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Comment by Joe H on October 6, 2014 at 9:10pm

If the name of this board is accurate I am in the right place. But I really don't know what to say at the moment. I have lost 4 siblings to cancer and one to a heart attack. My dad passed from a massive stroke when I was 26 and my mom died 3 months ago. My anxiety has been a roller coaster and hidden from most family and friends as best I can but with three deaths in short span I find I'm not coping with many things in life very well right now. I never showed grief to my wife and kids for years and now I'm showing everything all at once and I think it's now put my wife under a lot of stress too because of how hard I've leaned on her and how weak I've been for the first time in 21 years of marriage. Since mom passed I feel like a child at times and I have way too much sadness eating me up.

Comment by Survivor17 on May 11, 2014 at 3:34pm

Hi everyone it has been a while since I have been in here and a lot has gone on in the past few months...  I went through some major depression and stress over losing mom last November that I ended up being hospitalized , I did make it through and I now can actually get through days without crying without such extreme sadness. It did take time and the will to push through but i made it to the other side. I hope everyone is doing OK and on the road to healing . xoxo

Comment by Survivor17 on December 26, 2013 at 1:47am

Well ... Its over... Christmas 2013 is in the past . I had so much anxiety ,depression and just flat out collapsing into cry spells the past few days honestly how I made it through alive is beyond me . I do know from reading all the posts in all the groups so many of you can relate. I just hope and pray that now we can take our breaths a little easier as we continue to heal without all the added pressure.  god bless everyone

Comment by Survivor17 on December 19, 2013 at 7:02pm

((hugs)) for everyone who are suffering and anticipating the holiday ahead ... I am one like you, I have been off of here for a few days because it has been really hard for me. Losing my mom less than a month ago and having so many other issues going on in my life has pushed my grief to the limits . The anxiety and depression is at an all time high as I search for a slight glimmer of light at the end of that tunnel . The holidays with all the ads, and seeing all the happy family's together can really hurt. This is all really hard for me because I am having to deal with so much loss all at once alone. The nights of hardly any sleep , the morning filled with anxiety... the dread and sadness that lingers all. day . Sometimes I wonder if it will ever end. 

I pray for a miracle daily ... I am wishing peace , love and comfort to all who are in this terrible pain . 

Comment by Melisa C on December 17, 2013 at 3:39pm

Dia, my situation and feelings are very much like yours. I may be doing something and I suddenly realize again that my mom is gone. It's like hitting my head against a wall everytime the thought comes to my head.

Comment by dream moon JO B on December 15, 2013 at 3:18pm

iv had 1 of thm days wear iv cryd a lot coz of xmas misng my dad oth peple iv lost ths yr lst yr 

me mum saw 1 of her frinds yday 1 of fmly died on tht bad wrd my dad died on she hd sm hrbel trwtmnt off thm lazy nrse lk i did 

i cnt evn vist any 1 in hosplte coz of ths wrd trmtzing me its dun ths 2 a lot of peple if i evr get sersly illid rthr not go in ths hopslt or anhy hosplte i dnt id rthr go 2 funrell hme lk iv saed a few tms on hear it lest u get betr respct betr tretment 

i evn get sic of ths wrd get over it its easy by peple its nvr lost any 1 

sory if im rantng wavng a bit 2 mush

Comment by Dia -Ayesha on December 15, 2013 at 8:53am

I just feel sad , alone, lost , heartbroken and lonely. It doesn't matter what I'm doing , where I am , whether I'm surrounded by people or alone the constant thought eunning through my mind is :my mom's gone forever. Everywhere around me people are super happy, excited over who knows what. But all I feel is broken. Mom suffered tremendously before she went. I know death is natural, inevitable but I'm in shock over her death. I can't accept her death and the way she suffered and died. Too much pain and bitterness in my heart . Sorry for sounding negtive but this is how i truly feel . A great , noble, human being suffered and died a tragic death. Where's the justice in that???

Comment by Dia -Ayesha on December 15, 2013 at 8:53am

I just feel sad , alone, lost , heartbroken and lonely. It doesn't matter what I'm doing , where I am , whether I'm surrounded by people or alone the constant thought eunning through my mind is :my mom's gone forever. Everywhere around me people are super happy, excited over who knows what. But all I feel is broken. Mom suffered tremendously before she went. I know death is natural, inevitable but I'm in shock over her death. I can't accept her death and the way she suffered and died. Too much pain and bitterness in my heart . Sorry for sounding negtive but this is how i truly feel . A great , noble, human being suffered and died a tragic death. Where's the justice in that???

Comment by Mark on December 15, 2013 at 12:30am

I'm sorry if I don't come on the site as much as some people. I always get the emails saying about posts, and I want to come on here sometimes, but sometimes don't feel up to it.

 

Today, for somereason going to a shop that my parents used to go to - eventhough I've gone there a few times since their passing without a bunch of emotions - today I had emotions and was feeling off. I didn't get emotional right in the store, but later on.  It's hard to explain.

 

I am trying to look forward, and plan for the future, but also live a day at a time. Things are tough right now with work and a few things and think this isn't helping plus with all the "hype" in the world for "Family" with Christmas time. I'm trying to spend time just myself and also trying to mingle.  It is really tough not having really any close family.  One sister we seem to have a challenging time when ever we get together (she sees blue, I see green, it's always a challenge). I want to be around her, but can't take the constant arguments that seem to always develop with her.

 

I don't have really any remaining uncles aunts. One other sibling has chosen to not talk to me, and quite frankly I'm fine with that. It's a shame for my niece/nephew that they won't likely ever know me now.   Thanks for listening to my rant.

Comment by dream moon JO B on December 14, 2013 at 3:48pm

i no i fnd satdays hrd coz my dad died on a sataday on ths horble wrd lazy nurse bitchng bean rasest so on i cnt fogt ths horble wrd nw i say if im evr tkng ill id rathr go 2 funrell hme wear my dad woz it least u gt betr tretmnt u do im sory if im sondng off  a bit 

wen  dream abot my dad othr lovd 1s it has pst i feal lk thy r alve agin till i wake up thn thy hav gon again it lest in dreams thy r still hear

jo

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