Alice Thompson
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Alice Thompson commented on Jon-Paul Ackerman's group Lost My Spouse...
"I'm so sorry, Bluebird. The mornings are a nightmare, I agree, but the late evenings, that prospect of slipping into unconsciousness (if only it could be permanent)can be such a relief. Your steadfast, committed love for your husband shines out…"
11 hours ago
Alice Thompson replied to Maxey's discussion Total numbness in the group Lost My Spouse...
"Hello dear Maxey, I know just what you are talking about. So many of us here really do feel that deep pain that you do, and we know the nightmare feeling that sometimes comes at us, head on, in crashing waves of: "NO!! This cannot be…"
Sep 13
Alice Thompson commented on Jon-Paul Ackerman's group Lost My Spouse...
"Bruce, I am so sorry you are heartbroken and suffering so profoundly after the enormous, the ultimate loss of your precious wife. Many people here know know all about the pain of missing their love, their other half. All we can do is somehow get…"
Sep 3
Alice Thompson replied to Helen Maez's discussion Lossing Spouse
"Hello Helen, welcome to this group and I'm so very sorry you have had to find your way here. This site has been a great help to me since I lost the love of my life. It doesn't ease the pain (nothing does) but it makes me feel accompanied…"
Aug 26
Alice Thompson replied to Maxey's discussion Moved, but nothing changes in the group Lost My Spouse...
"Hi Maxey, I actually do believe my love is still with me, and I have this life with him nobody could understand. I've started bringing this up in conversation with people a couple of times, but soon stopped when I heard the sound of what I was…"
Aug 19
Alice Thompson commented on Jon-Paul Ackerman's group Lost My Spouse...
"Jennifer, I remember when the anger started burning inside me too. It was horrible and ugly and scary, and immensely powerful. I felt afraid to open my mouth in front of others in case I screamed and yelled and told them what I thought of them and…"
Aug 17
Alice Thompson commented on Jennifer's blog post The Loss of my Husband.
"...though, and now I'm still trying to continue with my life because I must, because I don't want to hurt anyone I love, and because he would have wanted me to go on. Nothing will ever be the same. I try to hold him close, and involve him…"
Aug 11
Alice Thompson commented on Jennifer's blog post The Loss of my Husband.
"Hi Jennifer, I'm so sorry too that you're going through this and are in unbearable pain. Do write anything you like here. In my experience it's one of the few things that helps, writing and reading what others say about their huge…"
Aug 11
Alice Thompson commented on Cynthia's blog post Losing your spouse
"Hi Cynthia, I am so sorry. I remember the weeks around the first anniversary of my love's death being the very worst period of grief for me. Looking back (it's now been two years and eight months for me) I think it was because the shock…"
Jul 30
Linda Engberg left a comment for Alice Thompson
"Alice, Thanks for your concern about Babie J. she seems to be improving, she can now sit up and use her front legs, the back ones are still weak, I had a wonderful vet who is trying everything to get her up and going again."
Jul 30
Alice Thompson left a comment for Linda Engberg
"Linda, I'm so glad Babie J is at least a little better. My heart goes out to you."
Jul 30
Alice Thompson commented on Jon-Paul Ackerman's group Lost My Spouse...
"Bluebird, I am so sorry about Benny, and am thinking about you in your grief over your precious companion. It is beautiful, the way you loved him and held him to the end. A big hug to you."
Jul 17
JenShep left a comment for Alice Thompson
"Hi Alice!  Thanks for your note and I love your idea and it makes me feel better to think that someone out there thinks the way you do. I constantly find myself wanting others to believe what I think/feel but then I wonder why I need that…"
Jul 10
Alice Thompson left a comment for JenShep
"Hello Jen, it was wonderful to read about your love's vibration visit, and it warmed my heart. Sometimes I think grief is only this hard because we are trying to live in a world that believes our loves are absent, whereas the reality is that…"
Jul 6
Alice Thompson commented on Jon-Paul Ackerman's group Lost My Spouse...
"Mary, my friends probably think I am too negative too. But what is "too negative"? I would say I am appropriately negative since my one and only great love has died. And every day that dawns he will continue to be dead. Now I put on a face…"
Jun 29
Alice Thompson commented on Jon-Paul Ackerman's group Lost My Spouse...
"Bluebird, I am so so sorry. I am thinking of you and send you a big hug."
Jun 29

