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Lost My Spouse...

Members: 364
Latest Activity: May 15

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The Holiday Season and my loss 1 Reply

This Christmas Season this year is very hard.Family gatherings are wonderful but l feel my husband not being so much more.Seeing everyone makes it more real that Ron is not here.The tears are in my…Continue

Started by Denise Lavoie. Last reply by Linda Engberg Dec 24, 2018.

Lost my wife 14 Replies

It's been almost a week since i lost my wife to lung disease. She's in my mind 24/7. I don't have anybody else to talk too. I was carred by emotional and physical abuse mostly in my childhood in…Continue

Started by Kyle McKay. Last reply by Corinne C. Rico Nov 12, 2018.

Lost my husband the father of my kids and bestfriend . 3 Replies

  I lost my husband we were high school sweethearts we had plans and it was not suppose to be this way we had two kids together and I feel so lost and the pain i feel becuase of how much I miss him…Continue

Started by Nicole. Last reply by Fran Oct 19, 2018.

FAILING 9 Replies

next month will be three years since I lost my husband and I'm failing miserably I am in serious debt I cant fix, I stay home because I have extreme difficulty leaving my house I don't know how to…Continue

Started by Pamela philipp. Last reply by Corinne C. Rico Oct 4, 2018.

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Comment by George H on March 30, 2015 at 8:52pm
Donna I truly know how you feel my life for the past 7 years was worried about Mary's appointments her insulin her medication getting a dialysis done feeding or caring for just about everything you could think and then all of a sudden I have no purpose no direction is lonely this everything is in darkness right at the moment I can't even put one foot in front of the other just don't know what to do
Comment by Donna M Dowling-Hall on March 30, 2015 at 8:46pm

My crying happens at night.  Every day seems like an eternity.  Time just drags for me now.  I am a shell of myself.  For the last two years my life center around his appointments and chemo treatments.  I don't know what to do with myself.  There is one thing I look forward to, no, there are two things.  One is one day being able to join Jeremy and the other is AHL Hockey games.  We met because of the AHL.  There is the only place I feel his presence.  I don't feel him anywhere else yet. 

Comment by Dianne M. on March 30, 2015 at 8:23pm

Tildyc I wish I could answer that too. I cry every morning because he is not here with me. I dont know how we bear it either. I am just putting one foot in front of the other and that is all I can manage most days.

Posting helps me.

Comment by Tildyc on March 30, 2015 at 8:20pm
Why does this have to be so damn painful? How am I supposed to bear this??? I really can't take it anymore. There is no relief anywhere and nothing can make this better. I can not stop crying. I cannot find an answer anywhere.
Comment by Sandy Elaine Norris on March 30, 2015 at 6:22pm

George, Fran is absolutely right. Besides heart failure, my husband also suffered from kidney failure. I had to make the call to stop his dialysis because his blood pressure just couldn't take it. He passed away the next day...His heart was just to weak. But I made the call to do what I thought was best and that's what you had to do to. You loved and honored her.

Comment by Fran on March 30, 2015 at 4:56pm

George, You did what Mary wanted. She was still capable of thought and she thought of you. She knew there was nothing more, she knew her quality of life was diminishing further and didn't want either of you to suffer any more. Sometimes watching the one live in a diminished capacity is just as cruel as letting them go with some dignity. There's no easy way. You HONORED her by the care you gave her and it was just time. We will always have doubts and second guesses. I stopped treatments and tortures when my husband reached his limits. Logically, I know it was right...but, in my heart I was selfish and wanted to continue whatever for as long as possible. But, I KNOW he didn't want to suffer anymore.

Comment by George H on March 30, 2015 at 4:38pm
seem to be dealing with a lot of guilt today I had to make a decision to take Mary off the dialysis because it wasn't working and she didn't want to go back on the blood dialysis he just wanted to come home and let nature take its course I did what she wanted cuz that was their wishes now I'm having a real hard time with my decision I was sure it was the right thing to do but I guess I'll second guess myself for a long time
Comment by Sandy Elaine Norris on March 30, 2015 at 4:02pm

I hate it so much that anyone else has to suffer like this. I would love to be able to give you all a great big hug and take away your pain. I already feel like I belong here and I haven't felt that way since Mark died. 

Comment by Sandy Elaine Norris on March 30, 2015 at 3:11pm

I wish that I could stand in for all of y'all so that none of you would have to hurt like this. I don't know anyone on here but I wish that I could bear your pain. I'm so sorry for the loss you have all experienced.

