I miss my Mom!

If you have that hole in your heart that you get when you lose the woman that you shared a body with....

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Song to my mom 3 Replies

Started by Panda. Last reply by Jayne May 14.

New here 4 Replies

Started by Lynn Fisher. Last reply by Jayne May 14.

Never ending 4 Replies

Started by Betty Ellsworth. Last reply by Brenda Ann Jan 11, 2019.

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Comment by Avi on June 23, 2019 at 1:03pm

Yes we have no choice but to live without our mothers. Grief and guilt will be there through out and some days will be really hard than others. Yesterday was pathetic for me as my father said something that really hit me. I hope to see my mother some day. 
How is Virginia?

Comment by Brett Bowman on June 20, 2019 at 11:14pm

I do not know how to live this life without my mother either, but if there is one thing that I have learned, it's that I have no choice. Life comes for you regardless of whether or not we want to be a part of it.

Comment by SelV on June 20, 2019 at 8:01pm

Good enough my siblings and their families attended my mother's funeral, Brett. To expect them to be at our beck and call and lend emotional support to us who were our mothers' caregiver before, during and after our mothers' death...oh well...they were/are probably busy with their own lives and families. We hit rock bottom.

Maybe it took our siblings a day, a week or even a month/few months to grief mother's death and then they moved on. I am assuming that. We, as caregivers, saw our mothers in good health, then decline in health resulting in our anticipatory grief and finally watching them succumbing to illness or sudden death. Still thinking, missing, pining and yearning for our mothers after more than a year...she was our family, our lives revolved around her and vice versa for a long time. 

Having had my mother in my life for more than half a century, I am not sure how to continue this life without her presence. Nothing seems meaningful to me. She was my life and something in me died when I saw her taking the last breath...still very clearly etched in mind.

Brett, I am healthy, have work life balance and financially stable...and appreciate my singlehood.  But LIFE really s**** without my mother...hate this life design!

Rambling on...crazy me!!

Good day everyone!!!

Comment by Brett Bowman on June 20, 2019 at 11:34am

SelV, that really hit home with me. My brothers and sister were not around through my mom's illness. After she died, I tried to reach out to them. I should have known better. All I got was insults. It was horrible, and the timing of it could not have been worse.

Comment by SelV on June 20, 2019 at 8:56am

Dear heartfelt condolences and hugs. I wanted someone in real life, especially, my siblings,  to listen to my pain and emotions of watching my mother die but I did not get that kind of support. And I know I will never get that. Hope you have some kind of family support to tide over this period. Our mothers' death, if we had been extremely close to her and/or taken care of her, is a very very painful reality that we can never come to terms with. I am sure many of us here still cry everyday for our mothers like a little girl/boy regardless of our age. Take care girl!

Comment by Brett Bowman on June 20, 2019 at 2:05am

Yeah, you could lose your mom at 100 and it would still hurt badly. There is never a good time, and once they are gone, it's hard to take satisfaction in the fact that they lived so long because you can't hug them today. There is never enough time to be with your mom.

Still, I think I would have felt lost if I had lost my mom at 16. I feel lost now. I would also feel somewhat betrayed because other kids my age will have their moms for years to come. It's not fair. And Abbie didn't get to say goodbye to her mom. She didn't see it coming. She had no time to prepare. There were six days that her mom was alive that she missed out on. That's enough to drive you into your room and not want to come out.

Abbie, I hope that you are close with your dad, maybe even have a grandma or two. Let them love you. Hold onto them.

Comment by Avi on June 20, 2019 at 1:40am

I was 31 when my mom died but it hardly makes any difference. The grief and guilt remains the same. 

Comment by Brett Bowman on June 19, 2019 at 2:06pm

Abbie, I hope that you will continue to post here. I want to help if I can. I may have been a lot older when my mom died, but I sure felt like a little boy when she did pass. I was like a lost little boy who just wanted his mom. 

Comment by Theresa on June 19, 2019 at 11:02am

Yes I agree with Brett and Sue, this website is wonderful, it has helped me understand that I am not alone.

Its like you find a bond with the people on here.

Yes 16 is very young to lose your mom, I am sorry for that, we are all here for you.

Comment by Brett Bowman on June 18, 2019 at 11:12pm

Abbie, I am so sorry. This is a good place to talk because everyone here knows what it's like to lose their mom. We know how much it hurts. Every circumstance is different. I don't know what it's like to have lost my mom at 16. I can't imagine. One thing we all have in common is that we all loved our moms with all of our hearts. We still do.

If I can help you in any way, please let me know. If you have questions, need advice, or just need someone to lean on, please let me know.

God Bless You.


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My Story

When I was twelve my mother was murdered then my beloved sweet grandmother died when I was 18. My maternal grandfather died when I was 22. My maternal grandmother died when I was 33 and my final living parent/grandparent died when I was 35.  I lived with a lot of loss most of it came at a sudden clip.  I'm left with incredible feeling of loneliness even though I've been married for 20+ years and have two wonderful children.  It's tough to share my true feelings with my wife because it's so hard…See More
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When I was twelve years old, my mother was brutally murdered during a robbery of our home.  I came within minutes of finding her body but by sheer chance I didn't.  It has been over 35 years since that day but it still effects my life today.  As a child, I went through the trial of the man convicted of killing my beautiful mother then as a man I went through his parole process finally his death from illness in prison. See More
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