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About my Loss:
I lost my partner suddenly in December 2014

Comment Wall (7 comments)

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At 7:03am on July 30, 2017, Linda Engberg said…

Alice,

Thanks for your concern about Babie J. she seems to be improving, she can now sit up and use her front legs, the back ones are still weak, I had a wonderful vet who is trying everything to get her up and going again.

At 6:20pm on July 10, 2017, JenShep said…

Hi Alice!  Thanks for your note and I love your idea and it makes me feel better to think that someone out there thinks the way you do. I constantly find myself wanting others to believe what I think/feel but then I wonder why I need that validation. I think it's because I'm unsure and I question myself. So, I really appreciate your deep knowing - it's more validation for me :) And, I know what you mean. If everyone walked around thinking/believing that our loves were still here it wouldn't feel so awful. I sometimes feel okay because I really believe Tom is with me and some of the experiences I've had have been really reassuring.  But sometimes I just really crave his physical presence. The real, solid him.  His laughter, his thoughts/ideas, his big arms around me - and my not having to question it or wonder.  I go from certainty to uncertainty.  And that's where a lot of the ups and downs come in. Maybe along the way I will become more certain and it will get easier.  I hope. It's nice to share this with you :)

At 2:47am on April 22, 2016, Jimbo said…

Thanks Alice for your response. I have actually decorated a couple of rooms and thought that this was always my wife's job as she would have laughed and said that she was better at creativity than me. How true and I cried a few times during the painting as I knew that she would be tut tutting at my shortcuts. My problem is she always said to me that she would only leave this house when she died and that part became sadly true. Now I just think maybe I should get out and have a complete change. When I go away for a few days on vacation I come back feeling refreshed. I need to wait another 2 years until my daughter finishes school and she asked me not to move until she finished as most of her friends are there. So I kind of feel that I have a jail sentence of 2 years before I can make my move and hopefully shed some of the grief that surrounds me.

Thank you for replying as it is somehow helpful to know that someone understands you and is not judging you.

 

At 9:43am on April 10, 2016, O.L. Cato said…

Thanking everyone for their kind words.  It helps so much to know I am not alone in my suffering......the intense grief that I thought I was alone in, is shared with so many kind people.  Thank you for writing and praying and I pry for all of us.

At 1:26pm on February 22, 2016, O.L. Cato said…

Alice,

I can't believe my darling is gone.  The loneliness is almost unbearable.  It had been just US for the past five years.  John's COPD pretty much kept him tethered to his Oxygen machine and made our lives mostly solitary. He should have lived longer, his big heart finally gave out.  We knew what each other was thinking.  I don't know how I can go on without him.

At 5:40pm on January 17, 2016, Minky Merlin said…
Thanks from Minky.
At 4:22pm on October 27, 2015, Fran said…

Friends don't know until they go thru it. I look back now and remember I wasn't as empathetic as I would be/am now. I've had a lot of practice now....

 
 
 

Latest Activity

Trina Mamoon commented on Jon-Paul Ackerman's group Lost My Spouse...
"Dear bluebird, There are no words to offer you as you mark the fifth anniversary of your beloved husband's passing. I can only say that I feel deeply for you, and my heart aches at your pain. I know the feeling you are describing only too well.…"
10 hours ago
Amy Cowan joined Karen's group
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I miss my Mom!

