Lost My Spouse...

Members: 371
Latest Activity: May 20

Discussion Forum

Today is the anniversary of my wedding day 2 Replies

I got married on May 1, 1992 and lost my husband on June 30, 2017. My wedding day was the happiest day of my life and if I had one wish, it would be to go back and live that day over. It has been…Continue

Started by Carol Klotz. Last reply by Carol Klotz May 3.

Lost my light in the darkness 2 Replies

I lost my wife on the 25 of March after returning from my Dads funeral. She is everything to me. No matter how bad it got, no matter how much my PTSD drug me down, She has been my light in the…Continue

Started by Shane Hughes. Last reply by Shane Hughes Apr 16.

Lost my husband the father of my kids and bestfriend . 5 Replies

  I lost my husband we were high school sweethearts we had plans and it was not suppose to be this way we had two kids together and I feel so lost and the pain i feel becuase of how much I miss him…Continue

Started by Nicole. Last reply by Wendy Apr 7.

My Love 1 Reply

On November 6 of this year, I lost my husband in a tragic automobile accident. We live in Georgia and the accident was in Montana making it more difficult. I am completely lost as we were best…Continue

Started by Kathy West. Last reply by Anna Chris Apr 7.

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Comment by Beth Swansboro on April 12, 2018 at 10:35am

Been really down past few days. Lost my husband Niv.2015. Realized not getting better. Oh i put on a brave front to outside that i am moving on. No! Stay in alot, cry realize life really stopped day i told the love of my life goodbye. Just am an empty shell. I try when my son visits to be ok. He has had a hard time losing his dad. He is the only one. No groups around to join here. So guess maybe each day i will somday start to go ahead with life. Right now really don't see it or feel it. Just lonley and getting more so i think. When will it get bettet? Maybe never for me.

Comment by Linda Engberg on April 11, 2018 at 6:52am

Hello Wolfman

Welcome back, it really takes a very long time to connect iwth this so called world again.

Comment by W0lfman on April 10, 2018 at 10:37pm

Hello all its been a while since i have been here kinda got lost in the darkness of my grief its been 4 months now since i lost her  and im finally able to pick myself up and at least get back to work keeping busy seems to help a bit but still find myself drifting to my wife.  The lonesomeness of it all is still overwhelming.  Well just stopped in to say hello and i wish everyone the best this is one hard struggle it almost beat me but still taking on day at a time peace to all


Comment by bluebird on April 10, 2018 at 9:11pm

Thank you, Alice.

While no one else's experience can prove to me that there is an afterlife, I still do appreciate you sharing that you had a sign that you believe to be proof of an afterlife -- it's not proof to me, but it's still something, especially since you are not in any way being pushy about it or trying to convince others. I'm not phrasing this very well, but I hope you know what I mean. :)

Comment by Linda Engberg on April 10, 2018 at 4:00pm

Comment by Linda Engberg on April 10, 2018 at 3:57pm


I sure hope there is a Heaven as I was taught throughout my life, all our suffering will finally end. 

Comment by bluebird on April 9, 2018 at 6:02pm

Same here, joe. I have had some possible signs, but I can never be sure. I fucking hate having to stay alive, with nothing to anchor me or offer anything to me other than the HOPE that I will receive signs, which may or may not be from my husband. 

If there is a god and an afterlife, then if I were god (not that I want to be, at all), I would arrange it so that there was NO doubt about the existence of an afterlife. We would know that our loved ones continue to exist, as themselves, happy, and that we will be with them again soon. 

Comment by Linda Engberg on April 9, 2018 at 2:43pm

Morgan & Alice,

Since my Husband died 5 years ago, I fear nothing, I don't have anything to fear as I no longer have my Husband, I am the walking dead.

Comment by morgan on April 9, 2018 at 3:28am

Wow, Alice. That was a pretty profound post.  I think I get it.  If I am relating to what you said at all I think I find myself in the same place ......alot.  Fear of overcoming some new challenge....(it used to be an adventure..) its torture.  Yes, I fear having to confront or engage in anything that seems an unknown and unfortunately now everything seem to be an unknown (even if I do really know it).  

Example:  I have made several trips in the last six months........flying.  How many times have I flown?  Enough not to be scared or fearful.  And yet three weeks ago I ended up in tears quietly sobbing in my aisle seat.  Another example: My car is broken and I have someone who is helping me buy another one but the whole affair is just one more unknown that sends my fear of not feeling capable, or knowing what next or will my finances hold out or all the other scary things that might happen to me and so I retreat to my hole and ask for the torture to stop. And then when i decide I should just woman-up and get my act together like I would have in the past and did many many times I too end up like I did on the plane.  Expecting myself to face the world bravely and find myself needing assistance while ending up in a puddle of tears.   

Its a brutal way to live.  I met the world square-on before my husbands death.  We met it together.  When one was scared the other picked up the torch.  I did this for 35 years, 24/7.  I knew this man for 55 years.  i knew what to expect, how he would react and how we would do it together.  Now I am alone, old and yes, scared , but not of death.  Thats the only thing that I long for.  I want an out to this complex relationship I have with this thing called life.  Its outpacing my strength, my wisdom, my resilience.  I don't need more of it.  I am tired and I think as your epiphany shines more light on our situation I think we have alot of this  figured out.  Its grief the likes of which we never anticipated we would have to endure when left behind without the person who was the better half of ourselves.  At least thats my take on it and I really have to thank you for your reasoned and introspective post.  I gravitate to ones that are trying to solve the existential crisis that seem to appear for me on a daily basis.  Wisdom like yours is what makes me understand that what is happening to me is not some psychological mumbo jumbo solved by some pedantic prescription .........I need to know I am not crazy........

Comment by Marjorie Willcox on April 8, 2018 at 12:58pm

Dear Beth, if you google Denise Dielwart programme all the info. will come up.

Best Wishes 



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marie commented on Diana, Certified Grief Counselor's group I love my Dad.
"I am so sorry Mary Kay. Our hearts were broken when we lost our dad. My sister-in-law had told us to prepare that tears and grief would come in waves...out of nowhere. One of my cousins had lost her dad before us and she spoke some wise words to us:…"
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