Alice Thompson
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Alice Thompson commented on Virginia G's blog post Post traumatic stress disorder
"Hello Virginia, I’m so sorry you are going through this hell. PTSD has been part of my grieving process too. I think that when we lose someone who is absolutely essential to us, our brains don’t have the ability to adjust to the changed…"
3 hours ago
Alice Thompson commented on Jon-Paul Ackerman's group Lost My Spouse...
"morgan, I am with you. It feels so unimaginably bad... it IS unimaginably bad, this ultimate loss we are suffering, living with. Who would want to go on under these circumstances that we are experiencing? Some people don’t feel as bad.…"
Apr 13
Alice Thompson commented on Jon-Paul Ackerman's group Lost My Spouse...
"joe and bluebird, I wish for you both to receive an undeniable sign too. I did get one about six weeks after he died. I hope I’m not being annoying in saying this. But it was very definite — proof that he still exists after bodily death,…"
Apr 10
Alice Thompson commented on Jon-Paul Ackerman's group Lost My Spouse...
"Hi Linda, yes — the worst has happened. It’s behind us but it’s also the everyday reality we have to live with. Sending you a hug, Alice "
Apr 9
Alice Thompson commented on Jon-Paul Ackerman's group Lost My Spouse...
"Morgan, thanks for getting it! For me, I think it felt like a surprising realisation because I don’t think of myself as afraid. But now I think I’m perhaps so very afraid that I can’t bear to think about it. It’s not anxiety…"
Apr 9
Alice Thompson commented on Jon-Paul Ackerman's group Lost My Spouse...
"Hello everyone, I think I’ve had a helpful realisation about my psychological state that I wanted to share, in case it rings any bells with fellow grievers. The rotten remains of the garden fence between me and my neighbours (who I don’t…"
Apr 9
Alice Thompson commented on morgan's blog post How long can I last?
"Dear Morgan, we are bearing the unbearable and therefore doing the impossible. No wonder we find ourselves in a place that doesn’t even relate to normal life. It is so cruel, to be put somewhere where you can’t have your love but neither…"
Apr 1
Alice Thompson commented on Jon-Paul Ackerman's group Lost My Spouse...
"Hello to everyone in this group, I hope you are all managing to get through the continuing days and nights. I just wanted to say how I am comforted in my worst moments by knowing you are out there, knowing what this is like. If anyone had told me…"
Mar 28
Alice Thompson replied to Maxey's discussion Has Not Happened in the group Lost My Spouse...
"Hi Maxey, Thanks for your honesty, and I feel the same. Personally, I hate it when people say it is our choice, to look forwards or back, etc, partly because that sounds like they are blaming the bereaved for feeling sad and missing their loves, and…"
Mar 19
Alice Thompson commented on Jon-Paul Ackerman's group Lost My Spouse...
"Thanks to you too, JenShep. It does me so much good to be able to tell someone who knows what I am talking about. My continuing relationship with him is the most real part of my life now, and while I do mention it to some people, mostly I let them…"
Mar 13
Alice Thompson commented on Jon-Paul Ackerman's group Lost My Spouse...
"Hello JenShep, I feel a similar way. Even though I don’t want to go on with life, I am clear now that taking the fatal step would devastate my adult children. That loss would do them more harm than my big loss has done or can do to me —…"
Mar 9
Alice Thompson commented on Jon-Paul Ackerman's group Lost My Spouse...
"It is so hard going through life when all you really want is for it to stop."
Mar 8
Alice Thompson commented on Jon-Paul Ackerman's group Lost My Spouse...
"Thanks from me too, Morgan, for expressing it so well. I keep looking for that thing to fix it all as well, banging my head against every brick wall in sight. Wolfman — me too, I’m so angry I was only allowed two and a half years with my…"
Jan 29
Alice Thompson replied to Lisa Lennon's discussion Don’t know where to start... in the group You're too young to be a widow
"Dear Lisa, I’m so very sorry you have gone through — and are still going through — not only the loss of your beloved, but the most awful trauma imaginable. I lost the love of my life suddenly three years ago in different…"
Jan 24
Alice Thompson joined Amy's group
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You're too young to be a widow