Comment by Sandy Elaine Norris on March 30, 2015 at 3:04pm

I completely agree with y'all. People keep telling that I need to move on with my life. Mark has only been gone 11 weeks. I don't feel like I have a life to move on to. I understand that some people think that they are helping but the endless platitudes are getting on my last nerve. Everything is not going to be okay.

 

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Nancy is now a member of Online Grief Support - A Social Community
6 hours ago
dream moon JO B replied to Elynn m's discussion Lonely
"thnx.............."
21 hours ago
Jazi replied to Elynn m's discussion Lonely
"You are a good person. I'm sorry you are gong through this."
21 hours ago
dream moon JO B replied to Elynn m's discussion Lonely
"thnx  i no 1 day thy will get loss we got but i will not treet thm way did me "
21 hours ago
Jazi replied to Elynn m's discussion Lonely
"Thank you. I am sorry people have abandoned you. "
21 hours ago
dream moon JO B replied to Elynn m's discussion Lonely
"so sorry on yore loss i no u soon lern abot frinds familyy wen it cums to a loss  u soon lern abot real frindss u do evn famllyy 1s it dont trun bac on u wen u need themm "
21 hours ago
Jazi replied to Elynn m's discussion Lonely
"You said everything I am feeling right now. I am doing and thinking the same. I know it doesn't help but I am so sorry. "
21 hours ago
Jazi replied to Elynn m's discussion Lonely
"I am new  here and don't really know how to navigate so forgive if I make a mistake. I am drowning in pain and have been ignored by friends. I have only two left and both have many things of their own. I sit at night and hurt until the…"
21 hours ago
Profile IconKayla and Jazi joined Online Grief Support - A Social Community
Monday
Billy Jo Colt commented on Kelli Auerbach's blog post New York Times essay I wrote about orphanhood
"Thank you Kelly for a genuine and bright yet deep insight into how berievement has affected you. Children are resourcefull and it isn't till in later life that the death of a loved one creates a new reality. I've written a song about the…"
May 17
Kelli Auerbach posted a blog post

New York Times essay I wrote about orphanhood

Hi everyone, I am new to the group, but not to loss. Thanks for adding me.I wanted to share an essay I wrote, "Welcome to the Freak Show: Becoming an Orphan in My 20s", that is in the New York Times today. Even though all of our experiences with grief are unique, I hope it resonates in some way.Best, KelliSee More
May 17
Profile IconKelli Auerbach, Fedor Malkin and Jan McCracken joined Online Grief Support - A Social Community
May 17
Coartney Hale updated their profile
May 15
Coartney Hale posted photos
May 15
Elynn m commented on Jon-Paul Ackerman's group Lost My Spouse...
"Everyone sounds a little down today.   And that's OK.   I do the same thing.   I am learning how to move on with life.  I know that there will never be another Joe.  He was my life, my love.  I miss…"
May 15
Joe Kelly commented on Jon-Paul Ackerman's group Lost My Spouse...
"Over the last couple of days, I've had some real negative thoughts, scary to say the least.  I know I'll never see her here with me again, which I know but can't accept, but today I questioned is she here with me in spirit? …"
May 15
morgan commented on Jon-Paul Ackerman's group Lost My Spouse...
"Marita, not that I am glad to  hear you suffer from anxiety and fear but thank you for at least sharing that you too are overwhelmed with living.  At times I want to scream that the way I feel is not some cry for sympathy but more I am…"
May 15
morgan commented on Jon-Paul Ackerman's group Lost My Spouse...
"Bluebird, You were the original poster who made it real for me that telling the truth about our pain was ok.  That it was how this grief was going to be no mater how I might be told otherwise.  And to know that your truth is that pretty…"
May 15
morgan commented on Jon-Paul Ackerman's group Lost My Spouse...
"Linda, yes, I too have the recurring thoughts my brain sends me that my husband is dead.  It's not possible for me to accept it either.  I know it as fact just as I know the sun shines, but when it appears in my brain I simply cannot…"
May 15
Joe Kelly commented on Jon-Paul Ackerman's group Lost My Spouse...
"As much as we all suffer, some may have an additional burden of having to go out into the real world and deal with people in business to survive.  The impact of that makes it all that much more unbearable.  While I'm not in that…"
May 15

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