Alice Thompson
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Latest Activity

Alice Thompson commented on Jon-Paul Ackerman's group Lost My Spouse...
"Thanks Joe, that is wonderfully affirming — especially coming from a man I admire very much. "
Friday
Alice Thompson commented on Jon-Paul Ackerman's group Lost My Spouse...
"That’s lovely, Linda."
May 20
Alice Thompson commented on Jon-Paul Ackerman's group Lost My Spouse...
"I watched it too, and I cried, but they were good tears. I have been lucky enough in this life to be loved completely and that love continues. I love him more and more and I know it is the same for him. The physical phase is in the past and it will…"
May 20
Alice Thompson commented on Jon-Paul Ackerman's group Lost My Spouse...
"I wish I was allowed to follow him. I know I am repeating myself..."
May 8
Alice Thompson commented on Virginia G's blog post Post traumatic stress disorder
"Hello Virginia, I’m so sorry you are going through this hell. PTSD has been part of my grieving process too. I think that when we lose someone who is absolutely essential to us, our brains don’t have the ability to adjust to the changed…"
Apr 19
Alice Thompson commented on Jon-Paul Ackerman's group Lost My Spouse...
"morgan, I am with you. It feels so unimaginably bad... it IS unimaginably bad, this ultimate loss we are suffering, living with. Who would want to go on under these circumstances that we are experiencing? Some people don’t feel as bad.…"
Apr 13
Alice Thompson commented on Jon-Paul Ackerman's group Lost My Spouse...
"joe and bluebird, I wish for you both to receive an undeniable sign too. I did get one about six weeks after he died. I hope I’m not being annoying in saying this. But it was very definite — proof that he still exists after bodily death,…"
Apr 10
Alice Thompson commented on Jon-Paul Ackerman's group Lost My Spouse...
"Hi Linda, yes — the worst has happened. It’s behind us but it’s also the everyday reality we have to live with. Sending you a hug, Alice "
Apr 9
Alice Thompson commented on Jon-Paul Ackerman's group Lost My Spouse...
"Morgan, thanks for getting it! For me, I think it felt like a surprising realisation because I don’t think of myself as afraid. But now I think I’m perhaps so very afraid that I can’t bear to think about it. It’s not anxiety…"
Apr 9
Alice Thompson commented on Jon-Paul Ackerman's group Lost My Spouse...
"Hello everyone, I think I’ve had a helpful realisation about my psychological state that I wanted to share, in case it rings any bells with fellow grievers. The rotten remains of the garden fence between me and my neighbours (who I don’t…"
Apr 9
Alice Thompson commented on morgan's blog post How long can I last?
"Dear Morgan, we are bearing the unbearable and therefore doing the impossible. No wonder we find ourselves in a place that doesn’t even relate to normal life. It is so cruel, to be put somewhere where you can’t have your love but neither…"
Apr 1
Alice Thompson commented on Jon-Paul Ackerman's group Lost My Spouse...
"Hello to everyone in this group, I hope you are all managing to get through the continuing days and nights. I just wanted to say how I am comforted in my worst moments by knowing you are out there, knowing what this is like. If anyone had told me…"
Mar 28
Alice Thompson replied to Maxey's discussion Has Not Happened in the group Lost My Spouse...
"Hi Maxey, Thanks for your honesty, and I feel the same. Personally, I hate it when people say it is our choice, to look forwards or back, etc, partly because that sounds like they are blaming the bereaved for feeling sad and missing their loves, and…"
Mar 19
Alice Thompson commented on Jon-Paul Ackerman's group Lost My Spouse...
"Thanks to you too, JenShep. It does me so much good to be able to tell someone who knows what I am talking about. My continuing relationship with him is the most real part of my life now, and while I do mention it to some people, mostly I let them…"
Mar 13
Alice Thompson commented on Jon-Paul Ackerman's group Lost My Spouse...
"Hello JenShep, I feel a similar way. Even though I don’t want to go on with life, I am clear now that taking the fatal step would devastate my adult children. That loss would do them more harm than my big loss has done or can do to me —…"
Mar 9
Alice Thompson commented on Jon-Paul Ackerman's group Lost My Spouse...
"It is so hard going through life when all you really want is for it to stop."
Mar 8

Profile Information

About my Loss:
I lost my partner suddenly in December 2014

Alice Thompson's Blog

My life has become a scary nightmare again

In general, I think I have been managing better in the latter half of this, my third year since my beloved died. How I describe it to anyone who will listen is that the first year was a crazy nightmare, in the second I forced myself to get out and try to create a new life, and in the third, I’ve been able to build on that new life — even though it’s mostly just a matter of going through the motions. I don’t actually WANT to be doing any of it. I feel like someone who has been kidnapped and…

Continue

Posted on December 4, 2017 at 5:06pm — 4 Comments

Comment Wall (6 comments)

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At 7:03am on July 30, 2017, Linda Engberg said…

Alice,

Thanks for your concern about Babie J. she seems to be improving, she can now sit up and use her front legs, the back ones are still weak, I had a wonderful vet who is trying everything to get her up and going again.