I never thought that I would be a widow in my forties.  My friends can't relate and feel the need to comment on everything, even if they have no experience with grief.  I know they mean well but only we know what we are going though.See More
Jan 24
Marjorie Willcox commented on Alice Thompson's blog post My life has become a scary nightmare again
"I don't quite know what I,m doing here but I want to reply to Alice & Morgan who both replied to me having just joined this forum. I reacted to the death of my husband by having a breakdown and was hospitalised for 2 months. I am still on a…"
Jan 21

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About my Loss:
I lost my partner suddenly in December 2014

Alice Thompson's Blog

My life has become a scary nightmare again

In general, I think I have been managing better in the latter half of this, my third year since my beloved died. How I describe it to anyone who will listen is that the first year was a crazy nightmare, in the second I forced myself to get out and try to create a new life, and in the third, I’ve been able to build on that new life — even though it’s mostly just a matter of going through the motions. I don’t actually WANT to be doing any of it. I feel like someone who has been kidnapped and…

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Posted on December 4, 2017 at 5:06pm — 4 Comments

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At 7:03am on July 30, 2017, Linda Engberg said…

Alice,

Thanks for your concern about Babie J. she seems to be improving, she can now sit up and use her front legs, the back ones are still weak, I had a wonderful vet who is trying everything to get her up and going again.

At 6:20pm on July 10, 2017, JenShep said…

Hi Alice!  Thanks for your note and I love your idea and it makes me feel better to think that someone out there thinks the way you do. I constantly find myself wanting others to believe what I think/feel but then I wonder why I need that validation. I think it's because I'm unsure and I question myself. So, I really appreciate your deep knowing - it's more validation for me :) And, I know what you mean. If everyone walked around thinking/believing that our loves were still here it wouldn't feel so awful. I sometimes feel okay because I really believe Tom is with me and some of the experiences I've had have been really reassuring.  But sometimes I just really crave his physical presence. The real, solid him.  His laughter, his thoughts/ideas, his big arms around me - and my not having to question it or wonder.  I go from certainty to uncertainty.  And that's where a lot of the ups and downs come in. Maybe along the way I will become more certain and it will get easier.  I hope. It's nice to share this with you :)

At 2:47am on April 22, 2016, Jimbo said…

Thanks Alice for your response. I have actually decorated a couple of rooms and thought that this was always my wife's job as she would have laughed and said that she was better at creativity than me. How true and I cried a few times during the painting as I knew that she would be tut tutting at my shortcuts. My problem is she always said to me that she would only leave this house when she died and that part became sadly true. Now I just think maybe I should get out and have a complete change. When I go away for a few days on vacation I come back feeling refreshed. I need to wait another 2 years until my daughter finishes school and she asked me not to move until she finished as most of her friends are there. So I kind of feel that I have a jail sentence of 2 years before I can make my move and hopefully shed some of the grief that surrounds me.

Thank you for replying as it is somehow helpful to know that someone understands you and is not judging you.

 

At 9:43am on April 10, 2016, O.L. Cato said…

Thanking everyone for their kind words.  It helps so much to know I am not alone in my suffering......the intense grief that I thought I was alone in, is shared with so many kind people.  Thank you for writing and praying and I pry for all of us.

At 1:26pm on February 22, 2016, O.L. Cato said…

Alice,

I can't believe my darling is gone.  The loneliness is almost unbearable.  It had been just US for the past five years.  John's COPD pretty much kept him tethered to his Oxygen machine and made our lives mostly solitary. He should have lived longer, his big heart finally gave out.  We knew what each other was thinking.  I don't know how I can go on without him.

At 5:40pm on January 17, 2016, Minky Merlin said…
Thanks from Minky.
At 4:22pm on October 27, 2015, Fran said…

Friends don't know until they go thru it. I look back now and remember I wasn't as empathetic as I would be/am now. I've had a lot of practice now....

