I'm...well I'm me, a fighter, a sister, a daughter. I care deeply about the ones I love. I can pretend I'm happy on the outside, but I feel like I'm dying inside. I don't tell anyone though. Death isn't necessarily a topic that can be brought up easily. Most of the time those that do know, can't relate and don't know what to say.
About my Loss:
I lost my older brother, Peter, on June 17, 2017. He was my best friend, my protector (since my dad wasn't in the picture), he was my hero. It all ended terribly. We found out he died about 6 hours after he passed.
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"Different today. Hurts as usual, but not like yesterday.
My stress goes through the roof at the slightest change in routine.
I have to break free of the pattern, the ritual, of Friday nights and Saturdays. My mother died on a Friday. But I cannot…"
"Today, I feel it.
It has been like this every Saturday since June, since the nurse at the care home called me to notify me that I could pick up my mother's effects. My mother died in April.
I am overwhelmed.
I am crushed.
I love you, Mom. I…"
"Sixteen weeks ago today, my mother died.
For some reason, I do not feel crushed today.
But every Friday is going to be like this, a reminder that she is dead. Not quite the kick in the stomach reminder that she is dead that I feel when I wake up…"
Carla is now a member of Online Grief Support - A Social Community