If you have that hole in your heart that you get when you lose the woman that you shared a body with....
10 hours ago
MIchael Ortiz commented on Bethany's blog post Drowning...
"Its been 3 months since I lost my love. I had to do it alone. I hope you have family or someone you can just vent and they just listen.I still feel pain and ups and downs.One second I think I am better and boom.Have no clue what sets it off. Do what…"
11 hours ago
bluebird commented on Bethany's blog post Drowning...
"You aren't doing it to yourself -- your grief and your loss are doing it to you.  It sucks, but that's what grief and loss do.  It's quite common to feel that things are getting better for a while, and then find yourself…"
11 hours ago
Alice Thompson commented on Jon-Paul Ackerman's group Lost My Spouse...
"I'm so sorry, Bluebird. The mornings are a nightmare, I agree, but the late evenings, that prospect of slipping into unconsciousness (if only it could be permanent)can be such a relief. Your steadfast, committed love for your husband shines out…"
11 hours ago
Brett Bowman commented on Karen's group I miss my Mom!
"Crystal, you know that you are not being the least bit irrational. My mom died on Christmas Eve. We all knew that it would be mom's last Christmas. She called him and asked him when he was coming. He said, "I'm not. My roommate is…"
13 hours ago
Nancy commented on Jon-Paul Ackerman's group Lost My Spouse...
"Exactly bluebird."
14 hours ago
bluebird commented on Jon-Paul Ackerman's group Lost My Spouse...
"I have to say, Nancy, I envy you the 43 years. My husband and I were together for nearly 13 years, but married for only one week when he died (massive, unexpected heart attack).  But no matter how long a couple is together, when they are truly…"
15 hours ago
Nancy commented on Jon-Paul Ackerman's group Lost My Spouse...
"I'm exactly where you are bluebird. Only it's only been 4 months. We were married 43 years. Got married young. I know no other life."
15 hours ago
bluebird commented on Mike H.'s blog post Repost: Is It Wrong to Grieve?
"No, of course it is not wrong to grieve.  My husband died 5 years ago today, and I will never stop grieving.  The course of grief and the response(s) to it are different for each person, and no one should ever tell another that…"
15 hours ago
bluebird commented on Beckie Preston's blog post Lost
"Do you have family and/or friends you can turn to for help?  Do you intend to continue with your pregnancy, and, if so, do you plan to keep and raise the baby? I think the emotional support of loved ones would be very helpful to you right now,…"
15 hours ago
bluebird replied to Gabby Freeland's discussion I gave up before everyone else did
"I don't think you should feel bad.  When someone is ill for a long time, it's natural to start grieving quite a long time before that person actually dies.  Besides, you felt that way in part because you didn't want your mum…"
15 hours ago
bluebird commented on Jon-Paul Ackerman's group Lost My Spouse...
"Today marks exactly five years since my husband died.  I still wish I had died when he did. For me, it's not the nights that are the worst part, it's the mornings.  Of course I do miss him at night -- I miss cuddling with him, I…"
15 hours ago
Crystal K commented on Karen's group I miss my Mom!
"Had better days than today.  My sister decides to move to my mom's native home for six months with her kids to renovate the house and in my head I'm yelling at her 'what's the use now. she's dead.'  My mom…"
17 hours ago
Patty replied to Karen's discussion STUPID things people say... " Vent Here " in the group Missing my Son or Daughter
"Wow, that is one of the stupidest things I have ever heard.    "
yesterday
Patty commented on Karen's group Missing my Son or Daughter
"I just passed 7 years.  Everything Karen said below is ditto for me :'("
yesterday
Karen commented on Karen's group Missing my Son or Daughter
"Sadly I seldom come to this page... I am so sorry about that ---  -I just hit a wall at some point where I realized I had nothing helpful to share & did not want to add to anyones pain.  -Brad's 10 year anniversary is drawing…"
yesterday
Karen replied to Karen's discussion STUPID things people say... " Vent Here " in the group Missing my Son or Daughter
"All these years later ... And when I do leave my house (as I have become so recluse) ---- I still hear insensitive comments just last week - I was told that not only was this gods plan I agreed to it before I was ever born.   ---- Where do…"
yesterday
Karen is now friends with Judith Borenin and Rita Estes
yesterday
John T. commented on Jon-Paul Ackerman's group Lost My Spouse...
"It's amazing the power of food shared together has.  I have broken down in the grocery store many times, almost every time I went during the first year.  Some things I can't go near and others give me great comfort.  I…"
yesterday

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