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I miss my Mom!

If you have that hole in your heart that you get when you lose the woman that you shared a body with....

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New here 3 Replies

Started by Lynn Fisher. Last reply by Brett Bowman on Saturday.

Never ending 4 Replies

Started by Betty Ellsworth. Last reply by Brenda Ann Jan 11.

Does it ever end? 5 Replies

Started by Betty Ellsworth. Last reply by Sun Oct 29, 2018.

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Comment by SelV on December 14, 2018 at 4:02pm

Dear Mother,

On 15 March 2018

You departed this world.

Watching you take the last breath

Cremating your body thereafter

Collecting your ashes and

Scattering them into the sea

Have broken me...totally!

Having nurtured me with love and care

Unconditionally...

For more than half a century

Your absence makes me drown

In an ocean of tears...

You mattered most to me

But now nothing matters...as much!

Waiting patiently

To complete my sojurn on Earth

Embrace eternal sleep

To return home to you, Ma!

Your soulmate loving daughter

Comment by Brett Bowman on December 13, 2018 at 1:05pm

Pamela, you are grieving for your mother. You may not be able to see it but I can. My father was horrible. I did not grieve his death. I barely gave it a second thought. You are grieving your mom, and you are grieving the way things were. The advice I would give you is this... there is no way to change the past. If you can, wish her peace. Talk out loud to her. Tell her what you feel. Tell her that you love her anyway, and wish her peace. It's not really about forgiveness. It's about letting go and finding peace.

You had a horrible experience. To lose them both in nearly a weeks time would be incredibly traumatic. We are always here if we can help you.

Comment by Pamela philipp on December 13, 2018 at 10:13am

I lost my mother on 9-6-15 eight days before I lost my husband on 9-14-15 and I feel horrible because I am struggling with how I am grieving for my mother because we had a very strained relationship because my mother was an alcoholic all her life and was physically and emotionally abusive when I was growing up I also know that she lied to me about who my father is and she never told me the truth and when she passed away I felt anger because of how she left things and now I feel like I don't belong and I cant find forgiveness for her I loved my mother and I do miss her but still feel horrible because I haven't grieved for her I feel  like there is something wrong with me I am so broken losing my husband but losing my mother has left me feeling lost can someone please give me advice on what to do  

Comment by Daylight on December 12, 2018 at 9:42pm
Hi Avi, it would be nice to have a friend. The time gap is big but we can agree on a time to talk. Keeping busy also functions for me. Anyways, as soon as I have free time the thoughts and feelings came back and grief hits so hard. I wish you have a nice day.
Comment by Daylight on December 12, 2018 at 9:37pm
M Adams , I hope this feeling of desolation lessens in time. It is an extremely hard process. Unbearable at times. I hope you are doing well.
Comment by Avi on December 12, 2018 at 9:23pm

Hi Daylight

India is 8.30 hours ahead of Argentina. We can talk at your early morning whenever you want. 

Feeling of desolation still exists for me but I try to be strong and do things (work, travel, eating etc) with sincerity. 

Comment by M Adams on December 12, 2018 at 8:27pm

Agreed, Daylight.  I often think about how appalled my mom and my husband would be by my current state.  But I would say that the feeling of total desolation will change, based on my experience with my husband’s death, thirty months ago.  In that case I could see improvement in my functionality, energy, etc., particularly last summer, when I started having more positive memories of my life with my husband, instead of constant painful and traumatic feelings of loss, and more energy for life — then my mother, who had been improving, suddenly died, and I have kind of gone backwards since then.  So I think there is for most people a process.

Comment by Daylight on December 12, 2018 at 3:59pm
I just wonder if these feelings of complete desolation will ever end. We have to remain strong. I think that is what our moms would have wanted for us.
Comment by Brett Bowman on December 12, 2018 at 2:43pm

You sound just like me. Lost at a mall. Waiting outside of my school for my mom to come pick me up. Expecting her to come home from a trip. Mom had been there for me my whole entire life. She never let me down.

We can't have that back. This is one set of circumstances that my mom can't overcome. Hopefully, if I can keep standing up, eventually I will be able to stand on my own two feet. And I'll tell you, the easy thing to do would be to let the grief overtake you, to just roll up in a little ball and give up. It even sounds good, but life doesn't allow that. We have to stand up. We have to keep moving. Our sanity depends on it.

Comment by Daylight on December 12, 2018 at 1:43pm
Sorry for The grammar mistakes. I'm writing from my smartphone.
 

