Lost My Spouse...

Members: 365
Latest Activity: Sep 11

Discussion Forum

The Holiday Season and my loss 1 Reply

This Christmas Season this year is very hard.Family gatherings are wonderful but l feel my husband not being so much more.Seeing everyone makes it more real that Ron is not here.The tears are in my…Continue

Started by Denise Lavoie. Last reply by Linda Engberg Dec 24, 2018.

Lost my wife 14 Replies

It's been almost a week since i lost my wife to lung disease. She's in my mind 24/7. I don't have anybody else to talk too. I was carred by emotional and physical abuse mostly in my childhood in…Continue

Started by Kyle McKay. Last reply by Corinne C. Rico Nov 12, 2018.

Lost my husband the father of my kids and bestfriend . 3 Replies

  I lost my husband we were high school sweethearts we had plans and it was not suppose to be this way we had two kids together and I feel so lost and the pain i feel becuase of how much I miss him…Continue

Started by Nicole. Last reply by Fran Oct 19, 2018.

FAILING 9 Replies

next month will be three years since I lost my husband and I'm failing miserably I am in serious debt I cant fix, I stay home because I have extreme difficulty leaving my house I don't know how to…Continue

Started by Pamela philipp. Last reply by Corinne C. Rico Oct 4, 2018.

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Comment by Joe Kelly on May 15, 2019 at 3:07pm

Morgan, yes.  Linda, yes.  Marita, yes.  Bulebird, Yes.  I'm becoming paralyzed to the point of petrification.  NOTHING MATTERS except what we all know what it is.  We can't go back and we can't accept that, we can't live like this but we're trapped waiting, because we have to go the way they went, or take a chance of not ending up in their realm of existence.  Catch 22 again.  Everything I think of doing, I say what for?  What does it matter?  My whole day after day after day is sitting here looking at her pictures and talking to her.  The only time I go out is to the cemetery every day.  That's my life now.  Everyone is friendly and waves but must think I'm totally bonkers.  To top it off, anything I do try to do turns to crap anyway.  I'm dead without her.  I do worry for my oldest daughter and support her with finances but I'm powerless to make her cancer go away.  The only thing for me to solve is to go where she went; the way she went.  That's the only thing I need to solve.  Nothing else matters.

Comment by bluebird on May 15, 2019 at 1:01pm
Same here, Marita. Things I would have been able to deal with before (either before I met my husband, or while he was here with me), I cannot handle at all now. Any tiny problem is insurmountable. Everything is.

Morgan, I am truly sorry you are having to deal with this additional difficult situation. I hope you are able to resolve it as quickly and painlessly as possible.
Comment by Marita on May 15, 2019 at 11:35am


i live with constant fear and anxiety. Every time I am confronted with a new problem I break down because my husband is not here to support me, to comfort me, to love me and it is a reminder of my loss.  When things become so overwhelming I just shut down and turn inward. People just don't understand that it isn't self pity, it's "wanting things back the way they were" as Linda says.

Comment by Linda Engberg on May 15, 2019 at 6:07am


My whole problem with myself is I just can't accept my Husband's death and there is a not a thing I can do about it. I want things back the way things were. So to avoid all my breakdowns I try to numb myself with beer. I don't get drunk but I do have 3 a day just to keep me numb and it is the only way I can go on without him. I told my therapist all the different meds I try just don't work, so I have to deal with in my own way.

Comment by morgan on May 14, 2019 at 10:28pm

Terrible,horrible, crippling breakdown tonight.  I know what triggered it and it is something I have struggled with all these years and the closer I get to trying to solve it the worse the breakdowns are becoming. Problem is I am still unable to cross the threshold and just get it done.  It seems my brain just wont let me. They seem to be getting worse.  

Does anyone else have these crippling kind of breakdowns when they come up against something they simply cant seem to solve?  

Comment by Joe Kelly on May 11, 2019 at 4:14pm

It's nice you found something special stand out on his last birthday.   Most of my Love's birthdays, I made special.  We were either on a cruise or a nice land vacation every year on her birthday.  Her last birthday was in between trips and all our kids and grands through her a nice birthday party.  They took a video of it and although I have about 700 pics of her from aged two till days before she died, that is the only video I have of her.  Her birthday is Monday, May 13th.  It fell on Mother's day last year and we all went to the cemetery to place flowers.  Today, we went because tomorrow, Mother's day and Monday, her birthday, it will be nothing but rain here.  I'll still be up there as I'm there every day, but chose today for them to be in the sunshine rather than rain.  They brought mixed bouquets for Mothers Day and I brought some nice red roses.  I will be watching her B-day video a few times on Monday.  Enjoy your pics and memories of that early bloom, which seems to be rare where you are at, and, on his last birthday.  Just as it was rare that we were home for a family birthday party on her last birthday.  Comfort be with you, Joe 

Comment by Linda Engberg on May 11, 2019 at 3:39pm

Beautiful Flowers. May God be with you.


Comment by M Adams on May 11, 2019 at 11:08am

Today is my husband’s birthday — looking at pictures from his last birthday I was struck by all the roses brought in from the garden that day.  At this time of the year there wouldn’t normally be roses in bloom — today there are just a few green buds out there — but there were many out in full early flower on May 11 2016.

