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Lost My Spouse...

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Lost my wife 15 Replies

It's been almost a week since i lost my wife to lung disease. She's in my mind 24/7. I don't have anybody else to talk too. I was carred by emotional and physical abuse mostly in my childhood in…Continue

Started by Kyle McKay. Last reply by Monty Nov 6.

The Holiday Season and my loss 1 Reply

This Christmas Season this year is very hard.Family gatherings are wonderful but l feel my husband not being so much more.Seeing everyone makes it more real that Ron is not here.The tears are in my…Continue

Started by Denise Lavoie. Last reply by Linda Engberg Dec 24, 2018.

Lost my husband the father of my kids and bestfriend . 3 Replies

  I lost my husband we were high school sweethearts we had plans and it was not suppose to be this way we had two kids together and I feel so lost and the pain i feel becuase of how much I miss him…Continue

Started by Nicole. Last reply by Fran Oct 19, 2018.

FAILING 9 Replies

next month will be three years since I lost my husband and I'm failing miserably I am in serious debt I cant fix, I stay home because I have extreme difficulty leaving my house I don't know how to…Continue

Started by Pamela philipp. Last reply by Corinne C. Rico Oct 4, 2018.

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Comment by Sandy Elaine Norris on March 30, 2015 at 3:11pm

I wish that I could stand in for all of y'all so that none of you would have to hurt like this. I don't know anyone on here but I wish that I could bear your pain. I'm so sorry for the loss you have all experienced.

Comment by Sandy Elaine Norris on March 30, 2015 at 3:04pm

I completely agree with y'all. People keep telling that I need to move on with my life. Mark has only been gone 11 weeks. I don't feel like I have a life to move on to. I understand that some people think that they are helping but the endless platitudes are getting on my last nerve. Everything is not going to be okay.

Comment by Tildyc on March 30, 2015 at 2:12pm
I hear you George. People act differently around me anymore. I used to be outgoing and have fun and have friends. Now I feel like when I walk in a room, everybody takes a mental step back. Everyone is very kind but also I feel like they are waiting for me to "snap out of it" and go back to being who I was. And the fact of the matter is – I am forever changed. And I will never ever be that person I was before. And it really is messed up that- I will never be that well adjusted, normal me I was- when Mark was still alive. There is just no possible way. And I can't do anything about that.

I think eventually folks will finally just give up on it. I hope.
Comment by George H on March 30, 2015 at 2:12pm
I can agree with you john I'm having quite a bit of problem with the anger myself it really gets hard to contain sometimes like you I'm trying not to offend anyone but I don't have that much of a support system anyway I'm basically alone I can't seem to figure out how to cope with this I think I'm doing okay then I get mail from Mary but then again this whole house is Mary they say day today and I start to wonder about that too I don't feel it's getting any easier it just seems to be getting darker and darker I just don't know what to think of that
Comment by Tildyc on March 30, 2015 at 1:51pm
Hi Sandy – I'm sorry that your loss has brought you to this point but – For what it's worth, on here you'll see you're not the only person going through this hell. I still am very much alone but – sometimes this site helps distract me from my pain for a short amount of time and provides a place for me to vent where other people will understand how I am feeling.
Comment by George H on March 30, 2015 at 1:43pm
Tildyc I feel the same way I can hardly do anything I get tired of people saying you have to snap out of it I just want to yell come and live in my world for a while
Comment by Tildyc on March 30, 2015 at 1:36pm
John T- How horribly insensitive of your family and how unbelievable it must've been for you when you realized they were trying to "set you up?!" Of course – they are only trying to help but, it just solidifies my belief that we are no longer part of that world. The normal healthy happy people world. And from where I'm at right now, I personally can't imagine myself ever fully functioning in that world again. Outside of work – I stay in seclusion and avoid people as much as possible. The thought of being with anybody else is so foreign and so unfathomable to me- I'm unable to form even a thought about something like that. I just can't.
Comment by Sandy Elaine Norris on March 30, 2015 at 9:12am

I'm new on here. My wonderful husband of 13 years passed away on Janurary 8, 2015. I don't know if there are words that express how I feel. Lost, scared, lonely, angry! Those really don't do this pain justice. He had been sick for a long time but that doesn't make this any easier. I'm glad that he is no longer suffering but I miss him so much. Ours was a very special kind of love. We knew the moment that we met that we were ment to be together.

