Alice Thompson
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Alice Thompson commented on Jon-Paul Ackerman's group Lost My Spouse...
"Thanks from me too, Morgan, for expressing it so well. I keep looking for that thing to fix it all as well, banging my head against every brick wall in sight. Wolfman — me too, I’m so angry I was only allowed two and a half years with my…"
Jan 29
Alice Thompson replied to Lisa Lennon's discussion Don’t know where to start... in the group You're too young to be a widow
"Dear Lisa, I’m so very sorry you have gone through — and are still going through — not only the loss of your beloved, but the most awful trauma imaginable. I lost the love of my life suddenly three years ago in different…"
Jan 24
Alice Thompson joined Amy's group
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You're too young to be a widow

I never thought that I would be a widow in my forties.  My friends can't relate and feel the need to comment on everything, even if they have no experience with grief.  I know they mean well but only we know what we are going though.See More
Jan 24
Marjorie Willcox commented on Alice Thompson's blog post My life has become a scary nightmare again
"I don't quite know what I,m doing here but I want to reply to Alice & Morgan who both replied to me having just joined this forum. I reacted to the death of my husband by having a breakdown and was hospitalised for 2 months. I am still on a…"
Jan 21
Alice Thompson left a comment for morgan
"My dear Morgan, I am thinking of you as you go through this dark tunnel reliving the end. I did that myself recently, as you know, and it is indescribable. Baby steps, as you say. That’s all we can do. With my love, Alice "
Jan 18
Alice Thompson commented on Marjorie Willcox's blog post Loss of my husband
"Hello Marjorie, I just wanted to say how sorry I am. I lost the love of my three years ago. It is hellish. Sometimes life is more bearable than at others, but the fact remains that the worst thing possible has happened to me, and it remains a fact…"
Jan 18
Alice Thompson and M Adams are now friends
Jan 8
Alice Thompson posted a status
"Heading straight for my love, at the speed of life."
Jan 8
Alice Thompson replied to Jon-Paul Ackerman's discussion Over 3 years now... in the group Lost My Spouse...
"I think the reason for me is to continue living for him, to live my life as he would live it — to give him the life that was taken from him too early. Fortunately we were very similar and loved doing the same things."
Jan 7
Alice Thompson commented on Jon-Paul Ackerman's group Lost My Spouse...
"Hello Debbie and Edward, I am so sorry for both of you that life has dealt this devastating blow. I hope this group will help in some way. There are some truly wonderful people here who have managed to survive this and learned many lessons on the…"
Jan 1
Alice Thompson commented on Jon-Paul Ackerman's group Lost My Spouse...
"Me too. I don’t know if I am the only one who sometimes feels guilty for “being negative” in this group, given that it can horrify newcomers who are more recently bereaved, to read that after three years it is possible to feel just…"
Dec 30, 2017
Alice Thompson commented on Jon-Paul Ackerman's group Lost My Spouse...
"“When the love of your life dies, the problem is not that some part of you dies too, which it does, but that some part of you is still alive.” Jackie Kay, Trumpet"
Dec 22, 2017
Alice Thompson and nat are now friends
Dec 18, 2017
Alice Thompson left a comment for nat
"Dear Nat, I’m so very sorry you had to lose your beloved husband. I wish you strength and comfort as you make your way through these early days and nights. There are many kind souls on this site who know about deep pain, and I recommend…"
Dec 16, 2017
Alice Thompson commented on Jon-Paul Ackerman's group Lost My Spouse...
"Thank you, Linda and Morgan. It just hurts so much for all of us."
Dec 15, 2017
Alice Thompson commented on Jon-Paul Ackerman's group Lost My Spouse...
"I feel the same. My love had a comprehensive stroke on 22 December, and died in hospital at 10pm on New Years Eve. Then I went “home” in a taxi amid fireworks."
Dec 14, 2017

Profile Information

About my Loss:
I lost my partner suddenly in December 2014

Alice Thompson's Blog

My life has become a scary nightmare again

In general, I think I have been managing better in the latter half of this, my third year since my beloved died. How I describe it to anyone who will listen is that the first year was a crazy nightmare, in the second I forced myself to get out and try to create a new life, and in the third, I’ve been able to build on that new life — even though it’s mostly just a matter of going through the motions. I don’t actually WANT to be doing any of it. I feel like someone who has been kidnapped and…

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Posted on December 4, 2017 at 5:06pm — 4 Comments

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At 7:03am on July 30, 2017, Linda Engberg said…

Alice,

Thanks for your concern about Babie J. she seems to be improving, she can now sit up and use her front legs, the back ones are still weak, I had a wonderful vet who is trying everything to get her up and going again.

