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Traumatic, Sudden Loss

Members: 942
Latest Activity: Oct 5, 2022

Traumatic, Sudden Loss

I have started this group for people who like myself have suddenly, tragically and traumatically lost a loved one.

My mom died 8 weeks ago (August 17, 2009) She had been sick but I did not know the true extent of her illness. Her doctor knew she did not have long and I went to each doctor visit and talked to him at the hospital and he never told me and I do not believe mom knew either. I am not sure.

I found my mom sitting up on her bed and I know I knew she was gone. I still am in deep shock and cry occasionally but only a minute or two. Then I am back to not feeling or feel numb.

Discussion Forum

Loss of boyfriend due to motorcycle 3 Replies

Hello everyone, my name is Brittany. I am new to this and not quiet sure how this works. My therapist pointed me in this direction so i thought i would give it a try. I am 24 years old from…Continue

Started by Brittany. Last reply by Denise D Jan 31, 2021.

New to the Group

Hello All-I am a new widow as my husband passed away April 21, 2018 at the age of 49. He suffered a heart attack and had no previous history of any heart conditions nor does it run in his family.  I…Continue

Started by Danielle Wood Aug 2, 2018.

Struggling 2 Replies

Hi. My name is Cristal. I lost the love of my life on July 2nd. He had leukemia and had no idea. I begged him to see a doctor in the months prior to his death but he would not do it. He also suffered…Continue

Started by Cristal. Last reply by Cristal Aug 1, 2018.

My "Little Brother"

Hi Everyone, My name is Carlyn, and I live in the Ft. Lauderdale area. I joined this site because a very dear friend of mine was killed in a hit-and-run accident in May. My friend Rick, whom I called…Continue

Tags: violent, death, loss, sudden, friend

Started by Carlyn Jorgensen Aug 28, 2017.

Comment Wall

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Comment by stewart p on October 8, 2017 at 3:29pm

Nearly 5 years coming up and not much new to say.  Use to post on here a lot the first couple of years, notice a lot of new faces, Id say welcome but this isn't the sort of place you want to come to, more out of quiet desperation or need.  This is the  "new normal" and it does not seem to get better, change or go away with time, I just get more acquainted with it, it becomes a more familiar face to have around each day.   I think one just gets use to it and learns to live with it's constant companionship of that loss of love we once knew.  I have to admit I feel somewhat cheated, sudden unexpected losses leave no room to make amends and such which continue to haunt my life everyday.  Then I came across this poetic verse and oh the pain of what we could of should of would of reminds me of who I am and who I am not.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=vMVrViMFeuc

Be sure to follow the lyrics

Comment by Michaela waldier on October 8, 2017 at 12:22pm
Hello everyone,I'm new to the group,am so sorry for everyone's loss. I am finding we all deal with things the best we can, there isn't a right or wrong way to grieve,it's all very personal. I lost my hunni 8 weeks ago tommorrow and Monday's are never easy to deal with.i am blessed to have a very busy 3 yo that helps keep me focused on being as whole as I can so I help him heal since we both were in the house when my love shot himself..i didn't have any warning other than him saying,"i am so very sorry, I love You."that was it. The next Thing was the shotgun blast.ill spare you the details of everything next,I guess I just didn't know how strong I could be until that was all I had left
Comment by Carlyn Jorgensen on September 13, 2017 at 2:50pm

I got a new phone recently. While transferring my contacts over, I had a moment where I debated whether or not to bring my "little brother" Rick's number over. Even though I know he'll never answer his phone again, I can't bring myself to delete his number yet. Maybe in time, but I'm just not ready. Anyone else dealing with this right now?

Comment by Sara on September 12, 2017 at 6:13pm
Hey everyone. My name is sara. So 2 months have passed since i lost my big brother to suicide! My heart is broke. And i dont know how to fix it. It broke before 2012 when i lost both my grandparents in a car accident. Why do these massive trumatic things happen in life. Our family is devistated. Help. X
Comment by Christine Ford on August 22, 2017 at 11:41am

I'm new to the group.  In November 2015 my Mom & Dad were cutting a tree branch in their backyard and the branch fell on my Mom and killed her.  I am numb some days.  I just try to focus on how wonderful my mom was, not how she died.  Sometimes I think that's how Mom would have wanted it; quick.  She absolutely hated doctors and hospitals.  She was a wonderful grandmother to my children.

Comment by Jen on August 11, 2017 at 2:36pm
Hi Jennifer, I'm new here, but just wanted to reach out to say I'm very sorry for your loss.
I lost my partner of 12 years at the end of June. He wasn't sick at all. He got up one morning and within 15 minutes stopped breathing. I had to give him cpr for 10 minutes until the ambulance came and they did it for another 10 until they got him back. He never woke up and died in intensive care 2 days later.
I understand the trauma and flashbacks that you are facing, it will ease a little with time. I spent the first month blaming myself that I didn't call the ambulance quick enough or didn't do the cpr properly to bring him back.
I couldn't face my living room I redecorated the whole thing so I would stop seeing him lying on my sofa or floor slipping away from me. I had to make it look different, silly I guess but it has helped me a little.
Try not to focus on the trauma and the specific details of his passing.
Just remember the love you shared and the beautiful family you made together.
My words probably don't help much as I'm pretty much still a mess myself. But sending you big hugs and all the positivity that I can muster. Take care of yourself and your little ones x
Comment by Theresa on August 11, 2017 at 5:44am

Jennifer to add my mom wasn't sick in the hospital, she went in cardiac arrest upon arrival to the hospital and I was on my way I got there immediately after and I have to live with that the rest of my life.

Comment by Theresa on August 11, 2017 at 5:43am

Jennifer, I am in the same situation as you but with my mom, one minute I was talking to her and the next they tell me she is in full cardiac arrest, I remember everything the drs the nurses, the room, the machines, watching them do chest compressions, and then the dr looking at me and saying do you want us to continue this, it awful and then I went into a fog for one year.

Comment by Theresa on June 18, 2017 at 5:19am

It just gets "softer" he will always be in your heart.

I think about my mom every single day and its been 1 1/2 yrs

I call it my new life

Comment by Melissa Malone on June 18, 2017 at 12:55am

Lost my husband April 30th.  I was supposed to go first as I had 2 hospital stays in less than 2 months. Wade found me unresponsive and I ended up on a ventilator in ICU. Wade has almost never been sick. I find him unresponsive and he basically died in route to hospital. I miss him terribly. I feel that my heart is broken and my soul shattered. I can't sleep or eat. I've lost 20 lbs since he passed. Does this pass at some point?

 

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