At 6:20pm on July 10, 2017, JenShep said…

Hi Alice!  Thanks for your note and I love your idea and it makes me feel better to think that someone out there thinks the way you do. I constantly find myself wanting others to believe what I think/feel but then I wonder why I need that validation. I think it's because I'm unsure and I question myself. So, I really appreciate your deep knowing - it's more validation for me :) And, I know what you mean. If everyone walked around thinking/believing that our loves were still here it wouldn't feel so awful. I sometimes feel okay because I really believe Tom is with me and some of the experiences I've had have been really reassuring.  But sometimes I just really crave his physical presence. The real, solid him.  His laughter, his thoughts/ideas, his big arms around me - and my not having to question it or wonder.  I go from certainty to uncertainty.  And that's where a lot of the ups and downs come in. Maybe along the way I will become more certain and it will get easier.  I hope. It's nice to share this with you :)

At 9:43am on April 10, 2016, O.L. Cato said…

Thanking everyone for their kind words.  It helps so much to know I am not alone in my suffering......the intense grief that I thought I was alone in, is shared with so many kind people.  Thank you for writing and praying and I pry for all of us.

At 1:26pm on February 22, 2016, O.L. Cato said…

Alice,

I can't believe my darling is gone.  The loneliness is almost unbearable.  It had been just US for the past five years.  John's COPD pretty much kept him tethered to his Oxygen machine and made our lives mostly solitary. He should have lived longer, his big heart finally gave out.  We knew what each other was thinking.  I don't know how I can go on without him.

At 5:40pm on January 17, 2016, Minky Merlin said…
Thanks from Minky.
At 4:22pm on October 27, 2015, Fran said…

Friends don't know until they go thru it. I look back now and remember I wasn't as empathetic as I would be/am now. I've had a lot of practice now....

 
 
 

Latest Activity

Theresa commented on Karen's group I miss my Mom!
"Congratulations Avi!!!! Enjoy!!! Brett, I am anxious even before I get out of the bed and that starts everything my IBS, anxiety, headache, I will be honest I have taken Lexapro 5mg for a while after my mom passed, I stopped, I felt like a bloated…"
3 hours ago
Virginia G commented on Karen's group I miss my Mom!
"Brett do you not work regular hours since you’re up late always?   Today when I got up I said I was afraid to be awake.  This is how messed up my mind is."
7 hours ago
Brett Bowman commented on Karen's group I miss my Mom!
"Avi, your mom knows exactly how much you love her. She knows now more than ever."
7 hours ago
Brett Bowman commented on Karen's group I miss my Mom!
"Virginia, I think we would all want a do-over even if we had done everything right. I did cry in front of my mom on many occasions. I can't say that I regret that. I think all of that was an affirmation of love, though I am sure that it caused…"
7 hours ago
BLUEBELL commented on Karen's group I miss my Mom!
"My car is red too. It is such a happy color."
7 hours ago
BLUEBELL commented on Karen's group I miss my Mom!
"Awesome car Avi Bluebell"
7 hours ago
Avi commented on Karen's group I miss my Mom!
"Guys this is my first car, bought specifically as a wish of my deceased mother. She loved red. "
7 hours ago
Avi commented on Karen's group I miss my Mom!
7 hours ago
Avi commented on Karen's group I miss my Mom!
"Virginia, that is the biggest setback. We do not get a second chance. Yesterday my father told me something that is causing lot of pain, regret but I am still holding up my emotions. He told me about few gestures of me and my wife which used to hurt…"
7 hours ago
Virginia G commented on Karen's group I miss my Mom!
"Brett,  I cried in the oncologists office many times and in the radiologist office so I guess I’m really bad.  I am not strong like her. I should’ve thought of how she felt instead of my own fear.  I did this the whole…"
7 hours ago
Virginia G replied to Virginia G's discussion Daylight
"Britt, I think I am more jealous when I see other people, in particular families, because I don’t have mine now.  My world is upside down and I dont belong in it now.  I don’t feel as though I deserve to be happy because I have…"
8 hours ago
Brett Bowman commented on Karen's group I miss my Mom!
"That's just not what I pictured at all. No blue hair. No cat glasses. You probably don't even have a leopard print jumpsuit."
10 hours ago
Britt Steele replied to Virginia G's discussion Daylight
"Hey, I read your post.  I think I've gone through some of what you've felt.  Why do you feel as if you shouldn't live a happy life?  Have you removed yourself from some aspects of the reality of life to dull yourself of…"
10 hours ago
Britt Steele replied to Virginia G's discussion Daylight
"Virginia, I thought of some things, but I wanted to ask you some stuff, without making any presumptions.  Do you feel like you don't deserve to be happy like what you are seeing of the people you are seeing during the day?  Do you…"
10 hours ago
Theresa commented on Karen's group I miss my Mom!
"Great photo Bluebell!"
18 hours ago
BLUEBELL commented on Karen's group I miss my Mom!
21 hours ago
BLUEBELL commented on Karen's group I miss my Mom!
"I did not fall. I do not have high blood pressure. It was just a fluke with no apparent cause at this time. I am thinking of you all and wishing you the best. It makes me dizzy to read very much, so I have to keep it simple. I love you all. I am…"
21 hours ago
Avi commented on Karen's group I miss my Mom!
"Virginia, I had numbness when my mother took her last breath in ICU. I did not know what to do and doctor told me that she is not in good condition and just let her go. I requested them to try their best but did not ask too many questions. This was…"
yesterday
Theresa commented on Karen's group I miss my Mom!
"Sorry my computer is a little behind everyones posts are not showing up unless I click on them  sorry"
yesterday
Theresa commented on Karen's group I miss my Mom!
"Praying for you Bluebell."
yesterday

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