At 6:20pm on July 10, 2017, JenShep said…

Hi Alice!  Thanks for your note and I love your idea and it makes me feel better to think that someone out there thinks the way you do. I constantly find myself wanting others to believe what I think/feel but then I wonder why I need that validation. I think it's because I'm unsure and I question myself. So, I really appreciate your deep knowing - it's more validation for me :) And, I know what you mean. If everyone walked around thinking/believing that our loves were still here it wouldn't feel so awful. I sometimes feel okay because I really believe Tom is with me and some of the experiences I've had have been really reassuring.  But sometimes I just really crave his physical presence. The real, solid him.  His laughter, his thoughts/ideas, his big arms around me - and my not having to question it or wonder.  I go from certainty to uncertainty.  And that's where a lot of the ups and downs come in. Maybe along the way I will become more certain and it will get easier.  I hope. It's nice to share this with you :)

At 2:47am on April 22, 2016, Jimbo said…

Thanks Alice for your response. I have actually decorated a couple of rooms and thought that this was always my wife's job as she would have laughed and said that she was better at creativity than me. How true and I cried a few times during the painting as I knew that she would be tut tutting at my shortcuts. My problem is she always said to me that she would only leave this house when she died and that part became sadly true. Now I just think maybe I should get out and have a complete change. When I go away for a few days on vacation I come back feeling refreshed. I need to wait another 2 years until my daughter finishes school and she asked me not to move until she finished as most of her friends are there. So I kind of feel that I have a jail sentence of 2 years before I can make my move and hopefully shed some of the grief that surrounds me.

Thank you for replying as it is somehow helpful to know that someone understands you and is not judging you.

 

At 9:43am on April 10, 2016, O.L. Cato said…

Thanking everyone for their kind words.  It helps so much to know I am not alone in my suffering......the intense grief that I thought I was alone in, is shared with so many kind people.  Thank you for writing and praying and I pry for all of us.

At 1:26pm on February 22, 2016, O.L. Cato said…

Alice,

I can't believe my darling is gone.  The loneliness is almost unbearable.  It had been just US for the past five years.  John's COPD pretty much kept him tethered to his Oxygen machine and made our lives mostly solitary. He should have lived longer, his big heart finally gave out.  We knew what each other was thinking.  I don't know how I can go on without him.

At 5:40pm on January 17, 2016, Minky Merlin said…
Thanks from Minky.
At 4:22pm on October 27, 2015, Fran said…

Friends don't know until they go thru it. I look back now and remember I wasn't as empathetic as I would be/am now. I've had a lot of practice now....

 
 
 

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Linda Engberg commented on Jon-Paul Ackerman's group Lost My Spouse...
"Thank you, same to you, Thank God for this website"
22 hours ago
bluebird commented on Jon-Paul Ackerman's group Lost My Spouse...
"Just offering a hug and sympathy."
yesterday
Linda Engberg commented on Jon-Paul Ackerman's group Lost My Spouse...
"Hi Bluebird, What are you trying to let me know? Linda"
yesterday
bluebird commented on Jon-Paul Ackerman's group Lost My Spouse...
"(((((Linda)))))"
yesterday
Marjorie Willcox commented on Jon-Paul Ackerman's group Lost My Spouse...
"Dear Linda I feel for you and me   I feel my life is over but I have to go on living"
yesterday
Linda Engberg commented on Jon-Paul Ackerman's group Lost My Spouse...
"Bluebird, I feel exactly like you and it has been five years, I wish God would take me. I live in misery everyday. "
yesterday
L.O commented on Jon-Paul Ackerman's group Lost My Spouse...
"Thank you marjorie, i worry about everything now especially when it involves my children x"
Monday
Patricia Chavez posted a discussion

So painful without my mommy

Hi my name is Patricia ,  I’m a new member.. I cared for my mom in my home for 15 years .. last year she started getting weak. I don’t speak to any my sisters either , they are accusing me of helping Hospice poison my mother with morphine .. They never helped me care for my mom, I’d have to beg them and they always caused an argument and would block themselves from phone calls to help with my mom .. They I would go as far as to call my mother and I ask my mom “why doesn’t Patricia put you in a…See More
Monday
Marjorie Willcox commented on Jon-Paul Ackerman's group Lost My Spouse...
"I'm on mertazapine which I take mid evening.it makes me sleep all night but have no trouble waking up."
Monday
Patricia Chavez posted photos
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Patricia Chavez updated their profile
Monday
L.O commented on Jon-Paul Ackerman's group Lost My Spouse...
"Well been to drs again and they still cant find out why im having chest pains (in even had a heart scan) They put me on new meds mirtazapine but im afraid to take them as i heard its hard to wake up and having young children i need to be able to get…"
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Laura Reaume posted a photo

3F217BF3-97E9-46CE-A7FE-184C8E653505

My love Kris and I in Salzburg Austria in 2011
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Laura Reaume updated their profile
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Profile IconAlison McCarron, Patricia Chavez, Amber L. Metzger-Stathas and 9 more joined Online Grief Support - A Social Community
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Jo l posted a status
"Everyday is a struggle now"
Monday
Jenni H posted a blog post

Totally tired of my life and lack of emotions.

My mother had a stroke in October of 2015. She changed over night due to the aphasia and brain damage. She was a new person, half of who she once was. I began grieving my mother in October. I turned of all emotion and detached myself during the caregiving. It was just way too hard for me to deal with her conditions and my father's emotions. My family are gifted with abilities, mine was empathy and third sight. Most may not believe in that stuff, but it is more than real to me due to years of…See More
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