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Sue Toler commented on Karen's group I miss my Mom!
"I just feel like I am in a fog.  I have a little dog that is at least ten years old.  She adored my Mom & she has really grieved for her.  I know how you feel about your dog.  I worry about her.  She is all I have. …"
4 hours ago
Theresa commented on Karen's group I miss my Mom!
"Me too Brett, I sit here an look at my 12 year old Labrador and I know he is on borrowed time, and my heart breaks, losing him will be something that I am not looking forward to. As you said Brett, we have the live our lives until we are called…"
5 hours ago
Brett Bowman commented on Karen's group I miss my Mom!
"Yes, I was looking at something that popped up on my Yahoo news feed. It was an article naming 106 celebrities who have passed away in 2019. So many names and faces that I remembered. Now they are gone, and they aren't coming back. Their time…"
11 hours ago
Theresa commented on Karen's group I miss my Mom!
"Brett so true she was my security blanket I feel like I have no one to lean on that understood me like her You know what keeps coming in my mind. How true it is and scary that everything has a beginning and an end."
14 hours ago
Theresa commented on Karen's group I miss my Mom!
"I hear it all the time you don’t know how lucky you were that your mother wasn’t sick and you didn’t have to take care of her I say to them lucky I was lucky that my mother died and I was not right by her side to tell her I love…"
yesterday
Brett Bowman commented on Karen's group I miss my Mom!
"M, the problem is that our security blankets were ripped away. Like you, sometimes I am glad to be sad. I feel like I am closer to my mom when I am crying. At least, her memory is fresher with me when I am in that zone. I feel like the hard reality…"
yesterday
Brett Bowman commented on Karen's group I miss my Mom!
"Theresa, millions, billions of people have lost their moms. Sometimes someone will tell me that they have lost their mom, too, but they were able to deal with it, and they wonder why I haven't dealt with it as well. This may sound like an…"
yesterday
M Adams commented on Karen's group I miss my Mom!
"Me too ...I was sitting marking a paper yesterday and suddenly realized that I can’t see or talk to my mother about this or anything else and the tears came.  But I’m glad to think of her, in a way I can be glad to be sad sometimes.…"
yesterday
Theresa commented on Karen's group I miss my Mom!
"I sometimes will just be sitting down and I start to cry because I keep thinking I miss my mom so much my whole world is just not the same I think that I’ve become a different person it will be four years and I still cry I can’t put into…"
yesterday
M Adams commented on Karen's group I miss my Mom!
"Definitely a colder world now.  I like the image of the security blanket — like, as we go forward, we will always keep it but eventually may be able to wash it, fold it nicely, and put it in some place of honour close at hand but without…"
yesterday
Brett Bowman commented on Karen's group I miss my Mom!
"The world just became a colder place when my mom died. I just remember feeling like all was right with the world when my mom was in the next room. "
yesterday
Sue Toler commented on Karen's group I miss my Mom!
"It is such a traumatic event, especially when you have had a wonderful Mom.  It is so hard knowing she is gone.  Knowing this is permanent.  There is no one that can fill the void she left.  My brother was close to Mom, but he…"
yesterday
Cherie is now a member of Online Grief Support - A Social Community
Tuesday
Amy replied to Amy's discussion How do I get unstuck?
"I am not a believer and nor was he. We covered the bases just incase though. We were both raised Catholic. That is all besides the point though. "
Tuesday
Brett Bowman commented on Karen's group I miss my Mom!
"While I never forget that my mom is gone, for some reason it just hits me over the head sometimes. Just out of the blue I'll be like, "Mom is gone." It's horrible. It's ever present. And the thing is that it is always with…"
Monday
Sue Toler commented on Karen's group I miss my Mom!
"My Mom also.  I could always talk to her about anything & knew she was someone I could totally trust.  I am constantly thinking of something I want to share with her & then I remember she is gone.  I loved spending time with…"
Monday
Brett Bowman commented on Karen's group I miss my Mom!
"There is no doubt that it is anxiety. In fact, I think we are experiencing fight or flight. Since birth my mom had been my security blanket."
Monday
Sue Toler commented on Karen's group I miss my Mom!
"It is still numbing to think my Mom is gone & I can't talk to her or see her again.  I lost part of me when she passed.  Someone said the restless feelings I have are really anxiety.  Daily crying is part of my life. …"
Monday
Brett Bowman commented on Karen's group I miss my Mom!
"I would rather cry on the outside than on the inside. Crying on the outside is a release. I am really tired of being sad. I'm also tired of being scared. Life without my mom still seems like a scary proposition. All we can do is to continue to…"
Monday
Profile IconGeorge Makhniashvili and Amatullah joined Online Grief Support - A Social Community
Saturday

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