Brian P Mulkerne
  • Male
  • Utica, NY
  • United States
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Brian P Mulkerne joined Jon-Paul Ackerman's group
Apr 20
morgan and Brian P Mulkerne are now friends
Mar 30
Brian P Mulkerne left a comment for morgan
"Hi Morgan, thanks for writing me, I appreciate it. Please see the video I posted. https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=35E7cin_bs0"
Mar 28
Brian P Mulkerne updated their profile
Mar 28
Brian P Mulkerne posted a video

Phyllis and Brian

I wrote and recorded this song for my wife Phyllis two years ago. The song is about appreciating the love you have in your life, and drawing strength from th...
Mar 28
morgan left a comment for Brian P Mulkerne
"Brian,  there is another person who has been journeying here with us who has also been in the psychiatric field as a career.  Nothing other than the experience itself can give people on the outside the understanding of what this is like.…"
Mar 26
Brian P Mulkerne is now a member of Online Grief Support - A Social Community
Mar 26

Profile Information

About Me:
I am 59 years old, father of three adult children, the youngest with severe autism. I am a retired Psychiatric Social Worker, and have had a private psychotherapy practice for 20 years. I am also a professional blues musician.
About my Loss:
My wife died suddenly, in my arms, on 2/12/17, after 38 years together. She was 58 years old. There were no warnings; she was active, very attractive, and loved by everyone. She died of a brain aneurysm. I am devastated by the loss, but fortunate to have many siblings and alos very caring children who have helped me through this. I would have to say I have had a high degree of positive support which is still available to me, however I am now returning to working and experiencing being alone for the first time. I should add that my wife's mother also has lived with us for 12 years and she is now 87. She is also devastated by the loss, and although she has three other sons, they have been inattentive to her and I have been her only support.
Are You a Service Provider? If Yes, please tell us about your service.
I am a Psychotherapist in private practice and have extensive experience with severe chronic mental illness and treatment in institutional settings. In my private practice I work with children, adolescents and adults dealing with depression, anxiety, marital issues, developmental disability, and grief/bereavement issues.

I am not sure how to correctly post this video. I wrote this song  to my wife Phyllis two years ago. It's a tribute to our life together. Phyllis passed away suddenly on February 12, 2017. 

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At 2:14pm on March 26, 2017, morgan said…

Brian,  there is another person who has been journeying here with us who has also been in the psychiatric field as a career.  Nothing other than the experience itself can give people on the outside the understanding of what this is like.  I can only hope some of what you have practiced will help you find ways to cope but the pickings are slim when you actually get thrown into the deep water and forget how to swim.  It will be valuable to have your support system but you will find some of that rather perplexing as you go.  

Hopefully this site and our ponderings will help you know you are not experiencing feelings that are abnormal as society sometimes likes to evaluate them.  In the interim I can only say I wish you the resilience to   find your way forward.  58 and dying in your arms is pretty rough spot to be.  

 
 
 

Latest Activity

morgan commented on Jon-Paul Ackerman's group Lost My Spouse...
"Digging deeper in my hole again........of course I'm not sure I mean, again......it seems like i think I emerge but then there I am again........digging furiously so I can escape.  This is the hardest, most painful, most misunderstood…"
3 hours ago
Kevin Bailey commented on Jon-Paul Ackerman's group Lost My Spouse...
"I was in denial even when they was talking about hospice. I was thinking she's not going anywhere, we're in recovery mood but I do need a nurse to help me with some things. Cancer is a wicked disease and it took my beautiful wife through…"
3 hours ago
Kathleen Jordan commented on Jon-Paul Ackerman's group Lost My Spouse...
"I soo believe that....I see him, or feel him every day...It's hard to stay posititve...but   it works"
4 hours ago
Crystal joined Katherine Ellis's group
Thumbnail

