Alice Thompson
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Alice Thompson commented on Jon-Paul Ackerman's group Lost My Spouse...
"Hello Mary, welcome to this group — I’m so very sorry you are suffering the loss of your love, as we are. This is a place full of people who know all too well about the deepest pain of all and yours can be heard and…"
Jul 6
Alice Thompson commented on Jon-Paul Ackerman's group Lost My Spouse...
"While I try my best these days to honour life by living it, the fundamental fact remains that I do not want to be here now that he is dead. So whenever anything challenging happens (several times a day), I completely despair and feel exhausted,…"
Jul 5
Alice Thompson commented on Jon-Paul Ackerman's group Lost My Spouse...
"Thanks Joe, that is wonderfully affirming — especially coming from a man I admire very much. "
Jun 22
Alice Thompson commented on Jon-Paul Ackerman's group Lost My Spouse...
"That’s lovely, Linda."
May 20
Alice Thompson commented on Jon-Paul Ackerman's group Lost My Spouse...
"I watched it too, and I cried, but they were good tears. I have been lucky enough in this life to be loved completely and that love continues. I love him more and more and I know it is the same for him. The physical phase is in the past and it will…"
May 20
Alice Thompson commented on Jon-Paul Ackerman's group Lost My Spouse...
"I wish I was allowed to follow him. I know I am repeating myself..."
May 8
Alice Thompson commented on Virginia G's blog post Post traumatic stress disorder
"Hello Virginia, I’m so sorry you are going through this hell. PTSD has been part of my grieving process too. I think that when we lose someone who is absolutely essential to us, our brains don’t have the ability to adjust to the changed…"
Apr 19
Alice Thompson commented on Jon-Paul Ackerman's group Lost My Spouse...
"morgan, I am with you. It feels so unimaginably bad... it IS unimaginably bad, this ultimate loss we are suffering, living with. Who would want to go on under these circumstances that we are experiencing? Some people don’t feel as bad.…"
Apr 13
Alice Thompson commented on Jon-Paul Ackerman's group Lost My Spouse...
"joe and bluebird, I wish for you both to receive an undeniable sign too. I did get one about six weeks after he died. I hope I’m not being annoying in saying this. But it was very definite — proof that he still exists after bodily death,…"
Apr 10
Alice Thompson commented on Jon-Paul Ackerman's group Lost My Spouse...
"Hi Linda, yes — the worst has happened. It’s behind us but it’s also the everyday reality we have to live with. Sending you a hug, Alice "
Apr 9
Alice Thompson commented on Jon-Paul Ackerman's group Lost My Spouse...
"Morgan, thanks for getting it! For me, I think it felt like a surprising realisation because I don’t think of myself as afraid. But now I think I’m perhaps so very afraid that I can’t bear to think about it. It’s not anxiety…"
Apr 9
Alice Thompson commented on Jon-Paul Ackerman's group Lost My Spouse...
"Hello everyone, I think I’ve had a helpful realisation about my psychological state that I wanted to share, in case it rings any bells with fellow grievers. The rotten remains of the garden fence between me and my neighbours (who I don’t…"
Apr 9
Alice Thompson commented on morgan's blog post How long can I last?
"Dear Morgan, we are bearing the unbearable and therefore doing the impossible. No wonder we find ourselves in a place that doesn’t even relate to normal life. It is so cruel, to be put somewhere where you can’t have your love but neither…"
Apr 1
Alice Thompson commented on Jon-Paul Ackerman's group Lost My Spouse...
"Hello to everyone in this group, I hope you are all managing to get through the continuing days and nights. I just wanted to say how I am comforted in my worst moments by knowing you are out there, knowing what this is like. If anyone had told me…"
Mar 28
Alice Thompson replied to Maxey's discussion Has Not Happened in the group Lost My Spouse...
"Hi Maxey, Thanks for your honesty, and I feel the same. Personally, I hate it when people say it is our choice, to look forwards or back, etc, partly because that sounds like they are blaming the bereaved for feeling sad and missing their loves, and…"
Mar 19
Alice Thompson commented on Jon-Paul Ackerman's group Lost My Spouse...
"Thanks to you too, JenShep. It does me so much good to be able to tell someone who knows what I am talking about. My continuing relationship with him is the most real part of my life now, and while I do mention it to some people, mostly I let them…"
Mar 13

Profile Information

About my Loss:
I lost my partner suddenly in December 2014

Alice Thompson's Blog

My life has become a scary nightmare again

In general, I think I have been managing better in the latter half of this, my third year since my beloved died. How I describe it to anyone who will listen is that the first year was a crazy nightmare, in the second I forced myself to get out and try to create a new life, and in the third, I’ve been able to build on that new life — even though it’s mostly just a matter of going through the motions. I don’t actually WANT to be doing any of it. I feel like someone who has been kidnapped and…

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Posted on December 4, 2017 at 5:06pm — 4 Comments

Comment Wall (6 comments)

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At 7:03am on July 30, 2017, Linda Engberg said…

Alice,

Thanks for your concern about Babie J. she seems to be improving, she can now sit up and use her front legs, the back ones are still weak, I had a wonderful vet who is trying everything to get her up and going again.

