Lost My Spouse...

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The Holiday Season and my loss 1 Reply

This Christmas Season this year is very hard.Family gatherings are wonderful but l feel my husband not being so much more.Seeing everyone makes it more real that Ron is not here.The tears are in my…Continue

Started by Denise Lavoie. Last reply by Linda Engberg Dec 24, 2018.

Lost my wife 14 Replies

It's been almost a week since i lost my wife to lung disease. She's in my mind 24/7. I don't have anybody else to talk too. I was carred by emotional and physical abuse mostly in my childhood in…Continue

Started by Kyle McKay. Last reply by Corinne C. Rico Nov 12, 2018.

Lost my husband the father of my kids and bestfriend . 3 Replies

  I lost my husband we were high school sweethearts we had plans and it was not suppose to be this way we had two kids together and I feel so lost and the pain i feel becuase of how much I miss him…Continue

Started by Nicole. Last reply by Fran Oct 19, 2018.

FAILING 9 Replies

next month will be three years since I lost my husband and I'm failing miserably I am in serious debt I cant fix, I stay home because I have extreme difficulty leaving my house I don't know how to…Continue

Started by Pamela philipp. Last reply by Corinne C. Rico Oct 4, 2018.

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Comment by Jon-Paul Ackerman on January 29, 2015 at 1:09pm

It does not get easier, it gets harder and harder. When you notice things that they did that nobody else does, when you eat food they used to like, when your children make faces like them... It's torture. I desperately try to hold on to everything that reminds me of her. The only hope and strength we can have is knowing that this won't last forever. We will be reunited one day very soon...I'm sorry for all the pain you all have to endure... especially the women who've lost their husband. 

Comment by Karen T. on January 29, 2015 at 12:12pm



Thank you for sharing. It was exactly the same with me. I came home from work to find him in bed, ice cold, extremeties black and blue and a foam coming out of his mouth. God knows I wish I could get that picture out of my head but I'm afraid it is engrained there forever (I am however glad that is was me and not my 8 year oold that went in the bedroom first so I was able to shield him from seeing daddy at all like that). We had been married for almost 12 years and together for almost 14. Before him I thought that I would never find anyone to love me and vice versa, then he came into my life. I finally felt complete and happy. I knew that God had sent him specifically for me. We've been through so much together (ups and downs) and that only brought us closer. He has been with me my entire adult life until now (met him when I was 18 and he just passed in October). I really feel like a zombie just going through the motions of day to day living and putting a mask on of strength and comfort for our son but my comfort is no longer here. As I have said, my son is the only thing getting me through this life- if not for him I probably would never get out of bed and just be consumed with grief. I am sorry that you had your love taken so soon in your relationship that you don't have as many good memories to grab and hold onto for dear life- that kind of helps me a little. Thank you for your kind words and I hope you can find comfort and solice in your loss as well. We are all here for each other.

Comment by Karen T. on January 29, 2015 at 8:24am

Please someone tell me that eventually it  does get easier. I know it will always be with me, especially being the one who found the body, but I just feel like the emotion of happiness has been ripped from me and I am now just existing as I move through this world without my husband.

Comment by Leesa Lynch on January 29, 2015 at 3:54am
Dec 6 2014 God took my soul mate on Dec 27th we would have , celebrated our 28th anniversary instead I spent it alone crying and wondering why God took him from me we met when we were 12 and 13 we spent our youth together and we were suppose grow old together it was six weeks after we first went to the doctor bc he was not feeling good that he was gone and I was alone sad upset depressed I don't sleep well any more or why else would I be up this hour of the night I miss him so much
Comment by Lost & Alone on January 24, 2015 at 2:34am

I have lost my soul mate of 28 years, we are all lost with out the other half of my being... I wish you the best, and I hope that all of you find some type of peace....

May God Bless You

Comment by Karen T. on January 13, 2015 at 12:19pm

Thank you for your support. Yes it is really hard when my personal safe space (everyone has their space where they feel absolutley comfortable and nothing can touch them) was my husband's arms. I hope everyone here can find their own new safe space as I have to. Prayers for everyone.

Comment by Roger on January 12, 2015 at 10:28pm

Hi Jon-Paul,

I also lost my perfect wife In February of 2013. One thing that I loved so much about her was the way she loved me. That made loving her the so very easy. She was always doing something for me. Thinking of me in some way. Leaving me little notes. That would say" I love you more today". Getting me treats at the store, like peanuts, gatorade and pretzels. That she knew I loved. She was smart and a helpmate, friend and lover.  Now I and just devastated, heart broken and lonely with out her. Hang in there. I know it hard.         

Comment by Jon-Paul Ackerman on January 12, 2015 at 10:47am

Thank you for sharing Karen. I'm so sorry for your loss. I'm dead inside without my wife who also passed three months ago. I can't imagine how hurt she'd be if it was I who passed and her left to deal with the grief. 

Comment by Karen T. on January 12, 2015 at 10:25am

Losing a spouse is so difficult. Especially the longer that you were with them and the stronger of a connection your had with them. My husband and I were together for 13.5 years, married for 11.5 years. He was not only my husband he was truly my best friend. It has now been 3 months since I found him passed ( a memory I wish I could just wipe from my brain) and whenever things happen my first reaction is still "oh wait until I tell my husband, he is not going to believe this" (or some form of that) and then it hits, I don't have him to tell things to anymore. I am so lost and only at 32 years old I feel like I am just floating aimlesssly through this world- the only thing keeping me going is I have a 9 year old to raise and take care of- of course it has become exponentially dificult with the loss of my husband- but I am trying day by day and right now that is all I can do. Thank you all for your thoughts and prayers- I am very glad that I found this sight where I can open up about how I feel to those who truly do understand. Thank you.


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Billy Jo Colt commented on Kelli Auerbach's blog post New York Times essay I wrote about orphanhood
"Thank you Kelly for a genuine and bright yet deep insight into how berievement has affected you. Children are resourcefull and it isn't till in later life that the death of a loved one creates a new reality. I've written a song about the…"
Kelli Auerbach posted a blog post

New York Times essay I wrote about orphanhood

Hi everyone, I am new to the group, but not to loss. Thanks for adding me.I wanted to share an essay I wrote, "Welcome to the Freak Show: Becoming an Orphan in My 20s", that is in the New York Times today. Even though all of our experiences with grief are unique, I hope it resonates in some way.Best, KelliSee More
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morgan commented on Jon-Paul Ackerman's group Lost My Spouse...
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Linda Engberg commented on Jon-Paul Ackerman's group Lost My Spouse...
"Nobody really understands except for the members on this website. It was a life saver for me. Thanks to all of you who share your posts and the support we give each other."
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"Morgan, yes.  Linda, yes.  Marita, yes.  Bulebird, Yes.  I'm becoming paralyzed to the point of petrification.  NOTHING MATTERS except what we all know what it is.  We can't go back and we can't accept…"
bluebird commented on Jon-Paul Ackerman's group Lost My Spouse...
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Marita commented on Jon-Paul Ackerman's group Lost My Spouse...
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Linda Engberg commented on Jon-Paul Ackerman's group Lost My Spouse...
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Brett Bowman commented on Karen's group I miss my Mom!
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M Adams commented on Karen's group I miss my Mom!
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