Lost My Spouse...

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The Holiday Season and my loss 1 Reply

This Christmas Season this year is very hard.Family gatherings are wonderful but l feel my husband not being so much more.Seeing everyone makes it more real that Ron is not here.The tears are in my…Continue

Started by Denise Lavoie. Last reply by Linda Engberg Dec 24, 2018.

Lost my wife 14 Replies

It's been almost a week since i lost my wife to lung disease. She's in my mind 24/7. I don't have anybody else to talk too. I was carred by emotional and physical abuse mostly in my childhood in…Continue

Started by Kyle McKay. Last reply by Corinne C. Rico Nov 12, 2018.

Lost my husband the father of my kids and bestfriend . 3 Replies

  I lost my husband we were high school sweethearts we had plans and it was not suppose to be this way we had two kids together and I feel so lost and the pain i feel becuase of how much I miss him…Continue

Started by Nicole. Last reply by Fran Oct 19, 2018.

FAILING 9 Replies

next month will be three years since I lost my husband and I'm failing miserably I am in serious debt I cant fix, I stay home because I have extreme difficulty leaving my house I don't know how to…Continue

Started by Pamela philipp. Last reply by Corinne C. Rico Oct 4, 2018.

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Comment by Jon-Paul Ackerman on February 21, 2015 at 11:44am

The pain is consuming. It's overwhelming. My kids aren't enough for me to want to remain. I want to be where she is. Then it hit me, actually the night before last, that I am where she is. I feel her, I hear her, I know she's within me just as much now as when she was in the flesh. The grief, the pain, the withdraws are due to the absence of her perfectly beautiful body; her perfect face, her radiant eyes and smile, her soothing voice... But I'll be home soon with her and our Father... it may be a week, it may be a decade, but it'll come soon. Hopefully sooner than later. But we have to make them proud. Stay strong Marijka, Ashley, Karen, and Leesa....

Comment by Marijka on February 21, 2015 at 4:25am
My babe, my fiancé, my partner, my soulmate, my best friend, my everything died suddenly 5 months ago...yet it only feels like yesterday. My heart and soul are broken. He was only 42 and even though he was 10 years older than me, we had the best relationship. We had known each other for 15 years and had been together 11 years and life was life is a struggle, I don't want to live it without him, I jus want him back. We were meant to get married this year and have more babies. The only reason I haven't joined him is our beautiful 9year old daughter, who has been an amazing strength for me...but I feel so much pain for her, I lost my soul mate but she lost her dad, who she had the most beautiful, wonderful relationship with, he was the best dad and just worshiped the ground she walked on.
I have no one that understands what I'm going through, I feel like I'm expected to get on with things, just move on...but how am I suppose to do that, all my future plans were with him...everything. Even though I have people around me, I feel so alone and lonely, I miss him so much.
Comment by Ashlee on February 20, 2015 at 12:09pm

My beautiful husband of almost 11 years passed away suddenly 4 weeks ago.  He was only 35.  Through all of the sadness and heartbreak, the hardest part for me so far besides losing my best friend, and soul mate, is knowing that my kids are feeling so much pain.

Comment by Karen T. on February 5, 2015 at 5:15pm

Hi Leesa,

I understand how you feel. My husband died in the bed and I couldn't sleep in there forever, but it did help my transition to wrap up in his favorite blanket for comfort. But it still is my first response when something happens in my life- my first thought is I can;t wait to tell me husband or he is not going to believe this when I tell him when I get home and then I have to stop myself and realize that's not going to happen and he won't be there to tell. I do still walk through the apartment and talk about it like he is there listening and it does seem to help, giving that feeling that I have told him and he does know. I hope this helps, but it just feels like a lot of rambling. I am sorry for your loss and hope you can find at least a moment of comfort. You have definately found the right website for that.

Comment by Leesa Lynch on February 5, 2015 at 11:10am

well I have paid off the house no enjoyment there bc I used the life insurence to paid it off I aslo have been busy painting trying my best to change the way the inside looks it hard my soul mate passed away in the living room if  I dont have company I cant stay in the living room yet boy I miss him I find myself picking up the phone to call him yet I know he wont pick up 

Comment by Karen T. on February 4, 2015 at 9:50am

Yeah, I am totally having one of those days. I can manage to write/type a few words for worl and then I have to pause to hold my head. I just don't know what to do. I hate being alone in this world (son not included- speaking about having a partner). I just can't focus and as selfish as it sounds (because he did have some medical problems which he soesn't suffer anymore in Heaven) I just want my husband badk I want to get wrapped up in his arems and know that no matter what is going on, everything is going to be fine because we have each other. Now I am just lost. All I can do today i put my head in my hands and think about him and how much I miss him and how much better this world would be if we were back together again.

