Lost My Spouse...

Members: 371
Latest Activity: May 20

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Today is the anniversary of my wedding day 2 Replies

I got married on May 1, 1992 and lost my husband on June 30, 2017. My wedding day was the happiest day of my life and if I had one wish, it would be to go back and live that day over. It has been…Continue

Started by Carol Klotz. Last reply by Carol Klotz May 3.

Lost my light in the darkness 2 Replies

I lost my wife on the 25 of March after returning from my Dads funeral. She is everything to me. No matter how bad it got, no matter how much my PTSD drug me down, She has been my light in the…Continue

Started by Shane Hughes. Last reply by Shane Hughes Apr 16.

Lost my husband the father of my kids and bestfriend . 5 Replies

  I lost my husband we were high school sweethearts we had plans and it was not suppose to be this way we had two kids together and I feel so lost and the pain i feel becuase of how much I miss him…Continue

Started by Nicole. Last reply by Wendy Apr 7.

My Love 1 Reply

On November 6 of this year, I lost my husband in a tragic automobile accident. We live in Georgia and the accident was in Montana making it more difficult. I am completely lost as we were best…Continue

Started by Kathy West. Last reply by Anna Chris Apr 7.

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Comment by Karen T. on February 21, 2015 at 4:16pm

I wish I could feel my passed husband as you described being able to feel your wife. I just fell like when I want to sry ( which is a lot of course) I don't have my safe place anymore....I always rom day 1 told him that my favorite and most safe feeling place in the world was his arms. No matter where we were, his arms always made eveything wrong go away and it's like time just stood still and I was in that place and moment forever. Now my safe place is gone and I am lost. I admit I do look at other men, hoping or other possibilities for the future but honestly I don't even know what I would do if I did find someone. So easy to look from a distance but to start things up that's completely differet (expecially when you are  not use to dating/goingout in the first place. My husband was the second man I ever dated- the first lasted just under 2 months and this was in college so I was almost 18years old when I went on my first date. I know I haven't had a "normal" relationship life so any advice on expectations would be greatly appreciated. :)

Comment by Jon-Paul Ackerman on February 21, 2015 at 3:08pm

I miss more than anything putting my nose beneath hers and breathing in her breath as she exhales... and her laugh... my good GOD, how I miss her laugh...

Comment by Karen T. on February 21, 2015 at 2:02pm

I justish had him to hold me. That's what I want almost more than anything, to be held.

Comment by Jon-Paul Ackerman on February 21, 2015 at 11:44am

The pain is consuming. It's overwhelming. My kids aren't enough for me to want to remain. I want to be where she is. Then it hit me, actually the night before last, that I am where she is. I feel her, I hear her, I know she's within me just as much now as when she was in the flesh. The grief, the pain, the withdraws are due to the absence of her perfectly beautiful body; her perfect face, her radiant eyes and smile, her soothing voice... But I'll be home soon with her and our Father... it may be a week, it may be a decade, but it'll come soon. Hopefully sooner than later. But we have to make them proud. Stay strong Marijka, Ashley, Karen, and Leesa....

Comment by Marijka on February 21, 2015 at 4:25am
My babe, my fiancé, my partner, my soulmate, my best friend, my everything died suddenly 5 months ago...yet it only feels like yesterday. My heart and soul are broken. He was only 42 and even though he was 10 years older than me, we had the best relationship. We had known each other for 15 years and had been together 11 years and life was life is a struggle, I don't want to live it without him, I jus want him back. We were meant to get married this year and have more babies. The only reason I haven't joined him is our beautiful 9year old daughter, who has been an amazing strength for me...but I feel so much pain for her, I lost my soul mate but she lost her dad, who she had the most beautiful, wonderful relationship with, he was the best dad and just worshiped the ground she walked on.
I have no one that understands what I'm going through, I feel like I'm expected to get on with things, just move on...but how am I suppose to do that, all my future plans were with him...everything. Even though I have people around me, I feel so alone and lonely, I miss him so much.
Comment by Ashlee on February 20, 2015 at 12:09pm

My beautiful husband of almost 11 years passed away suddenly 4 weeks ago.  He was only 35.  Through all of the sadness and heartbreak, the hardest part for me so far besides losing my best friend, and soul mate, is knowing that my kids are feeling so much pain.

Comment by Karen T. on February 5, 2015 at 5:15pm

Hi Leesa,

I understand how you feel. My husband died in the bed and I couldn't sleep in there forever, but it did help my transition to wrap up in his favorite blanket for comfort. But it still is my first response when something happens in my life- my first thought is I can;t wait to tell me husband or he is not going to believe this when I tell him when I get home and then I have to stop myself and realize that's not going to happen and he won't be there to tell. I do still walk through the apartment and talk about it like he is there listening and it does seem to help, giving that feeling that I have told him and he does know. I hope this helps, but it just feels like a lot of rambling. I am sorry for your loss and hope you can find at least a moment of comfort. You have definately found the right website for that.

Comment by Leesa Lynch on February 5, 2015 at 11:10am

well I have paid off the house no enjoyment there bc I used the life insurence to paid it off I aslo have been busy painting trying my best to change the way the inside looks it hard my soul mate passed away in the living room if  I dont have company I cant stay in the living room yet boy I miss him I find myself picking up the phone to call him yet I know he wont pick up 

Comment by Karen T. on February 4, 2015 at 9:50am

Yeah, I am totally having one of those days. I can manage to write/type a few words for worl and then I have to pause to hold my head. I just don't know what to do. I hate being alone in this world (son not included- speaking about having a partner). I just can't focus and as selfish as it sounds (because he did have some medical problems which he soesn't suffer anymore in Heaven) I just want my husband badk I want to get wrapped up in his arems and know that no matter what is going on, everything is going to be fine because we have each other. Now I am just lost. All I can do today i put my head in my hands and think about him and how much I miss him and how much better this world would be if we were back together again.

Comment by Karen T. on February 4, 2015 at 8:36am

I just don't know how to go on. I fake it for the sake of my son and those around me but in the end I feel like everytime I put on make up I am putting on a mask. I just feel like I'm either dead or dying inside. I haven' even been able to go to church because it's a rather small church so everyone knows us and I just can't stand being among all those people who know what happened and just look at me with sympathy for the 32 year old widow and her son. Being among a crowd of strangers (such as shopping) is easier to deal with. Then there is the importance of comforting my son and helping him through it so by the end if the day I am just so exhausted I'm ready for bed by like 6. Everything is just so hard- I just don't know how I'm going to keep going to come out the other side- I just move one day (sometimes 1 second or 1 minute) at a time and just pray I'll get through soon. Sometimes I feel like I'm even ready for some personal human interaction but then quickly snap back to readlity that I am to much of a mess on the inside to put another person through that. I do thank everyone on here for allowing me an outlet to speak my mind and feelings without repercussions or judgements- it truly does help. Thank you all.


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When I was twelve my mother was murdered then my beloved sweet grandmother died when I was 18. My maternal grandfather died when I was 22. My maternal grandmother died when I was 33 and my final living parent/grandparent died when I was 35.  I lived with a lot of loss most of it came at a sudden clip.  I'm left with incredible feeling of loneliness even though I've been married for 20+ years and have two wonderful children.  It's tough to share my true feelings with my wife because it's so hard…See More
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When I was twelve years old, my mother was brutally murdered during a robbery of our home.  I came within minutes of finding her body but by sheer chance I didn't.  It has been over 35 years since that day but it still effects my life today.  As a child, I went through the trial of the man convicted of killing my beautiful mother then as a man I went through his parole process finally his death from illness in prison. See More
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