Comment by Joe Kelly on May 8, 2019 at 2:51pm

oh well, at least I know if I post a pic you guys can see it.  But still wish I could.

Linda, yes it is an ongoing nightmare for all of us.  It's like it can't be.  But it is.

Comment by Linda Engberg on May 8, 2019 at 2:46pm


Julian's death is the most horrific thing that ever happened to me.

Joe, wish I could help you but I don't know much about fixing your problem. 


Members (365)


Latest Activity

dream moon JO B replied to dream moon JO B's discussion mad at god
"evry now agan i still loss my way i do"
Kim Darichuk is now a member of Online Grief Support - A Social Community
Sep 11
Linda Engberg commented on Jon-Paul Ackerman's group Lost My Spouse...
"Today we Remember 9/11. I can't even imagine the terror and heartbreak the families must still have. Losing my Husband Julian under normal circumstances was bad enough.  God Bless all the people that still suffer from this horrible…"
Sep 11
Trina Mamoon commented on Jon-Paul Ackerman's group Lost My Spouse...
"Dear Morgan, Thanks so very much for your supportive letter. Sorry i didn't see it before. I replied to it just now, Sending you love and good wishes."
Sep 10
Linda Engberg commented on Jon-Paul Ackerman's group Lost My Spouse...
"Thank you friends for sharing your thoughts. I don't know what I do, if I didn't have this place to come to. We are all suffering and the real world just doesn't understand what we are going through. I miss the tender touch of my…"
Sep 10
Joe Kelly commented on Jon-Paul Ackerman's group Lost My Spouse...
"I have nothing that I want to or have to, to keep me busy except doing what I'm doing which has to have something to do with Her.  Like yesterday, I found a small  3/4 X 2 1/2 inch bottle with a cork when I went to the dollar store…"
Sep 9
morgan commented on Jon-Paul Ackerman's group Lost My Spouse...
"Trina, Check your inbox for a message from me. Joe,  So true.  That's exactly why I post here too.  I keep thinking if I get it off my chest and out into cyberspace at least I know I wont be suffering alone.  That consoles…"
Sep 9
Trina Mamoon commented on Jon-Paul Ackerman's group Lost My Spouse...
"Hello All, I am sorry that I have not posted here for a while now to show my support for you. On August 4th it was the fifth anniversary of Joseph's passing. I just don't have the strength or energy anymore to keep pushing to survive each…"
Sep 9
Joe Kelly commented on Jon-Paul Ackerman's group Lost My Spouse...
"I'm in the 19th month and don't know what to say, except that the only time I'm not living this horrible nightmare is when I sleep and don't dream at all.  Even when I post in a way to try to console anyone here, in a way,…"
Sep 9
Linda Engberg commented on Jon-Paul Ackerman's group Lost My Spouse...
"Morgan, Once again I want to Thank You for sharing you thoughts with us. You put into words the things I don't know how to express."
Sep 9
Brett Bowman commented on Karen's group I miss my Mom!
"Avi, I don't mean to be a downer, but I am not sure there is an end to our grief. I know mine is still going strong. I wish the good things in my life were as consistent as this is. We have to keep moving though. Keep taking baby steps. Assay…"
Sep 8
morgan commented on Jon-Paul Ackerman's group Lost My Spouse...
"John T,   I saw your post late late last night.  I see you are still doing your best to cope. I remember a time that I wasn't even coping. I was barely standing.  After six years seven months I have become anesthetized.…"
Sep 8
Avi commented on Karen's group I miss my Mom!
"Hi All, Today I suddenly had grief all over the day. I miss my mother a lot and it seems that there is no end to this grief. Hope I meet her someday when I leave this world.  Just wanted to share my feelings here because people around me…"
Sep 8
Profile IconBev R, Kelly Darnell and Wil McGregor joined Online Grief Support - A Social Community
Sep 8
Linda Engberg commented on Jon-Paul Ackerman's group Lost My Spouse...
"John, We are blessed to have this wonderful group to come to and share our grief."
Sep 8
Nancy commented on Jon-Paul Ackerman's group Lost My Spouse...
"Thinking of you John T.  I understand.  "
Sep 7
John T. replied to Elynn m's discussion Lonely again
"5 years since my wife died suddenly of heart failure right in front of me.  The time since that day has been just awful and when I reached this anniversary, I just couldn't believe it.  All I think about is all the years ahead without…"
Sep 7
John T. commented on Jon-Paul Ackerman's group Lost My Spouse...
"Yesterday was the 5th anniversary of the death of my wife.  I spent the day unable to believe it has been 5 years but somewhat surprised at how well I handled the day.  Today I have kept having outbursts of crying and overwhelming memories…"
Sep 7
Emmyk replied to Amy R's discussion So many questions in the group Being the Other Woman/Other Man
"That is horrific for you. Im so sorry. Just know yoy aren't alone. Know we dont think you are some kind of monster and know that we validate what you guys had and the love that existed there. Try not to fixate on the particulars that you have…"
Sep 4
Joe Kelly left a comment for Maria
"Maria, The only comfort I can possibly provide is that your mother and father are blissfully reunited eternally in spirit.  I lost my wife to cancer over 18 months ago.  We were together since age 16 and would had celebrated our 50th…"
Sep 3

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