 
 
 

Latest Activity

Alice Thompson commented on Virginia G's blog post Post traumatic stress disorder
"Hello Virginia, I’m so sorry you are going through this hell. PTSD has been part of my grieving process too. I think that when we lose someone who is absolutely essential to us, our brains don’t have the ability to adjust to the changed…"
3 hours ago
Virginia G posted a blog post

Post traumatic stress disorder

I am experiencing post traumatic stress disorder.  Some days I cry a lot, others not much.  I get upset when I don’t cry.  I feel as if I should be crying all day every day because the thing I feared the most my whole life happened.  How have I not had ten heart attacks by now?  Some days I have bad flashbacks of the hospital.  Other days I feel like I can’t process what happened.  Is my mind blocking what happened to protect me from the pain?  Sometimes I feel like I’m losing my mind.  Am I…See More
10 hours ago
Marlene Kublin is now a member of Online Grief Support - A Social Community
20 hours ago
Ginger posted a blog post

Today is 2 months since I lost my only daughter to cancer and to me being reminded in some way  of what used to be is a hard one for me. She was my best friend, we talked quite often and I visited on…

Today is 2 months since I lost my only daughter to cancer and to me being reminded in some way  of what used to be is a hard one for me. She was my best friend, we talked quite often and I visited on occasion. When friends talk about their adult daughters it brings to light the realization that I once had that and I don't anymore and the tears come. I guess when I'm not reminded,I want to still think she is here,only a phone call away. Already many things have changed, we used to talk on the…See More
yesterday
Linda Engberg replied to kathy's discussion loost my spouce in the group Lost My Spouse...
"Kathy, The group I belong to is "Still Mourn Husband after 5 Years" they also have other groups or you can start your own. Linda"
yesterday
lorraine knight posted a discussion

Grief that hits you at odd moments

While grocery shopping I noted a man sitting waiting for his wife as I surmised, my husband used to do wait patiently for me. It hit me hard that I no longer had anyone waiting for me.  So alone after 36 years.......See More
yesterday
AnneJ. commented on morgan's blog post How long can I last?
"Ah, Morgan. And Bluebird and Linda and Mel and Alice and all you others who let me walk with you from cave to cave during these dreadful years of an examined life. I'm so tired I can't even write lately; our old friends, where are they...…"
yesterday
kathy replied to kathy's discussion loost my spouce in the group Lost My Spouse...
"The discussion groups, are they on this web site?"
Tuesday
Linda Engberg replied to kathy's discussion loost my spouce in the group Lost My Spouse...
"Kathy, The best online support group I found is "Grief Healing Discussion Groups", my Husband has been gone 5 years and everyday is still hell, this site you on now did not help.  Linda  "
Tuesday
kathy added 2 discussions to the group Lost My Spouse...
Tuesday
kathy joined Jon-Paul Ackerman's group
Tuesday
Profile IconLeanne Lloyd, lorraine knight, Cristen Schone and 4 more joined Online Grief Support - A Social Community
Tuesday
Ginger replied to Michael Thompson's discussion I feel worse 2 and a half years on, than I ever did. in the group Losing Someone to Cancer
"I lost my daughter to cancer almost 2 months ago. I felt if I let myself go and laughed I would be forgetting about the memory of my  daughter,but recently I began to laugh at jokes but then I would pull back and remember my daughter and what…"
Tuesday
Ginger posted a blog post

Something is missing

I feel that a part of me is missing and I don't know what it is. I lost my only daughter to cancer 2 months ago,she was my best friend,she moved to FL with her husband and children but we talked on the phone every Mon. and Thurs. for hours. Before her passing,I was happy and didn't let things bother me,but now it seems like everything  bothers me especially the little things,and I have to force myself to be happy.See More
Tuesday
Vicki replied to Trevy Thomas's discussion Healing in the group Lost My Spouse...
"Dear Morgan, I so feel you. Grief is not one size fits all. Everyone's story is different and so is the grieving process and recovery or lack of. We all come here to express our feelings without judgement. This is the place where we can find…"
Monday
Eva Van posted a status
"4 years...Still missing her"
Monday
Hhertz updated their profile
Sunday
Susan and morgan are now friends
Sunday
Brett Bowman commented on Karen's group I miss my Mom!
"Marie and Joy, if you are still reading, I just want to let you know that I am thinking about both of you. God Bless you both."
Sunday
BLUEBELL commented on Karen's group I miss my Mom!
"No worries Theresa.  Bluebell"
Sunday

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