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I miss my Mom!

If you have that hole in your heart that you get when you lose the woman that you shared a body with....

Members: 733
Latest Activity: May 14

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Song to my mom 3 Replies

Started by Panda. Last reply by Jayne May 14.

New here 4 Replies

Started by Lynn Fisher. Last reply by Jayne May 14.

Never ending 4 Replies

Started by Betty Ellsworth. Last reply by Brenda Ann Jan 11, 2019.

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Comment by Theresa on June 18, 2019 at 5:45pm

abbie

my mom died the same way sudden cardiac death, I know exactly how you feel.....

Comment by abbie burns on June 18, 2019 at 5:12pm

Its so hard i miss her so much and can't speak to anyone about it

Comment by abbie burns on June 18, 2019 at 5:11pm

My mum died on a trip with my dad to new york. I already hadn't seen her for 6 days. I'm only 16 and it was a sudden cardiac death

Comment by Brett Bowman on June 13, 2019 at 2:47pm

I was with my mom when she passed and it was not sudden. I may have thought I was prepared. I wasn't. I tried to say and do all of the right things. Still, after her last breath, it was as though I hadn't prepared at all. I knew what to do. I knew who to call, but how do you go from having someone be a constant part of your life, the best part, to not having her at all? It's an odd feeling. I was just looking at her, seeing that same familiar face, but I knew she was far away from me.

It was worth it though. Mom will always be worth it.

Comment by Brett Bowman on June 13, 2019 at 1:27pm

It's important to have people in your life who understand, even if they are on a message board like this, because sometimes you have to look far and wide to find someone to walk with you.

Sometimes I will call my mom's sister. She will listen for a minute and then she will start talking about her grand kids latest accomplishments, or about a vacation that her kids are taking. I am not afforded grief.

Sometimes we have to take this walk alone. There are people who have a wonderful support system. God Bless them. There are others who do not. I come here from time to time because I know that the people here understand. I hope to offer a listening ear to others as well. I can't be where you are and put my arm around you, but I can sure listen, and I sure do understand.

Comment by Brett Bowman on June 13, 2019 at 11:01am

Three months is not very long. It is still very fresh for you. There will be a lot of triggers. Sometimes they will hit you out of the blue. Other times you know that one is coming, like if you have to drive by a familiar place. It's important to face them head on. It sounds like you are.

Comment by Avi on June 13, 2019 at 2:25am

I agree Brett. It is mainly the guilt. Thanks for the nice words

Comment by Brett Bowman on June 13, 2019 at 1:20am

After my mom died I came to a sad reality. It didn't really matter who reached out to me. I mean, it certainly helped to have a shoulder to lean on, but the only person I really wanted to talk to was my mom. I can't have that. We can't have that.

Avi, what you are talking about is two fold. One: It's hard to have a good time because we remember what we have lost, and it can hit you right in the middle of a good belly laugh. Grief has a very long reach. Two: And this is most unfortunate, is the frequent guilt that accompanies grief. It's one thing for me to say to myself, "How can I be having a good time without mom?" I can live with that. It's when I start feeling guilt about all of the things I think I should have done. Hindsight is 20/20. I can't have the old days back. I hope and pray that we all can let go of the lingering, ever present grief that we have. We can learn from our mistakes, but we cannot go back and make them right. Mom's have strong shoulders. If ever I let my mom down, she loved me with all of her heart knowing full well that I was a long way from perfect. It's that unconditional love that I miss the most.

Comment by Avi on June 13, 2019 at 12:04am

I also feel alone in a room full of people, even in parties and celebrations. My inner conscious does not allow me to enjoy.

Comment by Brett Bowman on June 12, 2019 at 10:48pm

Theresa and I lost our moms the same week. I'm glad that someone else understands how I feel, and it's nice to know that we are not alone, but to Sel's point, in a lot of ways I could feel alone in a room full of loving people. No one can replace our moms. 

 

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dream moon JO B commented on Diana, Certified Grief Counselor's group I love my Dad.
"sorry on yore loss mary "
8 hours ago
marie commented on Diana, Certified Grief Counselor's group I love my Dad.
"I am so sorry Mary Kay. Our hearts were broken when we lost our dad. My sister-in-law had told us to prepare that tears and grief would come in waves...out of nowhere. One of my cousins had lost her dad before us and she spoke some wise words to us:…"
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Gilda commented on Diana, Certified Grief Counselor's group I love my Dad.
"Welcome, Mary Kay, I am so deeply sorry for your loss. I can relate to everything you wrote about the loss of your beloved dad, except I was alone with him in the hospital when he passed away. It's the worst thing in the world to lose the…"
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Mary Kay commented on Diana, Certified Grief Counselor's group I love my Dad.
"Hello, I am a newbie.  I lost my father on May 22nd at 2.22am. He was 92 years old.  Loosing him is the hardest thing I have ever gone through.  I really miss him.  We were able to have a funeral for him but there were so many…"
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