Comment by Karen T. on February 4, 2015 at 8:36am

I just don't know how to go on. I fake it for the sake of my son and those around me but in the end I feel like everytime I put on make up I am putting on a mask. I just feel like I'm either dead or dying inside. I haven' even been able to go to church because it's a rather small church so everyone knows us and I just can't stand being among all those people who know what happened and just look at me with sympathy for the 32 year old widow and her son. Being among a crowd of strangers (such as shopping) is easier to deal with. Then there is the importance of comforting my son and helping him through it so by the end if the day I am just so exhausted I'm ready for bed by like 6. Everything is just so hard- I just don't know how I'm going to keep going to come out the other side- I just move one day (sometimes 1 second or 1 minute) at a time and just pray I'll get through soon. Sometimes I feel like I'm even ready for some personal human interaction but then quickly snap back to readlity that I am to much of a mess on the inside to put another person through that. I do thank everyone on here for allowing me an outlet to speak my mind and feelings without repercussions or judgements- it truly does help. Thank you all.

Comment by Jon-Paul Ackerman on February 2, 2015 at 6:53pm

Oh Karen, I know... You'll never feel that again in this life, but the important thing to remember is that you had it... not many ever attain it. There will be a day with no pain or tears. It may seem like it's taking forever but it will be soon. Just think about how fast the past few years has gone by... We just have to endure and hold on a little longer...

Comment by Karen T. on February 2, 2015 at 6:46pm

Life sucks.

Comment by Karen T. on February 1, 2015 at 11:22am

I so miss being in my husbands arms and kissing him, I just don't know what to do or what can help. All I want is that comfort back of being wrapped up in his arms and love. I hate feeling alone and being separated from my one true love and bestfriend.


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Losing Someone to Cancer

This is for anyone who has lost somone to cancer. I lost my adopted Mom to breast cancer some years ago. She was everything I could have asked for. She loved me because I was just me. She also loved my family and children as if they were her own.See More
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M Adams commented on M Adams's blog post Super blood wolf moon - lunar eclipse happening now
"Watching it alone last night was sad but I’m glad to have seen it."
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Trina Mamoon left a comment for morgan
"Dear morgan, I wanted to let you know that I am thinking of you today (January 21st) on the seventh anniversary of the passing of the love of your life. I know that “life” as we live it now after the death of our beloved spouse is worth…"
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Alex is now a member of Online Grief Support - A Social Community
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Brenda Ann left a comment for morgan
"Dear Morgan, You said, ”What the hell happened to him.  Where is he?  I want to know and I know that is impossible.”  I noticed these 2 questions that you asked and noticed that you don’t feel it is possible to find…"
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Linda Engberg commented on Jon-Paul Ackerman's group Lost My Spouse...
"Joe, What a beautiful picture of you and your wife and your gravestones will hold both your bodies but you souls will be united in another realm. Morgan,  You will be in thoughts my tomorrow as you try to make it through the…"
16 hours ago
M Adams posted a blog post

Super blood wolf moon - lunar eclipse happening now

The moon should appear at its reddest at about 9:12 p.m., with the event lasting until about 10:40 p.m.Kelly encourages people to take a look.  "You know, stop and look up and really think about [how] we are on this huge planet, moving around in space and there's very few times that we can actually be reminded and feel the effects of that," she said.See More
23 hours ago
morgan commented on Jon-Paul Ackerman's group Lost My Spouse...
"This website is like a secret world we inhabit where the platitudes and scorn for not fitting in are understood as hogwash.  We know better than anyone on the outside of our grief how this has affected us.  I am so tired of being labeled…"
Nancy commented on Jon-Paul Ackerman's group Lost My Spouse...
"Lovely pictures everyone.   Thank you for sharing.   I am in the same boat.  I just exist.   "
joe kelly commented on Jon-Paul Ackerman's group Lost My Spouse...
"I,m grateful that I found this site.  It's sort of like besides my family, you all are the only friends I have left.  I do have a couple that are long distance, but don't get to see them very often.  All my so called local…"
joe kelly commented on Jon-Paul Ackerman's group Lost My Spouse...
"Here's one of our permanent bed with names blocked out."
joe kelly commented on Jon-Paul Ackerman's group Lost My Spouse...
"Linda, We went on that same excursion off a cruise in 2003.  Here is a pic that was taken on the ship when we renewed our vows at a ceremony performed by the Captain."
Linda Engberg commented on Jon-Paul Ackerman's group Lost My Spouse...
"Morgan & Joe, Thanks for sharing your thoughts. You put into words the horror I go through everyday. Going on year 7 without my Husband Julian. He was my whole life and I want to be with him but I can't. If I didn't believe in God I…"
morgan commented on Jon-Paul Ackerman's group Lost My Spouse...
"Joe, 49 years is a long time.  Long enough to embed yourself in each other and there is nothing that will soothe the tearing apart of that union.  I knew my husband for 55 (since 2nd grade) and we were together for 35.  Long…"
joe kelly commented on Jon-Paul Ackerman's group Lost My Spouse...
"Morgan, Monday will be a very tough day for both of us. It's one year for me which seems like one long day, and six for you, which scares the hell out of me thinking about how long do I have to be here before I go to her. It seems like one long…"
morgan commented on Jon-Paul Ackerman's group Lost My Spouse...
"Lets be honest. Death sucks. As I read the posts on here and I see how we struggle when we lose someone to death it boggles the mind how any of us keep moving. I keep saying to myself there is something I can do to make myself feel better and it…"
Emma is now a member of Online Grief Support - A Social Community
Kelly Lieberman posted a status
"Can't sleep. Typical, my daughter goes back to college in the morning and I am having a hard time with that."

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