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Traumatic, Sudden Loss

Members: 942
Latest Activity: Oct 5, 2022

Traumatic, Sudden Loss

I have started this group for people who like myself have suddenly, tragically and traumatically lost a loved one.

My mom died 8 weeks ago (August 17, 2009) She had been sick but I did not know the true extent of her illness. Her doctor knew she did not have long and I went to each doctor visit and talked to him at the hospital and he never told me and I do not believe mom knew either. I am not sure.

I found my mom sitting up on her bed and I know I knew she was gone. I still am in deep shock and cry occasionally but only a minute or two. Then I am back to not feeling or feel numb.

Discussion Forum

Loss of boyfriend due to motorcycle 3 Replies

Hello everyone, my name is Brittany. I am new to this and not quiet sure how this works. My therapist pointed me in this direction so i thought i would give it a try. I am 24 years old from…Continue

Started by Brittany. Last reply by Denise D Jan 31, 2021.

New to the Group

Hello All-I am a new widow as my husband passed away April 21, 2018 at the age of 49. He suffered a heart attack and had no previous history of any heart conditions nor does it run in his family.  I…Continue

Started by Danielle Wood Aug 2, 2018.

Struggling 2 Replies

Hi. My name is Cristal. I lost the love of my life on July 2nd. He had leukemia and had no idea. I begged him to see a doctor in the months prior to his death but he would not do it. He also suffered…Continue

Started by Cristal. Last reply by Cristal Aug 1, 2018.

My "Little Brother"

Hi Everyone, My name is Carlyn, and I live in the Ft. Lauderdale area. I joined this site because a very dear friend of mine was killed in a hit-and-run accident in May. My friend Rick, whom I called…Continue

Tags: violent, death, loss, sudden, friend

Started by Carlyn Jorgensen Aug 28, 2017.

Comment Wall

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Comment by Lorie Dunn on March 14, 2010 at 12:02am
Hi Deneene I just read your message. I lost my 16 year old son due to a drug overdose on Dec 26, 2009. I just wanted you to know that I understand what you mean about not realizing how bad it was until after. The what-ifs some days and nights just won't stop! You are in my thoughts and prayers
Comment by Deneene Rice on March 13, 2010 at 11:56pm
I'm not doing well!!....I lost my fiancee in a car accident Oct.27 2009. Anyone that says it gets easier with time is wrong. It's getting harder and harder everyday. I feel like my life is over too. I can barely get out of bed and I've become physically and emotionally sick.
Comment by kari vorbeck on February 14, 2010 at 1:49pm
I am new to this. I am not sure what to do. My husband died a month ago. He was undergoing a liver transplant when his heart stopped. The last 6 years I have been dealing with his illness of Hep C. Now that he is gone I find myself empty, doctors and hospitals have been the normal for our life.
Comment by Kathy Prettyman on February 10, 2010 at 10:36am
Diana,
They started the night of the accident. I just laid in bed and thought my heart was going to beat out of my chest and fly around the room. And I couldn't get out of bed, the fear was so bad.
Comment by Diana, Grief Recovery Coach on February 10, 2010 at 8:24am
Kathy,
Do you have a history of panic attacks or did they just start?
Comment by Kathy Prettyman on February 9, 2010 at 10:44pm
My mom and grandma were in a head on collision in September 2009. My mom survived but my grandma died soon after at the hospital. They were hit by a wrong way driver who was going into a diabetic coma.
I never truely realized just how physical grief is. I have had numerous panic/anxiety attacks since that day. Just when I think everything is going to go back to normal, it just hits me again. I lived with my grandma and mom for 25 years and I was so very close with my grandma. The district attorney in the county we live in has chosed not to prosicute the individual who caused this. I am mixed on that one. Yah, he didn't intend for this to happen. But there are numerous witnesess who told investigators that he was driving irratically for at least 2 miles. He got off with just losing his license. But he does have to live with this for the rest of his life. As do we.
Comment by Michelle on January 27, 2010 at 9:32am
How much longer is this pain going to last? It has been 28 days and I still have the same pain as I did when I first got the news of my Sister dying. She passed away on New Year's Eve from an accidental drug overdose and she was 35 years old. I am going back and forth from sad to mad and I can not control it. I just want to go to bed and wake up and it all be a bad dream. I started back to work and when I am working trying to stay busy all of a sudden I will start crying real hard and can't stop. Can someone please tell me how to ease the pain I have. =(
Comment by Toni Davis on January 26, 2010 at 4:38am
Tammie,
The pain will ease and deepen, and each day brings a small shard of light. Each of our experiences are personal and shared. I know that you miss him. I could write here and describe your loss, and mine, but no words could ever explain it. Please know that some of us have some small understanding of what you are feeling right now. We have to be strong choose it or not. It has been four months yesterday for me . tHow we can all forget those first few weeks. I dream every night...good ones and questioning ones. Regrets and smiles. It was not your fault Tammie, so go gently with both him and you. And I know the only hug you want is from him, but we are all doing our best to hold you now. Sleep tight and cry as much as you want and need. You are not alone .
Xxx
Comment by tammie on January 25, 2010 at 6:03am
hi im new to this and am just exploring to see if it can help me. my fiance of three years who was everything to me died on the 8th of november 2009 at just 20 years old i found himn dead in our bedroom after he had hanged himself this was the most traumatic and shoking thing ever and there was no reason for this he was sooo happy had loads of friends our own house his own buisness and engaged to be married i just dont understand and am finding it all to much i love and miss him soooooo much
Comment by Toni Davis on January 21, 2010 at 1:11pm
Jen,
That was traumatic. Nightmares are a normal response. Speak to someone who is trained in trauma. Or go on to sites for PTSD. Your experience is too much for you alone. Get support. It will make a big difference in the long term.
I wish that none of you had had to go through that. Go gently with your self.
Toni
 

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