Comment by George H on March 29, 2015 at 11:32pm
M Morgan I can totally understand how you feel my wife passed February 24th I had no friends outside the house cuz I was her caregiver 24 7 there's not a day that goes by when I wonder how long before it's my turn like you I don't think it would be by my own hand but I don't think that it would matter how quick it comes the loneliness an and emptiness is getting really hard to handle
Comment by morgan on March 29, 2015 at 11:13pm

I will never be with anyone else and I am doing what I can to diminish my health.  Two years, two months later and my breakdowns are coming back in spades.  They had receded to only one a day but now just about anything will trigger them.   I am looking at what it is going to take to get up every day and live my life without the one person who made it worth living.  I knew it before but now after distracting myself with work I realize the shock was what kept me from seeing what I face.  The crying is more than despair now.  It is a volatile response to my life.  Before it was more focused as a response to his death.  Now it's like the big guns have come out.

I have not wanted to be here on earth since the day my husband died but now I am more determined than ever to grieve so hard that physically I die of my broken heart.  I won't do it by my own hand in a harmful way ( i don't think) but I am going to do everything possible to hasten the inevitable.  If todays breakdowns are an example of how grief is taking its toll my physical self is bound to follow.  

As I said to the policeman who came to check on me in the store parking lot where I was crying so hard they had to help me out to my car and then must have called the police: I said"No one understands the utter loneliness of what death delivers",  particularly when you had a very deep passionate relationship.  Some people recover but there are those of us who will never see any happiness ever again. They were worried I might not be able to drive or I was going to harm myself.  I almost had to laugh since they have no idea how often I go through this.  They see it once and think I am about to go over the edge.  If they only knew…….. 

 

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Linda Engberg commented on Jon-Paul Ackerman's group Lost My Spouse...
"Wendy, So sorry for your loss. Yes I know how you feel and it is a horrible thing to go through. Everyone in this forum care for one other and it is a place to go to share your most inner thoughts. God Bless You and Your Family"
20 hours ago
Wendy commented on Susie H's group surviving family members' murders
"My heart goes out to you as I recently experienced the loss of my husband who was murdered. We had been together 31 years, married 27. I remember as if it was yesterday, the phone call, the driving frantically to reach the crime scene, waiting for…"
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Wendy commented on Jon-Paul Ackerman's group Lost My Spouse...
"This is the first year in 31 years that my husband will not be here. I've not put up a tree or participated in any holiday celebrations. Instead, my Son, unpacked our tree and decorations we had collected thru the years and while visiting his…"
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Multiple Losses Group

I am creating this site for the many of us who have suffered several losses. I lost my mom, dad, grandma(2nd mom), grandpa, my beloved dog and divorce.Many of us have lost more than one person or event.Come share!See More
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Multiple Losses Group

I am creating this site for the many of us who have suffered several losses. I lost my mom, dad, grandma(2nd mom), grandpa, my beloved dog and divorce.Many of us have lost more than one person or event.Come share!See More
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Marie Eaddy is now a member of Online Grief Support - A Social Community
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morgan left a comment for Mannion13
"Mannion, I dont always have a moment to write to those who post a death that has affected the very fiber of their being and mainly I do it with those who have lost their spouse since that is the death that has affected me the most.  But your…"
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morgan left a comment for Lani M.
"Lani, You have hit the nail we all wanted to miss.  Nothing can hurt this bad.  Nothing.  I could never have imagined I would be as devastated, and for as long, as I have been.  I have yet to be able to reconcile the anguish.…"
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Joe Kelly left a comment for Lani M.
"Lani, I wish I could give some comforting advice, but I know it's going to be hard.  I lost my wife Jan. 21, 2018 to cancer. Join the "Lost My Spouse" group and read through some of the posts there.  We share our feelings of…"
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"How do I handle the holidays alone for the first time in 45 years?"
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Teresa D. commented on Kar's group Missing my Son or Daughter
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Joe Kelly commented on Jon-Paul Ackerman's group Lost My Spouse...
"Today is the 2nd for me.  Last year I stayed home alone because my Love was always so involved with it every year at my daughters house.  Two years ago, we spent it alone together in the hospital.  Again, Catch 22 because whether…"
Nov 28

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