Traumatic, Sudden Loss

Members: 943
Latest Activity: Aug 28, 2018

Traumatic, Sudden Loss

I have started this group for people who like myself have suddenly, tragically and traumatically lost a loved one.

My mom died 8 weeks ago (August 17, 2009) She had been sick but I did not know the true extent of her illness. Her doctor knew she did not have long and I went to each doctor visit and talked to him at the hospital and he never told me and I do not believe mom knew either. I am not sure.

I found my mom sitting up on her bed and I know I knew she was gone. I still am in deep shock and cry occasionally but only a minute or two. Then I am back to not feeling or feel numb.

Discussion Forum

New to the Group

Hello All-I am a new widow as my husband passed away April 21, 2018 at the age of 49. He suffered a heart attack and had no previous history of any heart conditions nor does it run in his family.  I…Continue

Started by Danielle Wood Aug 2, 2018.

Struggling 2 Replies

Hi. My name is Cristal. I lost the love of my life on July 2nd. He had leukemia and had no idea. I begged him to see a doctor in the months prior to his death but he would not do it. He also suffered…Continue

Started by Cristal. Last reply by Cristal Aug 1, 2018.

My "Little Brother"

Hi Everyone, My name is Carlyn, and I live in the Ft. Lauderdale area. I joined this site because a very dear friend of mine was killed in a hit-and-run accident in May. My friend Rick, whom I called…Continue

Tags: violent, death, loss, sudden, friend

Started by Carlyn Jorgensen Aug 28, 2017.

A proof of love 13 Replies

I just have a simple question...Is a headstone proof of how much a person was loved?Continue

Started by Toni Jones. Last reply by Christine Jun 3, 2017.

Comment Wall


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Comment by A. Buyten on May 16, 2017 at 6:48pm

Thank you Jackie!

Good words! Dance! I have been refreshed from my girlfriends sudden passing of 4+ years ago. By the love of my now girlfriend that I have known for 10 years. It is good I am able to carry on. I have never stopped loving my girl that passed. I still cry, I miss her, and feel incomplete in a way. But it has subsided and that is good in the way of feeling less anxiety, so that is easier for me to live a fuller life day to day. So like you said "Dance" and dance when you can. Smiles!

Comment by nicole rae on May 16, 2017 at 2:23pm

in my suicide support group its called "getting used to the new normal" its taking one day at a time. concentrating on one moment at a time is all we can do.

Comment by Theresa on May 13, 2017 at 12:15pm

Thank you Jackie, I will be thinking of you and everyone tomorrow.

Take care

Comment by Jackie cooke on May 13, 2017 at 8:38am
Sending you love Theresa, I'm having such a bad day I have cried all day. Some of my tears are for everyone else on here to. Know I'm sharing your pain xx
Comment by Theresa on May 13, 2017 at 7:56am
Tomorrow is Mother's Day it will be my second mom about my mom just as hard as the first one
Comment by Jackie cooke on May 7, 2017 at 1:45pm
If I Begin to Dance Again

If I begin to dance
does it mean I am too alive?
If I sing again
Does it mean I have forgotten you are gone?
If I laugh out loud
does it mean I have forgotten
You are forever silent?

If a day goes by
without a tear
is your memory fading?
If your name
is not spoken
does it mean you never were?

If my heart is light for an instant
does it mean I mourn you less?
And If I should get through a day
without the image of your last moments
does it mean I forget your suffering?

If you are dead
can I believe and live
and ever be the same again?

And if I am never to be the same again...
will it mean
that you have left me with the gift of
being more not less because of you?
Comment by Jackie cooke on May 6, 2017 at 4:28pm
Thanks Anne x
Comment by Jackie cooke on May 6, 2017 at 3:10pm
Iv done a lot of thinking today, another saturdaynspent a lone, a datnthatbused to be our favourite day of the week. Why dismayed have to die on a Saturday, it was our day,Mae spent all,day together,either in the garden or in front of fire, just talking, reading, watching tv, just happy in each other's company, not needing anyone else. 8 weeks today my life ended. No more peace love laughter or happiness, just pain and grief. But one thing I have realised today is that I don't want this pain to go. If there was a day when one thing happens or i see something that reminds me of Shirl and I don't feel this agonising pain I would be terrified that meant I had forgot her and was moving on, I never ever want to stop missing and loving her so don't ever want to stop hurting? The pain keeps her alive inside me and that's all iv got left of her now. Does this make sense
Comment by dream moon JO B on May 4, 2017 at 4:03pm

yep so tru 1 day it a day its lk bean a a baby agan cralin thn baby stps but dnt try2 rush grief evn if it taks yrs dnt rush it or let pepel bully us in 2 it it in 2 it

my hes all ovr it min coz moms got alz/dem wish cud tak yrs of msry for her us 2 i neam faly famly 

had so mush loss its got my hed bated it in 

i wush u cud of stad in 2011 nevr leve 2011 coz 212 212 2012 wz  my stred of a shit coster rid wish i still on u cud say

2013 wz loss 2 thn 2014 2015 2015 20116 2016 had 2 get my fur kid of 16 yrs of frndshp pts i had 2 

im scred 2 gt 2 clos 2 pepel i am in cas i lozze thm i am do i sond mad iv bean hear sisne 2012 i hav its juts 2 mush loss its getin 2 me it is