Losing Someone to Cancer

This is for anyone who has lost somone to cancer. I lost my adopted Mom to breast cancer some years ago. She was everything I could have asked for. She loved me because I was just me. She also loved my family and children as if they were her own.See More
4 hours ago
Crystal commented on Jon-Paul Ackerman's group Lost My Spouse...
"Yeah, Ben was told 5 months at christmas, but he made it 3 months. It was fast and aggressive. He was on hospice for 1.5 months. He was up and walking around after his brain surgery in july, did great all the way till chriatmas, but the cancer came…"
4 hours ago
Kathleen Jordan commented on Jon-Paul Ackerman's group Lost My Spouse...
"Crystal...you were lucky to have enough  time to learn while he was on hospice....I had 3  whole days of coherence.  But, I seriously did appreciate  it, even though he thought he was going to make 6 months"
5 hours ago
BLUEBELL commented on Karen's group I miss my Mom!
"I have been blessed with a very understanding set of people at work. They have told me to take my time coming back to work and have ask if there is anything they can do to help, just ask. They knew how much my life was centered on taking care of my…"
5 hours ago
Heather commented on Karen's group I miss my Mom!
"Hi Theresa, It is the same for me in terms of my job. I'm a special education assistant and have worked with kids for over 20 years with varying special needs. The last 5 years I have specialized in working with children with autism. I started…"
6 hours ago
Theresa commented on Karen's group I miss my Mom!
"Heather I feel the same way and the weather here has been the same I'm in Pennsylvania You were not rambling It just lets me know I'm not alone Are used to always look forward to summer to go to the pool see my friends now I feel like I…"
6 hours ago
Heather commented on Karen's group I miss my Mom!
"Hi Theresa, I understand what you are talking about. I work in a very large school and have been there for 3 years and no one acknowledged or asked about how my mom was doing (I had to take some days off in the last month of the last school year to…"
7 hours ago
Theresa commented on Karen's group I miss my Mom!
"No Bluebell, any death is difficult for all of us right now. Sometimes though I feel numb towards others that have lost a loved one I have people come in to my place of employment all the time (jewelry store) that have lost parents and they seem so…"
8 hours ago
Crystal commented on Jon-Paul Ackerman's group Lost My Spouse...
"Same here. I've never been on my own. His beING on hospice , though he was able to stay at home, he was completely immobile, so I learned how to do all the things most men would do naturally, even paying bills, which I never have done. So he…"
8 hours ago
Jackie cooke commented on Jon-Paul Ackerman's group Lost My Spouse...
"I know, it shouldn't have happend and the thought of another 30 odd years alone terrifies me"
9 hours ago
Crystal commented on Jon-Paul Ackerman's group Lost My Spouse...
"When I said "til death do us part" during our wedding vows, I never thought that that would ever happen.. I didn't mean it. He's still apart of me."
10 hours ago
Jackie cooke commented on Jon-Paul Ackerman's group Lost My Spouse...
"I'm just the same,,it's still we, us, ours I don't want to be I, me or mine. I signed an email jackie n Shirl the other day, realised what I'd done and it nearly killed me. I never want to be a single person"
11 hours ago
M Adams commented on Jon-Paul Ackerman's group Lost My Spouse...
"Not sure what is normal, but I do that too -- it's normal to me and I haven't tried to change it. It's not so much that I can't bring myself to use the past tense, more that the present still seems natural to me when something…"
11 hours ago
Crystal commented on Jon-Paul Ackerman's group Lost My Spouse...
"Does anybody else here have issues with talking about your spouse as if they are still with us? I can't bring myself to use my husbands name in the form of the past. I still say things like "my husband and I like...' or "ben IS a…"
12 hours ago
BLUEBELL commented on Karen's group I miss my Mom!
"My best friends parrot died yesterday and it is hitting me very hard. I am not dealing with it well right now. Lots of tears and sadness. Will this never stop? I do not think it is all about the parrot. It is tied in with my Mom's death…"
15 hours ago
silvia maria posted blog posts
16 hours ago
Chum commented on Jon-Paul Ackerman's group Lost My Spouse...
"I"
19 hours ago

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