When will the ache subside?

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When will the ache subside?

A group for people who have lost loved ones with prolonged suffering. For those of us who have seen that the end is coming, and had to watch the ones we love creep toward it.

Members: 79
Latest Activity: Mar 24, 2022

Discussion Forum

Tried avoiding grief initially...paying for it 30 years later

Not sure where exactly to put this…it ticks so many boxes, disenfranchised, too young, prolonged grief, does it ever get better, sudden/traumatic loss… Condensed version…Jennifer was killed in a…Continue

Started by Speed Weasel Mar 24, 2022.

It still aches, but I am able to cope with it better. 5 Replies

I have cried my eyes out for a year and a few months since my adorable husband passed away.  We were married 44 years, and it was our second marraige and we were as close as any two could possibly…Continue

Started by Georgia Garrison. Last reply by kathleen akin Aug 19, 2016.

Intros... 14 Replies

Who are you? Why are you here? Tell me about yourself.

Started by Desiree. Last reply by Tracey Bottoms Jan 29, 2012.

Intro 3 Replies

My name is Julie, I lost my sweet dad to Colon cancer feb 2005 and my dearest mom in august 2009 one day shy of her 68th bday.  I have no family to speak of, I have half siblings but we only know…Continue

Started by Julie Dolsey-Weiss. Last reply by Sue Waxman Jul 24, 2011.

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Comment by charlene aragon on June 12, 2011 at 11:56pm
OK..... It's been 5 months now since I took my "BOO" off life support..  Easier? No way, The ache? Just as bad... UGH!!!!  I miss him so much,  If only heaven had a phone so i could hear his voice again... All I hear is time heals, WHATEVER!!!! I'm sure it does but in this case I don't know... How do u live a happy life without the love of your life??   Everyday I wonder, did I take him off life support too early?  A 32 yr old man that was everything to me died in my arms, how do recover from that?... this ache will never go away, nothing seems to help......
Comment by Rachel Lynn Schuler on June 5, 2011 at 5:56am
thanks for your encouraging woords Resee...I love your name by the way....yes we are a support for each other....this site helps me a great deal, and the different topics too....
Comment by Rachel Lynn Schuler on June 4, 2011 at 5:00pm
thats a good question Grace....I'm not sure what the answer is....I think for all of us the ache will always be there....I know mine will be....if she wasnt such a special person, maybe it wouldnt be so darn hard?  I am speaking of my mother....if I think too long about it I get too upset still....so hard, so hard
Comment by michael sandoval on April 7, 2011 at 6:09pm
The ache does not subside. We just learn to deal and live with it
Comment by Kathy Perry on March 25, 2011 at 12:16pm

I am new to this site and this group. My grandma died a month ago this past Tuesday. I have been doing fairly well going through the grief even Tuesday that marked a month. Today I am at the lowest I have been since the day she died and even that day I was sad but peaceful and accepting of it. Today I am far from peaceful and just want to curl up and sleep the day away. I received my copy of her Last Will and Testament yesterday in the mail and it broke me up so much that I had to leave work today after only an hour of being there. It was like it was just happening again. I have a closer relationship to God now but today that is not helping my pain and hurt. I fear taking a nap today due to my history of major depression which started 11yrs ago when my grandpa died. I came out of it but I am fearful of going back to that place again. Peace and blessings to all today.

 

Comment by Debbie Powell on March 12, 2011 at 5:46pm
Guys, thanks so much for the thoughts.  I have said to so many people that my brain has a logical side and emotional side.  My logical side tells me what is right etc but sometimes that emotional side just takes over.  I am trying so hard to get by day to day and today I just fell.  thanks so much.... I have wonderful friends but I find until you are in this situation you really don't understand what the feelings are.  the heavy chest even....
Comment by Cynthia Horacek on March 12, 2011 at 4:55pm

Debbie -

I am so sorry about the loss of your beloved pet at this time especially.  Any type of loss will usually trigger the original loss.  We got our little dog, Calvin, one month before my husband died - we didn't know he wasn't going to be here with us - and everyone who knows me  tells me that this dog was sent to me at this particular time for a particular reason.  He is just so attached to me and my little shadow. He comforts me a lot, and I cannot imagine how I would cope with losing him.  My heart goes out to you.

Cynthia

Comment by roxydee on March 12, 2011 at 4:11pm
Big hugs dear heart. I am so sorry about Belle's health. I know personally how rich the relationship between an animal and her owner can be. When Jason passed away i had this strong desire to get a dog. I went and rescued a lhasa apso mix named Bubbles. Possibly not the best time for a new dog owner to get involved with a pet, but she and I made a truce and everyday she means more and more to me. I pray that Belle is not in pain and i give you a huge hug from afar for your pre grieving .  Jason passed away in Jan 2009 and I'm still super vigilant about the whereabouts of each and every loved one, watching their breath if i could to reassure myself they are still breathing and will still be here with me. Its hard to lose anyone now in my life, so my sympathy goes to you about Belle.  huggles
Comment by Debbie Powell on March 12, 2011 at 4:02pm
I'm having a bad day.  Right after my husband died our 13 year old  basset, Belle, was diagnosed with cancer.  I had the tumor removed but opted out of radiation.  About a week ago she declined and today I had to go to the vet because she didn't eat yesterday etc.  I now know it's a matter of days and I thought I was prepared, I am having a really hard time today.  I know she will go directly to her dad and earlier this week I was ok.  Today I cannot stop crying.  No one needs to answer, I just had to let this out.
Comment by Susan F. on March 10, 2011 at 10:44pm

Cynthia,

You're right on the mark and that's what I've basically done.  I don't take calls from her and I stopped reading her email a few days ago.  And, yes, I do have a caretaker that was with my mom, and now my dad, during the day while I'm at work.  She is wonderful and has become a member of our family.  Mom slept most of the time the last several months, so they became great friends, and now she is also his companion.  I don't know what I'd do without her.  She also makes me eat!!!  Oh, and Cynthia - I'm always open for advice.

 

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