How do people find something positive every day after the loss of their spouse?

I just learned about this on-line support group and decided to join.  I am just trying to find some good things in this new world without the love of my life.  We were together for over 33 years and the sadness and grief is overpowering.  I want and need to help my 21 year old daughter too, but man it is hard.  I feel like I went from a perfect life to a life that will always suck...

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    Jarrod Roettger

    I lost my wife yesterday, the only reason I'm still here is i promised my kids they wouldn't lose both of us the same day.
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      Erin

      Hi Jarrod,

      First of all, I am very sorry for the loss of your wife. Ironically I lost my only brother, my only sibling, the same day you lost your wife, 4/14/23. I am the sole survivor of my family of origin. Our father passed away in 2010 and our mother passed away in 2020 (non-covid related), I am grateful that my brother was able to help me grieve those losses, I am really struggling as to how I grieve his loss without him. I am “only” 52 and to think of the rest of my life without anyone left who remembers me as a baby, or the stories we shared with and without our parents, to not have one of the 3 left if I need to talk, need help, or guidance or just to share joy with anymore. Not many people truly understand where I am coming from, because most people my age still may have both parents, or 1 parent, all of their siblings or some of their siblings. There’s just some solace even as a 52 year old woman to know there was one person on the planet that knew my back-story and would always have my back no matter what, in a way only a parent or sibling can. Sometimes when I think about the gravity of this loss, the pain and loneliness take my breath away. Most of the information I can find on-line is geared to elderly people who have lost their last sibling. I haven’t been able to find much coping info on mid-lifers or younger who find themselves as the “last ‘man’ standing” of their family of origin, so to speak. I know we have different circumstances that brought us here to this group. I just wanted to reach out and say hello, since I am not finding a lot of recent posts on here in some of the groups I have looked at. Take care. Erin
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        I lost my soulmate of 20 years 4/19 of this year. I just keep thinking of everything and him over these years.