Amber
  • Female
  • Beeville, TX
  • United States
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Amber posted a blog post

One Breath at a Time

I have the big hurt right now. I keep expecting him to log onto Facebook and send me a message. Or a text. Or something that would symbolize that he is here. And then I remember that he isn’t. That the last text or IM I will ever receive is from August 12. That there was no tomorrow for him. Just me. And everyone that liked or loved him. And it bothers me so much knowing he isn’t going to respond. He isn’t going to reach out. He can’t. That I just can’t wrap my brain around it. I want to search…See More
Aug 29
Alice Thompson commented on Amber's blog post I Don’t Know How
"Dear Amber, my heart goes out to you. The idea of a blank headstone seems to speak volumes about your loss and the erasing of the future you dreamed of. I struggle with absence as do many people on this site. I wish you strength and patience with…"
Aug 28
Amber posted a blog post

I Don’t Know How

I lost my lifemate 15 days ago. We viewed the body and have had the memorial. We were given ashes that were split up between his children, his sister, myself and two friends. I couldn’t function yesterday at all and the weekend was bad too. I don’t know how to figure out this grieving process. This isn’t the first person I have lost. It is the first person that I was in love with and had plans with. As part of a tribute to him, I am buying him a headstone and burying some of his ashes on our…See More
Aug 28
Amber posted photos
Aug 27
Amber is now a member of Online Grief Support - A Social Community
Aug 27

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About my Loss:
I lost my lifemate two weeks ago. We aren’t sure what happened. But he’s gone now.

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Amber's Blog

One Breath at a Time

I have the big hurt right now. I keep expecting him to log onto Facebook and send me a message. Or a text. Or something that would symbolize that he is here. And then I remember that he isn’t. That the last text or IM I will ever receive is from August 12. That there was no tomorrow for him. Just me. And everyone that liked or loved him. 

And it bothers me so much knowing he isn’t going to respond. He isn’t going to reach out. He can’t. That I just can’t wrap my brain around…

Continue

Posted on August 29, 2018 at 6:53pm

I Don’t Know How

I lost my lifemate 15 days ago. We viewed the body and have had the memorial. We were given ashes that were split up between his children, his sister, myself and two friends. I couldn’t function yesterday at all and the weekend was bad too. I don’t know how to figure out this grieving process. This isn’t the first person I have lost. It is the first person that I was in love with and had plans with. 

As part of a tribute to him, I am buying him a headstone and burying some of…

Continue

Posted on August 28, 2018 at 1:35pm — 1 Comment

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Theresa commented on Karen's group I miss my Mom!
"Sorry should say sit with my mom. I'm a bit nervous about the mass this morning, I just want this day over. I figured I would go to the mass, stop at the small place where she used to go everyday for her friends and she was friends with with…"
8 hours ago
Theresa commented on Karen's group I miss my Mom!
"Three days Brett, it will come and it will go, I just want time to go fast for once. Eight more days for you also, I'm sure you feel the same, like going over and over that day in your head, shamefully I can't remember because I was in so…"
8 hours ago
Avi commented on Karen's group I miss my Mom!
"Hi Selv,  Your words really touched me as I also cremated my mother and scattered them in holy river of Ganga. I live in India so here the ashes are mostly scattered in holy river.  Like you I also wish to complete my journey on this earth…"
13 hours ago
Daylight commented on Karen's group I miss my Mom!
"Hi, Theresa, it is always very hard. I think every season is difficult. After Christmas, here it will be summer. Although summer is a beautiful season, I will feel sad because my mom died in January. Plus, the weather gets extremely hot, and…"
17 hours ago
Brett Bowman commented on Karen's group I miss my Mom!
"I know it will be hard, Theresa."
17 hours ago
Theresa commented on Karen's group I miss my Mom!
"Well as I sit here in bed at like 930 tomorrow is the yearly mass I hate to say yearly but it’s the third year for my mother and I have a mass said every year for her. I know I’ll be sitting in church and when they say this mass is being…"
18 hours ago
Brett Bowman commented on Karen's group I miss my Mom!
"What's hard is that, even if we don't celebrate it, the rest of the world will. I can't get away from the Christmas music and decorations. That's okay. The world shouldn't stop celebrating Christmas just because it makes me…"
yesterday
Linda Engberg commented on Jon-Paul Ackerman's group Lost My Spouse...
"Joe, Thank You so much for sharing you OBE. I have read a lot of books on it and saw the movie Heaven is for Real. The one book I like is Hello from Heave by Bill & Judy Guggenheim.  Two days after my Husband died I had 1 message on my…"
yesterday
Linda Engberg commented on Jon-Paul Ackerman's group Lost My Spouse...
"Joe, Thank You so much for sharing you OBE. I have read a lot of books on it and saw the movie Heaven is for Real. The one book I like is Hello from Heave by Bill & Judy Guggenheim.  Two days after my Husband died I had 1 message on my…"
yesterday
Daylight commented on Karen's group I miss my Mom!
"Brett, praying is all we have now. I hope it can helps us cope better. I've always loved Christmas but this year I don't feel like celebrating it. I haven't decorated my house, and I haven't got a Christmas tree. I just…"
yesterday
Brett Bowman commented on Karen's group I miss my Mom!
"Yes, it's true that I was blessed to take care of my mom, but that only makes saying goodbye harder. Losing our moms is never easy for anyone, but for some of us who find our way here, our moms may have been the center of our lives. That's…"
yesterday
Brett Bowman commented on Karen's group I miss my Mom!
"Thanks, SelV. I wish there was something I could say something to make you feel better. I wish there was something you could say to make me feel better."
yesterday
joe kelly commented on Jon-Paul Ackerman's group Lost My Spouse...
"I feel compelled to share my feelings, beliefs and philosophical thoughts with all of you not only because we share the same bond of sufferings, wants, and hopes, but most of all we share the experience of true love for the one we lost here on…"
yesterday
joe kelly commented on Jon-Paul Ackerman's group Lost My Spouse...
"Our world is governed by science and most scientists say if you can't see it, it doesn't exist. Yet most agree that there are many other dimensions we can't see or detect. Huh? I had great respect for Steven Hawkins at one time. He…"
yesterday
Denise Lavoie commented on Jon-Paul Ackerman's group Lost My Spouse...
"You are right people dont get it.The sadness never goes away.I am gratiful the support is here."
yesterday
Linda Engberg commented on Jon-Paul Ackerman's group Lost My Spouse...
"Hi Denise, I learned a lot of things on this forum. The important one is everyone found their true SOULMATE and lost them. The world just doesn't understand why we don't want to carry on without them. THEY WILL NEVER GET IT.   "
Friday
Denise Lavoie commented on Jon-Paul Ackerman's group Lost My Spouse...
"The story about the whales is amazing.There are so many things about death I dont understand.I do know each day with out my husband is too hard to bear.I am very busy and active but l have a deep yearing to be with him.This will be the 3rd holiday…"
Friday
Emily is now a member of Online Grief Support - A Social Community
Friday
Linda Engberg commented on Jon-Paul Ackerman's group Lost My Spouse...
"Joe, Thank you for your post. I like Morgan gave me a lift. I have often thought about suicide but have no intention of doing away with myself because of my religion. I will not take the chance of never seeing Julian again I too do not go to the…"
Friday
Aimee Hall Fuszard joined Karen's group
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I miss my Mom!

If you have that hole in your heart that you get when you lose the woman that you shared a body with....
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