Comment by stewart p on May 4, 2017 at 12:24pm

karen stephenson

you just do, one day at a time, it sucks, its horrible, it stinks and nothing good about it but you go through it and in the process something happens that changes nearly everything you ever thought about life before if you let it happen, the pain is just that, emotional pain but it will not kill any of us, but it does hurt god awful, bone crushing, gut wrenching at times.  Ive spent plenty a night and day feeling that horrible pain so i know what it feels like, but we live to see another day and so on, i know it might sound kind of cliche, but thats what happens and eventually more time passes and for many people you just get use to it, adapt to the new surreal i guess for lack of a better word.  Best to you


Members (942)



Latest Activity

Theresa commented on Karen's group I miss my Mom!
"I hear it all the time you don’t know how lucky you were that your mother wasn’t sick and you didn’t have to take care of her I say to them lucky I was lucky that my mother died and I was not right by her side to tell her I love…"
12 hours ago
Brett Bowman commented on Karen's group I miss my Mom!
"M, the problem is that our security blankets were ripped away. Like you, sometimes I am glad to be sad. I feel like I am closer to my mom when I am crying. At least, her memory is fresher with me when I am in that zone. I feel like the hard reality…"
18 hours ago
Brett Bowman commented on Karen's group I miss my Mom!
"Theresa, millions, billions of people have lost their moms. Sometimes someone will tell me that they have lost their mom, too, but they were able to deal with it, and they wonder why I haven't dealt with it as well. This may sound like an…"
18 hours ago
M Adams commented on Karen's group I miss my Mom!
"Me too ...I was sitting marking a paper yesterday and suddenly realized that I can’t see or talk to my mother about this or anything else and the tears came.  But I’m glad to think of her, in a way I can be glad to be sad sometimes.…"
23 hours ago
Theresa commented on Karen's group I miss my Mom!
"I sometimes will just be sitting down and I start to cry because I keep thinking I miss my mom so much my whole world is just not the same I think that I’ve become a different person it will be four years and I still cry I can’t put into…"
M Adams commented on Karen's group I miss my Mom!
"Definitely a colder world now.  I like the image of the security blanket — like, as we go forward, we will always keep it but eventually may be able to wash it, fold it nicely, and put it in some place of honour close at hand but without…"
Brett Bowman commented on Karen's group I miss my Mom!
"The world just became a colder place when my mom died. I just remember feeling like all was right with the world when my mom was in the next room. "
Sue Toler commented on Karen's group I miss my Mom!
"It is such a traumatic event, especially when you have had a wonderful Mom.  It is so hard knowing she is gone.  Knowing this is permanent.  There is no one that can fill the void she left.  My brother was close to Mom, but he…"
Cherie is now a member of Online Grief Support - A Social Community
Amy replied to Amy's discussion How do I get unstuck?
"I am not a believer and nor was he. We covered the bases just incase though. We were both raised Catholic. That is all besides the point though. "
Brett Bowman commented on Karen's group I miss my Mom!
"While I never forget that my mom is gone, for some reason it just hits me over the head sometimes. Just out of the blue I'll be like, "Mom is gone." It's horrible. It's ever present. And the thing is that it is always with…"
Sue Toler commented on Karen's group I miss my Mom!
"My Mom also.  I could always talk to her about anything & knew she was someone I could totally trust.  I am constantly thinking of something I want to share with her & then I remember she is gone.  I loved spending time with…"
Brett Bowman commented on Karen's group I miss my Mom!
"There is no doubt that it is anxiety. In fact, I think we are experiencing fight or flight. Since birth my mom had been my security blanket."
Sue Toler commented on Karen's group I miss my Mom!
"It is still numbing to think my Mom is gone & I can't talk to her or see her again.  I lost part of me when she passed.  Someone said the restless feelings I have are really anxiety.  Daily crying is part of my life. …"
Brett Bowman commented on Karen's group I miss my Mom!
"I would rather cry on the outside than on the inside. Crying on the outside is a release. I am really tired of being sad. I'm also tired of being scared. Life without my mom still seems like a scary proposition. All we can do is to continue to…"
Profile IconGeorge Makhniashvili and Amatullah joined Online Grief Support - A Social Community
Brett Bowman replied to Lynn Fisher's discussion New here in the group I miss my Mom!
"You and I experienced something very similar. You are not an anonymous person who lost her mother. I just wish that I knew the words that would make it all better. I don't. I'm still trying to figure it out for myself. All I know is that…"
Lynn Fisher replied to Lynn Fisher's discussion New here in the group I miss my Mom!
"Thank you so much for your kind words.  It means a lot to me that you would take the time to bring me some peace, which you have."
Sue Toler commented on Karen's group I miss my Mom!
"So glad you have your daughter.  I was so close to my Dad & so many wonderful memories of time I spent with him.  It has been over four months since I lost my Mom.  I try to stay busy, but still have a lot of grief…"
Avi commented on Karen's group I miss my Mom!
"Hi All,  Hope everybody doing good. My daughter is growing up and keeps me busy but any day I sit and feel guilty of not serving my mother, I feel like crying. She should have enjoyed so much with her grand daughter but destiny had some other…"

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