Courtney Boyke
  • Female
  • Cheyenne, WY
  • United States
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  • Mary Ann Troxell

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Latest Activity

Courtney Boyke posted a status
"I feel lost a lot of the time kinda more depressed than anything"
9 hours ago
Courtney Boyke commented on Julie Dolsey-Weiss's group Traumatic, Sudden Loss
"Hello, Sorry for your loss. In June my grandmother who was more like my mom than anything also a bestfriend. My family has been staying in her home because the home we were in was just falling apart and my kids were constantly sick from it. Anyways…"
Aug 12
Courtney Boyke joined Julie Dolsey-Weiss's group
Aug 12
Courtney Boyke updated their profile
Aug 12
Courtney Boyke is now a member of Online Grief Support - A Social Community
Aug 10

Profile Information

About Me:
I have a wonderful husband and 3 beautiful girls, 2 are mine by blood the 3rd is my step daughter. I have 2 dogs and I love to workout and be outside. Love being with my family.
About my Loss:
My grandmother(was more like my mom) was the healthiest 70 year old I have known, Didn't take medication on a regular biases she took vitamins for almost everything and ate very well. She traveled, Hunted and gardened. She didn't act her age she acted like she was in her 20's and looked like she was in her 40's. About a year maybe year and 1/2 ago we found out she had a heart arrhythmia and she had surgery for an ablation, everything went well and was going great afterword. After taking a British ails trip she came home very tired (kind of expected) she still went about doing everything normal but with a slag. couple weeks after her trip she went to take a bath after being out in the garden all day. I thought it had been to long for normal bath went to check on her and had found her unconscious face in the water. trained as a CNA I had pulled her out and started CPR until the EMT's showed. I know I was trained for this but the entire time I kept telling the dispatcher to just keep coaching me to keep me focused and it helped. My husband had helped me call 911 and my kids were in the other room watching a movie and had herd everything they hadn't seen but I was so worried they had. I have had nothing but flashbacks, Nightmares and a lot of nights its harder to even lay down for bed. Eating is a new chore on my list for doing everyday.
Are You a Service Provider? If Yes, please tell us about your service.
I am a CNA.

Not Sure whats going on

I'm not really sure if this is in my head or if they are truly acting this way. I live in my grandmothers house (That's another story). When my aunt and uncle came over the last couple times to go throw my grandmothers things to separate they both seamed to act like i was the problem and i didn't want to look at me or even really speak to me. when they did speak to be it was more like i had done something to make them upset. they have also treated me as if i am just clamming everything of hers to be mine and they must remove anything without asking anyone anymore because i might sell it or i don't know. I am not one to sell things or do anything out of line so i am not sure as to what is going on. i know this is there mothers home and stuff i have no intention on just taking, i have been very calm and reasonable when it comes to separating her things between everyone. I wouldn't do anything like that and my grandmother knew that as well. but again i cant tell if I'm just overreacting and making things up in my head or if they really have a grudge against me with everything that has happened. To be honest it feels like they think i had something to do with her passing away.

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Latest Activity

BLUEBELL commented on Karen's group I miss my Mom!
"Christine and Janie. Thank you both for your comments Bluebell"
2 hours ago
Janie m Snitko commented on Karen's group I miss my Mom!
"By her home I meant my Mom's."
2 hours ago
Janie m Snitko commented on Karen's group I miss my Mom!
"Hi everyone! Today was a stressful day for me. I found a great website it is called Soul Proof .com.  Bluebell I thought about you as I was reading different things on after death experiences. Both times my daughter and I have been together in…"
2 hours ago
Profile IconJen and LoveGoli joined Jon-Paul Ackerman's group
5 hours ago
JO B commented on Mike H.'s blog post Repost: Is It Wrong to Grieve?
"no its ok 2 grief evn ifs its a 50 yrs its still ok evn 80 yrs its ok no 1 shud tell pele 2 not giref its not lk a op or bandge u can tak off its not griefs 1 thng u ca n not heal  sorry if im sayin wong thngs heat sorry abot yore loss 2"
5 hours ago
JO B replied to JO B's discussion mad at god
5 hours ago
Courtney Boyke posted a status
"I feel lost a lot of the time kinda more depressed than anything"
9 hours ago
Courtney Boyke and Mary Ann Troxell are now friends
9 hours ago
Christine Ford commented on Julie Dolsey-Weiss's group Traumatic, Sudden Loss
"I'm new to the group.  In November 2015 my Mom & Dad were cutting a tree branch in their backyard and the branch fell on my Mom and killed her.  I am numb some days.  I just try to focus on how wonderful my mom was, not how…"
9 hours ago
Christine Ford commented on Karen's group I miss my Mom!
"Bluebell, thank you for posting the comment about having a mother that loved you, food to eat, and your family.  I too am luck to have/have had those things.  Your comment reminded me of what I have to be thankful for.  Christine"
9 hours ago
Christine Ford joined Karen's group
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I miss my Mom!

If you have that hole in your heart that you get when you lose the woman that you shared a body with....
10 hours ago
Christine Ford updated their profile
10 hours ago
Profile IconChristine Ford and julia shvekky joined Julie Dolsey-Weiss's group
10 hours ago
BLUEBELL commented on Karen's group I miss my Mom!
"Thank you Theresa. It is hard for me to accept I am still grieving her loss so much. But I am still going to try and inch forward little by little and have more "okay" times. I think my Mom would want that. I can not stay in this…"
10 hours ago
Theresa commented on Karen's group I miss my Mom!
"Bluebell, grieving is a normal part of life and death, you are only 6 months into it, please don't expect too much, I am now almost two years and I still am trying to accept the fact of what happened and how fast it occurred.  Some days I…"
11 hours ago
Joy commented on Karen Wilson's blog post Lost my Son -only child in March of this year
"Karen, I just want to offer my sincere sympathy in losing your son. While I'm grieving my mom's death, and our situations are completely different, I do know what grief is and can relate on that point. I'm glad you are getting the…"
11 hours ago
BLUEBELL commented on Karen's group I miss my Mom!
"I am grateful I had a mother that loved me I am grateful I have a roof over my head and food to eat I am grateful for my family"
13 hours ago
BLUEBELL commented on Karen's group I miss my Mom!
"I am blessed to have my sister. But I also realize that she is going through a bad time too and it would not be fair to her to burden her with all the negativity that is going through my mind. With that being said, I am going to try and be more…"
13 hours ago
Brett Bowman commented on Karen's group I miss my Mom!
"Bluebell, I will pray for you as well. I understand. Theresa, that is one of the most beautiful things about Catholicism. Sitting in adoration of the sacrament is an incredible blessing. Bluebell, you wrote something that was very telling. You have…"
18 hours ago
LoveGoli replied to Maxey's discussion Moved, but nothing changes in the group Lost My Spouse...
"You are lucky that you spent 55 years, but I had only 3years and the pain is getting worse day by day. Moving from one place to another does not help because you can not remove that person from your heart.  Same feeling I am having which you…"
22 hours ago

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