BLUEBELL
  • Female
  • Santa Ana, CA
  • United States
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Lost my Mom
5 Replies

I am new here. I lost my Mom on Valentines Day. There is a void in my life  that I need to figure out how to fill. I have been her caregiver for the past 3 years and she has been the center point of…Continue

Started this discussion. Last reply by Jennifer Mar 12, 2017.

 

BLUEBELL's Page

Latest Activity

BLUEBELL commented on Karen's group I miss my Mom!
"Seems like we all have our regrets and sadness that we live with every day. But I have noticed for myself that though I still have them, they have softened over time. Bluebell On a different subject I want to celebrate this morning of being able to…"
Oct 11, 2018
BLUEBELL commented on Karen's group I miss my Mom!
"Me too Brett"
Oct 10, 2018
BLUEBELL commented on Karen's group I miss my Mom!
"Thanks Avi. I do not think it is going to be an easy battle, but I am willing to do what it takes to get though it. Wishing you the best Avi. I have been where you are and it is hard when your in that state of thinking to redirect it to you did what…"
Oct 10, 2018
BLUEBELL commented on Karen's group I miss my Mom!
"I am glad it helps you. I am going to try antidepressants and therapy. That is my choice. I believe enough in myself that with help, I can lead a better and happier life. But it will take some work on my part and I am willing to take the steps to…"
Oct 10, 2018
BLUEBELL commented on Karen's group I miss my Mom!
"I have come to the conclusion that I am clinically depressed. I am seeking the help of professionals. Please wish me a speedy recovery. Bluebell"
Oct 10, 2018
BLUEBELL commented on Karen's group I miss my Mom!
"A responsible thought Virginia. Bluebell"
Oct 10, 2018
BLUEBELL commented on Karen's group I miss my Mom!
"I love that book Brett. I will check out the Cortisol manager. It can not hurt and might help. Bluebell"
Oct 10, 2018
BLUEBELL commented on Karen's group I miss my Mom!
"This anxiety is hard to get through sometimes. I am having a surge of adrenaline right now with a pounding heart and an unnamed fear. I have a book called "Jesus Calling". This would be a good time to read it. I also am going to text my…"
Oct 9, 2018
BLUEBELL commented on Karen's group I miss my Mom!
"It is morning and I feel like crying. I miss the things I used to do with Mom when she woke up. Now all I have are the cats and my dog to care for and keep me company. It just seems like I should be moving on faster than I am and developing a life…"
Oct 8, 2018
BLUEBELL commented on Karen's group I miss my Mom!
"I am doing poorly emotionally and physically. I dread the holidays that are coming up. I dread the mornings and the nights. I do not know what to do anymore to find some peace and meaning in life. I am fearful a lot. I feel so helpless and useless.…"
Oct 6, 2018
BLUEBELL commented on Karen's group I miss my Mom!
"Hi all. I am doing okay. I miss my Mom everyday, but my thoughts of her are beginning to change. I find myself remembering every day moments with fondness vs sadness. For instance, when the phone rang, I always said to Mom "I will get it".…"
Sep 24, 2018
BLUEBELL commented on Karen's group I miss my Mom!
"Lia I am so sorry for your loss. Bluebell"
Sep 16, 2018
BLUEBELL commented on Karen's group I miss my Mom!
"Missing my Mom a lot too today. I am in tears. Bluebell"
Aug 24, 2018
BLUEBELL commented on Karen's group I miss my Mom!
"Hi Jayne. Welcome back. Bluebell"
Aug 21, 2018
BLUEBELL commented on Karen's group I miss my Mom!
"Actually, I am glad you did not see your Mom pass from this life to the next. I was there  for mine and it haunts me that I watched her struggled for breath. There are other things that happened before they took her away that I will never…"
Aug 19, 2018
BLUEBELL commented on Karen's group I miss my Mom!
"I can relate. There is no definite diagnosis whether my Mom passed away from her heart condition or respiratory failure. I will never know. But there was nothing I could have done to prevent it. That was out of my control. I pray that you feel your…"
Aug 19, 2018

Profile Information

About my Loss:
Loss of mother as an adult

Comment Wall (6 comments)

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At 12:54pm on August 25, 2017, Brett Bowman gave BLUEBELL a gift
At 4:46pm on August 15, 2017, Joy said…

Bluebell, your post is identical to my feelings and I'm sure others. I try to stay extra busy, distracted so I don't think about my loss. But as you say, grief always catches up. It caught up with me at 2am this morning and I couldn't go back to sleep right away. It caught up with me again while I was sitting in my office at work, it caught up with me again while I'm in my car driving home. My heart is broken too and I don't think anything can fix that.

I hope you find the purpose you are seeking. I haven't found it yet.

