"Hello Linda, welcome to this site, and am so sorry you have lost your precious husband. My amazing partner died at the very end of 2014, and so far, I believe my life has changed forever. Right now I am reaching out in a religious direction, but…"
"Good luck, Pamela :-) It is so hard to live among others when your inner life is so different from theirs. I think that after the first year I gave up expecting anyone to understand what is really going on for me. Sometimes I tell them anyway, but…"
"I'm so sorry, Bluebird. The mornings are a nightmare, I agree, but the late evenings, that prospect of slipping into unconsciousness (if only it could be permanent)can be such a relief. Your steadfast, committed love for your husband shines out…"
"Hello dear Maxey, I know just what you are talking about. So many of us here really do feel that deep pain that you do, and we know the nightmare feeling that sometimes comes at us, head on, in crashing waves of: "NO!! This cannot be…"
"Bruce, I am so sorry you are heartbroken and suffering so profoundly after the enormous, the ultimate loss of your precious wife. Many people here know know all about the pain of missing their love, their other half. All we can do is somehow get…"
"Hello Helen, welcome to this group and I'm so very sorry you have had to find your way here. This site has been a great help to me since I lost the love of my life. It doesn't ease the pain (nothing does) but it makes me feel accompanied…"
"Hi Maxey, I actually do believe my love is still with me, and I have this life with him nobody could understand. I've started bringing this up in conversation with people a couple of times, but soon stopped when I heard the sound of what I was…"
"Jennifer, I remember when the anger started burning inside me too. It was horrible and ugly and scary, and immensely powerful. I felt afraid to open my mouth in front of others in case I screamed and yelled and told them what I thought of them and…"
"...though, and now I'm still trying to continue with my life because I must, because I don't want to hurt anyone I love, and because he would have wanted me to go on. Nothing will ever be the same. I try to hold him close, and involve him…"
"Hi Jennifer, I'm so sorry too that you're going through this and are in unbearable pain. Do write anything you like here. In my experience it's one of the few things that helps, writing and reading what others say about their huge…"
"Hi Cynthia, I am so sorry. I remember the weeks around the first anniversary of my love's death being the very worst period of grief for me. Looking back (it's now been two years and eight months for me) I think it was because the shock…"
Thanks for your concern about Babie J. she seems to be improving, she can now sit up and use her front legs, the back ones are still weak, I had a wonderful vet who is trying everything to get her up and going again."
Thanks for your concern about Babie J. she seems to be improving, she can now sit up and use her front legs, the back ones are still weak, I had a wonderful vet who is trying everything to get her up and going again.
Hi Alice! Thanks for your note and I love your idea and it makes me feel better to think that someone out there thinks the way you do. I constantly find myself wanting others to believe what I think/feel but then I wonder why I need that validation. I think it's because I'm unsure and I question myself. So, I really appreciate your deep knowing - it's more validation for me :) And, I know what you mean. If everyone walked around thinking/believing that our loves were still here it wouldn't feel so awful. I sometimes feel okay because I really believe Tom is with me and some of the experiences I've had have been really reassuring. But sometimes I just really crave his physical presence. The real, solid him. His laughter, his thoughts/ideas, his big arms around me - and my not having to question it or wonder. I go from certainty to uncertainty. And that's where a lot of the ups and downs come in. Maybe along the way I will become more certain and it will get easier. I hope. It's nice to share this with you :)
Thanks Alice for your response. I have actually decorated a couple of rooms and thought that this was always my wife's job as she would have laughed and said that she was better at creativity than me. How true and I cried a few times during the painting as I knew that she would be tut tutting at my shortcuts. My problem is she always said to me that she would only leave this house when she died and that part became sadly true. Now I just think maybe I should get out and have a complete change. When I go away for a few days on vacation I come back feeling refreshed. I need to wait another 2 years until my daughter finishes school and she asked me not to move until she finished as most of her friends are there. So I kind of feel that I have a jail sentence of 2 years before I can make my move and hopefully shed some of the grief that surrounds me.
Thank you for replying as it is somehow helpful to know that someone understands you and is not judging you.
Thanking everyone for their kind words. It helps so much to know I am not alone in my suffering......the intense grief that I thought I was alone in, is shared with so many kind people. Thank you for writing and praying and I pry for all of us.
I can't believe my darling is gone. The loneliness is almost unbearable. It had been just US for the past five years. John's COPD pretty much kept him tethered to his Oxygen machine and made our lives mostly solitary. He should have lived longer, his big heart finally gave out. We knew what each other was thinking. I don't know how I can go on without him.
" Thank you for the big hugs and prayers Luisa. Stay safe on your journey. Thank you Theresa for reminding me that God is always with us. I will be praying for all of us as we get through this one day.
"Bluebell big hugs and prayers sent your way!
Big Hugs and prayers to all.
I have been really irritable and emotional all week. Dealing with a lot of stress at work right now and somewhat dreading Thanksgiving. So we’re here, and Teresa’s…"
"So today is Thanksgiving, we will all get through this day and tomorrow will be back to normal, the next hurdle is Christmas.
Its a tough month for me it will be 18 years on 12/14 for my dad and 2 years on 12/19 for my mom and my grandmom on…"
"I had a visual experience after my husband died. I was in bed at the time and could not get to sleep so I just lay on my back and stared up at the ceiling. Suddenly the room filled with a brilliant white light tinged around the edges with mauve. In…"