, Maria Allen and Lori Gersbeck joined Online Grief Support - A Social Community
Friday
Lori Gersbeck joined Julie Dolsey-Weiss's group
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Orphaned Adults

This group is for adults who have lost both parents and are struggling with coming to terms with this impact, which is harder then you realize till it happens to you.
Friday
Fran replied to Pamela philipp's discussion FAILING in the group Lost My Spouse...
"You are not a failure! You are a survivor. It's hard to continue a life that was balanced and enriched by a truly loved spouse.  Just do what helps YOU go on."
Friday
Crystal Parker posted photos
Friday
Brett Bowman commented on Karen's group I miss my Mom!
"Virginia, my dad was horrible. My mom and my brothers and sister moved to NC where mom had family. I was six. We found a little house to rent. We had left all of our furniture at our house in Ky. I remember the day the moving truck came to our new…"
Friday
Brett Bowman commented on Karen's group I miss my Mom!
"Bluebell, I do not know if you have the same symptoms that I did. It was scary. I was in my shower one day. I was looking at my bottle of shampoo and I couldn't remember what to do with it. And then when I reached for it, it was like my arm was…"
Friday
Virginia G commented on Karen's group I miss my Mom!
"Pamela, Those are hurtful things you had to deal with.  I am so fortunate that drinking was never a frequent activity with most of my family.  The only thing I can say is this.  I am the one feeling guilty, desperately hoping my Mom…"
Thursday
BLUEBELL commented on Karen's group I miss my Mom!
"Thank you Brett. It is very scary. What I do not like the most is the lack of motivation and being so easily fatigued. I am also frustrated with the lack of support from the Doctors. I keep asking it it would be dangerous to increase a certain…"
Thursday
Virginia G commented on Karen's group I miss my Mom!
"Brett, the dr may realize that he didn’t tell me what was going on in the hospital and that’s why I have all the questions.  I blame myself for getting upset with him, then not seeking him out but he might feel responsible. I…"
Thursday
Pamela philipp commented on Karen's group I miss my Mom!
"Virginia yes I will tell you what she lied about who my father is my mother told me the man who is on my birth certificate was my father but he told me I was not his daughter and I look like my so called step father who raised me since I was a baby…"
Thursday
Virginia G commented on Karen's group I miss my Mom!
"Bluebell, Are you having more symptoms to make you think this?  Or is it from the anxiety of the one you had?  Did they say how long it would take for it to resolve?  "
Thursday

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