At 6:20pm on July 10, 2017, JenShep said…

Hi Alice!  Thanks for your note and I love your idea and it makes me feel better to think that someone out there thinks the way you do. I constantly find myself wanting others to believe what I think/feel but then I wonder why I need that validation. I think it's because I'm unsure and I question myself. So, I really appreciate your deep knowing - it's more validation for me :) And, I know what you mean. If everyone walked around thinking/believing that our loves were still here it wouldn't feel so awful. I sometimes feel okay because I really believe Tom is with me and some of the experiences I've had have been really reassuring.  But sometimes I just really crave his physical presence. The real, solid him.  His laughter, his thoughts/ideas, his big arms around me - and my not having to question it or wonder.  I go from certainty to uncertainty.  And that's where a lot of the ups and downs come in. Maybe along the way I will become more certain and it will get easier.  I hope. It's nice to share this with you :)

At 9:43am on April 10, 2016, O.L. Cato said…

Thanking everyone for their kind words.  It helps so much to know I am not alone in my suffering......the intense grief that I thought I was alone in, is shared with so many kind people.  Thank you for writing and praying and I pry for all of us.

At 1:26pm on February 22, 2016, O.L. Cato said…

Alice,

I can't believe my darling is gone.  The loneliness is almost unbearable.  It had been just US for the past five years.  John's COPD pretty much kept him tethered to his Oxygen machine and made our lives mostly solitary. He should have lived longer, his big heart finally gave out.  We knew what each other was thinking.  I don't know how I can go on without him.

At 5:40pm on January 17, 2016, Minky Merlin said…
Thanks from Minky.
At 4:22pm on October 27, 2015, Fran said…

Friends don't know until they go thru it. I look back now and remember I wasn't as empathetic as I would be/am now. I've had a lot of practice now....

 
 
 

Latest Activity

Linda Engberg commented on Jon-Paul Ackerman's group Lost My Spouse...
"Hi Morgan, As you always do in your posts, you take the words right out of my mouth.  Linda"
2 hours ago
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4 hours ago
morgan commented on Jon-Paul Ackerman's group Lost My Spouse...
"Before this nightmare I myself would never have imagined how debilitating the loss of a spouse is. Tracy B 2014 I thought I would be able to focus on my career to help me heal, but I don't even like going to work any more. At home, I can't…"
13 hours ago
Shari Darling updated their profile
16 hours ago
Christopher commented on Amy's group You're too young to be a widow
"Some days you try, but you just can't. Whatever you needed just didn't work that day. The first 4 years were rough and she didn't want me to be alone. Unfortunately, I am alone. Society shuns widowers. The most common question I get…"
16 hours ago
Christopher joined Amy's group
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You're too young to be a widow

I never thought that I would be a widow in my forties.  My friends can't relate and feel the need to comment on everything, even if they have no experience with grief.  I know they mean well but only we know what we are going though.See More
16 hours ago
Christopher updated their profile
16 hours ago
M Adams left a comment for Michael Thompson
"Thank you for posting your tribute article - so evocative and insightful.  What you said about things you did together and also things you did alone being stripped of all meaning is exactly true.  Everything is emptied out."
19 hours ago
Tara Gibson is now a member of Online Grief Support - A Social Community
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Michael Thompson and M Adams are now friends
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Monty and Crystal Parker are now friends
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JenShep and Geraldine Brown are now friends
yesterday
JenShep replied to Madeleine's discussion What would you do if you could have your lost loved one back for just five minutes?
"bluebird, that's the perfect answer and exactly what I'd want. I think about this all the time. I also think of how hard it would be to have him back for 5 minutes and then to have to lose him again if I wasn't able to follow him. For…"
yesterday
Michael Thompson commented on Katherine Ellis's group Losing Someone to Cancer
"Hello everybody.  Roughly a year after my wife died of Bowel Cancer following a 22 year marriage, we married in 1992, my wife died in 2014, I decided to write an article to my local paper about grief from the left behind spouses point of view,…"
Thursday
Michael Thompson commented on Katherine Ellis's group Losing Someone to Cancer
"Hello everybody.  Roughly a year after my wife died of Bowel Cancer following a 22 year marriage, we married in 1992, my wife died in 2014, I decided to write an article to my local paper about grief from the left behind spouses point of view,…"
Thursday
Michael Thompson commented on Katherine Ellis's group Losing Someone to Cancer
"Hello everybody.  Roughly a year after my wife died of Bowel Cancer following a 22 year marriage, I decided to write an article to my local paper about grief from the left behind spouses point of view, whilst also playing tribute to my late…"
Thursday
Crystal Parker joined Julie Dolsey-Weiss's group
Thursday
Crystal Parker commented on Jon-Paul Ackerman's group Lost My Spouse...
"Hi guys I lost my husband January 30th 2017 .. he committed suicide by our house. Night is still a struggle for me I know its still hard for our kids too but sometimes I dont know how to be or act .. he did all the Bill's and went to work I…"
Thursday
Crystal Parker joined Jon-Paul Ackerman's group
Thursday
Crystal Parker and Britt Steele are now friends
Thursday

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