40 years old. Recently finished my degree and graduated from college. I have 1 son who is my world. I have 1 sister 2 nephews and a niece
About my Loss:
My 6 1/2 yr old sister (same dad different mom's) was put to bed around 7p.m. on Oct.1st. At noon on Oct.2 when her mother got up out of bed after a night of drinking, she noticed my sister was gone. A few hours later my sister was found at the Rivers edge just 50 feet from her back door. The police investigation was so sloppy and mishandled from the beginning. 3 calls to 911 over a 2 and a half hour period were made before police finally showed up to take the missing child report. Officer and dispatcher were laughing and joking about the fact that my sister Samantha was missing. Evidence was not properly collected, or not collected at all. Improperly stored and even lost. There is an innocent man who has been sitting in prison for her murder since May of 1993. He just started serving year number 26 of a life sentence. This man has always maintained his innocence and our family strongly believes he did not do what he is charged with. We believe in his innocence 100%. He has been diagnosed with Cancer recently. The court system is so frustrating. We just want justice for Sam. We want answers, and we will probably never get either of those things. My faith in the justice system no longer exists. I don't trust the police to do their jobs. I was just 12 years old when this happened. It has changed every aspect of my life. It has even affected my son who born 9 years after this happened. I don't think I will ever be able to put my shattered life back together. People say it's been so long just get over it already. How do I do that?
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"Different today. Hurts as usual, but not like yesterday.
My stress goes through the roof at the slightest change in routine.
I have to break free of the pattern, the ritual, of Friday nights and Saturdays. My mother died on a Friday. But I cannot…"
"Today, I feel it.
It has been like this every Saturday since June, since the nurse at the care home called me to notify me that I could pick up my mother's effects. My mother died in April.
I am overwhelmed.
I am crushed.
I love you, Mom. I…"
"Sixteen weeks ago today, my mother died.
For some reason, I do not feel crushed today.
But every Friday is going to be like this, a reminder that she is dead. Not quite the kick in the stomach reminder that she is dead that I feel when I wake up…"
Carla is now a member of Online Grief Support - A Social Community