At 5:32pm on July 25, 2017, Panda said…
Hi bluebell I'm so sorry about what happened. This will be the first Christmas without my mom too but you can get through this. I know it's hard but I know you can get through it. Stay strong. She's watching over you and she's in a better place now out of pain. Hugs <3
At 7:06pm on July 24, 2017, Heather said…
Bluebell could you check my comment wall? The young girl that posted today, panda sounds really distraught and am concerned about her. She commented that she didn't want to be here anymore and said that no one wants her. Not sure what to do since she lives somewhere in Cranston, USA and I live in Canada. Can I contact the administrator of this site? Can't get her words out of my head and am worried about her:(. If you have time can you let me know your thoughts? Thank you
Heather
At 10:10am on May 2, 2017, Tasha said…
Thank you for such kind words. God bless
At 6:12pm on February 28, 2017, Heather said…
So sorry for your loss of your Mom...please know that you are wished much strength always. Take good care of yourself...
 
 
 

Groups

Latest Activity

Brett Bowman commented on Karen's group I miss my Mom!
"Something I have noticed is that the content of a dream may not be a big deal, but what you are feeling in the dream is where the power comes from. The dream I had was horrible. It was so short, but I had a sick feeling in my stomach throughout.…"
11 hours ago
Sue Toler commented on Karen's group I miss my Mom!
"I dream about my Mom & Dad & thankfully they are always good dreams that are comforting.  An Aunt that I was close to is in a lot of the dreams with my parents.  I have one sibling. He is never in the dreams of my parents.  I…"
16 hours ago
Brett Bowman commented on Karen's group I miss my Mom!
"I rarely dream about my mom. When I do dream about her it is almost always bad. I had a horrible dream last night. It was very short. I was standing near the front door of my mom's house. I looked down to greet my dog. There was a little puppy…"
yesterday
Lauren A Fernandez is now a member of Online Grief Support - A Social Community
yesterday
Linda Engberg commented on Jon-Paul Ackerman's group Lost My Spouse...
"Thanks Nancy, I am sure everyone in our group can relate."
yesterday
Avi commented on Karen's group I miss my Mom!
"Yes we have no choice but to live without our mothers. Grief and guilt will be there through out and some days will be really hard than others. Yesterday was pathetic for me as my father said something that really hit me. I hope to see my mother…"
Sunday
Nancy commented on Jon-Paul Ackerman's group Lost My Spouse...
"Love this Linda.  Thanks for posting it. "
Sunday
Linda Engberg commented on Jon-Paul Ackerman's group Lost My Spouse...
Sunday
Nancy commented on Jon-Paul Ackerman's group Lost My Spouse...
"I relate to you all who have posted lately.  2 years for me.  2nd year was worse than the first as reality set in and shock lessened.  I am still in a trauma state of mind.  Forgetful, irritable, less patient.  I isolate…"
Saturday
Deanna N Nash added a discussion to the group surviving family members' murders
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Nothing feels real

My husband was brutly murdered 6 day ago and nothing feels real to me I'm still waiting to wake up or him to call me the pain is unbearable I don't know if I can go on anymore
Saturday
Deanna N Nash commented on Susie H's group surviving family members' murders
"6 days ago my husband and soulmate was brutly murdered and everyday gets a little harder I haven't seen him yet he's held up at the corners and I'm terrified to see him but I need to see him to convince my mind that this is real and…"
Saturday
Deanna N Nash joined Susie H's group
Saturday
morgan commented on Jon-Paul Ackerman's group Lost My Spouse...
"Robin, thank you.  Bluebird was the honesty that i discovered on this site that made it possible for me to express what I go through.  Several others who write let me know too.  I tend to reach out here, particularly when I am…"
Saturday
Robin commented on Jon-Paul Ackerman's group Lost My Spouse...
"Hi Morgan - I lost my husband John, 9 years ago, when he was 46.  I come to this website every now & then, but have only commented a few times.  I relate most to you and Bluebird.  I can't believe it's been 9 years, and…"
Saturday
morgan commented on Jon-Paul Ackerman's group Lost My Spouse...
"I really don't know what to say to all the newer people who come here looking for help and comfort because I have struggled for years. I did find an article written by a psychotherapist just the other day that made some sense to me about the…"
Saturday
Sharon batten posted a discussion

Missing my true love

My partner died 14 weeks ago and I am struggling big time without her, we been together for 10 years and now I have nothing left,
Friday
Sharon batten left a comment for Sharon batten
"I hate my life without her now I miss her so much, we been together for 10 years and now I have nothing left"
Friday
Profile IconSharon batten, Eileen A. Palazza, Deanna N Nash and 2 more joined Online Grief Support - A Social Community
Friday
Kathleen Jordan posted photos
Friday
Kathleen Jordan commented on Anna-Marie's blog post When does the crying stop.
"Even though dream moon can't do grammar, I agree. It doesn't stop...it will hit at moments out of the clear blue....4 years, 9 years or 20.  It is a loss, and it's real."
Friday

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